


Two Weeks of Tutoring

by Feriku



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Dyslexia, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Flirting, Fluff and Angst, Homework, Hurt/Comfort, I may have left off some character tags for spoiler reasons, Jan Van Eck is awful, M/M, Miscommunication, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Tension, Tutoring, Underage Drinking, wesper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-04-29 18:56:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 37
Words: 83,993
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14479065
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feriku/pseuds/Feriku
Summary: Wylan Van Eck signs up as a math tutor for a simple reason: to escape his oppressive home for an extra hour each day. Anything is better than staying there, even dealing with unrequited feelings for a student who hates him.Jesper Fahey, who would rather have a good time than study, sees no need for a tutor--especially not a rich brat who panics at the slightest hint of flirtation.But when Jesper reluctantly agrees to endure two weeks of tutoring, neither of them is prepared for how it will change their lives.





	1. Tutoring

**Author's Note:**

> I still haven't worked out a sequel to my other Modern AU, so instead you get a brand-new one! (This almost involved video games, but that didn't work out, making it the second video game-themed wesper fanfic I've scrapped.)

Jesper closed the door as quietly as he could and snuck toward the stairs. If he was careful enough, he could make it to his room and—

“Jes?”

No such luck.

He sighed and turned to face his dad, who had entered the room. “Hi, Dad.” He tried to sound casual. “How was your day?”

“I got a call from your school this afternoon.”

Luck was definitely not on Jesper’s side today. “I swear it was a complete accident. Anika and I just misunderstood the instructions, that’s all. No one was burned!”

His dad’s eyebrows shot up so fast he realized he’d made a terrible mistake. “I got a call from your _math_ teacher, but let’s hear about this first.”

Crap… Jesper rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, it was nothing, really.”

“Anika is your lab partner in Chemistry, isn’t she? What do you mean ‘no one was burned’? What happened?”

“We had a problem and some acid hit the desk. No big deal.” Jesper cleared his throat and took another step toward the stairs. “Is that all?”

His dad folded his arms. “We’ll discuss your Chemistry class later. For now, I want to talk about Pre-Calculus. Miss Smith called me after school today.”

Discussing the acid incident might have been more pleasant.

“I… guess my grades haven’t been so good lately.” This year was out to get him. That F on his last test had gotten his teacher’s attention, apparently enough to call home.

“She said she spoke to you about taking part in the new tutoring program, but you refused.”

Jesper shoved his hands into his pockets and glanced away. “I don’t need a tutor.”

His dad let out a long sigh. “It might help.”

“It won’t.”

“How do you know that if you haven’t tried?”

“Because.” He’d have liked to leave it at that, but his dad probably wouldn’t accept it as an answer. “They don’t have formal tutors or anything like that. The tutoring program uses other students.”

He glanced at his dad’s face, but instead of nodding with understanding, he’d raised his eyebrows instead. “I’m sure the students were picked because they're good enough to be tutors.”

“I don’t need one of my classmates telling me how to do my math homework!”

“That’s the only problem?” his dad asked. “So if the tutors were professionals, you’d give it a try?”

There weren’t any professional tutors in the area, at least not that a farmer could afford—but just in case one had shown up somewhere, Jesper bit back his automatic _yes._

“I’d consider it,” he said instead. With any luck, that didn’t sound like he was just trying to be difficult.

His dad sighed and shook his head. “Are you just trying to be difficult?”

Jesper folded his arms. “Come on, Dad. I’ve never gotten good grades in math. I’ve been bad at math all my life. Why would it change now?”

“Because you’d have someone helping you.”

“If the teachers can’t teach me math—”

“It might help if it’s another student,” his dad said. “Are you sure you wouldn’t be more comfortable studying with a friend?”

“None of my friends are tutors.”

“You know what I mean.”

But it was pointless. Staying after school for tutoring would be a waste of his time, and it might end up being more boring than class depending on who his tutor was. Besides, then his classmates would know that not only was he bad at math—which they probably knew anyway—but that he was getting _help_ with it.

Ever since he reached high school and his grades started to slip, he’d cultivated the Jesper Fahey image.

The Jesper Fahey image involved being cool, maybe a bit of a slacker, someone who went to school to have a good time and didn’t care what anyone thought. It didn’t involve tutors.

He shook his head and turned toward the stairs. This conversation was over.

“Jes, I want you to try it.”

He froze with his foot on the first step. He should just go straight to his room and pretend he hadn’t heard. But he couldn’t just ignore his dad when he sounded like that. Jesper turned.

Concern creased his dad’s face. “I’ve been worried about you lately.”

“Come on, don’t make a big deal out of this.”

“I know you’ve been gambling.”

“Not in a while.” A lie.

“You make it sound like nothing has changed,” his dad said, “but it has. Sometimes I feel like you don’t care anymore.”

Maybe that was true. What was the point? His dad hadn’t gone to college. Why should he? And if he wasn’t going to college, why did it matter how he did in school? At least he had his friends.

“Getting a tutor won’t change anything,” he said.

For a long moment, his dad just looked at him. Then he sighed. “Would you consider a compromise?”

Jesper narrowed his eyes. “What sort of compromise?”

“Give it a try. Try out the tutoring for a couple of months—”

“A few days.”

“One month?”

“A week.”

“Until your next math test?”

Their next test was coming up in two weeks. A bit longer than Jesper wanted to endure tutoring for, but not terrible. He could survive two weeks. “Deal.”

His dad smiled. “After that, if you want to quit, I won’t stop you. Will you talk to Miss Smith about it tomorrow?”

“Sure, Dad.” Jesper laughed and shook his head. “If that’ll make you happy, I’ll do it.”

Two weeks. He’d put up with the tutoring, do his best to shake it off as nothing so people wouldn’t think he’d suddenly gotten studious, and then quit. His dad was crazy if he thought a deal like this would change anything.

#

Wylan closed his eyes and listened to the audiobook version of his history textbook. He ran through the next section again and focused on each word. Good. Once more and he should have enough memorized to fake anything in class tomorrow.

Next, math. Their advanced class focused more on problem-solving lately, but there were still sections he wanted to review. He’d save English for evening. It was the worst—long sections to memorize with the greatest chance that he’d need to fake it in class.

The phone rang.

His stomach flipped, and he glanced at the time. The teachers would have finished their work at the school for the day. This had to be it.

He crept into the hall far enough to hear his father’s voice from downstairs.

“There must be some mistake.” A long pause. “No, there’s no—” Another pause. “That is to say—” Each time he had to restart, his tone grew more frustrated. “I’m certain that—” The longest pause yet. “He _did_?”

Wylan winced. This might go worse than he expected.

When his father spoke into the phone again, his voice was chilly. “I’m not certain Wylan is _qualified_ to be a tutor.”

Neither was Wylan, if he was honest. But Miss Smith had asked him if he’d give it a try as part of their new student-led tutoring initiative, and he accepted for two reasons. First, her praise of his math skills stood in such sharp contrast to his father’s criticism of him that he wanted to prove himself worthy of it.

Second, tutoring sessions took place for an hour after school. That would be an extra hour each day he didn’t have to go home.

“He has always preferred to be on his own,” his father said into the phone. “That might make for a poor teaching environment.” He paused again, and whatever the teacher said must have displeased him, because his voice soured. “Yes, it could be a chance for improvement.”

Wylan held his breath and waited. This was the moment of truth, when he’d get to see if his gamble paid off or not.

The offer forced a conflict between two of the things his father valued the most. Strict control over Wylan versus the reputation of the Van Eck name. Although he belittled Wylan in private, he forced him to keep his inability to read a secret in public, to maintain their reputation. He undoubtedly wanted to sneer that Wylan wasn’t intelligent enough to tutor anyone, but then the mask would slip.

Which was more important to him? Controlling his son for that hour after school, or pretending the Van Eck family had no deficiencies? Wylan prayed it was the latter.

“I see.” His father’s voice had lost all semblance of warmth. “Very well. He’ll be there.”

Wylan exhaled.

The phone slammed down. “Wylan!”

He took a breath to steady himself, waited long enough to make it appear as though he’d come from his room instead of an eavesdropping spot, and walked downstairs.

His father fixed him with a glare the moment he reached the first floor. “You signed up to be a tutor?”

Wylan drew another breath. “My teacher asked me to.”

“And you agreed?”

“I didn’t have a good excuse not to. It wouldn’t be good for someone with the Van Eck name to refuse an opportunity—”

His father struck his face before he could finish the sentence. “Don’t try to be cute.”

Wylan stumbled backward, his face stinging, and looked toward the drawing room door.

“Alys is out tonight.”

Oh. He struggled to keep his composure, even though his mind screamed to run or at least curl into a tiny, nonthreatening ball. Although Alys was oblivious and naïve, she wasn’t blind. His father refrained from overt abuse in front of her, unwilling to scare off his new wife.

A replacement wife to give him a replacement son. The thought made Wylan yearn to be eighteen and able to leave home. He’d gladly be replaced if it meant escaping.

“You’d better not be lying to me.” His father took a step toward him for each step Wylan backpedaled, until Wylan’s back was pressed against the wall. “If you use this ‘tutoring’ in order to hide other activities, I will remove you from that school and you’ll never see the light of day again without a keeper. Do you understand?”

As if Wylan had any friends to hang out with. It was impossible to bond with his classmates when he was so closely monitored, not allowed to spend time with them or even talk to people online.

“ _Do you understand?_ ”

At his father’s upraised hand, Wylan flinched back so suddenly he hit his head against the wall. “Yes, sir.”

“And don’t let anyone—anyone at all—know about your problem.” His father grabbed him by the shoulders. “If a single soul finds out that I have a son too stupid to learn how to read, it will be the worst mistake of your life.”

Wylan lowered his head in a jerky nod. “I understand, sir.”

“Good.” His father let him go.

Surprised, he nearly fell. That was it? Really? He stared up at his father, unable to feel safe until they were in separate rooms again. The walls were closing in around him. His eyes stung, and he realized he’d started crying.

“Look at you.” His father’s lip curled. “ _You’re_ going to tutor someone? You disgust me.”

And that hurt worse than the physical blow. Every day, Wylan clung to his remaining shreds of hope that despite the contempt and scorn and punishment, his father still loved him, and every day, those shreds of hope became fewer.


	2. The Worst Possibility

Jesper tried not to look like he was sulking as he stood by Miss Smith’s desk. Instead, he aimed for cool and vaguely annoyed, forced to tolerate an inconvenience but not put off by it.

And definitely not horrified that at the end of the day, he’d be told what to do by someone his own age.

“I’m glad you reconsidered,” she said.

He’d gone first thing in the morning to tell her, because his dad insisted he not put it off and risk “forgetting” after school.

“I lined up a math tutor yesterday, so your timing is perfect.”

“Who is it?” he asked, too quickly despite his plan to sound casual.

“Wylan.”

Jesper frowned. “There’s no one in my class named Wylan.”

“He’s a year younger than you.”

What?

Wait, _what_?

Not only did they decide he needed help from another student, they decided someone a grade behind him could do it? Had he fallen that far?

Miss Smith continued as though she didn’t realize the enormous unfairness of this situation. “You might have seen him around. His full name is Wylan Van Eck.”

Wylan Van Eck?

Van Eck… The name sounded familiar…

Oh, no way. No _way._ Jan Van Eck owned most of the town. Wylan must be his son. Jesper gaped at Miss Smith. Not only did they put him with a student younger than him, but it had to be some stuck-up rich kid, too?

She raised her eyebrows. “Is something wrong?”

He bit back his immediate comment, because he’d sound whiny if he protested Wylan’s social status, and moved to the other complaint. “If he’s not in my grade, how will he know the material we’re covering?”

“Wylan is excellent at math. He’s been taking advanced math classes that have already passed the material taught to your grade.”

Oh great. Fantastic. A younger stuck-up rich super-genius. Just what he needed.

“He’s in my first class,” she said, oblivious to the problems. “Would you like to wait so you can meet him?”

“Ah. No. I should get to homeroom.”

“I understand. I’ll tell Wylan to meet you in the library after school.”

Jesper sighed, then waited for her to relent and say tutoring was unnecessary after all. She didn’t. He let out a second sigh, longer than the first, in case she’d missed it.

Silence.

He shook his head and stomped out of the classroom. Stomping was a bit undignified for his casual air, but he couldn’t help it. Stupid rich math genius…

At least he only agreed to do this for two weeks. Just two weeks. He could probably learn to tolerate Wylan Van Eck for that amount of time.

But he sure wasn’t going to make the brat’s life easy.

 # 

Wylan closed his eyes and took a deep breath. His stomach churned despite his efforts to calm down. At least there were bathrooms right outside the library, in case he threw up due to nerves.

He drummed his fingers against the table he sat at and looked at the clock. Miss Smith told him after class that she had someone lined up for tutoring, a boy named Jesper Fahey.

He’d heard that name before. There was a group of older students at lunch that no one dared to go near, some sort of clique called the Dregs, and Jesper Fahey was one of them. He was pretty popular outside that group, too.

God, he really was going to be sick. There were few fates worse than trying to not only talk to one of the popular kids, but actually give him instructions and teach him something. Jesper would probably mock him, if not outright bully him.

…But the alternative was being at home with his father, so Wylan took another deep breath and watched the library doors.

They opened.

A tall boy entered the library, and Wylan’s stomach flipped. He’d gone through everything that could possibly go wrong with this tutoring session—he’d be a lousy teacher, Jesper would hate him, he’d let his secret slip and soon it would be all over the school that he couldn't read—but he’d overlooked the worst possibility of all.

His would-be student was incredibly attractive.

Wylan swallowed and hoped he didn’t look as flushed as he felt. Jesper was the sort of boy who would be described as pretty, with his smooth dark skin and those perfect lips.

“Hey.” Jesper stopped at his table. “I guess you’re Wylan?”

“Um.” Oh God, oh God, like he hadn’t given the popular students enough reason to make fun of him already. If he kept gawking at Jesper, _Wylan Van Eck is gay_ would go from being a rumor to the biggest gossip in school. “Yes.”

“Great.” Jesper yanked out the chair across from him and flopped into it.

Wylan rubbed his burning cheeks. “So… I’m supposed to help you with math.”

“Yep. Whoop-de-doo.”

Not pretty, he’d definitely be called handsome thanks to the strong set of his face.

Focus. He had to think about math, not about Jesper’s face. “You’re in Pre-Calc, right?”

“For some ungodly reason, yes.”

Wylan raised his eyebrows.

The other boy’s mouth twisted into a pout. “I’m never going to take Calculus. The heck am I doing in Pre-Calculus?”

“It’s part of the curriculum.”

“The curriculum stinks.”

Wylan sighed. “Where do you want to start with our tutoring?”

“Nowhere.”

“What about Pre-Calc has been giving you trouble?”

“Nothing.”

It wasn’t a proper tutor mindset to want to strangle his student after less than five minutes together, but Wylan couldn’t help it. He gritted his teeth. “Can I see your last homework assignment?”

“Sure.” With a shrug, Jesper reached into his backpack and brought out a folder. He pulled a sheet of paper from it and set it on the table.

It was blank.

God, this had to be some sort of punishment, and yet it was _still_ better than being at home. “You didn’t do your homework?”

“Nope.”

“Why not?”

“I’ve got much more fun things to do with my time.”

“Like what?” Wylan asked, a little annoyed.

Gray eyes locked onto his, and he stopped breathing. Forget pretty, forget handsome, Jesper was _hot_.

“I bet you’d love to know,” Jesper said, his voice practically a purr, and that together with his looks did nothing to improve Wylan’s mental state.

“Um.”

He wasn’t insinuating anything, he wasn’t, he couldn’t be, and there was no reason to blush, none at all. Wylan broke eye contact. If he’d blushed as much as it felt like he did, he probably resembled a stop sign.

“I like to play cards,” Jesper said.

Wylan glanced at him. “What?”

“Cards. You wanted to know what I do instead of my homework. There are some secret places downtown where you can play cards. Poker and stuff like that.” He winked. “Much more fun than homework.”

Oh. That was all he meant. Of course. Irritation prickled Wylan, and he scowled at the other boy. It wasn’t like he _hoped_ Jesper had been flirting with him, of course not—but it was infuriating that he got embarrassed when all he was talking about was _cards_.

“What’s that scary look for?” Jesper asked. “Are you one of those super-religious types that thinks gambling is evil?”

“It’s a waste of your time,” Wylan said, sharper than he intended, annoyed that he’d blushed over something that wasn’t even flirting. “Doing your homework would be more helpful.”

Jesper snorted. “Sorry, Mr. Van Eck, but some of us have to worry about money instead of having everything handed to us.”

“So you win when you play cards, then?”

“Yeah.”

“You must have awfully good luck, to make it more worthwhile than getting a job.”

“I’d rather not be stuck in a dead-end job, thanks.”

“Then why don’t you do your homework, and maybe you’d have a chance at something better?”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jesper thrust a shaking finger across the table at Wylan. “Your father basically owns the town. You can have anything you ask for.”

Wylan laughed, unable to help it. Asking his father for anything usually resulted in a lecture on how worthless he was.

Jesper glared at him and stood. “That’s it, I’m done.”

“What?”

“I said, I’m done. This is stupid. I don’t need to be tutored, especially not from _you_.”

Wylan flinched. He knew what Jesper meant, but all the same it brought back echoes of his father. He wasn’t good enough to be a tutor. It was only the first day, and he’d already failed.

After three steps toward the door, however, Jesper stopped and turned around. He trudged back to his seat. “Changed my mind.”

“Why?”

Jesper shrugged.

Wylan tried to push aside his lingering annoyance and distress and focus on the other boy’s face—not how beautiful it was, but the emotion there. If he understood him better, maybe they could make some progress. “You don’t seem like you want to be tutored.”

“Wow, we’ve got a genius here. Great deduction.”

He sighed. “It’s voluntary. Why did you sign up if you don’t—”

“I promised my dad.”

Oh. Wylan's stomach twisted. “Will he… be angry if you back out?”

Jesper groaned. “Angry? I wish. No, he’ll just make that ‘oh Jesper, I’m so disappointed’ face, and I’ll be left trying to make him understand even though I know he’s right.” His jaw clenched. “Forget you heard that, by the way. I do _not_ think he’s right. I don’t need to be tutored.”

“Is he upset about your grades?”

“My grades, the gambling, you name it. Keeps saying how worried he is for me. He always talks about how I’d do so well if I tried harder and could get into a great college. I don’t get it. He’s a farmer, so why can’t I be a farmer too? Why does he want me to go to college?”

Wylan shrugged, out of his depth. He couldn’t imagine _his_ father worrying about him and encouraging him to go to college.

“Anyway, why am I telling you this?” Jesper folded his arms. “We’re here for math, right? Go on. Tutor me. Get it over with.”

Learning more about him might help to bridge the gap between them, but maybe not just yet. Wylan glanced at the clock. They had over half an hour left to go. With a sigh, he opened Jesper’s Pre-Calculus book. “Let’s start at the beginning.”

#

Jesper made a point of slamming the door and stomping extra loudly once he got home from school, to emphasize how late he was thanks to this unpleasant activity that had been unfairly hoisted upon him.

Sure enough, after a minute of stomping, his dad entered the room. “How was it?”

“Awful.”

“Is your tutor nice?”

“He’s rich.”

His dad’s eyebrows twitched up. “That doesn’t mean he can’t be nice.”

“Well…” All right, so Wylan wasn’t _mean_ , just annoying and altogether too focused on studies. “He yelled at me for playing cards instead of doing my homework and made me do a math problem right in front of him. And then he told me why I got the wrong answer and what to do and made me do it again!”

Instead of sympathizing, his dad burst out laughing. “I like him already.”

“Dad!”

He just laughed harder.

Jesper groaned. It was much easier to dismiss Wylan’s criticisms as the nonsense of a rich kid who didn’t understand his situation when his own dad wasn’t agreeing with him.

But maybe Wylan wasn’t all bad. And he was kind of cute—especially when Jesper teased him and he turned red. If he could get his mind off of math, it might be worthwhile.

Oh, who was he kidding? When Jesper flirted with him, he’d looked about ready to pass out, the sort of wide-eyed panic Jesper saw from straight guys who didn’t know how to deal with it. Even once he used the excuse that he’d been thinking of cards, Wylan remained prickly and distant. He probably found the whole idea uncomfortable.

Jesper inwardly kicked himself. This was ridiculous. Wylan’s sexual orientation didn’t matter to him. Not at all. That kid was an annoyance he had to endure for two weeks.

Nothing more.


	3. Death By Jesper

Jesper glared at his lunch tray. In a few hours, he’d have to attend another tutoring session. It wouldn’t go any better than the first one.

Kaz finally arrived and sat down with a dismissive shake of his head.

“Where were you?” Inej asked.

“Principal Haskell asked to see me.” Kaz snorted. “He had a report about me trying to hack a website from the school computers.”

“Did you?” Inej asked.

“Of course not. I was looking up information on how to do it from home.”

Matthias sighed loudly.

“I have a good reason,” Kaz said. “Not that Haskell would sympathize if I told him.”

“I can’t stand him,” Nina said.

“You know who I can’t stand?” Jesper asked.

“Wylan Van Eck,” all four of his friends said in unison.

He frowned. “How did you know?”

It was Inej’s turn to sigh. “You’ve told us ten times since lunch started.”

“I think it was eleven,” Nina said.

“Twelve,” Matthias said. “I counted.”

“Come on, guys.” Jesper threw his hands into the air. “It hasn’t been that bad.”

“Jesper.” Kaz fixed him with a flat stare. “You interrupted me during every class this morning to complain about Wylan.”

Oh. Maybe it was that bad. “Well he’s annoying. I don’t need a tutor. I don’t want a tutor.” Especially not an annoying brat like Wylan. “Do you know he actually made me work through math problems in front of him?”

“You told us,” Nina said.

Matthias nodded. “Twelve times.”

More protests rose up, but Jesper forced them down. He didn’t want to drive his friends crazy with his complaints. He’d get his mind on other things and make the most of the time before his next tutoring session.

It wasn’t like he had anyone else to commiserate with, though. He tried talking to other classmates about Wylan, but while several of them disliked the little pest, they responded by making fun of him. Annoying or not, it didn’t feel good to laugh at him.

Inej cleared her throat. “Right now, I think it’s more important to discuss this hacking issue.”

“There’s nothing to discuss,” Kaz said.

“Kaz…”

“It won’t work anyway. That would be too easy.”

“Forget Kaz’s hacking,” Nina said. “Shouldn’t we talk about a certain person’s Chemistry antics? They had to put new safety precautions in place!”

A flash of golden curls across the room made Jesper’s heart skip a beat. The little prick had lunch with them. “Look.”

“Look at what?” Nina asked.

“Wylan.” He pointed, irritated beyond belief. “Just look at him.”

They looked. Then they looked back at Jesper.

“What are we supposed to see?” Inej asked.

“How annoying he is! He’s sitting there like some… perfect… angel!”

No one said anything.

Finally, Kaz cleared his throat. “We’ll visit you, Jes.”

“What?”

“We’ll visit you. In the asylum. Since you’ve clearly lost your mind.”

Jesper clenched his hands into fists. “Come on, you of all people have to see this. He’s rich, he’s a Van Eck, and he’s sitting over there like he’s so much _better_ than everyone else, all perfect and sweet.”

They all looked back at Wylan again.

“So,” Inej said. “No more hacking?”

Kaz shrugged. “For now.”

“And Jes, what about this Chemistry incident?”

“He even _eats_ in an annoying way. Look at the tiny bites he’s taking. Like he’s so prim and proper.”

“Earth to Jesper…”

“He’s gone,” Nina said. “Forget about Chemistry. Did anyone else see the commercial for that new show on TV? The fantasy show?”

“It looks interesting,” Inej said.

“It looks immoral,” Matthias said. “The commercial showed two sex scenes. _Two_.”

Nina rolled her eyes. “Oh my. I might faint.”

“They were _on-screen._ ”

“For all you know, the camera will cut away without showing more than they had in the commercial.”

Jesper slammed his hand down on the table. “He’s not talking to anyone. Why isn’t he hanging out with his friends like a normal person? Doesn’t he think about anything but math?”

Kaz shot him an annoyed glare. “What is the matter with you?”

“Him!”

Inej’s lips twitched. “You’re interested in him, aren’t you?”

“What? No! And even if I was, he wouldn’t want me. Not that I care. I don’t like him.”

Definitely not.

God, he wished he’d never agreed to tutoring.

#

When classes ended, Wylan told himself to stay calm. He’d already heard a few whispers about the time he spent with Jesper. Nothing major, nothing that should reach Jesper’s ears, but enough to know he couldn’t stare at the other boy like he was lovesick. A few rumors claimed Jesper had been complaining about him to anyone who would listen. So there really was no chance at all.

He walked to the library and settled down at the same table they used the previous day. The librarian rarely stayed there after school hours, so they’d be unsupervised for most of their sessions.

Just him and Jesper in the library all alone.

Stop. He couldn’t risk it. At best, Jesper would laugh if he realized where Wylan’s thoughts were going, at worst he’d be disgusted.

So Wylan would keep his emotions in check, open up enough to make things easier between them, and focus on math.

The doors open and Jesper trudged into the library with a sullen expression, as if he’d rather be anywhere else. Good Lord, how could anyone make pouting look so attractive? Wylan could almost imagine kissing that frown away.

_Math,_ they had to focus on math.

“Sorry I’m late.” Jesper sat down and placed his math book on the table with a melodramatic flourish. “You know how it is when you’re popular.”

“No I don’t,” Wylan said before he could help himself. God, was his brain going out of its way to humiliate him?

To his credit, the tall boy didn’t laugh. “With everyone trying to tear me from my studies so often, no wonder I’m such a mess.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I’m serious. People can’t keep their hands off of me.” He winked.

Heat flushed Wylan’s body. That was perfectly understandable. If he ever got his hands on Jesper, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to remove them.

“They’ll just have to understand,” Jesper said with an exaggerated flutter of his eyelashes. “I cannot be with my paramour today because I have studying to do.”

“Paramour?”

“Figured that would be better for your delicate sensibilities than any of the other words I had in mind.”

Wylan scowled. As if it wasn’t bad enough Jesper liked to take time away from their tutoring session, he had to do it by discussing his sexual antics. Fine, he’d rather be in bed with someone than study math with Wylan, and that someone would never ever _be_ Wylan.

“Aha.” Jesper leaned forward and tapped Wylan on the nose. “There’s your problem, it’s that angry face.”

“Excuse me?”

“If you stopped making that angry face all the time, you’d get some action too.”

“No thank you,” Wylan said stiffly.

“Don’t you ever relax? Or does straight-laced Wylan Van Eck have something against getting laid? Waiting for marriage, dear?”

_Dear_ , he had to call him _dear_ in the middle of a conversation like this. And it was really none of his business if Wylan wanted to have sex that night or wait until marriage or never do it at all.

And they were supposed to focus on math. He’d promised not to let his thoughts stray to anything like this.

“Take it from me,” Jesper said. “I’m an expert.”

Of course he was. Of course. He was an expert at sleeping with people who weren’t Wylan, and even if he ever got interested, Wylan would just be one more casual encounter for Jesper to have fun with, not anything special, because _no one_ wanted anything special with—

“Math!” Wylan drew in a sharp breath. “Math, we’re supposed to be focusing on math.”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “Ugh, fine.”

# 

Wylan glanced at the clock. They had fifteen minutes left. And he was pretty sure they would be his final fifteen minutes alive.

Morbid though it was, he often wondered how he would die. Ever since his mother died and his father’s resentment turned to hatred, he’d been curious about how it would happen. Usually he thought he’d go too far one day and his father would kill him, either in rage or to remove the embarrassment from his life forever.

But he was wrong. It would be death by Jesper.

Jesper’s gorgeous smile whenever he cracked a joke, how his strong fingers curved around the pencil as he reluctantly worked through a math problem, his lanky build that made Wylan’s skin break out his goosebumps whenever he moved, and _the way his foot kept bumping against Wylan’s under the table._

“You’ve gotten awfully quiet,” Jesper said.

“Um.” Their feet brushed again. “I didn’t think I should talk while you were working.”

“Well what do you think? Am I doing this right?”

Wylan tilted the paper so he could see. “Yes, you’re on the right track.”

“Great. Sounds like enough work for one day.”

“Aren’t you going to”—the sudden contact of their legs beneath the table made Wylan’s voice crack—“finish the problem?”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “Fine.”

As he worked, Wylan fought the urge to look under the table to find out what Jesper was doing with his foot to bring them together so often. It was okay, he could keep a cool head, it wasn’t like he’d never bumped into someone, so this accidental contact shouldn’t make his heart pound so much… Good. He was calm again.

Then the tip of Jesper’s shoe touched his leg and trailed slowly downward. A strangled sound escaped Wylan’s lips.

Jesper jumped and looked under the table. “Crap, has that been you the entire time? I thought it was your backpack. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.”

“Hope I didn’t freak you out or anything.”

“No, it”—felt good, so good, but he couldn’t say that—“just surprised me.”

“Sorry.”

Wylan glanced away. For a moment, he’d thought it was intentional, that Jesper was stroking his leg in flirtation. Stupid. Of course it wasn’t that at all. The other boy had intended to play with his backpack.

At least it was over. With the truth revealed, Jesper kept his legs to himself and there was no more accidental contact. Exactly what Wylan had been hoping for. He didn’t miss it.

He propped his chin in his hand and sulked.

“What’s gotten into you?” Jesper said with a laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re disappointed I stopped.”

“No! Of course not. But you shouldn’t kick around people’s backpacks, either.”

Jesper’s smile faltered for a second, but then it was back in place as if it had never been gone. “Sheesh, what a grouch. Don’t you ever lighten up?”

“Finish the problem,” Wylan said through gritted teeth.

“Relax, it’s done. Behold, oh great tutor, my handiwork.”

Wylan accepted the paper and glanced over the problem. “That’s right.” And he shouldn’t let his own pathetic desires get in the way of proper tutoring. “You did a great job.”

“Cool. So we’re done?”

They still had a few minutes, but he didn’t think he could bear being at the table together any longer. “Sure.” He grabbed his backpack.

Jesper stood and stretched. “Oh, hey, can I have your number?”

The backpack slipped from Wylan’s fingers, and he barely caught it in time. “ _What?_ ”

“Relax, you weirdo, I’m not hitting on you. I just thought it would be good to have a way to get in touch in case one of us needs to miss.”

Oh. Wylan cleared his throat. “Sorry, I can’t.”

“You don’t give your phone number to commoners?”

“I don’t give it to anyone.” He stared at the table. “I have a phone, but it’s just for my father if he needs to contact me.”

“What’s he going to do, monitor your call activity?”

“Yes.”

“Oh. Email, then?”

He monitored that, too. Wylan only had a computer because he needed it for school, and it provided little escape despite the speech recognition software he’d installed. He’d visited an online forum once where he thought he could make friends, but his father found out. That was one of the times he’d actually beaten him, all while shouting about how Wylan took advantage of his trust by misusing the computer given to him for educational purposes.

Ever since then, Wylan hadn’t risked it, but there were still times when his father showed up to inspect his search history, usually after school assignments led him to research unusual topics. His room had to be bugged.

“We have the same lunch period, don’t we?” he asked, because it was easier than to explain all that. “If something comes up, let’s talk about it there or have someone pass on a message.”

“Fine, that works.” Jesper wagged a finger at him. “No interrupting my lunch with math problems, though, you hear?”

Wylan smiled. “I’m not obsessed with math.”

“Could have fooled me.”

Because they only interacted in tutoring sessions. If they spent more time together, Jesper would see he was interested in more than math. But this was painful enough already.

_Relax, you weirdo._

_Weirdo._

The word echoed through his mind. Jesper considered him a _weirdo_ for thinking he would ever want his number for personal reasons. It wasn’t something he wanted, it was something _weird._ More time together would break Wylan’s heart.

So he kept the thought to himself. “Tomorrow we’ll move on to the next section. See you then.”

“Sure.”

# 

“How was it?” Jesper’s dad asked the moment he got home.

“Boring.”

“And?”

“I guess I’m making progress.”

“Glad to hear it.” His dad clapped him on the shoulder. “Are you getting along any better with your tutor?”

Jesper grunted and hoped he’d accept that as an answer. It was a lot easier than trying to explain how badly he messed things up. No more discussions of anything sexual with Wylan. He clearly hated it. And no physical contact if he could avoid it. Sure, it was an embarrassing accident to run his foot along his leg like that, but that noise Wylan made seemed more fitting for someone being tortured.

And he looked about ready to have a stroke when Jesper asked for his phone number. Apparently Jesper asking for his number was the worst thing that could happen to him.

“Jes?” His dad looked worried. “Is something wrong?”

He realized he’d been standing in silence for several minutes, glaring at the floor. “Nothing. Except I think maybe he’s homophobic.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever. It’s just two weeks.”

Two weeks with a rich, homophobic genius. He could imagine worse things.

Except why did the rich, homophobic genius have to be so cute? That was the truly unfair part.

Jesper dropped his backpack and turned back toward the door. “I’ll be back later.”

“Where are you going?”

“Out.”

“Jes…”

“Don’t worry, I won’t do anything bad.”

The moment he was out the door, he headed toward his favorite illicit gambling spot, a little shack some of the other kids from school got together in for drinks and cards.

He’d lied to his dad. He intended to do as many bad things as he could. He intended to find as many card games, drinks, and one-night stands as it took to drive Wylan Van Eck from his thoughts.


	4. The Dregs

After several drinks, Jesper got out his phone and texted Kaz.

_I need a distraction._

The reply came within a few minutes. _You know the drug thing is just a front._

Jesper rolled his eyes. _Not that kind of distraction. The sexy kind._ He set his phone down and joined the latest card game for another hand. He was losing again.

Then he checked his messages. _When did you get suicidal?_

With a groan, Jesper folded and left the table. He hit on Kaz once, just once, and no one ever forgot it. _I’m not asking YOU._ _I need names._ He sent the reply and waited.

_You’re the only guy in school who literally has a “little black book.”_

Jesper got another drink. It was cheap beer, but it helped. _Need someone different. They’re not my type._

_I thought your type was “breathing.”_

Very funny. Kaz thought he’d have sex with anything that moved. So did most of the school. Including Wylan. Jesper put away his phone for a while until he’d had enough drinks to feel up to responding.

Finally, he sent Kaz an explanation. _My type is blond._

_What?_

_Blond._ He stared at the word for a moment, imagining those soft curls between his fingers, and then shook his head. _No. Red. Red-blond._

_You’re drunk, aren’t you?_

The hair wasn’t enough. _And smart._

_You’re drunk and smart tonight?_

Of course Kaz had to develop a sense of humor when Jesper in desperate need of assistance. Jesper gritted his teeth and managed to send another text. _He hates me._

_Who?_

Like it would help. Pouring out his heart to Kaz never worked. And Kaz couldn’t do anything about it, unless he procured someone smart and cute with red-gold hair who would say the right things when Jesper looked into his eyes.

#

If there was one positive thing about this whole mess, it was that Wylan’s father no longer objected to the tutoring. All it took was for Wylan to come out of school looking thoroughly miserable as he thought about gorgeous, charming Jesper calling him a weirdo, and his father commented on how being a tutor would be good for the Van Eck image.

Good to know nothing appealed to him more than Wylan’s unhappiness.

Wylan could barely concentrate during his classes the next day. All he could think about was Jesper.

It wasn’t the first time he’d had a crush. Wylan started noticing cute boys years ago, and he’d entertained brief thoughts of dating. Those fantasies were quickly destroyed, however, when he tried to approach the classmates in question. No one wanted him as a friend, let alone anything else. The more isolated he became, the easier it was to shut down any inconvenient feelings.

This was different. Jesper was forced to interact with him, and every glance and smile stirred Wylan’s hope again. But it was impossible. The older boy had no interest in him, and that would never change.

Wylan snapped out of his daze when he realized his Economics teacher was looking straight at him. “Yes?”

“I said, this is something you’ll be interested in. In a couple of weeks, there will be a ‘Young Entrepreneurs’ field trip. It’s an excellent opportunity for anyone who plans to go into business—like you, Van Eck.”

He forced a nod.

The teacher continued with an explanation of the trip and how they could request permission slips, and Wylan plastered a fake smile on his face. After all this time, it was easy. Of course he was going into business. Once he was an adult, he’d join his father in the company—that was what everyone believed.

What would actually happen when he graduated high school? His father made it clear someone who couldn’t read was incapable of helping with something so important. Would he be on his own at last?

Or would he simply be trotted out and put on display whenever his father needed the public to see him? Sometimes he feared that was the best he could hope for.

#

Wylan trudged into the cafeteria and looked around. He didn’t feel up to another afternoon like yesterday’s. He had to tell Jesper it was off, and then spend that hour alone in the library to try to get a grip on himself.

There they were, the infamous Dregs. Maybe the slender black-haired girl was Jesper’s girlfriend, or the brown-haired girl with a stack of waffles in front of her. Given his comments, maybe they both were. Wylan really didn’t want to know.

And so help him, if Jesper kissed a girl in front of him, he might make such a scene that he’d have to accept his father’s offer of isolated homeschooling.

He made it all the way to the table before he realized Jesper wasn’t there.

The pale boy at the end of the table drummed his gloved fingers against the edge and regarded Wylan with an expression that was somehow bored and threatening at the same time. “Do you need something?”

Oh no, everyone in school knew not to mess with Kaz Brekker. Did Jesper consider him a friend?

Wylan wet his lips. “I was looking for Jesper, I thought he sat with you, but I see he’s not here, so that’s okay, I’ll leave now.”

“He’s absent,” said the girl with the waffles. “I can text him if you like.”

Nina Zenik. She was one of the more popular students. Half the school wanted to date her. He definitely was out of place talking to people like this.

“No, no, that’s okay.” He shook his head and edged away from the table. “I just wanted to tell him I can’t make our tutoring session today, but if he’s not in school, it doesn’t matter.”

Suddenly they were all staring at him.

He swallowed hard. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“So you’re Wylan,” said the other girl. “The one who’s going to reform our Jesper.”

He opened his mouth to protest that he wasn’t going to reform anyone, but words failed him. He recognized her, too. Inej Ghafa. She was almost as scary as Kaz. Everyone said she could sneak up on someone without ever being heard, and no one knew much about her.

“I approve!” The largest boy at the table gave Wylan a firm nod. “It’s about time someone put Jesper back on the straight and narrow.”

Nina stabbed her fork into her waffles and shook her head. “Matthias, you think _everyone_ has strayed from the straight and narrow.”

“Most have.”

“You’re no fun.”

“I can have fun without things like that,” he said with a sullen pout.

Wylan eyed him curiously. Matthias Helvar. With his muscular build, he looked like he should be one of the popular kids… but rumor had it he was so serious and rule-abiding that his classmates made fun of him, even to his face despite his stature, because he rarely retaliated.

Strange to find someone like him with the Dregs.

Nina patted his arm. “You’re plenty fun, but you could lighten up a little.”

“Only for you,” he said in a morose tone.

Maybe it wasn’t so strange after all.

Matthias returned his gaze to Wylan. “Has Jesper been giving you trouble?”

“Oh no, not really.”

Nina laughed. “Liar. He hasn’t stopped complaining about you since he agreed to be tutored.”

Wylan’s shoulders slumped. As if it wasn’t bad enough Jesper acted the way he did during their sessions, he had to complain to other people too.

“Do you want to sit with us?” Inej asked.

He blinked. “What?”

“Even though Jesper isn’t here today, you could sit with us if you want.”

“Yeah,” Nina said. “Get back at him by giving us your side of the rant.”

“Sorry, I…” They probably knew he didn’t have any friends he normally sat with. Everyone in school seemed to know things like that. So instead of lying, he said, “I wouldn’t feel right complaining about Jesper behind his back.”

Nina grinned. “Want to do it right in front of him, huh?”

“I didn’t mean—”

“So we’ll see you again once he’s back? Looking forward to it.”

Doubtful.

“Don’t let Jesper get away with anything,” Matthias said with a frown. “You need to be firm with people like him.”

Wylan managed a weak smile. “I’m just his math tutor. That’s it.”

“There’s nothing more to it?” Nina asked.

“Of course not.”

“Really?”

“What did he tell you?” he asked, a little alarmed.

“Never mind.”

“Nina’s just messing with you,” Inej said. “But really, you’re welcome to join us.”

“I…”

He was running out of reasons to protest. In the back of his mind, he feared they’d mock or reject him if they got to know him, but it was hard to put that into words when faced with their invitation. Oddly, despite their fearsome reputation and the popularity of Jesper and Nina, the Dregs were kind of a band of misfits.

It was just that some of them were terrifying misfits. Unable to help it, he glanced at Kaz.

Kaz’s eyebrows twitched. “Something wrong?”

“Oh, no.” He looked away.

“You can sit down. I don’t steal souls until after midnight.”

Wylan laughed nervously. “Actually, I really should—”

“Sit.”

No one argued with Kaz Brekker when he used that tone of voice. Wylan sat.

Then Kaz just turned his attention back to his lunch as though he hadn’t ordered Wylan to join them.

Wylan watched him for a moment in case he had something to say, then shrugged and opened his lunchbox. He’d taken the seat across from Matthias, which put him as far from Kaz as he could get without making it obvious.

Nina broke the silence. “So what do you do when you’re not tormenting Jesper with math?”

He shrugged. “I play the flute.”

“Jesper says you’re rich.”

“I’d rather not talk about that.”

“He also said you yelled at him for playing cards.”

“I didn’t yell.”

Couldn’t they have a normal conversation? They all seemed fascinated by him. What in the world did Jesper tell them?

Inej cleared her throat. “Nina doesn’t mean to interrogate you. It’s just that we’ve been worried about him lately.”

 Wylan glanced at her. “Worried about Jesper?”

 “He’s been acting strangely.”

“I wouldn’t know.” He snorted. “Are rampant innuendos unusual for him?”

He wanted to forget, but whenever he thought about that teasing and his own stupid feelings, he wanted to punch Jesper’s face in.

Inej sighed. “Well no, that’s normal.”

“Then he’s acting perfectly fine.”

Matthias folded his arms. “Has Jesper made unsavory advances toward you?”

“Uh…” Wylan stared at him. “Doesn’t he have a girlfriend?”

Nina’s jaw dropped. “Did he say he did?”

“He implied it.”

“None of his trysts are serious relationships,” Matthias said, his disapproval so apparent Wylan almost wanted to apologize on Jesper’s behalf.

At least that confirmed it. There was no reason to take Jesper’s occasional flirting seriously, no matter how much he wanted to. On the other hand, it sounded like it wouldn’t be unusual for Jesper to flirt with a boy…

“He could do it if he wanted to,” Matthias said. “I do not understand him. He’d rather ignore his problems and—”

Kaz interrupted, his voice harsh. “If we’re going to tell Wylan all about Jesper’s personal life, why beat around the bush? Let’s tell him the complete truth: Jesper’s gambling has gone from a vice to an addiction and he’s not here today because he drank himself into a stupor last night.”

Shocked, Wylan stared at him.

“Well,” Inej said, “I was going to use more tact.”

Kaz snorted. “We don’t have time for tact. At the rate he’s going, he’ll drink himself into an early grave, and certain recent developments haven’t helped.”

“I don’t understand.” Wylan hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but once he did, he had no choice but to continue. “Jesper’s popular. He’s good-looking.” Oh God, he’d just admitted that in front of Jesper’s friends. He hurried on before they could dwell on it. “His father loves him and wants the best for him.” He had everything Wylan wanted. “So why…?”

Inej shot a glare in Kaz’s direction. “Now we’re really getting into his personal business.”

He shrugged. “Fine. You’ll have to get those answers from Jesper.”

Wylan sighed and looked down at the table. He and Jesper would never be close enough for him to ask, much less get an answer.

Their conversation returned to mundane matters, but he didn’t join in. He kept thinking about Jesper drinking so much he couldn’t go to school, struggling with a gambling addiction so bad the infamous Dregs were worried. He acted cool and casual, like he had everything under control, but maybe it wasn’t like that at all.

When the lunch period ended, Wylan trudged out of the cafeteria still lost in thought, only for a cane to stick out and block his path.

He looked at the cane and then up at Kaz.

“We need to talk alone.”

“Um.” No one in the hallway seemed inclined to help. He could scream, but the situation didn’t seem that dangerous yet.

Before he knew what was happening, Kaz backed him into a corner. “What do people say about me?”

“Um.” This sounded like a trick question. “It’s dangerous to cross you.”

Kaz’s cold smile did nothing to dispel his fears. “What happens to people who cross me?”

“They wish they never were born.” Anyone who dared cause trouble for Kaz swore he was some sort of demon.

“Good. You _are_ smart. And what do they say about my friends?”

“You don’t have friends, only people who are useful to you.”

Kaz chuckled, but there was no mirth in it. “I’ll let you in on a secret, Van Eck. I do have friends. Crossing them is like crossing me.” He lifted his cane and pressed the tip against Wylan’s throat. “Understand? If you hurt Jesper, you’ll wish you never were born.”

Then he pulled away and walked down the hallway, leaving Wylan shaken and confused behind him.


	5. Those Blue Eyes

Jesper’s head ached. He groaned. He barely remembered getting home last night, but he had a dim recollection of the intermingled fear and anger in his dad’s face.

Again. How many times would it take before he accepted he had a failure for a son and gave up on him?

Once Jesper managed to get up, he blinked at the clock. Middle of the afternoon already. He’d missed school. Wylan was probably in the library wondering what happened to him. Served him right. Annoying prick. He deserved to sit alone. Jesper could picture the confusion in his eyes. Those wide blue eyes...

He’d seen those eyes all evening long. Even once he found someone with blond curls and interest in Jesper, he kept wishing it was those eyes looking up at him instead.

That would never happen. The aggravating little prick didn’t like him and only cared about teaching him math. If Jesper never saw him again, it would be too soon.

Four messages were waiting on his phone. He felt a burst of guilt for his earlier thoughts when he remembered Wylan’s reason for not being able to exchange phone numbers—if it wasn’t an excuse—but the memory of Wylan’s horrified expression when he asked drove away his sympathy.

The first message was from Kaz. _Pull yourself together. This is pathetic._ Jerk. Sometimes he wondered why he still hung out with Kaz. Jesper deleted it.

The next was from Inej. _You okay, Jes? We’re all worried about you._

Then one from Matthias. _This sort of behavior is destructive._ Why had he given that guy his number in the first place?

And finally a message from Nina. _We had lunch with your boyfriend today._

Jesper sat straight up and rubbed his face to try to clear his head. His last long-term relationship was ages ago, and that had been with a girl, anyway. And there was no way the guy from last night would claim to be his boyfriend, even if he showed up at their school.

_Who?_ he sent in reply.

Then he set down his phone, closed his eyes, and wished he didn’t feel like he was on death’s door.

By the time he felt better he had a reply from Nina. _Wylan._

Oh no. No, no, no. He dialed Nina’s number as fast as he could.

“Hello?” she said.

“Nina? What do you mean you ate lunch with Wylan? You didn’t call him my boyfriend to his face, did you? Please say you didn't.”

“You leave us so worried about you, and that's all you have to say?"

"Nina!"

“Fine,” she said. “Wylan came by during lunch to say he couldn’t meet you for tutoring, so we invited him to eat with us.”

“Figures he wouldn’t have time for me.”

“I thought you didn’t _want_ to be tutored. Besides, you weren’t even there.”

“Never mind that,” he said. “What did you say to him?”

“Lots of things. Also, what in the world have you been telling him? He thought you had a girlfriend.”

Jesper’s heart skipped a beat. Maybe Wylan’s standoffishness was about that—but the way he’d reacted to his flirting remained. “Too bad I don’t.”

“Don’t give up on him,” Nina said. “He’s sweet.”

_Sweet_ was not the way to describe the little pest. “He’s annoying,” Jesper said. “And there’s nothing to give up on, because I wouldn’t date him even if he was interested.”

“Uh-huh.”

Jesper drove away the fantasy of those big blue eyes staring up at him as Wylan’s soft hands and mouth ran across his body. “Look, he’s just not my type.” Never mind what he'd said to Kaz while drunk.

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He’s so… _rich._ ”

“I thought you liked money,” she said with a laugh.

“That’s different. He’s not just quietly rich, he’s a Van Eck. I watched the other day after tutoring. He doesn’t walk home or take the bus or anything like that. Instead, his father drives up in this huge car. I’m surprised he doesn’t have a chauffeur.”

Amusement filled Nina’s voice. “You’ve been watching closely enough to know how he gets home from school, but you’re totally not interested in him.”

“No. I’m not.”

“Uh-huh, sure.”

“I’d sleep with him,” he said, in what he hoped was a casual tone, as if it didn’t really matter, “but that’s all.”

And Wylan would think it was disgusting.

Friday’s tutoring was going to be a nightmare.

#

To Jesper’s relief, Wylan didn’t join them for lunch on Friday, although he could have sworn he caught him glancing in their direction a few times. He was probably content sitting with his own friends—but why did it always look like the other students at the table with him weren’t talking to him?—and had no desire to repeat his adventure with the Dregs.

Or maybe it was because Jesper was there.

He almost managed to drive Wylan from his thoughts until the end of the day, but then there was nothing else but to brace himself and get it over with. He walked into the library.

Wylan wasn’t there.

Jesper stopped in confusion and looked around. Where was he?

Well, no one could blame him for skipping out if his tutor didn’t show up. This was the opportunity he’d been waiting for. So why did he feel disappointed?

The doors flew open and Wylan burst in. “Sorry! Sorry! I needed to get something from the Chemistry lab, but there’s this weird new rule now that you can’t enter while an experiment is in progress. Apparently some troublemaker caused a problem a few days ago.”

Jesper put his hands on his hips and leaned toward him. “Who are you calling a troublemaker?”

“That was you?” Wylan’s hands flew up to cover his mouth. “I’m sorry.”

The effect was so adorable that Jesper’s heart skipped a beat. And when he looked into Wylan’s eyes… oh no, it was definitely a bad idea to daydream about those eyes so much, because Wylan’s gaze made all the previous evening’s fantasies return in full force.

“Sorry,” Wylan said again as he walked to the table and sat down. “I didn’t mean to keep you waiting, especially since you weren’t here yesterday.”

To mask his reaction, Jesper fixed a casual smirk on his face and strolled after him. “Miss me?”

Wylan turned bright red. “What?”

Of course he didn’t. Jesper yanked out the chair across from him and sat. He kept his tone light. “Don’t worry, I understand. It’s hard to go too long without seeing this face.”

“I survived.”

“But you _did_ miss me.”

“Your friends were worried about you,” Wylan said.

Jesper laughed. “I’m sure Kaz was beside himself.”

“I’m serious.”

“Well I’m fine. Obviously.” He got out his math book. “So what will you demand of me today, oh great taskmaster?”

To his surprise, Wylan didn’t turn his attention to their lessons like he usually did. “Are you okay?”

“I missed one day of school. It’s not the end of the world.”

“I’m sorry.”

This was new. Wylan sounded like he’d worried about him. “Hey.” Jesper reached out and brushed his hand lightly with his knuckles. “Thanks for asking.”

Wylan looked up, cheeks pink, eyes wide and innocent…

…and Jesper’s mind stopped functioning.

The touch of soft skin together with a flushed Wylan staring up at him like that brought the previous evening’s fantasies down on his head like a waterfall. God, he couldn’t even pretend anymore. Every empty kiss, every futile attempt to fill the hollowness inside him—it was all with Wylan in mind.

Jesper yanked his hand back and clenched his jaw. _No._ It would lead to disaster. One sweet face shouldn’t be enough to ruin him.

That sweet face contorted into something close to murderous rage.

Right. Wylan was all kindness and concern until Jesper tried to flirt with him, and then his true colors came out. Jesper glared back at him. “What are you staring at?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ll bet.”

“Why are you mad at me?” Wylan asked. “I just wanted to make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine! Why do you keep asking?”

“Your friends said you missed school because you’d been drinking.”

They told him? Of all people, they told _Wylan_?

Jesper clenched his hand into a fist and slammed it on the table. “What I do with my time is none of your business.”

“I just—”

“ _Stay out of it._ ”

Wylan flinched and lowered his gaze. “Yes, sir.”

Puzzling though the reaction was, Jesper couldn’t bring himself to particularly care about why Wylan had just called him _sir._ How could his friends have done this to him? He’d spent hours complaining to them about how his tutor was a rich, homophobic brat... and so they went and told the brat what a wreck of a person he was?

Wylan wiped his eyes.

That did it. Jesper stood up. He was the one who had been betrayed and humiliated. He wouldn’t sit there and watch Wylan act like a victim. “I think we’re done here.”

“We haven’t gone over anything yet.”

Jesper snorted. “And we’re not going to. I’m leaving.” He picked up his backpack and turned to leave.

Wylan watched him with sad eyes. Alongside the sadness, there was… pity.

Pity for poor Jesper Fahey, the broken mess who got so drunk he couldn’t attend school the next day, who couldn’t learn math and refused to try.

With a scowl, he sat back down. “Fine.” He wouldn’t give Wylan the satisfaction of watching him back out. “I’ll stay. Let’s get this over with.”

At least it was Friday. Just one more week and he’d have fulfilled his promise. He could say goodbye to tutoring and Wylan Van Eck forever.

#

Jesper couldn’t take much more of this. “Look,” he said, “I understand the basics, okay? I just don’t get stuff like this.”

He tapped a word problem on the page, a lengthy paragraph that seemed worlds away from the formulas Wylan kept talking about. If he cooperated, maybe this would go easier. Better yet, maybe it would all miraculously fall into place and he could go home early.

Wylan shook his head. “Once you understand all the pieces, then you’ll see how it applies to that problem.”

“Come on, just explain it to me now,” Jesper said. “I want an example.”

“Let’s work on something else first.”

What the hell? He finally showed an interest in tutoring and tried to cooperate, and Wylan just brushed him off? Maybe he really did consider himself superior, after all.

Jesper scowled, in no mood for games. “What’s the point in having a tutor if you won’t help with the things I actually need help with?”

A hint of color rose to Wylan’s cheeks. “If you’d listen to what I’m trying to tell you, maybe you wouldn’t need help with those.”

“Then why not _show_ me how the damn word problem ties into this stuff?”

“That’s what I’m doing.”

“No you’re not!”

“Look,” Wylan said, his voice unusually high-pitched, “it’s not like word problems are magic. They make use of everything else we’re talking about.”

“ _How_?”

“They take these things and apply them to a real-life situation.”

“But I don’t see how it translates. Why can’t you just write it out for me so I see what these”—Jesper glanced at the problem—“railroad cars have to do with anything we’ve discussed?”

“It’s—I don’t—there’s not much to explain. It’s just the same thing, but with words!”

“Are you going to help me, or not?”

“You can figure it out.”

“No I _can’t_.” To Jesper’s horror, he realized he’d done the one thing he was determined not to do—show this stupid brat that he didn’t understand something and wanted help with it. And dammit, he let down his guard like that, and Wylan didn’t even help. After all his whining about wanting Jesper to study, too.

“It’s not magic,” Wylan said again.

What the hell was his problem?

“Fine!” Jesper jumped to his feet. Pity or not, he wasn’t going to stay here and feel like a fool. “Then go tell the teacher our tutoring is over because apparently I’m too stupid to get how it works!”

Wylan’s mouth opened, but nothing came out. His eyes widened. He looked as though he’d been punched. “I didn’t mean that,” he said, his voice so tremulous it sounded like he might pass out. “I didn’t… I didn’t…”

“You didn’t mean it? Too bad. It’s the truth, anyway. Go on and say it.”

Wylan gathered up all of his books and shoved them into his backpack with alarming speed. “I just remembered. I have to go. Home. I have to go home.”

“Wait.” Jesper hadn’t expected him to react this badly. “Wylan—”

The other boy was already on his way out of the library without a backward glance. Jesper stared after him. He’d gotten what he wanted, an excuse to leave tutoring early.

But it didn’t feel good at all.


	6. The Power of Cake

Wylan couldn’t bear to call his father to say he had to go home early, so instead he locked himself in a bathroom stall and sobbed. His breath came in choking gasps.

All he’d wanted to do was hide his inability to read from Jesper. He couldn’t help with the word problem because he couldn’t read it to know what it was about. But he should have asked Jesper to read it out loud, claimed it would help him analyze it or something. Instead, he’d refused and tried to make excuses, and… and…

And made Jesper feel stupid, the way Wylan’s father made _him_ feel stupid.

As much as he swore he’d never treat anyone that way, had he internalized his father’s harshness and taken it out on Jesper? He didn’t want that. He wanted to be a kind, understanding teacher who would help Jesper and encourage him.

Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this after all.

#

Wylan trudged into the mansion and headed for the stairs the moment his father let him out of the car, intending to hide in his room until he figured out if he really was like him deep inside.

“Wylan?”

His stepmother’s voice made him freeze mid-step.

Alys poked her head out from the parlor and beckoned him over. “You’ll help me pick colors, won’t you?”

“What?”

“Colors! For the baby’s room!” She disappeared back into the parlor. “Come on, I have a book of paint samples to pick from.”

Wylan stared at the door for a moment and then hurried in after her. “Wait, baby? You mean another pet, or a _baby_ baby?”

“A human baby, of course.”

“Oh.” He felt a little dazed. Alys sat on the couch with a book of paint samples open in front of her, and he sat alongside her. “I didn’t know you were going to have a baby.”

“But I just told you.”

“I mean before that.”

“Jan must have forgotten to tell you. You know how busy he is.”

“Congratulations,” Wylan said, a little too late, because all he could think about was whether his half-brother or sister would feel loved or if they’d have some flaw that would make his father despise them too.

“Thank you.” Alys beamed. “Jan was so happy when he found out!”

“I’ll bet.” A new child to be the heir he wouldn’t let Wylan be. But no one was flawless. This child might end up just as unloved.

“I’m thinking purple,” Alys said. “I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl yet, but purple covers just about everything, don’t you think?”

“Are you happy?” Wylan asked.

“With purple? As long as you think it looks nice. Do you think it will be good?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Oh? You don’t like purple?”

He sighed. “I’m not talking about the colors. I’m just asking if you’re happy, Alys.”

“Of course! I always wanted to have a baby.”

“So you’re happy here?” He’d worried about it ever since he got to know Alys and realized she was a kind person, if a bit silly. “You’re happy with my father?”

“I have everything I could ask for,” she said with another smile. “This is a beautiful house and there’s room for my pets and I’ve been doing so well in my music lessons, and now I’m going to have a baby!”

Wylan decided not to press the point any further.

“Are _you_ happy, Wylan?”

He jumped. That was a surprise coming from Alys, who normally seemed so wrapped up in her own world she barely knew what was going on around her. “I’m okay.”

“Is school going well? I think it’s so wonderful that you’re tutoring people.”

“It’s fine.”

“Your students aren’t mean to you, are they?”

“I only have one student,” he said, “and he’s all right. If anything, I was mean to him.”

Her eyes widened. “But you’re so sweet!”

Coming from someone who thought his father was a good husband, that didn't allay his worries. “I accidentally insulted him.”

“I’m sure he knows you didn’t mean it. You’re such a nice boy.”

Wylan sighed.

“I hurt Jan’s feelings the other day, and he’s already over it.”

He glanced up. This he had to hear. “What happened?”

Alys propped her chin in her hands and stuck her lip out in a pout. “All I did was show him a letter from your school I found in the garbage, but he said it sounded like I thought he’d throw mail away without reading it, and of course I know he wouldn’t be that careless.”

“A letter from my school?”

“Something about your English grades, but that doesn’t matter. I hurt his feelings, so I apologized and made him a cake. Now everything’s better.”

“I wonder what it was,” he said, mostly to himself, as unease flittered through his stomach.

“Chocolate.”

Wylan blinked. “What?”

“It was a chocolate cake,” she said.

“I meant the letter.”

“He read the letter.”

“I know. You told me.”

“Oh good, I’m glad I cleared that up.” She clapped her hands together. “Now about these colors, do you think purple would look good? Or is green better?”

Maybe this meandering conversation could help him after all. “They do say chocolate improves people’s moods.”

“For the baby’s room? No, I think purple or green is better.”

“I meant the cake,” Wylan said.

Alys pursed her lips. “I really think we should have the room ready before we plan the cake.”

“Not a cake for the baby, the cake you made for my father.”

“Oh yes! I sampled a piece myself. It’s delicious.”

“And it actually put him in a good mood?” he asked, unable to picture this working.

“I don’t know.”

“But you said—”

“I baked the cake and then went to talk to him, but he had already forgiven me, and so I never gave him the cake at all.”

Wylan straightened up. “Wait, then what are you going to do with the cake?”

“I put it in the refrigerator.”

“Could I have a piece?”

“Well, since Jan doesn’t need it, I don’t see why not.”

“Could I take a piece and save it for school tomorrow?”

She giggled. “I didn’t know you had such a sweet tooth. Taking cake to school?”

“Not for me,” he said, “for my friend, as an apology.”

“Oh, of course!”

“Thank you.” Wylan stood up and walked toward the door. Alys really was nice. It was a shame she had such awful taste in husbands.

“Thank you for all your help,” she said. “I’ll go with the purple.”

Wylan nodded and then hurried out of the room. He made it all the way to the kitchen before he realized he’d called Jesper his friend without even thinking about it.

#

Jesper was on his third can of beer when someone sat down next to him on the bench. He opened his mouth to say he didn’t want company—it was hard enough to buy beer with his fake ID, so if anyone looked too closely at him they might guess he wasn’t as old as he claimed—when he realized it was Inej.

He still didn’t want company. “Go away.”

“If I leave, you’re coming with me,” she said.

“No.” He turned away from her.

“This is how you’d rather spend your weekend?” she asked. “Drinking cheap beer alone on a park bench?”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“You used to at least socialize while you drank. And we were all getting together tonight, don’t you remember?”

“You’ll be fine without me.”

“We want you there, Jesper. We’re your friends.”

He laughed and finished his can, then tossed it on the ground and opened a new one. He’d bought a six-pack, but it wouldn’t be enough.

“Jesper—”

“I’ll clean it up, don’t worry.”

“I’m not worried about you littering,” she said. “I’m worried about why you laughed. Don’t you consider us your friends anymore?”

“Friends don’t betray each other.”

“What?”

Jesper turned to face her. The indignation that had been building up in him ever since Friday afternoon exploded. “You told Wylan about my drinking!”

Inej raised her eyebrows. “Now you suddenly care about your image?”

“You told Wylan,” he said again.

“Were you trying to make a good impression by keeping it a secret? He’d have found out eventually.”

“I don’t care because I _like_ him,” Jesper said, almost as offended by the implication as he was by the way Wylan’s smile kept drifting through his mind. “I don’t like him at all. I hate him! He’s a rich, selfish jerk. How could you tell someone like _that_ my problems?”

“A selfish jerk?” she asked. “That’s not the impression I got from him.”

“No?”

“He seemed shy, but nice.”

Jesper snorted. “That’s because I wasn’t there. The moment I look at him wrong, he goes off on me. He hates me.”

“I don’t believe that.”

“Well it’s true.” He drained his new can of beer. “He hates me and thinks I’m disgusting and stupid.”

“I really don’t believe that.”

“I asked him for help with math and he wouldn’t help and now he knows how stupid I am and he hates me.”

Inej groaned and pulled the remaining cans away before he could open a new one.

“Those’re mine,” he said.

She ignored his protest and held the beer out of reach. “So you embarrassed yourself in front of Wylan and _that’s_ why you’re getting drunk alone in the park?”

“He hates me.” Jesper grasped futilely at the cans. “And he ruined the one thing I was good at.”

Her eyebrows shot up again. “What?”

“I’m bad at school. Bad at gambling. Bad at not gambling.” And bad at getting his beer back from a friend determined to keep it away from him. He made another useless attempt to retrieve the cans. “But at least I was fun. And sexy.” He managed a smile, though it fell short of his usual ones. “That’s what they say. ‘That Jesper, he’s bad at everything, but at least he’s good at sex.’”

“No one says—”

“But now I don’t even have that!”

They stared at each other in silence for a few minutes. He tried again to grab his beer. Inej put it behind her back and shook her head. “You’re acting like this because… Wylan somehow ruined your sex life?”

Jesper gave up on ever getting his beer back and glared out at the park. “I can’t even kiss anymore.” He’d tried, too. Lots of times. “It’s all wrong. I want him.” And it was damn hard to pretend to enjoy it when his mind kept saying _but it’s not Wylan_ every time he saw the other person’s face. “It was the one thing I could do right, and now I’m no good at it.”

“You’re more than your sexual prowess, Jesper.”

“Sure.” He put his head in his hands. “I’ve failed at all sorts of things. I’m a general all-purpose failure.”

“Come on, let me take you home.”

“So my dad can see what a failure I am?”

“It’s better than leaving him to worry that you’re dead out here.”

That hurt. Jesper reluctantly got to his feet and wobbled.

Inej caught his arm. “This is about more than just Wylan, isn’t it? What’s going on?”

“Wylan hates me,” Jesper said, because it was a lot easier to dwell on that annoying, irritating, _adorable_ little sweetheart than to think about how his future was a dead end.

Inej squeezed his shoulder. “You’ll get over him.”

“No I won’t.”

“And don’t give up on him yet. Give him a chance.”

“He deserves better than me anyway,” Jesper said.

“You’re a good person.”

Lies. But Jesper let Inej escort him home.


	7. Denial

Wylan kept the piece of cake safely in his lunch box until he entered the cafeteria. Then he waited until Jesper sat down, took a deep breath, and walked to the Dregs' table. “Hey.”

Everyone looked up.

He blushed and held out the cake to Jesper. “This is for you.”

Jesper stared at him.

“Oooh.” Nina looked like she could barely contain herself. “Take the cake, Jesper, don’t be rude.”

He took it, but continued to stare.

Wylan glanced away. “I, um… I know I hurt your feelings on Friday. I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean it the way it sounded at all. I just—I’m sorry.” He turned to leave.

Jesper’s hands snaked out and caught him by the waist. “Hey now.”

The feel of his hands made Wylan’s knees buckle. He lost balance and toppled into Jesper’s lap. Heat rose to his cheeks as he looked up into Jesper’s face, too close for him to think about anything but what kissing him would feel like. And the grip at his waist was perfect, the exact right amount of pressure for him to imagine those hands exploring the rest of his body.

“Getting pretty fresh, aren’t you?” Jesper asked with a grin.

Wylan scrambled off of him and managed to land in the seat beside him. He did his best to look casual, as though he’d intended to eat with them the entire time.

Jesper chuckled. “Seriously, you brought me cake just because you insulted me?”

“I wanted to make it up to you.” Wylan met his gaze despite his embarrassment and hoped Jesper would see in his eyes that he never meant to imply he was stupid. “I felt bad.”

“Aw, well…” Jesper looked away, but then glanced back with a sly edge to his voice. “Hey, so this means that all I need to do to get free cake is act like I’m insulted?”

Wylan narrowed his eyes. “You wouldn’t pretend just to get cake, would you?”

“Maybe.”

That actually gave him a good idea. “Do you like cake that much?” The one Alys made wouldn’t last much longer, but he could probably learn how to bake. “Never mind more apology cake. I could bring you cake if you do all your homework.”

Jesper drew himself up. “Are you seriously implying I need to be bribed with sweets to do my homework? I’m not a child!”

Kaz snorted.

“I heard that.” Jesper shot a glare in his direction, then turned back to Wylan. “I don’t need to be bribed.”

“So you’re going to do your homework tonight?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“But if you’d be rewarded with cake…”

“Enough with the cake!”

Wylan raised his eyebrows. “So if I promised you cake if you did your homework, you still wouldn’t do it?”

“That’s right.”

“I’d eat the cake myself. Right in front of you.”

“You’re cruel,” Jesper said.

“Then it’s a deal?”

“No! Stop trying to bribe me with cake!”

“Well nothing else has worked.”

Suddenly Jesper leaned toward him until their faces were inches apart. “I’m almost a grown man. Sweets aren’t going to do it.” His low purr made it difficult to breathe. “I need to be bribed with… other things.” His gaze flitted across Wylan’s body.

Wylan felt lightheaded. He was on fire. The world was closing in around him until it was just him and Jesper, far too close. He’d forgotten how to speak.

Jesper wanted him? Or was he joking?

No one ever asked Wylan out before, let alone the hottest guy he’d ever seen. Wylan stared at him and tried to form words. But what should those words be? Yes, yes, _yes_? But he didn’t want to trade himself for Jesper’s good behavior.

Unless it was his way of flirting. But Wylan didn’t want to be just a fun night for him, either.

He could ask for more.

Except if Jesper didn’t want it, he’d sound like a fool. This was Jesper, who bragged about getting laid. He wouldn’t—he _couldn’t_ —mean more by this. Not with Wylan. He’d pick a thousand people over Wylan.

Jesper returned to his own space with a laugh, and the spell broke.

He was laughing. _Laughing._ The whole thing was a joke to him. Wylan glared at him and wondered if it would be considered justifiable to punch him in exchange for the pain he felt inside.

“Sorry.” Jesper smirked. “Did I offend your sense of propriety?”

So it was all a game to make him uncomfortable. Wylan felt like he might cry, especially since he’d been so close to humiliating himself by flirting back. He grabbed his lunch and stood. “Fine. Don’t do your homework. I don’t care.”

It sounded stupid, but he didn’t know what else to say. His heart ached.

Worse, the others had all witnessed it. Nina, Matthias, Inej, and even Kaz watched the two of them with rapt attention. At least they weren’t laughing.

Jesper shoved the cake toward him. “Here, take this back with you.”

“Keep it,” Wylan said.

“I don’t want it.”

On top of everything else, that stung. “Don’t you accept my apology?”

“What, you think you can insult me and then make it all better with a treat? Like I said, I’m not a kid.”

“I just thought… it might help.”

“Well guess again,” Jesper said. “Your father might be able to buy people with money, but you can’t buy friendship.”

After all that, after teasing him and laughing at him, he had to compare Wylan to his father, too? Wylan’s hands clenched into fists. He wasn’t trying to buy Jesper’s friendship. He didn’t _want_ a friend he had to buy.

And he didn’t want a friend who mocked his well-intentioned gift, either.

Wylan snatched the cake from the table. “Fine.” He stormed to the garbage can, threw the cake in with such force that other students turned to stare, and raced from the cafeteria.

He didn’t want to see Jesper Fahey ever again.

#

Silence hung over the Dregs’ table after Wylan’s dramatic departure.

Jesper stared down at his hands. He really needed to stop flirting with the brat. That shell-shocked look was the best reaction he could expect, and even once he tried to laugh it off as a joke, it clearly destroyed whatever goodwill Wylan had for him when he approached the table.

Maybe he’d overreacted. He glanced at the garbage can. Wylan’s apology sounded genuine, and he seemed pretty upset about it being rejected.

But no. He acted like Jesper was a child to be bribed into doing his homework, made it seem like Jesper’s refusal to do his homework was a problem to be fixed, and freaked out over the flirting. He deserved everything he got.

If only Jesper could stop thinking about him.

Nina finally broke the silence. “Jesper, what the hell was that?”

“That was me trying to flirt with a rich homophobic brat. I should have known better.”

“You’re such an idiot,” she said.

“I know.”

“Not because you flirted with him, because you—” She shook her head. “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“You saw it,” he said. “He got all panicky and weird when I teased him.”

“Jesper,” Inej said, her voice quiet, “are you sure he wasn’t upset because you started laughing at him?”

“No.” He propped his chin in his hands. “He reacts like that every time. Even when I don’t laugh. He freaks out the moment I flirt at all.”

Matthias cleared his throat. “Must you make it sound so unsavory?”

“Excuse me?”

“You implied you would trade homework for sexual activities.”

“Yeah,” Jesper said. “That was the joke.”

“Is that how you always flirt with him, like you want a casual fling?” Matthias frowned after the word _fling_ like the very idea made him want to lecture them on morality.

“I—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kaz said.

Jesper glanced at him. He rarely interrupted conversations about personal issues.

“If that’s what Jesper said, that’s what he wants.” Kaz leaned back in his chair with a shrug. “He isn’t stupid enough to pretend he wants something casual when he wants something serious.”

“That’s right.” Jesper nodded, grateful for some support at last. “Wylan’s cute, but that’s all. It’s nothing.” Those blue eyes haunted his dreams, but it was just a phase, a _phase_ , and the sooner he got over it, the better. “And he’s not interested, so let it go.”

To his relief, they did. Conversation returned to normal matters. He ate in peace, although he couldn’t quite banish the image of Wylan’s distraught face from his mind.

#

Wylan felt sick. It had been a stupid idea to bring cake for Jesper, and an even stupider idea to hope he liked him.

And yet…

Despite his attempts to calm down as he stood in the hall, he kept thinking about the way Jesper’s hands felt on his waist, and the way Jesper’s voice heated while teasing him. Why did he _do_ things like that if he wasn’t interested?

Well if he was waiting for Wylan to flirt back so he could make fun of him, he had a surprise coming. He’d never do that, not with someone who considered it a joke.

Not that he entirely hated Jesper’s attention. Embarrassing though it was to admit, part of him enjoyed being flirted with, even if it wasn’t serious. For those brief moments, he could at least pretend.

Jesper wasn’t always nasty toward him, either. Sometimes he was nice. Even funny.

He took a deep breath. It was probably an overreaction to explode the way he did. Jesper probably didn’t mean to hurt him that badly—he might even wonder why Wylan was so over-sensitive he couldn’t handle a little laughter.

This crush was becoming increasingly inconvenient. Once he calmed down, he’d head back and apologize for the cake misunderstanding. Maybe they could at least become friends. 

#

When lunch ended and Jesper walked into the hallway, Matthias caught his arm. “I think you’re in denial.”

“That’s your problem.” He walked faster.

Matthias kept pace with him. “The way you talk about him reminds me of the way I spoke of Nina when I thought she hated me.”

“You and I are leagues apart, okay?”

He meant it as an insult, but part of his mind whispered that even though Matthias was a stick-in-the-mud, at least he had his life together. He had a future. He had Nina.

Jesper had nothing.

“You can say that,” Matthias said, “but your eyes say something different when you look at him.”

“You’re seeing things.”

“Maybe. But if I’m not, why don’t you ask him gently? Wait until you’re alone, and then remove your mask.”

“What mask?”

“This mask of a man who doesn’t care about anything except having fun.”

“Maybe I don’t,” Jesper said. “Maybe that’s who I really am, not a mask.”

“But if you love him—”

“Love? Who said anything about love?” Jesper stopped walking and glared at Matthias. “Would you quit it with this nonsense? I don’t want anything serious, I don’t want to settle down, I don’t want love, and even if I did, Wylan Van Eck is the last person on the _planet_ I’d want to be with!”

The sudden silence afterwards made Jesper realize he’d just shouted all of that.

Kaz stepped up alongside them and shook his head. “I take back everything I said. You really are that stupid.”

Jesper frowned.

A slight tilt of his head was all the other boy gave in response.

Jesper’s stomach dropped. He followed Kaz’s gaze across the hall, toward the absolute last person he wanted to see right then.

Wylan met his gaze for just a second—and those blue eyes were wide with hurt—and then turned away and ran, not just down the hall, but out of the school itself.


	8. Starting Over

Wylan lay on his bed and sobbed. He couldn't bring himself to do anything, not just because of the bruises he earned when he arrived home from school early, but because of the numb, hollow feeling whenever he thought about what Jesper said.

Jesper hated him.

Rejecting his apology was bad enough, but it went so much deeper.

He hated him. Despised him.

The person Wylan wanted to be with didn’t even like him as a friend.

He’d started to see Jesper as an escape. The flirting, even in jest, made him feel alive. But it meant nothing.

He didn’t have an escape.

This house, where his father controlled him, was all he’d ever have.

Sometimes Wylan wondered why he woke up in the morning.

#

Jesper sat alone in his room and took a deep breath. This was by far one of the stupidest things he’d ever done.

But he’d been racking up stupid actions pretty quickly, and hopefully this one was at least less stupid than what he’d done earlier that afternoon. He couldn’t get the image out of his head—Wylan staring at him with such _pain_ in his eyes.

So he got out his phone with a silent prayer that the phone number Kaz obtained for him was accurate. God, this would be so much easier if he had Wylan’s cell phone number. What he’d said about his call history being monitored didn’t bode well for this call, either.

Jesper braced himself and dialed.

It didn’t take long for someone to answer. “Hello?”

“Hi, can I talk to Wylan?”

Dead silence on the other end.

“This is the Van Eck residence, right?”

“Who is this?” the voice on the other end asked.

Jesper took another breath to calm himself. He’d hoped they had servants to answer the phone, but he had the distinct impression he was talking to Wylan’s father, Jan Van Eck. Great. Because this day wasn't bad enough already.

“My name is Jesper,” he said. “I’m from Wylan’s school.”

“Wylan cannot come to the phone right now. Goodbye.”

“Wait!” He clutched the phone, unwilling to give up if there was any chance at all. “I need to talk to him. It’s important. He’s been tutoring me.”

“If you’re wondering why he was not there for you today, it’s because he neglected his responsibilities and skipped his afternoon classes.”

Jesper swallowed. “No, it’s not about that. I need to ask him something.”

Silence.

His heartbeat was probably loud enough to be heard on the other end. “It’s about my homework.” He hoped he was a good enough liar to make it sound believable. “I have a question for him.”

“He’ll be in school tomorrow.” Van Eck’s icy tone carried an unspoken _or else._ “You can ask him then.”

And let Wylan spend the entire night  thinking Jesper hated him, feeling pain so strong it made him flee the school? Not a chance. “I need to know ahead of tomorrow, so I can be prepared.”

Silence.

“Are you trying to hinder my studies, Mr. Van Eck?” This was insane, he was insane to try this. “I’m only doing what’s best for my education. I’m certain someone of your status understands the importance of education.”

“Indeed.” Van Eck sounded like he didn’t believe a word of it. “I’ll put him on the phone. You have five minutes.”

Five minutes? Was this punishment because Wylan left school, or was he always kept under such strict control? The walls around Jesper’s heart crumbled a little. Maybe he’d been too harsh on Wylan.

Indistinct conversation on the other end made him hold his breath.

“Hello?”

The walls crumbled further. Wylan’s voice sounded tiny and scared. Jesper wanted to turn back time and undo all the hurt he caused.

But he couldn’t, so he prayed what he could do would be enough. “Hey, it’s me. Jesper.”

“What do you need?”

“Can you talk freely right now?” Jesper asked. “Because I told your father I had an urgent tutoring question.”

“Let me look that up in my notes.”

Right. So Van Eck was listening and he had to pretend this was about tutoring. That made things more difficult.

“I’ve found it,” Wylan said.

“But it’s safe for me to talk?” If Van Eck was listening in on another line, no way was Jesper going to say what he had in mind.

“Yes.”

“Okay. You just say whatever you have to.” He let out a long breath. “I’m really sorry about what happened today. I didn’t mean what I said.”

“I’m not sure about that one,” Wylan said stiffly. “Let me check.”

“I know I’m a mess.” Jesper rubbed his face. “When I feel like I’m going to be hurt, I get defensive. Sometimes I say things I don’t mean. You know how it is, right? Oh, and I’m sorry about the cake.”

“Tell me how you solved the problem.”

This was the weirdest conversation. He hoped he was interpreting Wylan’s coded cues the right way. “Matthias was trying to convince me to… Well, that doesn’t matter. The point is, he thought you and I could be… friends. And I’d like that. A lot. I only said that stuff because I thought you hated me, and I couldn't admit I wanted to be friends with someone who hated me.”

“That’s all wrong. How did you even get that answer?”

“Kaz is right,” Jesper said. “I’m pretty stupid sometimes.”

“You’re not stupid.”

“Then can you forgive me? For the stupid things I’ve done? Can we start over?”

“All right.” Wylan’s tone softened. “I’ll get everything ready so we can go over this tomorrow.”

Jesper exhaled. “Thank you.”

“Goodbye.”

He didn’t want to hang up. He wanted to stay on the phone with Wylan forever. But that might cause him problems. “Bye. See you tomorrow.”

For once, maybe things were finally going right.

#

Tuesday morning passed in agony. Jesper barely paid attention to any of his classes, even less than usual. When lunchtime came, he raced to the cafeteria to find Wylan.

There he sat with his boxed lunch, somehow by himself even though classmates sat alongside him. The seat across from him remained empty. Even without that, the way they took their seats and spoke to each other made it clear he was excluded.

Jesper took a deep breath and slid into the empty chair. “Hey.”

Wylan met his gaze. “Hi.”

He looked so _huggable_. Jesper took a breath to calm himself down. None of that. He’d made a vow. He’d messed up enough already. From then on, things would be on Wylan’s terms. No flirting, no teasing, no trying to make him blush. He’d see if he could win this gorgeous pest as a friend, if nothing else.

“It’s okay,” Wylan said, before he could say anything more.

“No it’s not.” Jesper sighed. “I’ve been taking out my frustration on you. I know you weren’t trying to buy my friendship. I was just upset.” It didn’t help that he wanted Wylan so badly and couldn’t have him. “I guess I’m jealous. I’m sorry.”

“You’re jealous of me?”

“Why not? You’re smart and rich, and you actually do well in your classes.”

“But you’re popular,” Wylan said.

Jesper snorted. “Yeah, I’m popular because I’m a real fun guy. You know how far that’s going to get me once high school is over?”

Not far at all. He could work on the farm, but if something went wrong and that didn’t work out, he’d end up being nobody. Probably gamble away what little money he earned, too.

And he’d be all alone, because no one would have the patience to put up with that for long. He was popular, but no one wanted to date him. He was the playboy people had fun with, not the guy someone settled down with.

“You could do better,” Wylan said.

Jesper forced a smile. “Back to trying to cajole me into doing my homework already, huh?”

“Why not? Aren’t you interested in learning?”

“Not really.”

Wylan looked disappointed, which made his heart hurt a little. “Then do it for your future.”

“It won’t do any good.”

“Yes it will. You’re smart.”

Easy for Wylan to say that. Math came effortlessly for him. He never spent hours staring at the page, waiting for the formulas to stop looking like gobbledygook.

“You know,” Wylan said, “sometimes I’m jealous of you, too.”

Jesper’s head snapped up. “What? Why?”

“You have friends who support you and a family that cares about you.”

“It’s just me and my dad,” he said. “My mom died years ago.”

“So did mine,” Wylan whispered.

Jesper looked at him and thought about Jan Van Eck’s cold demeanor on the telephone. It wasn’t all because Wylan left school early. That was clear. Despite all Wylan had, he envied Jesper’s home life.

“You said your dad’s a farmer, didn’t you?” Wylan asked. “What’s life like on a farm?”

That was a surprise. No one ever asked about the farm. Admittedly, being a farmer wasn’t quite a part of the cool image Jesper tried to project, so he didn’t volunteer information, either.

But looking into Wylan’s open, curious gaze, it suddenly felt right to discuss it.

“Well there’s a lot of work,” Jesper said with a grin, and he opened his mouth to make a joke about how Wylan’s soft pampered hands wouldn’t be up to it—but suddenly he wanted to hold those hands and kiss them. He cleared his throat. “Um… So yeah, my dad always gets up really early…”

#

Everything felt different when Wylan waited for Jesper after school. When he stepped into the library and their gazes met, there was still that dizzying moment of confusion—because how could Wylan’s heart not skip a beat when someone so hot strolled toward him with his full attention fixed on him?—but he didn’t feel like they were enemies anymore.

And even though he was sore from how his father had hit him after learning he left school early, having things better with Jesper made everything okay.

Jesper flopped into his seat. “Ready to hear more about the farm?”

“I’d rather hear about today’s math class.”

“You sure? Farm stories are more fun.”

“Math stories are more important.”

He lifted his hands and shook his head. “It was worth a try.”

Wylan laughed. “Come on, quit stalling.”

They went over the lesson together, and Jesper actually put in an effort without too much complaining. He also complied every time Wylan asked him to read one of the word problems out loud—to help him analyze it and understand its meaning, a much smoother excuse—although he did seem puzzled by it.

“Are you sure reading it out loud is going to help me?” he asked.

“Positive.”

“It hasn’t so far.”

This was heading into dangerous territory. “Trust me.”

Jesper frowned. “Is there something else—”

Too far! “By the way,” Wylan said, desperate for any sort of distraction, “there’s something I need to ask you.”

Worry replaced the suspicion on his face. “What is it?”

“Have you still been drinking and gambling?”

“Man, you just can’t keep yourself from prying into my business, can you?”

Better to annoy him than let him find out the truth. Wylan struggled to keep his voice steady. “I don’t want you to do it anymore. I want you to focus on your homework.”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “Homework, homework, it’s always homework with you!”

“Tomorrow I want you to come in with your homework completed.”

“For cake?”

“No. Just for me.” Their conversation about different types of bribery flashed through Wylan’s mind, and blushed. “I mean—”

But Jesper’s gentle smile didn’t contain any hints of suggestiveness. “I’ll give it a try. For you.”


	9. Wylan's Secret

There was something strange about Wylan Van Eck.

“Which part of the problem are you having trouble with?” Wylan asked, as they went over Jesper's homework on Wednesday.

“The last part.”

“Read it to me again.”

Jesper rolled his eyes. “Do I really have to read it out loud every time?”

“ _Yes._ ”

There it was. An odd fury in Wylan’s voice.

“I don’t get why you think this will help me,” Jesper said.

“Sorry.” Wylan glanced away. “Maybe we should quit early.”

Jesper stared at him. “Quit early? Who are you and what have you done with Wylan Van Calculus?”

“Did you just call me Wylan Van _Calculus_?”

“Yeah.” Jesper grinned. “I think it suits you. You’re so much more of a Van Calculus than a Van Eck.”

Wylan rolled his eyes.

“So, Master Van Calculus, what’s up?”

The other boy swatted his arm. “Quit calling me that.”

“Only if you answer the question.”

“I’m just not feeling good.”

Practicality told Jesper to let it go and enjoy the rest of his afternoon, but this all felt connected to whatever made Wylan act weird. The last time, they had a shouting match. This time, it seemed like he was trying to escape before that could repeat. And with Jesper’s new determination to win Wylan over, he couldn’t leave it at that.

So as the other boy rose from the table and grabbed his backpack, Jesper touched his shoulder. “Wylan—”

Wylan jumped and the backpack toppled. His books spilled out onto the floor.

He dropped to pick them up, and Jesper scrambled after him.

“Here, let me get those. It’s my fault.”

“No, I—I shouldn’t be so jumpy. Don’t worry about it.”

They shoved the books and folders back into his backpack and stood. For a long moment, they stared at each other.

Wylan turned toward the door. “I should go. I’m sorry.”

“Are you okay?” Jesper started after him, but spotted a paper they’d missed on the ground. “Hey! You forgot this.”

He grabbed it and chased after his tutor. As soon as they were level again, he held it out. Without really meaning to, he glanced at it. It looked like an essay question from an English class, but it was marked with a huge red F and the spot for Wylan’s answer was blank except for a couple short sentences.

Wylan snatched it. “Do you mind?”

“Sorry,” Jesper said. “It’s good to see, though.”

“What?”

“You know, that you’re human like the rest of us. Even you skip your homework sometimes.”

Wylan slammed the page into his backpack with such force, it crumpled and tore. He didn’t seem to care.

Hopefully that wasn’t what Wylan would do to Jesper’s face if he kept talking. The pieces had finally locked into place, but how could he ask? What was the best way to say it without insulting him?

“Do you…” The direct approach was best. Wylan had sat through his frustrations with math, after all. “Do you have trouble reading?”

The blood drained from Wylan's face. “What? No. No, of course not. I don’t know why you think—I mean, there’s no reason to—I really, really have to go.”

He tried to flee, but Jesper caught his arm. “Don’t be embarrassed. God knows I’m not the world’s greatest student.”

Wylan stared at him with wide eyes, not embarrassed so much as… afraid?

“I’m sorry for prying,” Jesper said. “But if that’s why you’re upset about the word problems, it’s okay. I’ll read them.”

“Please don’t tell anyone.”

He blinked. “What?”

“I mean it.” Wylan stepped closer, his gaze desperate and panicked. “Don’t tell anyone. _Please_. I’ll do anything, anything at all, just _please_ don’t tell anyone.”

“Hey now.” Jesper smirked and ran his thumb across Wylan’s cheek. “It’s dangerous to promise people you’ll do ‘anything.’” Maybe it was the wrong thing to say, but he preferred Angry Wylan to this.

Wylan’s face reddened. “I… I mean it. Anything, Jesper. Anything, as long as you swear not to tell.”

“Whoa.” Jesper put his hands on Wylan’s shoulders. “Come on, do I really seem like the kind of guy who would gossip about you? Have I ever done anything to hurt you?” Their arguments flashed through his mind. “I mean, outside of when we’re both snapping at each other?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. Just please don’t tell, please.” Wylan’s eyes filled with tears. “My father might kill me if anyone finds out, so _please_  promise you won’t say anything.”

Jesper’s stomach lurched. He sometimes jokingly said his dad would kill him, but the tone of Wylan’s voice together with the terror in his face gave him the sickening feeling that he didn’t mean it the same way.

What the hell? He always assumed Jan Van Eck was an asshole, but in that ‘he’s a rich guy who owns most of the town and looks down on poor commoners’ sort of way. Someone who would spoil his son, not threaten him.

“Jesper, please!”

The distress in Wylan’s voice pulled him from his horror, and Jesper gave his shoulders a comforting squeeze. “I promise.”

Wylan sagged against him.

Jesper had promised to stop entertaining thoughts of touching Wylan or holding him, but that was an easy promise to make when he was alone at home, not so much with a scared Wylan already practically in his arms.

He compromised and let his hands slide to Wylan’s back, where he moved them in reassuring circles. “It’s all right.”

“I’m sorry.” Wylan pulled away and wiped his eyes. “Thank you for promising.”

“Of course.” He hesitated. “And now that I know, if you need someone to talk to… I mean, it must be rough not being able to talk to anyone about it, right? You can talk to me.”

Wylan gave him a tiny smile. “I’d like that.”

“We still have a lot of time. What do you say we skip out, get ice cream or something, and just relax?”

His smile faded. “If my father found out I left the school… I’m sorry, I can’t.”

Jesper considered that for a moment. “Then how about we go to the cafeteria, and I’ll bring ice cream back for both of us?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Wylan rubbed his eyes again and nodded. “Okay. Thank you.”

“Let’s go.” And as they walked out of the library together, it took all of Jesper’s willpower not to wrap his arm around Wylan’s shoulders.

#

Jesper walked back into the cafeteria with two ice cream cones in his hands and a prickle of doubt in his heart. Wylan might be gone by the time he got back. But when he entered the cafeteria, Wylan sat at a table all alone, waiting for him.

“Chocolate or vanilla?” Jesper asked when he reached him.

The other boy shook his head. “You can pick.”

Jesper smirked, but managed to force down all his intended comments about Wylan licking ice cream cones. This treat was supposed to cheer Wylan up, not make him uncomfortable.

He handed over the chocolate ice cream cone without comment.

“Thank you.”

“No problem.” Jesper settled into the seat across from him. “You feeling better?”

“A little.”

“So what is it, anyway?” Mindful of the public area they were in and Wylan’s earlier panic, he didn’t mention the issue by name. “Why doesn’t he want you to tell?”

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut. “He doesn’t want anyone to know that the Van Eck family produced an heir too stupid to do something so simple.”

“But you’re not stupid!”

His eyes opened, but he didn’t say anything.

“You’re not,” Jesper said again. Calling Wylan stupid was such a baffling thought he could barely comprehend it. Annoying, maybe. Stupid, definitely not. “If he thinks you are, then _he’s_ an idiot.”

Wylan glanced away. “Thanks.” He didn’t sound like he believed it.

Jesper didn’t know how to handle this. He turned his attention to his ice cream while he thought. This was such a bizarre situation. Despite their arguments, he liked Wylan. Seeing him so scared shocked him, and hearing him call himself stupid was worse.

And Van Eck was behind this? Jesper tried to imagine what it would be like if _his_ dad put him down instead of encouraging him. Even though Jesper called himself a failure, his dad never agreed. He always urged him to do better and told him he loved him.

Jesper took a long lick of his ice cream and searched for the words to comfort someone used to the opposite.

“Do you have to do that?”

He lifted his head. “Do what?”

“Eat your ice cream like… like…”

This was more like it. Much easier to deal with. Jesper snickered and took a deliberate lick of his ice cream. “Like what?”

“Can’t you eat it like a normal person?”

“I am. Not my fault your mind goes to the gutter whenever you see me.”

Wylan scowled.

Great, he’d done it again. Maybe he shouldn’t have teased. But if Wylan was so touchy that he thought Jesper was hitting on him just by eating ice cream…

Then again, he hadn’t left. Instead, his scowl faded and he started eating his ice cream. He even offered an apologetic shrug. So... he wasn't angry? Jesper eyed him, trying to figure him out.

The other boy’s tongue darted out and lapped up chocolate ice cream, and Jesper broke into a cold sweat. This was the universe getting revenge, or maybe some sort of karmic retribution.

Wylan closed his eyes in obvious enjoyment. “Mmm. This is good.”

Jesper swallowed hard. It was just ice cream, but his thoughts strayed and he couldn’t help but wonder if Wylan would make that same satisfied sound with his mouth on him.

He stared down at the table. Just ice cream just ice cream just ice cream—

“Mmm…”

Jesper glanced up in time to see Wylan’s tongue slide across the ice cream again. No, no, no. He took a deep breath to try to concentrate—but another soft sound from across the table broke him.

“Now you’re doing it,” he said, his voice hoarse.

Wylan blinked at him.

Those beautiful innocent eyes, just like in his fantasies, _no._ “Stop that!”

“Stop what?”

“Licking your ice cream like that and going _mmm_!”

Wylan turned scarlet, but burst out laughing. “Whose mind is in the gutter now?”

“My mind is way past the gutter.”

“Well don’t blame me. I’m just enjoying my ice cream.” And he returned to his cruel ice cream licking as though Jesper hadn’t said a word, his flushed cheeks the only indication of the conversation.

Two could play at that game. Forget not making him uncomfortable, all bets were off. Jesper stared at him until Wylan met his gaze with an inquisitive tilt of his head, and then he took a long, slow lick of his ice cream without breaking eye contact. He made sure to lick his lips afterwards and offer a lazy smirk.

Pink-cheeked, Wylan placed the tip of his ice cream in his mouth in such a way he _had_ to know was suggestive. He licked at it for a moment, while Jesper’s body heated—

—and then he savagely bit off a mouthful of ice cream.

Jesper flinched. “Ouch! You’re cruel!”

“What?” Wylan gave him an innocent smile. “I’m just eating my ice cream. What were you thinking about?”

“Nothing now!” He shuddered and tried to banish the image of Wylan’s bite.

“Your ice cream is melting.”

Jesper returned to eating his ice cream, determined to finish it before it melted all over the table, but he didn’t play any more games and he didn’t dare look at Wylan. When he finally finished, he risked a glance up in time to see Wylan daintily eating the last of his cone with only a tiny amount of chocolate on his hands.

Brat. Jesper’s hands were a mess. He grabbed some napkins and cleaned himself up as best as he could.

“How do I look?” he asked with a wink, in a vain attempt to get the upper hand in the situation again.

“You’ve still got a little on your face,” Wylan said.

Jesper took another napkin and wiped his face. “Better?”

“You missed it.”

“Where?”

Wylan leaned across the table and touched Jesper’s cheek. “Right here.” His gentle fingers made Jesper’s heart race, and when he pulled them back with a bit of ice cream on them, the contact ended far too soon.

Before he knew what he was doing, Jesper reached out and grabbed Wylan’s wrist. “Not so fast. That’s my ice cream.”

“What?”

Jesper licked the drops from Wylan’s fingers and sucked the tips lightly. Wylan stared into his eyes, a deep blush rising to his cheeks, and Jesper wanted to stop time so he could remain in this moment forever.

“W-Well…” Wylan pulled back his hand and stood. He looked a little wobbly. “I think our time is about up. Thank you for the ice cream.”

He was right. The clock on the wall said it was already after four. Jesper stood and grinned. “Any time.”

This changed everything. Jesper felt dizzy. Maybe he'd hallucinated the entire afternoon. Or maybe he’d been all wrong about Wylan being homophobic. Not only hadn’t Wylan gotten angry when he started teasing, he joined in.

Wylan glanced over his shoulder. “Remember, you can’t tell _anyone_.”

For a moment, Jesper thought he meant their ice cream innuendoes, but then he remembered the disaster that led to all of this—and Wylan’s insistence that he’d do anything to make sure he didn’t tell.

Oh God, what if that’s what all this flirting was about?

Jesper’s excitement turned to an icy pit in his stomach. If this new, playful side of Wylan was an appeasement to keep him from telling his secret… the thought made him sick.

He hurried around the table to ask him, but Wylan was already on his way out of the cafeteria. He didn’t look back when Jesper called out, but raced out of the school, leaving Jesper alone with his sudden worries.


	10. The Deal

“I don’t know what I’m going to do.” Jesper glanced across the cafeteria to make sure Wylan was sitting at his own table. “You’ve got to help me.”

“Slow down,” Inej said. “Let me make sure I’ve got this right. You have a crush on Wylan, and you’ve been frustrated that he doesn’t like you.”

“Yes.”

“But the last time you flirted with him, he started flirting back.”

“Yes.”

“And this is a problem… why?”

Explaining the situation without breaking his promise to Wylan had proven harder than Jesper anticipated. He sighed. “Okay. Wylan has a secret.”

“What is it?” Kaz asked.

“I’m not telling you.”

“I’ll pay.”

“No.”

“You can name your own price.”

Jesper clenched his hands into fists. “Back off, Kaz!”

Kaz shrugged. “It was worth a try.”

No amount of payment would be worth breaking Wylan’s trust. Not when Wylan had looked at him with such frightened eyes, trusting him to keep his secret.

“Wow,” Nina said. “You’ve got it bad.”

Jesper glanced at her. “What?”

“You’re head over heels for him, aren’t you?”

“Come on, it’s not like that.” He tried to ignore the way his heart fluttered at the mere thought of Wylan, and how his breath caught when he checked the other table again and glimpsed red-gold curls. “He asked me not to tell. That’s all.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Jesper Fahey, notorious for being unable to keep a single secret, suddenly won’t tell a soul.”

“I approve,” Matthias said. “Wylan will be good for you.”

Jesper groaned. “This isn’t a question of whether we’d be a good couple or not.”

But would they be? Did his friends really look at the two of them together and think it might work out?

Inej nodded slowly. “You’re afraid Wylan is being nice to you so you’ll keep his secret.”

“Yeah.” It made his heart ache.

“Did you talk to him about it?”

“Of course not.” Jesper stared at her, horrified. “How could I ask that? If he was flirting with me, it would be insulting, and if he wasn’t, it would make everything more awkward.”

“Then don’t ask,” she said. “Just assure him you won’t tell his secret no matter what happens, and see if the flirting continues.”

“Oh.” He glanced across the cafeteria again and stood up. “Yeah. I’ll try that. Thanks.”

His heart hammered in his ears, but he managed to adopt a casual stance by the time he made it to Wylan’s table.

Wylan looked up at him.

“Hey.” No one else seemed to care about Jesper’s arrival. They were having conversations of their own. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.”

“In private?”

Wylan nodded and stood. “Is the hallway good?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” The teacher on cafeteria duty wouldn’t mind if they just stepped out for a minute, as long as they didn’t make too much noise.

As they walked to the exit together, Jesper tried to figure out if the look on Wylan’s face was nervousness or excitement. For his part, he felt like he might collapse at any moment.

 Once they were in the hall, Wylan met his gaze. “What is it?”

Jesper took a deep breath. “I wanted to make sure you know I’m not going to tell anyone your secret.”

“You already said you wouldn’t.”

“I know, but… we’ve argued at times, so I just want you to know that even if we fight or I’m in a bad mood, I’m not going to tell.”

Wylan smiled. “Thank you.”

That was easier than he expected. And reassuring. Wylan didn’t seem to be backtracking to tell him to ignore the previous day’s flirting.

“You’re a good guy.” Wylan stepped closer and took Jesper’s hand in his. “We haven’t always gotten along, and I know you’ve had some trouble of your own, but I don’t believe you’d try to hurt me.”

Jesper stared at their intertwined fingers and struggled to breathe. God, he was acting like a kid with his first crush. What was it about this guy that even holding hands knocked him off-balance? At this rate, kissing him might give him a heart attack.

His gaze went to Wylan’s lips. He’d gladly risk it.

“I hope you weren’t insulted by the way I left yesterday.”

He wrenched his mind away from fantasies of pulling Wylan into a quiet corner. “You did rush out of there.”

“We were running late. I… thought I’d be in trouble if I didn’t leave soon.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” Wylan offered him a shy smile. “I enjoyed yesterday. Thank you. It really made me feel better.”

Oh. Jesper’s heart stuttered. He enjoyed it. Their hands were still together, too. “Want to sit with us at lunch?” It wasn’t what he wanted to say, but it was safer.

“I…”

“My friends liked you. And I want more chances to talk to you about things other than math.”

“You don’t have to say that.” Wylan glanced away. “I know I’m no fun.”

“What are you talking about? Wait, are you going to sit there and do math problems the whole time?”

“No!”

“I don’t believe you.” Jesper grinned. “Sit with us and prove it.”

Wylan laughed. “All right.”

Jesper led him back to the lunch table and ignored the knowing smiles on all of his friends’ faces.

# 

It felt good to sit down with Jesper. Much less awkward than when he joined them alone. And it made Wylan dare to hope that the other boy liked him, at least as a friend. Still, he couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable about sitting with the infamous Dregs.

“Allow me to introduce my dear friend and tutor,” Jesper said, “Wylan Van Calculus.”

Wylan elbowed him. “Stop calling me that. And I’ve already met them.”

Inej smiled. “It’s good to see you again.”

“How are the lessons going?” Nina asked. “Jesper still giving you a hard time?”

“Still?” Jesper looked wounded. “Wylan, what did you tell them?”

“It’s going better,” he said to Nina. “He actually did his homework _and_ asked questions about it.”

Matthias gave him an approving nod. “You have reformed him.”

“That’s not what I’d call it,” Nina said with a smirk.

Jesper glared at both of them. “Come on, guys.”

“What do you think?” Wylan asked, amused by Jesper’s apparent embarrassment. “Has he been complaining about me?”

Nina’s smirk broadened. “Oh, I wouldn’t say that.”

“What then?”

She cackled, but Inej spoke before she could. “You seem to be a good influence on Jesper.”

He blushed and shook his head. “I’m just helping him with math, that’s all.”

“Yeah.” Jesper’s voice was firm. “Don’t read anything else into this.”

Wylan’s heart sank. Their flirting was all a game, then. Unless he just wanted to make it sound that way in front of his friends. Either way, it didn’t bode well. Wylan wouldn’t want to date someone if it had to be kept a secret from his friends.

He inwardly smacked himself. There was no reason to think about dating Jesper. They had a mentor-student relationship and that was it. Chasing after someone who prioritized _fun_ over everything else could only end in disaster.

“Whoa.” Jesper lifted his hands in the air. “Why am I getting the Wylan Death Glare?”

“Sorry.”

It wasn’t his fault. Wylan got out his lunch with a sigh. Jesper could do whatever he wanted, live however he wanted. He didn’t have to answer to the whims of a classmate who got stupidly infatuated with him.

“So how did you do it?” Nina asked.

Wylan glanced up.

“How did you get him to do his homework?”

“Excuse me,” Jesper said, “but it’s not like me doing my homework is _that_ unbelievable.”

Nina ignored him and gave Wylan an expectant look.

He shrugged. “I asked him to, that’s all.”

“And it worked?”

“Yeah, at least this time.”

She grinned and nudged Matthias. “Told you so.”

“You told me?” Matthias looked affronted. “I knew before anyone.”

“No, you were just the loudest about it.

Inej cleared her throat. “Actually, if we’re keeping track, I suggested it first.”

“Suggested what?” Wylan stared at them. “What are you talking about?”

None of them answered, but Nina burst into giggles. Wylan glanced at Jesper, who seemed fascinated by the texture of the closest wall. Then he looked at Kaz, the only one not acting like part of a private joke he and Jesper didn’t know about.

Kaz shook his head. “Ignore them when they get like this. I do.”

Wylan smiled.

“However, you and I need to have a chat.”

Unease replaced his happiness. Coming from Kaz Brekker, that sounded sinister.

Jesper also looked concerned. “What are you talking about?”

“Are you going to bring him to sit with us often?”

“That’s up to him.”

Wylan looked at Jesper and then at Kaz. He’d like to sit with them again, even if he and Jesper would never be more than friends, but not if it caused some sort of problem. People told all sorts of stories about the Dregs, too. For all he knew, they required some illegal act as initiation.

Kaz fixed him with a gaze sharp enough to pin him to the wall. “If you do intend to spend time with us, I’ll need you to make an oath.”

Great. Wylan’s heart skipped a beat. He braced himself.

“Oath?” Inej stared at Kaz. “Since when do we have an oath?”

He ignored her. “You seem to be all right, Van Eck, so I’ll level with you: as far as I’m concerned, Jan Van Eck is the scum of the Earth. Do not repeat a single word of our conversations to him. If you do, I’ll make sure you regret it.”

Wylan laughed. He’d expected so much worse. “If I ever sit down with my father to have a friendly chat, it’s safe to assume the alien invasion has begun and I’ve been replaced by an imposter.”

Kaz’s eyebrows twitched. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” The very thought of telling his father about the Dregs’ conversations made him laugh again. “You have my oath.”

“As long as we understand each other.”

 Everyone was staring at them, so Wylan returned his attention to his food. He couldn’t withhold a grin. Sure, he was eating with the school’s most infamous group, a group people whispered about and said not to mess with…

…but if Kaz knew what Wylan’s father was really like, maybe he’d finally found a place to belong. 

#

“Sorry about what happened at lunch,” Jesper said, when they sat together in the library later that day.

Wylan tilted his head. “What?”

“Kaz was out of line, going after you like that. It doesn’t matter who your family is. He didn’t have to be so…” Jesper trailed off as he remembered some of _his_ early comments about Wylan being rich.

To his surprise, Wylan smiled. “Honestly, it felt a lot better than when people talk about what a good man my father is and I have to smile and pretend to agree.”

“Then you don’t mind sitting with us? You’ll do it again?”

“I’d like that.”

Jesper grinned, overcome with relief. He needed more time with Wylan.

“Now, let’s take a look at your homework.”

“Yes, Master Van Calculus.”

They worked together for the rest of the hour. They’d found a comfortable routine. Jesper told him what he had trouble with and read any word problems or questions out loud, Wylan showed him how to solve the problem and helped him understand any concepts he struggled with, and then Jesper worked out problems under his guidance.

Today, they had extra work. A big Pre-Calculus test was set for the next day, and he had a list of topics to study. Jesper asked questions and tried his hardest instead of blowing it off, because it was worth it for the shy smiles Wylan rewarded him with.

It was—not _fun_ ; it was still math, and math would never be fun no matter what the sweet little weirdo might think—but pleasant. Watching Wylan’s intent face as he worked, seeing those soft curls inches away, feeling that gorgeous gaze on him… these were the sorts of things that could make a guy lose his mind and consider tutoring the best part of his day.

“You’re doing great,” Wylan said.

Comments like that made Jesper want to dance for joy. Of course, he’d rather Wylan praise his prowess in other contexts, but he’d take what he could get.

Less happy was his growing realization that Wylan didn’t just have trouble reading, he struggled with all but the most basic sentences. And every time, he looked up as though he expected to be scolded or hit.

Jesper wanted to scream at Jan Van Eck, even as his mind filled with questions about how in the world Wylan disguised it so well. But he forced his reactions back and gently helped Wylan with each sentence and question.

Every time a bright smile rewarded him, he daydreamed about cuddling in some safe, private place and reading to Wylan. Reading anything. Everything. Math problems, novels, the newspaper, whatever he wanted. If his adorable little nerd wanted to have the dictionary read to him, Jesper would happily start at the beginning. He could do this forever.

Maybe he was losing his mind. He glanced at Wylan, who smiled at him. If this was insanity, so be it. Jesper grinned back.

Wylan stretched. “I guess that’s about it for today.”

It was 4 already? Jesper glanced at the clock and sighed.

“Any questions before we finish up?”

“Nah.” Jesper paused as an idea flashed through his mind. “Well, actually…”

“Yes?”

He leaned back in his chair. “What do I get if I do well on my test?”

Wylan rolled his eyes. “You want that cake after all?”

“Cake? What if I get an A? Wouldn’t an A on a test be worth more than cake?”

He meant it as a joke, but the other boy rubbed his chin with a thoughtful expression. “You’re right.”

Really? Then he’d go with it. “So what do I get?”

“You can pick.”

Oh, that was a mistake. Jesper grinned as possibilities flashed through his mind. Yes, an offer like that was a definite mistake for a shy tutor with recent flirtatiousness. He leaned across the table toward him. “A kiss.”

Wylan turned pink. “From _me_?”

“Yep.”

For a while he didn’t say anything at all, just turned redder and redder. At last, he managed a strangled, “Only for an A.”

Jesper chuckled. “You got it, Master Van Calculus.” He rose from the table and strolled out of the library with a flutter in his stomach.

No gambling tonight, no hanging out with friends, nothing. He was going home to study his heart out.


	11. Falling

The lunch table felt different on Friday, mainly because Jesper sat with a math book open on the table, and frantically scribbled in his notebook every few minutes.

Kaz watched with a bemused expression. “How did you get Jesper to study? Torture?”

“Bribery?” Nina suggested.

“Hypnosis?” Inej asked.

“I’m sure it was nothing like that,” Matthias said. “He just convinced Jesper that studying is in his best interests for the future.”

They all looked at Wylan, who shrugged. “You have to know the best way to motivate people.”

Kaz nodded. “Torture.”

Jesper lifted his head. “Come on guys, knock it off. How can I study if you’re talking the whole time?”

His friends looked rather put out, except for Matthias, who nodded approvingly.

“Do you need help?” Wylan asked.

“Not sure. Am I doing this right?”

He tilted the notebook to see. “Your calculations are off.”

“Where?”

Wylan took Jesper’s pencil. Their fingers brushed, and his heart skipped a beat, but since Jesper didn’t comment on it, neither did he. He wrote beneath Jesper’s attempt. It would be so much easier if words worked for him the same way numbers did, if his strategies to memorize equations extended to sentences. Everything would be different.

“You okay?”

He looked up at Jesper and realized he’d frozen mid-equation. “Sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry for.” Jesper bumped his leg lightly under the table. “You just looked a little out of it.”

Wylan awkwardly nudged his leg back. “I was thinking.”

“Good. I gotta get that A, after all.”

His cheeks heated, and he returned his attention to the problem. After a few more notes, he nodded. “There, do you see what I did differently?”

“Hmm. Yeah, I think so.” Jesper reached for the pencil.

Their hands touched again, and this time the contact lingered long enough for him to be dizzy when it ended. He watched Jesper for a moment before glancing back at the others.

Nina grinned. “Your tutoring sessions must be something else.”

“What?”

“So Wylan,” Inej said before he could get clarification about that comment, “what do you do for fun?”

“I play the flute.”

“That’s what you said the last time. What else?”

He shrugged. “Sometimes I draw.”

Jesper cleared his throat. “I’ll model for you later. Nude, if you insist. Now will you please keep it down?”

Wylan blushed and almost protested, but there was too much at stake. If Jesper didn’t do well on this test, there would be no kiss. Well, he could request a kiss anyway, but then he’d have to reveal his feelings. If only he could tell how serious Jesper was about all this…

Besides, a good tutor would encourage him to do his best.

“Let him study in peace,” he said.

“Yeah.” Jesper gave them a firm nod. “How’s a guy supposed to get an A with everyone talking all the time?”

“You heard him,” Wylan said. “He needs quiet.”

“Did I get this answer right, Van Calculus?”

“Yes. Don’t call me that.”

Kaz rolled his eyes. “I think we’ve created a monster.”

#

Lunch was almost over, much to Wylan’s dismay.

“I don’t get this part,” Jesper said. “I know it’s saying this is the velocity, but—”

He went into it smoothly, helping with the written instructions as if it was just clarification of where he was struggling. Wylan felt oddly empowered by it. He was sitting with a group of people, but he didn’t feel afraid that they’d figure out his secret. Only one person at the table knew, and it was someone he trusted. With Jesper’s aid, he could mask his inability to read better than ever.

Wylan gazed at the other boy’s handsome features. He’d been attracted to him from the start, but this feeling was something more. He didn’t want lunch to end. He wished they had classes together. He wanted to go home with Jesper at the end of the day.

Something inside told him that if he’d been friends with Jesper longer, things wouldn’t be as bad as they were. He might have been able to read better if he had Jesper’s kindness to help him, instead of always associating it with fear. He might have had more confidence in himself.

He might have found it easier to hope that someone as gorgeous as Jesper could ever want him.

This had to be what falling in love felt like, this sudden need to be with him whenever possible, with giddy excitement at the slightest smile and agony when he worried his feelings weren’t returned.

“Earth to Van Calculus,” Jesper said. “Are you listening?”

Wylan jumped. “Sorry.”

“Did my outrageous good looks distract you?”

“Something like that.” The bell rang, and he glanced up at the clock. Lunch was over already. “Look, you’ve got the basics down. Stay calm and you’ll do fine.”

Jesper’s gaze flitted over him. “I hope so.”

Wylan blushed and grabbed his lunch box. “I better get to class.”

“See you on Monday, Wylan,” Inej said.

“Have fun in today’s tutoring session,” Nina added with a grin.

“Keep up the good work,” Matthias said.

Kaz said nothing, but his expression held less hostility than when they first met.

It was like an entirely different world. Wylan trailed after them toward the hallway. Just a few weeks ago, school was little more than an escape from his father. Now he had a group of people who wanted to spend time with him. It didn’t seem possible.

Hands caught his waist from behind, and he squeaked. With a chuckle, Jesper brought his mouth to Wylan’s ear. “You seem awfully concerned about me doing well on this test.”

“Um.” It was hard to concentrate with his lips right there.

“What?” Every breath warmed his skin. “Eager to give me my reward?”

“I’m your tutor,” Wylan said, as his legs threatened to become jelly. “If you do well, I’ll know I’ve done a good job.”

“That’s it?”

“Y-Yeah.”

Jesper pulled away. Something flickered across his face. Disappointment? No, it couldn’t be. It vanished as quickly as it came, replaced by a smirk. “Keep telling yourself that.” He sauntered down the hallway.

Wylan stared after him. It would be embarrassing to chase him down and insist he study as hard as possible in the time he had left.

But oh, he wanted that kiss.

#

After Calculus, Jesper hurried to the library as fast as he could. He felt confident about his test, but even more excited about the paper he’d gotten from the office, and he didn’t care who saw him dropping his Cool Jesper Fahey persona as long as it made a certain tutor happy.

When he opened the library doors and Wylan looked up at him with a smile, he wanted to sing. He couldn’t believe there was a time when he _didn’t_ want to see that sweetheart smiling.

“How did it go?” Wylan asked.

“Pretty good. I probably got that A.” Just in case, Jesper puckered his lips and fluttered his eyelashes.

Wylan laughed. “It doesn’t count until I see the graded test.”

“That’s no fun.”

“Deal with it.”

Well, it wasn’t as good as getting a kiss early, but Wylan teasing him had its own appeal.

“So,” Wylan said, “do you want to get a head start on the next section, talk about anything that confused you on the test, what?”

Jesper sat down across from him. “First, I want to ask you about something else.”

“Yes?”

“There’s a field trip coming up next week, on Thursday. It’s open to sophomores, juniors, and seniors, and it’s about going into business.”

Wylan tilted his head. “You mean the Young Entrepreneurs trip? I got a paper about it a while back.”

“Are you going?”

“No.”

“Why not?” Jesper thought it was a shoe-in for him. “Isn’t that your thing? Aren’t you going to be a businessman?”

“I guess.”

“Then…?”

Bitterness made Wylan’s short laugh unpleasant. “Yeah, that’s just great, Jesper. I’ll go on this field trip and participate in the group activities, and everything will go fine up until the point where I need to read literally _anything_.”

“No, hang on a minute.” Jesper reached out and caught his hand before he knew what he was doing. “I read through the whole description. You work in pairs at this thing. That means if I was there, I could handle the reading, just like at lunch.”

Wylan’s mouth opened and he blinked at him.

Oh no, it was that dizzying combination again, his soft hand in Jesper’s and his wide-eyed gaze driving him crazy. After their recent flirting, Jesper wasn’t going to move his hand unless Wylan pulled away first.

And Wylan showed no sign of pulling away.

“You’re going?” he finally asked. “I didn’t know you were interested in business.”

“I’m interested in you.”

His eyes widened.

But he’d said earlier he only wanted to be a good tutor, nothing more. Jesper cleared his throat and hastily clarified his comment. “Interested in _helping_ you. And spending time with you. We can’t hang out often, so I’ll pretend to be a ‘young entrepreneur’ if I that’s what it takes.”

Wylan’s eyes widened further. “I… I’d love to.”

Hearing him say the word _love_  made everything all the better.

“But…”

Jesper’s heart sank. “But what?”

“I’d need my father to sign the permission slip.”

That was a definite problem. “Can’t you convince him it’ll be good for your future, or it’ll look good to the town, or something like that?”

“You really want me to go?”

“Yeah.”

“Then I’ll try to convince him.”

Jesper grinned, almost giddy. Not only would Wylan try, but Jesper wanting him to go seemed a bigger motivation for him than the trip itself.

“Now, what do you want to work on today?”

“Actually,” he said, a little awkward, “I was wondering if there was anything I could do to help you with your classes.”

Wylan tilted his head.

“Since I don’t have anything pressing, and we seem to work well together…”

“It’s okay. I have audiobooks.”

“You’re sure?” Jesper’s heart ached whenever he thought about Wylan being forced to pretend he could read. “Isn’t there anything I can help with?”

“Not unless you can figure out a way to help with handwritten answers.”

“I’ll write for you.”

Wylan laughed. “I think they’d notice if your handwriting appeared on my homework.” Still, he reached into his backpack and got out a homework assignment. “I asked once if I could type everything, but they said no. Speech-to-text can only get me so far.”

Jesper stood and walked around the table to look over his shoulder. There were a few short sentences, but nowhere near what the assignment asked for. “Maybe if we do this…” He wrapped his hand around Wylan’s. “You use the pencil and I’ll guide your hand. Maybe then it’ll look like your handwriting.”

“You just want to hold my hand again.”

“Come on, isn’t it worth a try?”

“Oh, fine. What I was hoping to say here was ‘the problem presented in this story…’”

They didn’t make it past the first word before Jesper realized that instead of producing an amalgamation of their handwriting, trying to guide someone else’s hand to write just resulted in a mess of lines.

But Wylan was laughing and their hands were clasped, so it wasn’t a complete waste.

Jesper released him and returned to his own chair with a sigh. “At least I can read to you, so I’m good for something.”

“You’re good for a lot.” Wylan met his gaze. “Thank you, Jesper.”

“For what? All I did was make a mess of your homework.”

“I’ve never been able to laugh about this before. Or… feel relaxed about it at all.” Wylan wiped his eyes. “I’ve always been so tense. Scared. With you, I feel like a real person.”

“What,” Jesper said, worried despite his attempt to sound casual, “you feel like a robot the rest of the time?”

“Sort of. More like… a wind-up toy put on display for my father’s legacy. Something that goes back into storage when it’s not time to be seen.”

“You _are_ a real person. He won’t control you forever.”

“I don’t know,” Wylan whispered. “Sometimes I worry I still won’t be free once I’m an adult. He won’t let me. He’s put too much work into making sure no one… knows. I’ll just disappear. Or something. Before I can become an embarrassment to him.”

“You could never be an embarrassment.”

“I am to him.”

Jesper reached across the table before he could stop himself and touched Wylan’s cheek. “Then he’s a fool.”

Wylan closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He exhaled. “Do you mean it? Am I really… worth something to you?”

“You’re worth _so much._ ”

“Thanks.” He drew away with a shaky breath and glanced at the clock. “It’s almost four. I should go.”

Jesper wished there was another option, but there was no avoiding it. Wylan had to go home. He couldn’t stay with Jesper. “See you on Monday,” he said.

“You too.”

But he would have given anything to stop Wylan from returning to a house where he felt worthless and scared.


	12. Plans

Jesper tried to look casual as he handed his dad the permission slip that evening. “So there’s this field trip on Thursday that I’d like to go on… Sorry for the short notice.”

His dad’s eyebrows lifted. “Young Entrepreneurs?”

“Yes.”

“You’re voluntarily going on a field trip to learn about business?”

“Only if you sign the form,” he said with a laugh that he hoped would make the whole thing blow over.

His dad did look amused, at least. “What did you say your tutor’s name was?”

“Uh.” Jesper took a breath so he could say the name without sounding moonstruck. “Wylan. Wylan Van Eck.”

“Van Eck… That’s a businessman’s name.”

“Yeah. Guess Wylan is, uh, a good influence on me. Convinced me to… think about my future and all that.”

His dad chuckled and signed the permission slip. He glanced over it once more and then handed it back. “What is he like?”

Jesper stared at him.

“Wylan,” his dad said for clarity. “What is he like?”

“He’s…” Jesper absently played with the permission slip, turning it over and over in his hands. “He’s just a guy. You know.”

His dad’s eyebrows lifted. “Come on, you can give me a little more than that. All I have to go on are your early complaints about him.”

Jesper winced. “I guess I jumped to conclusions.”

“Mmhmm.”

“He’s actually a really nice person.” His early gripes about Wylan flashed through his memory, and he drew a panicked breath. His dad absolutely needed to understand what Wylan was really like, because it would break Jesper’s heart if he disapproved of their… whatever they had. “He’s really smart, even though he doesn’t always realize it, and when he lectures me about my homework, it’s only because he cares.”

“ _I_ knew that all along.”

“Oh, and he’s not homophobic at all. He’s just shy, I guess.”

His dad nodded. “Fair enough.”

Relieved, Jesper headed for the stairs.

“You’re not going out?”

He normally did on Friday nights, but he couldn’t tonight. “I have more important things to do.” He paused. “By the way, do you know where I could get a part-time job?”

An amused smile creased his dad’s face. “More of Wylan’s good influence?”

Jesper made a noncommittal noise. Getting a job would be a double blessing. Not only would it help him build money toward one day getting Wylan out of that house, but he also remembered that early conversation when Wylan encouraged him to get a job. He’d surely be happy to find out his advice had been followed. He’d smile. Probably blush.

Maybe throw his arms around Jesper and say they were meant to be together, but no, that was getting too far ahead.

“A lot of the local stores hire students,” his dad said. “You might check to see which ones have open slots after school.”

“Right, that could work.” Jesper rubbed his chin. “Although I’d need enough time to get there after four…”

“Four?”

“After tutoring ends.”

“It’s been two weeks. You can quit any time.”

Jesper stared at him. “What, are you crazy?”

“Wasn’t that the deal?” His dad’s grin broadened. “Two weeks of tutoring?”

“I’m not going to quit!” Lose that precious hour after school? The very thought was abhorrent.

“I see…”

“Yeah.”

His dad cleared his throat. “So, when do I meet him?”

“What?”

“When do I meet Wylan?”

Jesper turned away to hide his embarrassment. “He’s just my tutor, nothing more.”

“I’m sure.”

“It’s not like I’m just doing this to spend time with him or something.”

“Of course not.”

“I mean, why quit a good thing when it seems to be helping, you know?”

“I understand.”

“Good.” Jesper turned toward the stairs again. “Tomorrow, I’ll see if I can find anything good.”

“Jes?”

He glanced back.

“When do I meet him?”

# 

If only letters worked the way musical notes did. Music never gave Wylan half the problems written words did.

He sighed and rubbed his face. He wasn’t supposed to be feeling sorry for himself. Since he didn’t have the nerve to show his father the permission slip yet, he’d decided to start a special project.

Composing music was a recent endeavor. He never practiced the flute or piano at home, because the noise annoyed his father, but with enough work in private and practice during free time at school, he’d managed to write a few simple melodies over the past year.

His songs were always melancholy and somber, like elegies and laments. This one would be different. This song would express hope and freedom, feelings all too new to him that he had to get out.

Wylan hesitated with his pencil at the top of the page. It wasn’t as if he’d ever share this song.

But some things just felt right.

Slowly, painstakingly, he wrote out the title.

_For Jesper._  

#

Jesper scribbled furiously in his notebook. At some point he’d do his homework—to win another smile from Wylan—but first, he needed to take notes on the most important thing he’d ever considered.

_Operation Save Wylan_

_Step One: Get money._

He never thought he’d be looking for a part-time job to save up enough money to help a Van Eck, but he doubted any of the Van Eck fortune was Wylan’s to spend freely, and being unable to leave the house or use the Internet unattended would put a damper on any spending even if it was.

_Step Two: Give the money to Wylan._

_Step Three: Help Wylan escape._

That was where his plan became a bit vague. His first thought had been to get enough money for plane tickets, but it depended on exactly what the situation was. If being at home was the only danger, Wylan could move in with him or they could get a place together.

But just in case there was actually a clear and present danger of Wylan disappearing, plane tickets might be necessary. His dad would understand.

Well, his dad might think he’d lost his mind, but Jesper finally understood why people sometimes eloped.

_Step Four: Ask Wylan…_

He hesitated. Step Four was even more nebulous than Step Three.

Their flirting had been playful at first. Even though Wylan had warmed up to him, he might not want a serious relationship. It would be okay. Tolerable, at least. Seeing Wylan happy and safe would be Jesper’s reward. Having Wylan in his life was enough.

But at some point, he’d have to confess his feelings. What if, God forbid, Wylan wanted to live together _as friends_? Being platonic roommates would be agony, and Wylan deserved to know that the guy he was living with wanted to kiss every inch of him.

Jesper tapped the pencil against the notebook. What would Wylan say? When was the right time to tell him?

That stupid “Jesper Fahey image” was the problem. Wylan, sweet Wylan with his beautiful eyes and weirdly mathematical mind and gentle smile deserved so much better than a playboy who didn’t care about school and stayed out drinking and gambling all night long.

Right.

Jesper crossed off the numbers on his list and added two more steps at the top.

_Step One: Become worthy of Wylan._

_Step Two: Confess to him._

He’d study like he promised, give up his bad habits, and do everything in his power to become someone worthy of Wylan’s love.

Then and only then, he’d tell him how he felt.

# 

On Saturday, Wylan invented excuses to avoid bringing up the field trip and found himself once again diligently employed helping Alys pick out decorations for the baby’s room, but when Sunday came, he thought about how happy Jesper looked when he said he’d try.

With no other choice but to disappoint Jesper—and he couldn’t do that—Wylan found himself standing outside his father’s office. He steeled himself and knocked.

“What is it?”

That was a more terse response than usual, but maybe it meant he wouldn’t have to endure this long. Wylan opened the door and walked inside.

His father looked annoyed, but also surprised, perhaps not used to Wylan approaching him voluntarily. “This had better be important.”

Wylan swallowed and held out the permission slip. “There’s a field trip on Thursday for a Young Entrepreneurs program. My Economics teacher thought it would be useful for my future.”

His father’s lips twisted as he regarded the paper.

“It’s meant to help prepare anyone planning to go into business… and I’m… I’m positive I can handle it without anyone… finding out about me.”

“Young Entrepreneurs,” his father repeated in a flat tone. “A field trip to help prepare you for managing a business.”

“Yes, sir.”

“I suppose you have demonstrated some passable business skills.”

Hope blossomed in Wylan’s chest at the compliment. “This trip will help a lot. It might even… show me how I can help you with the business despite my problem.”

His father stared at him for a moment, and then he laughed.

The sound crushed Wylan’s heart. Not that he _wanted_ to run the business alongside his father—he’d rather get as far away as possible—but for a moment there, he thought he’d finally found proof that he could be useful, a way to make his father love him again.

Before he could say anything else, a servant appeared at the office door. “Sir, Mr. Rollins is here to see you.”

“Send him in.”

Wylan glanced at the departing servant and then back at his father. “The trip—”

“Not now. I have an important meeting.”

And just like that, after Wylan spent the weekend working up the courage to ask, he was being thrown out of the office. He lingered awkwardly in front of the desk with the permission slip in his hands, aware he was on dangerous ground but not ready to give up so easily.

“Oh.” The sudden voice behind him made him jump. “Your business partner, I assume?”

Wylan turned to face the newcomer who strode into the office, at a loss for how he should respond. Sometimes he _was_ presented to people as his father’s future business partner, as part of the charade.

His father’s voice sounded strained. “This is my son. Wylan, this is Pekka Rollins, who is here to meet with me about important business that wouldn’t interest you.”

“Wouldn’t it?” Rollins asked. “Everyone knows Wylan Van Eck is his father’s heir.”

Something about the way he said it hinted at a threat, but of what, Wylan couldn’t imagine.

He looked back at his father in confusion. “I…” He took a desperate gamble and held the permission slip out again. “I’ll leave in a minute, but the Young Entrepreneurs trip would be extremely helpful to my future.”

“Young Entrepreneurs?” This seemed to amuse Rollins. “A young entrepreneur in this house might need a great deal more help than a school trip could give him.”

Wylan turned to stare at him. “What do you mean?”

His father abruptly snatched the permission slip from his hands. “There.” He signed it and shoved it back at him. “Fine. Now, if you please…”

Wylan clutched the paper to his chest, hardly daring to believe it. “Thank you, sir.” He scurried out of the office and shut the office door behind him.

What a stroke of luck. His father was certainly in an odd mood, but it didn’t matter. Wylan knew his signature, and that was it at the bottom of the page, all ready to send him on his way next week.

A whole day out with Jesper.

Raised voices from behind the office door pulled his attention away from the miraculous signature, and he took a step closer out of curiosity.

“—was _that_ all about?” His father sounded furious.

“I have no reason to trust you, Van Eck,” the stranger said.

“ _You_ can’t trust _me_? At least I’m a respectable businessman. I took a great chance in calling you here, and you had better make this worth my while.”

Wylan stepped away and headed to his room before he could be caught eavesdropping. Whatever their meeting was about, he wanted nothing to do with it.


	13. The Kiss

Wylan turned in the permission slip first thing on Monday morning, afraid something might happen to it if he delayed. Part of him still couldn’t believe it. He and Jesper were going on a trip together. Yes, it would involve work, but…

Together with Jesper for an entire day. It would be glorious.

Classes before lunch were agony. When the bell finally rang, he raced to the cafeteria and made it to the table before any of the Dregs. They arrived, one by one, while he waited. As usual, his heart skipped a beat when he saw Jesper.

Jesper’s gaze met his. “Good news? You’re practically vibrating in your chair.”

“I’m going on the field trip.”

“Really?” Jesper sat next to him and held up his hand.

Wylan stared for a moment, then belatedly understood and gave him an awkward high-five.

“Trip?” Nina asked. “What’s this about a trip?”

Jesper slung his arm around Wylan’s shoulders. “Me and Wylan are going on the field trip on Thursday.”

“Thursday?” Inej’s eyebrows shot up. “You mean that ‘Young Entrepreneurs’ thing?”

“That’s right.”

“Since when are you a young entrepreneur?”

“Since… ah…” Jesper cleared his throat. “It’s a thing I’m trying. For my future.”

“I approve,” Matthias said.

“So do I,” Nina said, with a smile that was a bit more sly than his.

Kaz just shook his head and ate without comment.

“Don’t read too much into it,” Jesper said.

His denial that there was anything between them brought its usual sting, but Jesper’s arm across Wylan’s shoulders made him warm and dizzy, and he found himself asking, “If they shouldn’t read too much into it, why do you have your arm around me?”

The comfortable weight vanished, but he only had a moment of regret before Jesper’s long fingers cupped his chin instead. “Watch it, Van Calculus. I know I got an A on that test.”

He tried to respond, but he couldn’t breathe.

With a smirk, Jesper let go.

 “You know,” Nina said, “Wylan _looks_ harmless, but I’m starting to think we should be afraid of him.”

Wylan stared at her. “Of me?”

“It’s been what, two weeks, and you’ve already got Jesper wrapped around your little finger? That’s kind of terrifying.”

“Whoa,” Jesper said, “I’m not wrapped around anyone’s finger.”

“You’re going on a _business management field trip._ ”

“Maybe I just like getting out of class. Ever think of that?”

“Come on,” she said, laughing, “if Wylan asked you to help him do laundry after school, you’d turn into a mushy puddle and ask what kind of soap to bring.”

Wylan’s cheeks heated. He glanced at Jesper for any sign of his reaction. Surely it wasn’t like that. He couldn’t have that sort of power over anyone.

“If you want to be impressed by Wylan’s powers of persuasion,” Jesper said, “forget what he’s done to me. He managed to convince his nutcase father to let him go on a full-day field trip. Now that’s impressive.”

 Wylan shook his head. “I wasn’t that persuasive.”

“You got him to sign it.”

“Yeah, but I think that was less about me and more that he wanted to get me out of the office so he could talk to Mr. Rollins.”

Kaz choked on his food.

“Are you all right?” Inej asked.

He ignored her and stared at Wylan. “What did you just say?”

Wylan blinked. “Um… That my father signed the permission slip to get me out of the office for his meeting with Mr. Rollins?”

“Rollins.” The look at on Kaz’s face reminded Wylan of a predator sizing up its prey. “Pekka Rollins?”

“You know him?” This was the most bewildering thing that had happened yet. “Who is he?”

“He’s a criminal,” Kaz said. “He’s one of the most dangerous men in Ketterdam. He excels at making people disappear.”

That didn’t explain why Kaz knew him, but Wylan didn’t dare press the point.

“Why is your father working with him?”

“I don’t know,” Wylan said. “If I find out, I’ll tell you.”

“Hmm.” Kaz’s brooding stare contained something he couldn’t identify.

Jesper clapped his hands together. “All right, can we stop staring at Wylan and talk about something else?”

“Good idea,” Nina said.

But Kaz didn’t speak for the rest of the lunch period, and although Wylan tried to forget the incident, he couldn’t entirely shake his growing sense of unease. 

#

Jesper stared at the letter written at the top of his test paper.

_A._

He had to be seeing things.

_A._

“Congratulations,” Miss Smith said with a smile. “Your tutoring must be paying off.”

Tutoring. Jesper looked from her back to the page. He got an A. An A.

The kiss.

Part of him was distantly aware that his reputation as a cool guy who didn’t care about grades was falling to shreds as he stared slack-jawed at his test paper, but that didn’t matter, none of their opinions mattered, because he was _going to get a kiss from Wylan._

He went through the rest of the class in a fog.

Jesper’s anxiety spiked the moment the bell rang. There was a chance Wylan had made that deal with him as a joke, or never expected he’d actually pull through. He might be dreading the thought of the kiss. And as much as Jesper wanted it, he couldn’t pressure Wylan into it.

On the other hand, if Wylan _did_ plan to go through with the kiss, he didn’t want to lose his chance by pretending he wasn’t interested. No way. He’d done enough pretending already, and lately he’d been thinking he got it all wrong.

He took a deep breath to calm himself and headed toward the library. He’d play it by ear. Whatever Wylan did, he’d follow suit. If Wylan acted like it was a joke, Jesper would laugh it off and never mention it again.

Still, when he opened the library doors and saw the other boy sitting at their usual table, his nerves returned.

Wylan stood with a smile. “Hi.”

“Hi.” Jesper swallowed and brandished the graded test paper, with its shocking “A” clearly marked at the top.

Wylan’s cheeks turned bright red. But he stepped around the table, closed his eyes, and tilted his head up.

Oh. Well then. Jesper cupped Wylan’s face and kissed him.

He intended a light, brief kiss, part of their game, but Wylan’s breath hitched and he made a soft sound that drove Jesper’s reason away. He was kissing the boy who had made him crazy over the past two weeks with his shy blushes and quiet kindness, and he didn’t want it to stop. He lost himself in the sensation and suddenly his hand was tangled in Wylan’s hair and his tongue was in Wylan’s mouth and oh God he’d just ruined everything.

When they separated, he backed away and prayed Wylan wouldn’t tell him to leave.

Wylan stared at him with wide eyes, his cheeks flushed as he gasped for breath. “You don’t do anything in half measures, do you?”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

“Going to do the same on your next test, then?”

Wait. He wasn’t upset? He seemed… encouraging? Jesper smirked and stepped toward him. “With the right motivation.”

Wylan danced out of reach. “Let’s see another A first.”

“I could become a straight-A student from now on. You just need to find the right way to get through to people.”

The smile faded from Wylan’s face. “Wish it was that easy for me.”

Oh no, a tutoring session that began with such a thrilling kiss was _not_ going to end in self-deprecation. Jesper closed the distance between them and put his hands on Wylan’s shoulders. “You’re one of the smartest people I know.”

Wylan turned around and lowered his head. “I’m not smart.”

“Yes you are.” Jesper wrapped his arms around him. Holding Wylan was heavenly. He rested his chin on top of Wylan’s head. God, he even smelled good. “You’re way smarter than I’ll ever be.”

“You can read.”

“You eat advanced math problems for breakfast.”

Wylan turned to face him, his voice low and heated. “Everyone can read, Jesper. How can you possibly call me smart if I can’t learn how to read?”

He said it as though repeating something he’d been told over and over again, and Jesper’s blood boiled. “Because that's pretty much the exact definition of dyslexia! If your father would accept that instead of putting you down, you’d be a lot better off.”

“Sure.”

“Say it.” Jesper caught his shoulders again. “Tell me you’re smart.”

“What? No. That would be arrogant.”

“It’s not arrogant when you’ve spent way too long thinking the opposite. Say it.”

Wylan lifted his head, eyes closed. “I changed my mind. You can have that second kiss.”

That argument nearly crumbled Jesper’s resolve. He stared at Wylan’s inviting mouth but forced himself to keep a grip. He wouldn’t feel right about kissing Wylan if he believed such awful things about himself.

“Say it,” he whispered.

Wylan opened his eyes.

“I promise to do all my homework tonight if you say it.”

“Now you’re bribing me with your homework? Come on.”

“Say it. Please?”

“Fine.” Wylan’s cheeks reddened. “I’m… sort of smart, I guess.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Okay. Sure. I’m smart.”

“Say it like you mean it.”

Wylan rolled his eyes. “I’m smart, I’m smart! Are you happy now?”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What doesn’t matter? Say that, too.”

“I…”

“Say it out loud and mean it.”

“Fine. I’m smart… and it doesn’t matter that I can’t read.”

“There you go.”

Wylan laughed. “It does kind of feel good to say that.”

“And now…” Jesper brought his face close. “About that kiss…”

“Nope.” Wylan wiggled out of his grip. “You traded your chance. Now you’ve got to do your homework instead.”

“I traded away my kiss to do homework?”

“You promised.”

Jesper grinned. “Fine, you win. I’ll do my homework. But the joke’s on you. There’s a quiz this Friday, and I’m getting an A on it. Then you won’t get away.”

“You better study hard.”

Oh, he would. Not just to get a kiss, but to please Wylan. There was no doubt about it anymore, Wylan was unequivocally flirting back with him. But he deserved better than someone who ignored his studies and acted like he didn’t care about anything. Jesper wanted to be someone worthy of Wylan.

Once he was, he’d ask if this could be anything more.

# 

Wylan felt dizzy as he left the school. One moment he was ecstatic, and the next moment he was crushed, only to turn around and be ecstatic again. He couldn’t get a grip on his thoughts.

On one hand, _that kiss._

The memory made him stop in his tracks and close his eyes to savor it. He’d expected a soft kiss, something teasing and simple, but instead he got… _that._ Jesper kissed him like it was what he wanted most in the world.

On the other hand, he hadn’t indicated that he wanted anything serious. Wylan wanted all of him, not an occasional playful kiss.

He started walking again. Back to optimism, Jesper clearly cared a lot about Wylan’s self-esteem. He seemed to view him as a friend, if nothing else.

Friends didn’t kiss like that. His heart raced.

He composed himself by the time he reached his father’s car. It hurt to enter and shut himself off from the world where he felt loved, but he increasingly had something to cling to whenever it got too bad. He avoided his father’s gaze and sat down without a word.

The car started into motion.

“So,” his father said, in a tone that would have seemed conversational if they ever had casual conversations. “I understand you’ve made some new friends.”

Wylan’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

“I mean the students you’ve been sitting with at lunch, of course.”

How… _How_ did he know that?

“Be careful. Some of them have quite a reputation for causing trouble.”

He managed to speak at last. “They’re not as bad as people say.”

“Indeed. I’d hate for you to get mixed up with the wrong crowd.”

Wylan swallowed. Realizing his room was bugged was bad enough. Did this mean he had people at school spying on him, too?

“At least you’re doing better,” he said, still in that unnervingly conversational way. “I know how difficult things have been for you.”

Difficult? As if he ever cared.

“Your teachers sympathize, although your English teacher is becoming suspicious.” He glanced over his shoulder with a cold smile. “Try to do better, or we won’t be able to keep this charade up any longer.”

Wylan forced a nod. “Yes, sir. I will.”

There was only so much he could do to keep his secret. He thought back to the message Alys mentioned arriving. Maybe his English teacher was prying. He shivered.

As much as he hated the “charade,” he didn’t want to know what would happen if his father decided it was no longer worth the effort.


	14. The Threat

Wylan spent most of lunch on Tuesday looking at Jesper. Whenever the other boy glanced at him, he averted his gaze, but he was pretty sure the others noticed. Despite their obvious amusement, at least they didn’t comment on it.

“Don’t gossip about us too much on Thursday,” Jesper said.

Nina grinned. “The lunch table will be lonely without the two of you, but we’ll manage.”

That made Wylan’s heart soar. No one _ever_ talked about being lonely if he wasn’t there before. Granted, she probably meant it more for Jesper, but she included him in the comment, and that was amazing.

Jesper turned toward him with a smile. “What about you? Looking forward to our day out?”

“Y-Yeah.” Wylan hoped he wasn’t blushing too much.

“Teach me the ways of business, dear Van Calculus.”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Teaching me math, teaching me business…” Jesper’s gaze grew heated. “Someday I’ll repay the favor and teach you a few things.”

“Like what?”

He smirked. “Oh, I have many talents.”

Now Wylan _knew_ he was blushing. “Some people say I’m a slow learner.”

“I know better.” Jesper leaned toward him until he was completely in Wylan’s space. “But don’t worry. We’ll practice as much and as often as you need.”

The subtle insinuations made him unsure if he was being flirted with or not. Normally, that sort of confusion threw him off balance and made him uncomfortable, but he was rapidly reaching a point where being uncomfortable with Jesper wasn’t possible. If nothing else, he knew Jesper didn’t intend to hurt him.

“What if I want a lesson now?” he asked, emboldened by the other boy’s gaze on him.

A slow smirk spread across his face. “That can be arranged.” He leaned closer still, until they were mere inches apart.

Kaz cleared his throat. “Some of us are trying to eat.”

“And we’re in public,” Matthias said, his tone somewhat horrified.

Jesper withdraw into his own space with a chuckle. “If Kaz and Matthias are agreeing on something, I guess we have to listen.” He winked. “What about later?”

 _Later_ seemed too far off, but he’d accept it. A private “lesson” with Jesper? Oh, he’d definitely accept it. Wylan opened his mouth to respond—and remembered that someone was spying on him, that somehow his father knew where he sat at lunch. Flirting in the cafeteria was too dangerous.

At least the library was usually empty. There was no way anyone could have reported the conversations he and Jesper had during their tutoring sessions.

But what about the day they had ice cream? Did he know about that?

“Wylan?” Jesper asked, his tone worried. “I was… I was just joking.”

Oh. Wylan’s heart sank. Of course he was joking. That made things easier, then. He glanced down at the table. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it.”

It hurt more than it should have, but there was nothing he could do.

#

Tutoring was almost fun.

Jesper couldn’t keep his gaze from Wylan at the best of times, and thanks to their recent ease together, there was nothing to stop him from getting an eyeful whenever possible.

And with Wylan stretching after a long homework session, there was a lot of smooth, pink skin being unintentionally revealed. This was a view to savor. Of course, it would be better if he could get Wylan to take the shirt completely off. Maybe if they studied together outside on some hot day…

His fantasies of exactly what a shirtless Wylan would look like ground to a halt when the shirt inched up a tiny bit more to reveal a mass of yellowish bruises.

“You’re hurt!” he shouted, before he could stop himself.

Wylan blinked, and hastily tugged down his shirt. “What? No I’m not.”

“You’re all bruised under your ribcage.”

“Getting a good look, huh?”

Jesper didn’t rise to the bait. This was no time for flirting. He wanted to examine his precious tutor and take care of every injury, but he managed to keep a grip on himself. “How bad is it?” he asked instead. “How did it happen?”

“It’s just a few bruises.” Wylan kept his arms at his side, apparently not about to volunteer another look at the marks.

Understanding struck Jesper like an inferno. He clenched his hands into fists. “ _He_ did this to you, didn’t he?”

Wylan glanced away. “I…”

“If he or anyone else is hitting you—”

“They’re from that day when I left school early, that’s all. They just haven’t faded yet. It’s fine.”

That was not _fine_ at all. Jesper gaped at him. “Your father left you with bruises, and you’re trying to shrug it off like it’s nothing?”

“It’s really not that bad. He doesn’t do it often anymore.”

His acceptance of this abuse was almost scarier than the bruises themselves. Jesper stood and walked around to crouch in front of him. He placed his hands on Wylan’s shoulders. “This is not okay. There’s no reason you have to put up with this.”

“Yes there is.”

“ _No._ If you report it—”

“—he’ll find a way out of it. He always does.” Wylan stared down at the table. “I had a tutor once who tried to report him to the police. He found out about it. By the time she spoke to them, he’d fixed things to set her up for a crime. _She_ ended up arrested, and I was punished for confiding in her. Did anyone investigate him? Only as a formality.”

“That’s not fair.”

“It’s just how things are. My father is in control around here. Don’t try to act against him, Jesper.”

“But—”

“Please.” Wylan met his gaze at last. “I couldn’t stand it if something happened to you.”

“How do you think I feel about what’s happening to you?”

“Then do it for my sake. I need you.” His voice cracked. “If something happened to you… If I didn’t have this anymore…” He shook his head. “Spending this time with you helps a lot more than trying to go to the police would.”

Jesper sighed. “I… All right.”

“Thank you.”

He leaned close and embraced Wylan, careful not to squeeze too hard because of the bruises. “He won’t control you forever.”

Wylan’s shoulders drooped. “I don’t know. Sometimes I think he will.”

“Once you’re an adult, you can leave.”

“Will it be that simple? He won’t want me tarnishing the family name.”

There were a lot of angry responses Jesper wanted to make to that, but instead he returned to his seat and grinned. “You’ll just have to change your name, then.”

Wylan blinked. “That might actually work.”

“Yes! Embrace the truth and become Wylan Van Calculus!”

He laughed and rolled his eyes. “If I change my name, it’s _not_ going to be to ‘Van Calculus,’ all right? It would have to be something normal, like Hendriks.”

Jesper frowned. “Hendriks? Where did you pull that from?”

“It’s my mother’s maiden name. Her name was Marya Hendriks.”

“You miss her a lot, don’t you?”

Wylan shrugged, but his lip trembled. He looked like he was holding back tears. “I wasn’t allowed to go to the funeral. I don’t even know where she’s buried.”

That was heartbreaking, and Jesper couldn’t stand to see such sadness on Wylan’s face. He’d meant to cheer him up, not get onto another unhappy topic. “So Wylan Hendriks, eh?” He kept his voice light with difficulty. “Not a bad ring to it.”

Wylan stared at the table.

“It doesn’t sound quite as good as Wylan Fahey, though.”

That got a reaction. His head snapped up. “What, are you going to adopt me?”

“Not what I had in mind,” Jesper said with a grin.

Wylan’s cheeks turned crimson. “Well, Wylan Fahey doesn’t sound bad.”

Victory!

“But I should have a name of my own before taking someone else’s, don’t you think?”

“Sure. Wylan Hendriks Van Calculus Fahey, it just rolls right off the tongue.”

A crumbled up piece of paper smacked Jesper in the face. “That’s Wylan Hendriks Fahey, no ‘Van Calculus’ in there at all, please.”

Jesper laughed. “Don’t you want to see the looks on people’s faces when you introduce yourself like that?”

“No.”

“I would.”

“You’re nuts.”

“Hello, I’m Jesper Hendriks Van Calculus Fahey.”

Another ball of paper smacked him. “You took my whole name? I see what this is about. You just want to introduce yourself in some ridiculously elaborate way.”

He laughed, a bit giddy that he’d made a joke about marrying Wylan and the other boy went right along with it.

“Jesper, I…” Wylan’s voice was oddly hesitant.

“Yes?”

He shook his head. “Nothing. Just… I’m looking forward to Thursday.”

“Yeah.” Jesper stared into his eyes. He could gaze into those eyes forever. “Me too.”

#

Wylan had almost finished his homework when his father called him to his office. His stomach churned as he entered. Being summoned was never a good thing. He hadn’t done anything wrong, so all he could think was either his father found a way to call off the field trip or his English teacher had stirred up more trouble.

His father gestured to the chair in front of his desk.

Wylan sat.

“How is school going?”

“Um.” His mind raced as to how this could be a trick. “Fine, sir.”

“Do the other students treat you well?”

His father _never_ cared about his classmates making fun of him or harassing him. “Sure.”

“What happened to that boy you were working with in Chemistry?”

Wylan blinked in surprise. “Kuwei? We’re still lab partners, sir.”

“Yet you don’t spend time with him.”

He and Kuwei got along well enough to work together in class, but not enough that he’d call him a friend. Nicer than most of his classmates, but he had his own friends and his own interests.

But more importantly…

“How do you know who I spend time with, sir?” Wylan asked before he could help himself. It had nagged at his thoughts ever since the previous afternoon.

His father’s tone was as casual as if it was perfectly normal. “I keep tabs on you to make sure you’re all right.”

“Oh.” Wylan struggled to sound calm. “I see.” One too many lectures about being ungrateful made him flinch out of habit and quickly add, “Thank you, sir.”

“I’m certain you know how important it is.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good. You’ve learned something after all.”

He had. He’d learned the right things to say to avoid punishment.

“I’m not your enemy,” his father said. “You and I both want what is best for you.”

Wylan felt sick.

“Yet I fail to see why someone looking out for his best interests would choose the company of those hoodlums.”

“I just wanted to sit away from my classmates at lunch, sir. That’s all.”

Was it still safe to sit with the Dregs? Why was his father making such a big deal out of this?

“Have they threatened you?”

Wylan stared at him. “No, sir.”

“If they did, you would tell me immediately.”

“Yes, sir.”

“Good.” His father’s smile didn’t contain any warmth. “If anyone dared to threaten you, I would have to intervene.”

The statement was so ridiculous, Wylan almost laughed. He’d been bullied through most of high school. The one time he _did_ mention it to his father, he was chastised for being weak and told to do better. When he brought up verbal harassment, his father punished him for letting his classmates see what a worthless waste of space he was. And now he had the gall to act like he cared.

But Wylan didn’t laugh. It always went worse for him if he didn’t play along with his father’s lies.

There had to be a reason behind this conversation, though. His father preferred to ignore him whenever possible. He wouldn’t have brought all this up just for his amusement.

His warning from the previous day flashed through Wylan’s mind. Did he hope to claim he was being bullied by the Dregs and pull him out of school to isolate him further?

“Of course,” his father said, “it would be difficult depending on exactly who was giving you trouble.”

“Well, no one is, sir.” Wylan fidgeted and resisted the urge to look back toward the door. This conversation was giving him the creeps.

“If someone with a lot of influence was bothering you, even I might not be able to pull enough strings to send him away.”

Send him away? So this threat wasn’t aimed at him, then.

“Anyone else, however… like a farmer’s son, for example—”

Wylan’s blood ran cold.

His father smiled. “Why, it would be quite easy to make him disappear.”


	15. Setback

Jesper didn’t hear a word of the Chemistry lecture the next day. Wylan was good at Chemistry. Maybe he'd ask him to explain a few things. Not that he particularly cared, but it would mean more time with Wylan, listening to his gentle voice and enjoying the serious way he explained things.

He abruptly realized his teacher was standing by his desk.

“Jesper, are you paying attention?”

“Sorry,” he said. “What?”

“See me after class.”

Great. Just what he needed.

Wait… He might be able to turn this to his advantage. Surely the rest of his teachers considered setting him up with a tutor too. Wylan would be a natural choice.

If they asked Wylan to tutor him in Chemistry, he’d agree, and then they’d make Van Eck agree, and then he and Wylan would have _two_ hours together after school.

Jesper tapped his pencil against his desk for the rest of class, which earned him a frown from Anika that he ignored, and when class ended, he nearly tripped over his own feet getting to the teacher’s desk.

“Hello Jesper,” he said without looking up. “I understand your Pre-Calculus grades have improved since you started tutoring. Would you consider a Chemistry tutor?”

And people said luck wasn’t on Jesper’s side. “Yes!”

His shout made the teacher lift his head.

Jesper continued with what he hoped was an earnest, innocent expression. “I was just thinking the same thing. A tutor would really help me get my grades up.”

“We actually just had someone sign up as a science tutor. I don’t know how you’ll feel about this, because he’s in the grade below yours, but I think he’s up to the task.”

This was perfect. Jesper kept his tone casual. “That’s all right with me. Our math tutoring ends at four, so—”

“Wonderful. I’ll have Kuwei meet you here at four.”

Wait.

What?

Jesper frowned. “Who?”

“Kuwei Yul-Bo, our Chemistry tutor.”

“I don’t want to be tutored by Kuwei,” he said. “What about Wylan?”

“Wylan isn’t on our list as a Chemistry tutor.”

“Then ask him!”

His teacher’s eyebrows lifted. “I’m sure Kuwei will do just fine. This _is_ about your Chemistry work, and not something else, isn’t it?”

Like Jesper could admit to a teacher that he just wanted additional time to flirt with Wylan. “Yeah.”

“Then I’ll ask Kuwei about it.”

Great. That didn’t go according to plan at all.

#

The day should have gotten better once lunch arrived, but somehow it got worse. Once they were ten minutes into the lunch period and Wylan still hadn’t sat in the empty seat alongside Jesper, he realized something was wrong. He scanned the cafeteria.

There. Wylan sat at his old table, as though the past few days had been nothing but a wonderful dream.

What could have happened?

Wylan didn’t look up. He didn’t talk to the classmates around him either. Jesper ran through the previous afternoon. They had a disagreement, but everything was fine after that. Wylan even played along with Jesper’s jokes about marriage, and then he said he was looking forward to their trip on Thursday.

If something had changed between them, the trip might be a disaster. Jesper could always pretend he meant the trip as a joke and never seriously intended to go, but that  _hurt_.

Kaz cleared his throat. “Before you begin wallowing in self-pity, has it occurred to you to attempt communication like a normal human being?”

Jesper scowled. “You’re the last person in the world who should lecture anyone on normal human communication.”

“Suit yourself.”

“He’s right, though,” Inej said. “Unless you and Wylan had an argument, you need to find out what’s going on.”

Jesper shook his head. “He already made up his mind.”

“We don’t know why he’s not sitting here,” Nina said. “Maybe he doesn’t like us and just wants to be alone with you.”

“Yeah right.”

Matthias glanced back at the other table with a frown. “Perhaps he thinks he’s no longer wanted here.”

“Come on,” Jesper said, “why would he think that?”

“Why would he stop sitting with us without a word of explanation?”

“Because—”

Nina slammed her fist down on the table before he could finish his sentence. “Jesper Llewellyn Fahey, if you decide Wylan hates you without even trying to talk to him, I’m going to punch you in the nose.”

Jesper stared at her. “How do you know my middle name?”

“I heard your dad say it once. Now go talk to Wylan.”

It would be so humiliating to walk to that table and be rejected. He hesitated, but all of his friends were staring at him like they couldn’t believe he was unwilling to do this much. He couldn’t let them think he was a coward.

He rose and nervously made his way to Wylan’s table. “Wylan?”

Wylan flinched.

“Did I do something?”

“No,” Wylan whispered. “Please, I can’t talk about it here.”

“What’s going on?”

“I’ll tell you about it at tutoring. Just please… Go back to your own table. I can’t sit with you right now.”

“Okay.” It hurt to walk away and leave him sitting there, but since it was what he wanted, Jesper obeyed.

Nina gave him an inquisitive look. “Well?”

“I don’t know. He said he’d explain later.”

“I’m sure he has a good reason,” Inej said.

That almost made it worse. Jesper stared at his food. At least if Wylan was mad at him, he could grumble and complain about it. Knowing what Wylan’s home life was like, he didn’t want to think about what could have caused this.

He tried to pay attention to his friends’ conversation, but instead his thoughts kept straying back to his dreams about the future. He hadn’t secured a part-time job yet. He needed to, as quickly as possible.

He had to get Wylan out of there.

“Hello.”

The unfamiliar voice made him jump. He glanced at the black-haired student who had inexplicably taken the seat beside him. “Uh, hi?”

“I’m Kuwei.”

Oh. “Jesper,” he said under his breath.

“I know.” He didn’t make any move to leave.

“You’re in Wylan’s seat.”

The boy looked from him to the table where Wylan sat frowning at the two of them. “But he’s sitting over there.”

“Well, yes, but…” Whatever drove Wylan to sit somewhere else, he’d be back someday, and when he did, he’d need his seat. Bad enough Kuwei ruined his plans for additional Wylan time, without taking his chair as well.

Kaz also looked displeased. “Why are you sitting with us?”

“I will be tutoring Jesper in Chemistry.”

Jesper half-hoped Kaz would point out that lunch had nothing to do with Chemistry and make him leave, but instead he just shrugged and left it at that. And Matthias was frowning at Jesper as though he thought he’d set this up on purpose to two-time Wylan.

This day couldn’t get any worse.

#

Wylan breathed a sigh of relief when he stepped into the library. Ironic, that for all the pain books held for him over the years, their school library had become his sanctuary. Maybe the last safe place he had left.

He wouldn’t let his father hurt Jesper. He’d rather lose Jesper’s friendship than risk him “disappearing.”

Jesper raced into the library a moment later. “Are you okay?”

Despite the situation, Wylan smiled. He’d worried Jesper might be angry at him for not sitting with them, but instead he burst in full of worry. It felt good to be worried about. The tall boy’s gorgeous face was creased with concern. How was he so lucky to have someone as wonderful as Jesper caring about him and wanting his company?”

“I’m fine,” Wylan said.

They sat at their usual table, and he spent another moment marveling over the situation before Jesper cleared his throat. “So, what was up at lunch? If you’re not mad at me, is it one of the others? If Kaz said something to you—”

“It was my father,” Wylan said. “He threatened you.”

“Whoa, what?”

“He knows I’ve been sitting with you guys at lunch. Yesterday, he told me how easy it would be to make a farmer’s son disappear.”

Jesper stared at him.

“Maybe it was just a coincidence, but I don’t know. I think… I think he really meant you.”

Cold triumph had filled his father’s eyes after the casual threat. Even the memory made Wylan shudder.

“Well.” Jesper’s laugh sounded forced. “I see my shining reputation has reached the great Jan Van Eck. I must be doing something right.”

“This isn’t funny.”

“I know. It’s creepy as hell.” He shook his head. “He could have checked with the school to find out who you’re tutoring and then looked me up—which is creepy enough on its own, by the way—but how does he know who you eat lunch with?”

Wylan sighed. “I guess he has people watching me. That’s why I didn’t sit with you today. I don’t want him to pay any more attention to you than he has already.”

“I missed you.”

“Me too.”

Jesper regarded him for a moment longer and then pulled out his cell phone. “Mind if I tell Kaz? If anyone can find out who your father gets his information from, he can. Is that okay?”

“As long as he doesn’t get in trouble.”

“Have you _met_ Kaz?” Jesper winked. “He’ll never be caught.”

Wylan managed a smile. “Okay.”

He watched in fascination as Jesper’s fingers flew across the screen.

“There. Sent. Let Kaz work his magic.”

“I hope he finds out.”

“Me too.” Jesper cleared his throat. “By the way, I, uh… kind of messed something up today.”

Wylan’s heart skipped a beat. “You can still go tomorrow, can’t you?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s got nothing to do with that.”

“Good.”

“It’s just, I accidentally ended up with a Chemistry tutor.”

The miserable lunch period flashed through Wylan’s mind. “Kuwei?” He tried to say it calmly, as though he hadn’t felt like hitting his classmate every time he saw the way he looked at Jesper.

“Yeah. Do you know him?”

“He moved here at the start of the year. We’re lab partners, but we don’t really hang out or anything.”

“See, I was hoping you could tutor me in Chemistry, so when I heard the tutor was in the grade below mine…”

A weight lifted from Wylan’s shoulders. “As long as you wanted it to be me, then everything’s fine.”

Jesper raised one eyebrow and smirked.

“I mean… not that there would be anything wrong with you wanting him to tutor you.”

The smirk deepened. “Is that jealousy I hear, Van Calculus?”

“No!” Wylan pouted.

“Good. I don’t know what you take me for.” Jesper put his hand over his heart. “Do you think I run off on business management field trips with every tutor I meet?”

Wylan laughed. “You better not.”

“Only with my dear Van Calculus.”

It was reassuring to hear things like that. But still, Kuwei had advantages Wylan didn’t. He’d be able to sit with Jesper at lunch without worrying about the consequences. He could spend time with him outside of school hours. They could probably even text and talk on the phone.

Jesper’s foot nudged his under the table. “Come on, spill it. Why’s the Grumpy Wylan face back?”

“I…” Wylan stared at him. He wanted to tell Jesper how he felt, how he _really_ felt, and ask if there was any chance.

“Something on your mind?” Jesper asked. “Something you want to say to me?”

“I was just thinking that we’d better get started on your homework.”

“Of course, I should have known.”

He wanted to believe this was more than just a game to Jesper, but in the end, he was afraid to hear the answer.


	16. Young Entrepreneurs

Jesper paced in front of the school where everyone stood waiting for the bus. Some of the other students gave him odd looks. He ignored them. They could wonder as much as they wanted why Jesper Fahey was on this field trip. If the one person who mattered didn’t show up soon, he _wouldn’t_ be on it.

If only he understood Wylan better. He definitely seemed jealous over Kuwei—and judging by Kuwei’s numerous insinuations during their first tutoring session, it was a reasonable concern to have—but he denied it.

Well, Jesper could hardly blame him. If he was as smart and kind as Wylan, he’d be reluctant to tie his life to a screw-up like himself, too. Once he got his life in order and became someone Wylan could be proud of, maybe then he’d have a chance.

A familiar expensive car drove up, and Jesper’s heart leaped. Mindful of Van Eck’s threat against him, he shuffled out of sight behind a cluster of students and crouched down. They gave him even stranger looks than before, but he didn’t care.

The car stayed for a long time, but at last the door opened and Wylan stepped out. He looked a little upset, but also hopeful, and his gaze darted over the assembled students.

It hurt to stay in hiding while he looked around, but Jesper forced himself not to move until Van Eck’s car drove away. Then he stood.

Except Wylan was facing the other direction, scanning the street. Oh, this was too good of an opportunity to pass up.

Jesper snuck up behind him and caught him by the waist. “Boo.”

Wylan shrieked and whirled around.

Jesper cackled. “Couldn’t resist.”

“Where _were_ you?”

“Hiding.”

Wylan scowled. “You hid just to scare me?”

“I hid so a certain threatening millionaire wouldn’t see the tall, dark, and handsome stranger about to sweep you away. Scaring you was just a bonus.”

He was still breathing heavily, but his scowl faded into an embarrassed smile. “Oh. Well, I’m glad he didn’t see you.”

Some of the students around them were whispering and giggling. To Jesper’s dismay, their amusement focused on Wylan’s unfortunately high-pitched scream. As if there was something wrong with it. It was fine. And as long as everything was okay, Jesper wouldn’t mind hearing it again. Would Wylan make sounds like that while being tickled?

Wylan’s face grew redder, and he stared at his feet.

Enough. He ought to pay attention to Jesper, not people who didn’t value him. Jesper reached out and poked his stomach. “Are you ticklish?”

Wylan yelped and squirmed away. “What’s with you today?”

“Maybe I’m looking for excuses to touch you.”

“Are you always like this in the morning?”

“Care to spend the night with me and find out?”

“Oh, you’re in rare form today.”

“I’m giddy at the thought of a whole day with my sweet Van Calculus.”

For a change, Wylan didn’t protest to the nickname. His shy smile made Jesper’s heart race.

“And don’t forget I have a quiz tomorrow,” he said, unable to help it. “I’m going to get an A.”

Wylan grinned. “Better study hard.”

Nothing was better than seeing him look forward to it as well. He _had_ to get an A again. Or else… well, he didn’t want to think about that. “I’m also trying to find a part-time job. I don’t have it yet, but I think I found one for the weekend.”

The other boy looked stunned. “You did? That’s wonderful!”

“You’ve been a good influence on me.” And he really wanted to be someone Wylan could be proud of.

For a moment, Wylan looked like he was going to say something, but then the other students started heading toward the bus. Wylan caught his hand and tugged him after them.

Jesper could hardly object to holding his hand. He grinned and followed him onto the bus and to a seat, where Wyan sat down.

“Or did you want the window?” Wylan asked.

“Nope. This is perfect.” Jesper sat alongside him and slid close enough to feel the other boy’s warm body against his.

Wylan blushed. “Comfortable?”

“Oh yes.”

He cleared his throat. “So how was your Chemistry tutoring?”

“Not nearly as much fun as if you were there.”

“Did you and Kuwei get along?”

Jesper shrugged. “He’s all right. But I prefer you.”

“Really?” Wylan asked, a little too quickly for someone who wasn’t jealous.

“It’s not even a contest.”

“You could quit, you know.”

“Hey, maybe I really _do_ want to improve my grades.” Jesper nudged him. “You’re supposed to encourage me, remember?”

“Sorry.”

“I don’t mind.” He just wished he could be sure of the reason behind it.

“So have you heard Kuwei’s ‘I have a secret’ routine yet?”

“His what?”

Wylan grinned. “Oh, you have something to look forward to.”

The diabolical edge to his tone made Jesper suspect that whatever this conversation was, Wylan was looking forward to it as punishment for getting mixed up with Kuwei.

“Forget him,” Jesper said, his voice soft. “Today is for me and you.”

“Can we go over the specifics of the field trip again?”

He slung one arm across Wylan’s shoulders and got out the paper with his free hand. “Let’s see… Ah, here we go.” He read it quietly, so as not to draw too much attention. The last thing they needed was for someone to ask why he was reading out loud.

The field trip would take them to the offices of a successful business, where they’d witness the day-to-day activities of its employees, learn about various positions, and finally work in pairs for the management exercise. They’d be presented with the company’s latest data and stats and see which team could develop the best plan for the next year. The winners would receive an award and shares in the company.

“This feels exploitative,” Jesper said. “They’ve got us figuring out their plan for them!”

Wylan shook his head. “Didn’t you hear what you just read? The winners each get shares. And we’re only high school students!”

This was obviously something Wylan had a lot more experience with than he did. Jesper stared at him. “So this is something we should want?”

Wylan stared back for a moment and then sighed. “Money, Jesper. It’s money.”

“Wait, they’re going to pay us?”

“The winners get shares in the company. It’s an investment.” Wylan closed his eyes. “I wonder how they’ll do it, since we’re minors. Depending on the method, it could be legally mine and my father would have to let me take the account when I turn 18.”

So this was some sort of stock market thing. No wonder Van Calculus was interested. Jesper grinned at him. Whatever it was, if Wylan wanted it, he’d do his best to help him get it.

#

The opening lectures and tour of the building were less interesting than Wylan expected, because he knew most of it already. Then the group activity began.

“Please pair off and let me know each of your names,” the man in charge said. He walked to each group to give them a page with instructions.

“Wylan Van Eck and Jesper Fahey,” Wylan said when he reached them.

The man paused. “Jan Van Eck’s son? Why, you’re the spitting image of your father!”

Wylan flinched, but masked it with a smile. “Yes, people say that.” And he hated it. He didn’t want to be anything like his father. Having his face was some kind of sick joke from the universe.

“You have a lot to live up to, but I’m sure you can do it.”

He kept his face fixed in the polite smile he’d adopted. “Thank you.”

“Are you feeling better these days? I heard you’ve had some problems.”

What? “I’m fine,” Wylan said, even though he had no idea what the man was talking about.

“Good. Your father worries about you, you know.”

Lies, lies, lies. The only thing he worried about was whether or not Wylan would embarrass him. “I know.”

“Keep up the good work.” The man handed him their paper and clapped his shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll make your father proud.”

“Thank you.”

The moment he moved on to the next group, Wylan shuddered and handed the paper to Jesper, who stared at him with an unreadable expression.

“What?” Wylan asked.

“Nothing.” Jesper gave his shoulder a light squeeze. “I just wish you didn’t have to go through that.”

Wylan shrugged. “I’m used to it. Come on, let’s get started.”

#

The way Wylan became a different person when asked about his father gave Jesper the creeps, and he wasn’t sure which possibility was worse—that Wylan was so used to doing it, it came automatically, or that he worried word would get back to his father if he didn’t play along.

On the other hand, Wylan’s face lit up once they actually got into the work. _This_ was the Wylan Jesper knew and loved from their tutoring sessions, with his mind crunching numbers like a machine while he planned out management ideas with barely a pause.

Strange. He always talked about going into business like it was something he didn’t care about, yet he looked like he was in his element. Why did he act so odd about it if it was something he enjoyed?

“Jesper?”

He jumped. “What?”

Wylan tilted his head. “I asked what you thought.”

“Uh…” Jesper cleared his throat. “Could you repeat what you said?”

“You don’t really want to be here, do you?” Wylan asked, his voice sad.

 Oh no, they weren’t going in that direction. Jesper leaned close with a smirk. “There’s nowhere I’d rather be. It’s not my fault being near you is distracting.”

As he’d hoped, Wylan’s cheeks turned pink.

“If you don’t want me to get distracted, you’re gonna have to tone down the cute.”

Wylan looked like a stop sign. “Can we get back on track?”

“As you wish.”

“I was saying, what we’ve planned out so far is good, but I think we should work on investments, too.”

“You mean more stock stuff? What do we do? I don’t know anything about this.”

“Basically, we need to decide what to invest in and what to do with our current investments outlined here. Do you think the stock is going to go up? Then we hold onto it. But if you think it’ll go down, we should sell it.”

Jesper stared at him. “This fancy-pants field trip is about _gambling_?”

“Excuse me?” Wylan looked insulted. “Playing the stock market is not gambling.”

“You want to make a decision based on whether or not we guess we’ll get more money or less? Gambling.”

“It’s not _luck_. You have to understand the market and current trends. It requires _skill._ ”

“Hey, a lot of strategy goes into poker.”

“It’s not the same at all.”

Teasing him was too much fun. Jesper smirked. “Okay, so if we think it’s going down, we sell to get our money out while we can?”

“Right. Although we probably could short it… Do the rules say anything about that?”

“In English, please.”

Wylan cleared his throat. “Uh, basically that means selling a stock you don’t own.”

“And here I thought Kaz was the only friend who might get me arrested.”

“Shorting stocks is perfectly legitimate. You basically borrow it and then sell it, so if it goes down, you get money, and if it goes up, you lose money.”

“Wylan?”

“Yeah?”

“That’s just gambling.”

Wylan elbowed him. “It is not. Now stop arguing and see if that’s in the rules.”

Jesper laughed and obeyed. Oh, he loved him. He could spend all day doing this.

# 

“I never knew you rich businessmen spent so much time gambling.”

“It’s _not_ gambling.”

They sat together on the bus for the ride home. Wylan reached past Jesper for the thousandth time to make sure the folder of documents was safe. They’d won the competition by a landslide, and for once the fact that everyone knew whose son he was came in handy—when Wylan learned there was no guaranteed way to make sure the shares were legally his, he cited his wealth and insisted Jesper get their full prize.

To be fair, giving someone with a gambling addiction his stock sounded like a good way to never see it again, but he’d rather Jesper lose his money than let his father take it away.

“You had us making trades based on predictions of things that might happen in the future. That's gambling.”

Wylan folded his arms. “If it’s just gambling, then why did it go so much better?”

“Because I was gambling with a genius by my side.” Jesper winked.

Wylan rolled his eyes. “It’s not gambling.”

“Well then see, you’re the one smart enough to understand all this stuff. You were great. You’re an absolute genius.”

Embarrassed, he shook his head. “Stop saying that. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Despite his irritation with the other boy’s instance that the stock market was gambling, Jesper’s willingness to take risks in the hopes of a high payout definitely helped with their strategy.

“Can’t wait to start my own rich person gambling,” Jesper said.

Wylan kicked him.

“But seriously, you’re going to be an amazing businessman someday.”

He kept saying things like that. Wylan usually felt uncomfortable when people talked about him going into business, because it was all a farce. How could Jesper say that when he knew the truth?

Jesper poked his cheek.

Wylan jumped and pulled his head away. “What was that for?”

“Every time I talk about you going into business, you make that grumpy face.”

“I get sick of hearing how I’ll be a great businessman like my father.”

“So then, you don’t want to?” Jesper sounded unusually hesitant. “That’s fine, but you seemed like you were having a lot of fun today.”

It _was_ fun. Wylan lowered his head. He’d felt like everything finally came together, and he really could excel.

“You know you don’t have to hate business just because of him, right?”

He glanced up.

Jesper regarded him with a serious look. “If you like it, don’t let him ruin it.”

“It doesn’t really matter,” Wylan said with a shrug. “He’ll never let me go into business with him, even if I wanted to.”

“Who said anything about working with him? You’ll start your own business.” Jesper winked. “And from what I saw back there, you’ll drive him right out of the market.”

Wylan laughed and shook his head.

“I mean it. If this is what you want to do, you’ll be great at it. And I’m not just saying that because I like you.”

He met Jesper’s gaze. The other boy seemed sincere. Going into business on his own? Wylan’s chest constricted. He’d never considered the possibility before. Since his father wouldn’t allow him an actual role in the company, his only hope of escape was to be on his own… doing something else.

But… could he be on his own, running a business?

He managed a tiny smile. “Would I have a business partner to read to me?”

“Absolutely.” Jesper’s voice shook. “If… if that’s what you want, then I…” He cleared his throat. His apparent nervousness faded into a smirk. “Van Calculus Incorporated? How could I miss getting on board with that?”

Wylan elbowed him.

Their conversation turned to more casual things for the rest of the trip, but he couldn’t stop thinking about it. Going into business on his own, with Jesper by his side forever? It sounded like an impossible dream.

And why did Jesper want that? Did he… Did he…

The possibility was too good to think about. Too wonderful to risk asking about. In his own head, he could imagine a future where they were more than just _business_ partners.

At last, the school came into view. Wylan sighed. He wanted to stay away for as long as possible.

Jesper’s strong arms wrapped around him in a tight squeeze, and he squeaked. “Sorry,” Jesper whispered into his hair. “I just want you to remember how great you are, before you go back home with that maniac.”

How could one person make the rest of the world fade away so easily? Wylan pressed his face into Jesper’s shoulder. “Thank you.” Then he reluctantly disentangled himself. “Today was so much fun.”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hastily grabbed his backpack and stepped around Jesper to get into the aisle first. The last thing he needed was for his father to see them together. He’d just pretend he was lonely, friendless Wylan on a trip to learn more about business. At least the truth made things easier to bear.

But when he got out of the bus and stepped onto the sidewalk, his father’s car was nowhere to be seen.


	17. Abandoned

Wylan looked around in confusion. They weren’t early. If anything, they were a little late getting back. His father was always punctual, especially when it meant getting Wylan back into the house where he could be controlled, and he’d double-checked their return time before he let Wylan out of the car that morning.

Could he have said the wrong time by mistake? Wylan’s vision blurred. If so, he was in so much trouble. But no, he _remembered_ what he said, he _had_ given the correct time, so what was going on?

All around, other students were heading home. Was he supposed to wait, or walk home on his own?

He could almost hear his father shouting at him for walking home alone. Or shouting at him for _not_ walking home. Either solution could lead to punishment if it wasn’t what his father wanted.

Jesper appeared by his side. “What’s wrong?”

“He’s not here,” Wylan said.

“Sounds like a good thing to me.”

“It is _not_ a good thing, because I don’t know what I’m supposed to do!” Wylan knew he sounded hysterical, but he couldn’t help it. He felt like he might cry.

Jesper touched his shoulder gently. “It’s going to be okay.”

He couldn’t possibly understand.

“I’ll wait with you. He’ll be here soon.”

Right. Wylan drew a deep breath. He was getting upset over nothing. Something probably just delayed his father, that was all. And in the meantime, Wylan got a little extra time with Jesper.

“Hey,” Jesper said, “come meet my dad.”

Wylan blinked. “What?”

“He’s been dying to meet you, and I should tell him why I need to wait around a little longer. So why not? You’ve got nothing else to do right now.”

He’d love to meet Jesper’s father—wait, why was Jesper’s father dying to meet him? what had Jesper said about him? did Jesper talk about him often?—but he couldn’t shake his fear that it would put them in danger.

Jesper nudged him. “I promise, if your father shows up, we’ll hide behind a tree or something. That car is distinctive. We’re not going to miss it.”

Wylan managed a hesitant smile. “Okay.”

He glanced around a few times to make sure the car wasn’t there, then followed Jesper down the sidewalk to where a red-haired man stood waiting with a slightly perplexed expression. His expression grew more curious as his gaze darted from Jesper to Wylan.

Shy and afraid of making a bad first impression, Wylan hung back and took another look around for his father’s car.

“Dad, this is Wylan.”

“Good to meet you, Wylan.” Jesper’s dad reached out to him. “I was hoping I’d get to meet the tutor who had such an impact on my son.”

Wylan blushed and shook his hand. “It was nothing, sir.”

“You can call me Colm or Mr. Fahey, whichever you’re more comfortable with.”

Jesper winked. “Or you could call him ‘Dad,’ if you want to get a head start.”

Mortified, Wylan kicked him in the shin.

Colm covered his mouth to hide a smile. At least he wasn’t displeased.

“Wylan’s father isn’t here yet,” Jesper said. “I said I’d wait with him.”

“You don’t have to,” Wylan said softly. “I’ll be okay. I don’t want to inconvenience you.”

Colm shook his head. “I wouldn’t feel right just leaving you here.”

As they waited together, Wylan’s anxiety faded. Colm was kind, and the way he spoke to Jesper made it clear he cared. Wylan wished he had a relationship like that. Times like these made him miss his mother even more.

Minutes passed. The remaining students left. Soon, they were the only three still at the school.

“I’d better call,” Wylan said.

“Or you could assume the worst and be forced to spend the night at my house,” Jesper said with a grin.

Wylan ignored him and got out his cell phone. His father was the only person he ever called, so he dialed the number without even needing to think about it. It rang. And rang. At last, he gave up and tried his father’s cell phone number instead.

Nothing.

“Uh…” Jesper looked awkward. “So if something actually did happen to him, I’m… sorry? I mean, if you’d be upset, then I’d be sorry.”

Colm gave his son an odd look, probably wondering why Jesper would hedge so much about being sorry if something happened to Wylan’s father. The phone in Wylan’s hand abruptly rang, and he glanced down at his father’s number.

“So much for that,” he said. He answered the phone. “Hello?”

“Something important has come up,” his father said, without any introduction. “You’ll need to manage on your own.”

“What?” Nothing like this ever happened before.

“Can’t you understand anything I say?”

His tone made Wylan flinch.

“For once in your life, act your age and take care of yourself.”

“Yes, sir,” Wylan whispered. He hung up.

Jesper looked worried. “What’s going on?”

“I’m on my own tonight.” Wylan tried to sound casual even though he felt like his world was fraying. “He can’t pick me up.”

“What now?” Jesper asked.

Wylan took a deep breath. “I guess I’ll head back to the house.”

“Do you have a key?” Colm asked.

“No, but there should be servants there to let me in. I’ll be all right.”

“Wylan,” Jesper began.

Colm spoke before he could finish. “We’ll drive you to your house and make sure you get in.”

Wylan hesitated. But nothing really could go wrong. His father wasn’t around to see, and unless he’d tracked down Colm’s car and gave a description to the servants, they wouldn’t be able to report back that he was with Jesper.

“All right,” he said.

Jesper looked relieved.

It felt strange to get into the Faheys’ car. He couldn’t remember the last time he rode in a vehicle that wasn’t their own, aside from the school bus. He gave Colm directions and tried to quell his sense of unease.

At last, they pulled up in front of the mansion. It was dark.

Wylan took a deep breath. “Thank you, Mr. Fahey.” He glanced at Jesper. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Jesper reached out and squeezed his hand. “I can’t wait.” He lowered his voice to a whisper. “That quiz is tomorrow. I’m going to get an A.”

Had he promised another kiss? Wylan couldn’t remember, but he didn’t care. He smiled, then hurried out of the car before Colm could ask why he was blushing at the thought of Jesper getting an A.

It was late. Wylan shivered and ran up the drive to the mansion doors. Even approaching the house alone felt strange. Usually his father was with him, keeping an eye on him.

He could run.

The thought made him freeze in front of the door. His father had left him to find his own way home. If he disappeared, no one could prove he left of his own free will unless they caught him. He could run far away and leave his father to believe he’d been mugged or something.

Except if his father suspected anything, he’d hunt him down. And Wylan wouldn’t dare meet with Jesper. That’s where his father would watch for him the most.

Wylan glanced over his shoulder at the street. The car idled by the curb. They must be waiting to make sure he got inside all right, because they were good and compassionate and all the things his father wasn’t. No, even if he had a chance of escaping, he couldn’t do it if it meant never seeing Jesper again.

He sighed and rang the bell.

After a few moments, he tried again. Strange. He glanced up at the dark windows. It almost looked like no one was home at all. His father rarely let the servants leave this early. There was always someone there during the night.

He rang the bell again. “Is anyone in there? It’s me, Wylan!”

Nothing.

A chill ran down his spine. Something was wrong. His father knew he didn’t have a key; he refused when Wylan asked for one. Either something happened to the servant on duty, or his father had intentionally sent him to the empty mansion knowing he couldn’t get inside.

After not picking him up, which he never did, and telling him he was on his own, which never happened before.

Wylan got out his phone and dialed his father’s number again. While it rang, he stared up at the dark mansion and tried to figure out what was going on.

At last, his father answered, his voice cold. “Didn’t I tell you I’m busy?”

“There’s no one inside. I can’t get in.”

“I fail to see how that is my concern,” his father said. “Haven’t you said you wanted more responsibilities? Haven’t you claimed to want to be on your own?”

But not like this, not standing in front of his own home with no way of getting inside. What was he supposed to do, pick the lock?

“Do not call me again tonight.”

Wylan’s heart rose to his throat. “Father, please—”

The line went dead.

He stared at the silent phone. When his father hurt him, he usually did so with a purpose. Mockery because he hated Wylan’s inability to read, or physical blows because Wylan made him angry. But this… this seemed unnecessarily cruel, like cruelty for cruelty’s sake.

_Didn’t I tell you I’m busy?_

Wylan slowly put his phone away. He felt numb. Maybe he just wasn’t worth bothering with anymore. His father had important business to take care of—something much more important than the useless son he didn’t want, left scared and shivering in front of a locked house.

His neck prickled. He looked from side to side, and then stared at the bushes that surrounded the mansion. Anyone could be hiding there, watching him.

He swallowed and tried to force down his concerns, but his unease only grew. Maybe it wasn’t just that he was unimportant. Maybe his father _hoped_ something would happen to him. Maybe he sent the servants away in the hopes that when he returned from his important evening, Wylan Van Eck would be a corpse reported on the news the next day.

Wylan hunched over, afraid he might be sick. His cheeks felt wet, and he realized he’d started crying.

A car door made him jump and whirl around, heart in his throat. But it was only Jesper, hurrying up the drive toward him with worry written across his face.

“What’s going on?” Jesper asked.

“No one’s home,” Wylan said. “I can’t get in.” He clenched his teeth in an attempt to stop crying, because he didn’t want to cry in front of Jesper. “And he doesn’t care.” Despite his efforts, his voice broke. “He doesn’t care what happens to me.”

Jesper stepped close and wrapped his arm around his shoulders. “ _I_ care. Come home with us.”

“What?”

“I’m sure Dad won’t mind. Spend the night at our place and go with me to school tomorrow, or if you’re not comfortable with that, I know Inej would let you stay with her.”

Part of Wylan’s mind whispered that he should protest. He didn’t want to burden them any further. He didn’t deserve their love and care. But as numb and scared and lost as he felt, he couldn’t stand the thought of letting them leave. To the contrary, he was sure he’d humiliate himself by begging them for help if Jesper hadn’t offered.

So he leaned against Jesper and nodded. “I’ll go with you.”

“Good.” Jesper squeezed him lightly. “A Van Calculus sleepover? This is going to be fun!”

Wylan forced a laugh. More time with Jesper was a good thing.

But as they walked away from the mansion, he couldn’t help but wonder what his father expected to happen when he left Wylan on his own.

# 

To Jesper’s relief, his dad agreed when Wylan explained his current situation.

“I can’t leave you out here with nowhere to go,” he said. “Of course you can spend the night at our place.”

“Thank you,” Wylan said. His voice sounded strained, like he was barely keeping himself together. “I’ll make sure to keep it a secret, so you won’t get into any trouble.”

Jesper met his dad’s gaze in the rearview mirror and mouthed, “Later.” He really didn’t want to explain the sort of monster Jan Van Eck really was while Wylan seemed almost traumatized by what had happened.

They slowly drove away from the Van Eck mansion and toward the road that would eventually lead to the farm.

Jesper wanted to be excited. After hoping so much for extra time with Wylan, he’d gotten his wish. But Wylan’s face was tight, and he kept making quiet sounds like he was desperately fighting back tears.

“Hey.” He reached out and touched Wylan’s leg. “Are you okay? You want to go, right?”

“Yes.” Wylan’s voice broke, and tears rolled down his cheeks. “It’s just… I kind of always convinced myself that he… that he did care, he just couldn’t show it right.” He stared down at his lap. “Maybe he kept me under such tight control to protect me, and hated that I can’t read because he wanted me to succeed. But… he doesn’t.” He squeezed his eyes shut. “He doesn’t love me.” He covered his face, and his shoulders shook. “He really doesn’t love me.”

The bruises and mockery were proof enough of that already. But Wylan kept repeating it like it was a revelation he couldn’t quite accept, so Jesper kept his thoughts to himself and rubbed Wylan’s back gently as they drove toward home.


	18. A Night With Jesper

Wylan’s tears eased as they got further from town. They drove down country roads past large fields, and then the car turned toward a distant farm. He straightened in his seat to peek out the window at Jesper’s home.

He drew a shaky breath. Burgeoning excitement replaced his pain. Yes, his father hated him and he had no idea what this meant for his home life… but he was going to spend the night with Jesper.

“Here we are.” Colm stopped the car.

Wylan got out and took a deep breath. The air smelled so different compared to the more populated areas. He turned in a slow circle to try to see everything, the crops, the animals, the farmhouse—and Jesper’s anxious expression.

Strange, he expected jokes about the rich boy being out of place on a farm, not Jesper staring at him like his opinion meant the world. “It’s beautiful here. Thank you.”

A grin replaced Jesper’s worried frown. “I’m glad you think so. We’re going to have so much fun tonight.”

“We have homework to do.”

“That can wait.”

“You need to study.”

Colm led the way to the door. “Wylan, I like you already.”

Wylan’s heart leaped. Jesper’s father liked him? Good. Maybe he’d approve of them. Part of his mind whispered that there was no “them” yet, and annoyance flared in his heart. With all the flirting they’d done, they _ought_ to be moving toward something. Earlier that week, he’d convinced himself it was better to not ask about the other boy’s true feelings and risk rejection, but he wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep this up.

“Fine, fine.” Jesper rolled his eyes. “I’ll do my homework.”

After such a painful evening, Wylan wanted to feel loved. And he couldn’t stand to keep pretending Jesper was just another guy to him, even with Colm right there. Everywhere he went, he had to lie—about his dyslexia, about his father, about his future. Being with Jesper was the only time he got to be himself. Why was this so different?

Before he lost his nerve, he brought his lips to Jesper’s ear the way Jesper had done to him a week earlier. “You know you want that A.”

Jesper froze. Then he turned so slowly that their lips nearly brushed. “I’ll get it,” he murmured, each breath a warm gust that made Wylan’s lips tingle. Then he pulled back and winked.

Face flushed, heart racing, Wylan followed him into the house.

Jesper bounded past his father. “My room is this way. You can share it tonight! Of course, I only have one bed, but what can you do—”

“We have a guest room,” Colm said over him. “You’re free to use it, Wylan.”

“Thank you.” Wylan grinned and stuck out his tongue at Jesper.

“Brat,” Jesper said.

“Pervert.”

“You love it.”

_I love you,_ Wylan thought, and hurried to say something else. “Do you have a desk?”

“Yes.” Jesper smirked. “It’s in my room.”

“Can I do my homework there?”

“You can do anything you want there. This way.”

Jesper led him to a small, cluttered bedroom. It had a desk along one wall and a twin bed in the corner, with piles of clothes and various items covering the floor in between. “This is where the magic happens.”

Wylan carried his backpack to the desk. “Tonight, this is where the homework happens.”

“Sorry about the mess.” Jesper opened the closet and shoved some of the piles into it. “If I’d known you’d be here, I would have cleaned up.”

“I don’t mind.” It felt authentically Jesper, and that gave the room a warm, safe feeling.

“Glad to hear it.” He flopped onto his bed and got out his phone.

Wylan watched him text for a moment. “What are you doing?”

“Telling my friends I’m having an impromptu Wylan sleepover!”

“Don’t forget about your homework.”

With a grin, Jesper put his hands behind his head. “There’s no escape with my tutor right here. How will you punish me if I don’t do it?”

“I won’t, but you’ve got a quiz to study for.”

The change was immediate. Jesper sat straight up and joined him at the desk. “I’ll do it, I’ll do it.”

Wylan laughed.

But Jesper didn’t. He seemed stiff, his knuckles white as he opened his textbook.

“Are you okay?” Wylan asked.

Jesper made a face. “Of course not, I’m doing math.” And just like that, he seemed normal again.

Yet for a minute there, something was definitely wrong.

# 

Study for Wylan. He had to study so Wylan would want him.

This was crazy, ridiculous, he couldn’t keep this up forever. But when he worked hard, it made Wylan happy, and doing well in school was the only way he’d get more kisses. Jesper desperately needed to become what Wylan wanted him to be. His heart ached at the very thought of not having Wylan.

The little sweetheart was absorbed in his own studies. He’d started listening to something through earbuds attached to his phone. Every so often, he’d stop and whisper under his breath, before making a note in his open textbook.

Temporarily distracted from his worries, Jesper edged closer to listen. “Are you… memorizing your book?”

Wylan opened his eyes and blinked. “Yes, why?”

Like it was the most natural thing in the world. “That’s my question. Why?”

“My teachers would get suspicious if I never read out loud in class. Sometimes I fake a coughing fit or say I’m not feeling well, but I try to volunteer whenever I have a section memorized. Volunteering makes it less likely they’ll pick me other times.”

Jesper stared at him.

“I mark the pages to help me remember which section starts where. It can be tough if we have a lot of reading, but that’s what the excuses are for. Plus some books, I just can’t find audio versions for. They’re too rare. So I have to do what I can.” He tapped his phone again and returned to his memorization.

“Wait a minute.”

Wylan took his earbuds out. “Yes?”

“You mean… for all of your classes, you memorize the sections that you might be asked to read out loud, so you can fake reading them… based on some sort of coded markings you put on the pages… and you actually _volunteer_ to do this so people don’t get suspicious when you make excuses to avoid parts you don’t have memorized?”

“Yes, that’s what I just explained.”

Jesper shook his head. “I could never do something like that. The effort you put into faking it… Wylan, how did you ever believe you were stupid?”

Wylan turned bright red.

Adorable little genius.

Over on the bed, Jesper’s phone buzzed with an incoming text message. It had been doing so for the past hour, while he tried to study, but he was starting to get sick of math. He stood to get his phone.

“You know,” Wylan said, his voice shy, “if my phone wasn’t monitored, I’d be able to text you. I know how to make a phone read messages out loud.”

Jesper blinked, then sat back down. There was far too little Wylan had confidence in himself about, especially when it involved his dyslexia, so if he wanted to show off, it was about time someone supported him. “Go on, show me.”

Still blushing, Wylan hurried to the bed and picked up Jesper’s phone. He studied it for a moment, and then his fingers flew over the screen.

Too late, Jesper realized his mistake.

“Sender: Nina Zenik,” his phone said in a robotic voice, “‘You go, Jesper. Hope you two have a lot of fun. Wink wink.’”

Wylan’s eyebrows flew up. “What exactly did you say in that message you sent?”

“Um, haha, well…”

“Sender: Kaz Brekker. ‘Keep the details of your sex life to yourself.’”

“Jesper!” Wylan looked mortified. “What did you _say_?”

So he’d gotten a little carried away from the excitement of spending the night with Wylan. He grabbed his phone. “How did you do this?”

“Sender: Matthias Helvar. ‘Make sure he gets a good dinner and goes to sleep early.’”

“Seriously, how did you make it do this?”

Wylan wiggled his fingers. “Magic.”

“Sender: Inej Ghafa. ‘Jesper, don’t you dare take advantage of him.’”

“Then _un_ -magic it.”

“Sender: Nina Zenik. ‘You’re quiet tonight. Busy with Wylan? Wink wink.’”

God help him, if Nina sent any more “wink wink” comments to be played out loud in front of Wylan, Jesper might die from embarrassment.

Not that the little darling seemed to mind. He was giggling like a maniac. What happened to the shy, innocent Wylan who blushed at the slightest innuendo?

“Wait a minute.” A horrible possibility struck fear into Jesper’s heart. “It’s not going to start reading messages _I_ sent, is it?”

Wylan gave him such a wide-eyed look of innocence, it had to be feigned. “Why, I don’t know. Is there something you don’t want me to hear?”

Oh, nothing much… except all the lovestruck messages he’d sent since they met, including some pretty embarrassing things he was sure he’d texted while drunk.

“Change it back!”

“What if I don’t?” Wylan asked, his tone light and teasing. “What are you going to do to me?”

Jesper hesitated, he didn’t want to do anything that could endanger their precious friendship in any way—

“Sender: Kuwei Yul-Bo. ‘We should hang out. Are you ignoring my texts?’”

—but the jealous glare Wylan shot at the phone made up his mind.

He lunged forward and closed the distance between them. “Make my phone go back to normal, Van Calculus, or…” He let the word hang ominously in the air as he lifted his hands. “I’ll be forced to tickle the answer out of you.”

Wylan laughed. “Do your worst.”

Challenge accepted. Jesper tackled him. He started with a gentle brush of his fingers along Wylan’s side, and the resultant squirming made him grin. Wylan _was_ ticklish. Good to know.

He yelped while being tickled. And flailed. And laughed so hard his whole body shook, until finally he lifted his hands and begged for mercy.

Jesper leaned over him, while a distant part of his mind warned that being on top of a blushing, squirming Wylan might not be the safest thing in the world. “You ready to change it back?”

“Yes, yes.”

Wylan’s impish grin made Jesper lean forward almost involuntarily. The other boy’s eyes fluttered half-shut. There was so little space between them, and all he could think of was how good it would feel to kiss him.

But he couldn’t.

It was the danger he hadn’t considered when they first made that deal—that if their kisses were rewards for Jesper doing well, he couldn’t afford to try outside of that. He had to prove he was good enough for Wylan first.

With someone else, someone he knew casually or just hoped to have fun with, he might have tried anyway with a light kiss to see what would happen. But not with Wylan. He didn’t dare risk it.

He reluctantly rolled off of Wylan and handed him the phone.

Something unrecognizable flashed across Wylan’s face, but it was gone in an instant. After a few taps, he nodded. “All done.”

“I better reply to these messages,” Jesper said.

“Yeah.” Wylan sounded oddly subdued.

“Are you all right? I didn’t offend you, did I?”

“No, it’s fine. I just need to memorize some more pages.” Wylan smiled. “And I think you still have homework.”

Jesper tousled his hair, which earned a surprised yelp, and then returned to the matter of his text messages. Strange. The phone hadn’t said anything else out loud after Kuwei’s message, and Wylan must have known that. So then why did he refuse to change it back? Did he enjoy embarrassing Jesper for a change?

Or did he want to be tickled?

With a sigh, Jesper returned to his homework and wished someone would write a textbook on how to understand Wylan Van Eck.

# 

Wylan’s homework spree seemed like it would never end. It was _tough_ to keep working that long to try to impress him. When Wylan finally set aside his books, Jesper nearly shouted for joy.

“Are you done too?” Wylan asked.

Technically, yes. He’d done as much of his mind-numbing homework as he could, and he studied for the math quiz until he felt like his head would explode. But it probably wasn’t enough. He wasn’t as smart as Wylan. If he had any hope of keeping pace with him, he’d need to study and study and—

“Jesper?” Wylan sounded worried. “Is something bothering you?”

Jesper couldn’t bear to admit he wasn’t the star student Wylan wanted him to be. He forced a laugh. “Nah, I’m done. Just marveling over your genius.”

Wylan blushed.

“What do you want to do now? Want to watch a movie before bed?”

“I don’t want to disturb your father.”

“Nah, Dad won’t mind. When I’m home, I watch a lot of TV. He either watches with me or goes to do something else.” Jesper grinned. “And don’t forget, Matthias ordered me to give you a good meal. How about popcorn?”

Wylan laughed. “Well, if you really want to.”

Like there could be any doubt. As they left the room together, Jesper wished he could spend the rest of his life like this.

His dad sat reading in the living room. He lifted his head as they entered. “Were you studying all that time?”

Jesper nodded. “Studying and homework.”

“I don’t know what you did to him,” he said to Wylan, “but keep it up.”

“Dad!” Jesper shook his head and headed for the kitchen. “Anyway, we’re going to make popcorn and watch a movie.”

His dad stood. “I won’t get in your way.”

Wylan shook his head. “I don’t want to put you out…”

“No, no, that’s fine. I’m sure you two kids would rather be alone.”

Jesper nearly dropped the popcorn maker on his foot. Just the way he said it, it sounded like the sort of sly implication Jesper himself would normally make. Was his infatuation with Wylan that obvious?

A few minutes later, the popcorn was ready in a large bowl. He took it the couch. “Your meal awaits, Van Calculus!”

Wylan smiled and sat down quite a bit closer to him than was strictly necessary. Their sides were pressed together. Their legs touched. Jesper could feel every movement Wylan made.

He reached for a handful of popcorn, and his fingers brushed Wylan’s.

“Oops,” Wylan said. “Sorry.”

Jesper glanced into his beautiful eyes and made a strangled sound.

“What’s on TV?”

“Um.” Why was he so close? Was he flirting? Jesper was used to being in control of these sorts of situations, but having Wylan take the lead threw him more off-balance than he expected. “Let’s find out.”

He flipped through the channels and tried to think about anything except how much he’d like to toss the popcorn aside and press Wylan down onto the couch.

“Here.” He stopped on a black-and-white movie in a vain attempt to distract himself. “It’s uh…” He brought up the information about the movie. “It’s a comedy. About… murder?”

“Sounds fun.”

“You’re into old black-and-white classics, huh?”

“Don’t you like them?”

Jesper would like pretty much anything if it involved Wylan sitting this close. “Let’s give it a try.”

It was difficult to pay attention with Wylan pressed against his side, but Jesper tried his hardest since Wylan seemed to be enjoying the movie. They finished the popcorn, and Jesper set the bowl aside. Maybe that would make things easier.

Wylan let out a contented sigh and snuggled against him.

Jesper froze.

Did he realize what he was doing? His gaze was on the screen, but he’d cuddled close as though it was the most natural thing in the world. A light blush colored his cheeks.

Jesper couldn’t resist. Not when they were like this. He cautiously lifted his hand to Wylan’s hair and ran his fingers through his curls.

Wylan melted against him and closed his eyes.

His heart skipped a beat. They sat like that for a long time, with him stroking Wylan’s hair and Wylan relaxed against him, until he couldn’t stand it any longer.

“Hey,” he said, his mouth dry, “I know I’m not the best student, but how good do I have to be for you? I mean, what can I do to… to make this more than just a game? If… if that’s even what you want. I mean… would you ever consider… being with me?”

God, he just had to start babbling when he tried to put his feelings into words. His way was always to make a joke and move on, not spill his heart out.

After a few seconds of silence, he swallowed hard. “Wylan?”

A soft snore was his only answer.

Jesper glanced down at his sleeping tutor and snorted. Adorable as ever. He glanced at the credits on the screen and turned the TV off.

Wylan shifted and opened his eyes. “Huh? It’s over?”

“ _Someone_ fell asleep.”

He turned pink. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” Jesper hesitated. “So, um… you didn’t hear my question, then?”

Wylan blinked at him. “I must have already been asleep. What did you say?”

Jesper froze.

If he asked, he’d have to hear the answer.

The answer was that Wylan’s standards were high enough that Jesper would always have to fight to reach them. The answer was that someone like Wylan Van Eck couldn’t make a life with someone like him, no matter how much they joked around. The answer was that it would never work out.

When high school ended, Wylan would go to college, or into business, or whatever else he wanted to do. And Jesper… would be nothing.

“Never mind. Just wondered if you were tired, but I guess I know.” He stood up and stretched. “Come on, I’ll show you to the guest room. We should get some sleep.”

He wasn’t good enough for Wylan. He never would be.

And eventually, Wylan would realize that.


	19. The List

Wylan woke up in the morning and blinked around at the unfamiliar room. Where—

Jesper’s house. After the field trip.

He glanced at the clock by the bed. It was still early. Good. He burrowed back under the covers and closed his eyes. When the school day came, this peace would end. He’d have to go home with his father in the afternoon like usual.

But for a few more precious hours, he could dream of staying with Jesper forever.

# 

When Wylan reluctantly got up for real and found his way to the kitchen, Colm was nowhere to be seen. Already working, he assumed. Wylan thought about him out there working on the farm and how much he loved Jesper, and blinked away tears. He wanted to stay with them.

“Boo!”

Wylan jumped, then turned and glared at Jesper.

“What’s going on in the mysterious mind of Wylan Van Calculus today?”

“Thinking about breakfast.”

Jesper’s eyebrows lifted. “You were that spaced out over food? I think Nina has been a bad influence on you, dear.”

_Dear._ His heart fluttered. “And wishing I could stay here.”

“Aw, I wish you could, too.” Jesper reached out to him, but then pulled his hand back and turned away. “You have a place here anytime you want. I know the others would say the same.” He snickered. “Well, Kaz wouldn’t, but if you showed up at his house, he’d grumble and complain and make a space for you.” With a grin, he walked to the kitchen cabinets.

Wylan followed him. “Why did you mention that yesterday?”

“Huh?”

“Outside my house. You said Inej would let me stay if I wasn’t comfortable staying with you. Why wouldn’t I be?”

Jesper’s hands trembled, and he grabbed a bowl from the cabinet as if to disguise it. “I… You know.”

And with that non-answer, he poured himself some cereal and walked into the living room.

Puzzled, Wylan did the same and hurried after him. “No, I don’t know.”

“I tease you a lot.” The other boy sat on the couch and avoided his gaze. “With everything I’ve said… I thought maybe you wouldn’t be comfortable spending the night with me.”

Wylan sat alongside him. The previous evening, he’d felt so warm and safe next to Jesper on the couch. He couldn’t remember the last time he felt that relaxed. “I’m always comfortable with you.”

Jesper blinked at him. For once, he looked speechless.

He was so close. So beautiful, so wonderful. And no one was around to see them. Wylan couldn’t wait for Jesper to do well on his quiz. That was stupid. On Monday when he’d asked for another kiss, Wylan should have kissed him and kissed him, and not stopped until Jesper knew how he felt.

Wylan took a deep breath to steady his nerves and leaned in—

—and Jesper started eating breakfast.

For a moment, Wylan just stared, stunned that his attempt got cut off by something so mundane. Then he shook his head and turned his attention to his own breakfast. He’d have other opportunities.

# 

Wylan had never ridden the bus to school before, so it felt strange to follow Jesper onto it. A few students already onboard greeted him—and followed it up with nasty comments about why the rich nerd was there.

A lie to save Jesper’s reputation was already on the tip of Wylan’s tongue when Jesper snapped, “You say one more word about Wylan and I’ll let you have it,” wrapped his arm around Wylan’s shoulders, and escorted him to a free seat.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Wylan said, dazed. “We could have just pretended it was a coincidence we were here together.”

 Jesper settled in alongside him with a frown. “I’m not ashamed of being seen with you.”

He ducked his head. “But… people will say things about you. You’re cool and popular. I’m just—”

Gentle fingers under his chin tilted Wylan’s head up again. “You’re amazing. Anyone should be honored to sit next to you.” Jesper winked. “Lying so you don’t ruin my reputation? That sounds like something your father would do. Give me a little more credit than that.”

Wylan laughed, more relieved than he wanted to admit. “Well, if you don’t mind sitting next to the nerdy weirdo—”

“You’re basically one of the Dregs now anyway. So they can keep their opinions to themselves or or they’ll have to deal with Kaz.”

He said the last in a slightly louder voice that silenced the rest of the whispers.

Wylan relaxed alongside Jesper for the ride to school. Strange, he never thought anyone would consider him part of any group, let alone the Dregs. Then again, they were an odd bunch. Two parts terrifying, two parts popular, one part puritan…

“I can see the wheels turning,” Jesper said. “Doing some mental math for fun, or what?”

Wylan elbowed him. “I was just thinking about the Dregs.”

“Mostly me, I hope.”

“How did the five you—”

“Six of us. You can’t get away that easily.”

“How did the _other_ five of you end up hanging out together?”

Jesper chuckled and rubbed his chin. “Well, let me see now… When I first started high school, the culture shock was, ah…” He cleared his throat. “Let’s just say that’s when I became such a mess.”

Wylan frowned. Self-deprecating humor was one thing, but when Jesper said things like that about himself over and over, maybe he really believed it.

“The drinking, the gambling, yep, it started then. I ended up in a whole heap of trouble, so of course I took it a step further and got mixed up with a gang. I was in way over my head, and every time I tried to leave, I somehow got in deeper. Then Kaz showed up. He said if I worked for him, he’d protect me from the gang. So I agreed. The rest of the gang is gone now. Expelled. Kaz shielded me, just like he promised.”

Wylan wanted to know more about what Jesper did for Kaz, but the next words out of his mouth made the thought freeze in his head.

“I had such a crush on him back then.”

“On _Kaz_?”

“Sounds crazy, right? Can you even imagine us together?”

He sometimes still found it hard to believe they were friends, let alone anything else.

“If Kaz ever figured it out, he never said a word to me about it, thank God.” Jesper shuddered. “Anyway, if we could please move on from my embarrassing past…”

“So you were the second?” Wylan asked. “Who was third?”

“Inej. She’d been kidnapped, and somehow Kaz got involved. The two of us got Inej out and he reunited her with her parents. They’ve been pretty much inseparable ever since, even though it’s like pulling teeth to get Kaz to admit to any human emotion.”

Wylan laughed. He could see that. On the other hand, he remembered how Kaz looked the day he warned Wylan not to hurt Jesper. He did feel emotions, even if he didn’t show them openly.

“Now, Nina and I got along as soon as we met, but things were trickier with Matthias. Their families hated each other.”

“Why?”

“Nina’s adopted, and her adopted family is…  Well, they’ve got lawyers, doctors, generals, fortune tellers—they’re all over the place, but they can’t stand overly religious types. So Nina falling head over heels for Mr. Missionary didn’t go over well, and _his_ family nearly had a collective stroke.”

“Missionary?” Wylan asked. “Matthias is a missionary?”

“He’s even been off in other countries doing that stuff.” Jesper shook his head. “Ask him about it sometime. He’ll talk for _hours_ if you get him started.”

Suddenly, Wylan wanted to. More than just curiosity, he wanted to know everything about these people who meant so much to Jesper, who accepted Wylan and treated him like someone to be valued.

“There was a whole mess of stuff between their families that really isn’t any of my business to talk about, but they ended up together again and Matthias reluctantly joined us.” Jesper smirked. “Now, the sixth member of the Dregs is a genius math tutor. Should I tell you about him? He’s pretty cool.”

Wylan kicked him.

Jesper laughed.

“What about Kaz?” Wylan asked after a moment. “Where did he come from? He didn’t just pop out of thin air to help you.”

“Kaz is a mystery.” Jesper winked. “Part of his allure when I was in that embarrassing phase, if I’m honest. He’s up front about the fact that he’s on his own—he’s even emancipated now—but he won’t say a word about his past. He just _appeared_ one day, and that’s the honest truth, not one of the Kaz Brekker Ghost Stories.”

“I can’t believe you had a crush on him, of all people.”

“I must like ‘em smart.”

Wylan blushed.

# 

Things were going so well, Jesper almost forgot about the disaster until lunchtime came and he saw Wylan sitting at his old table.

“I’m working on it,” Kaz said without looking up.

Jesper sighed. He was working on it, but could even they escape Jan Van Eck if it came to that?

“Hi!”

His heart sank, and sure enough, Kuwei slid into Wylan’s empty seat once again.

“I missed you yesterday, Jesper.”

Jesper glanced at him. “When did you decide we were friends, anyway?”

“Can’t we be?”

“You barely know us.”

“I want to get to know you better. Especially you, Jesper.”

Hostility radiated from Wylan’s table so strongly he didn’t have to look over there to know he was glaring.

“Are you a spy?” Jesper blurted.

Kuwei stared at him.

“Sorry.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “See, there’s been someone—”

“How did you know?”

Jesper blinked. “Um, what?”

“Did someone tell you about my father’s work? It’s classified, you know.”

“Ah…” He lifted his hands into the air. “Sorry for the misunderstanding. I was talking about something else.”

“Oh. Well, that’s good. You see, I can’t talk about it, because it’s all very secret.”

“Uh-huh.”

“My father works for the government, but we aren’t allowed to say anything.”

Inej raised one eyebrow. “Then maybe you shouldn’t—”

“It’s _very_ important work, which is why it’s so secret.”

From the look on his face, Kuwei was delighted at finally having gotten their attention with something, and he was going to milk it for all it was worth. And not only did Jesper not want to get mixed up in any classified government business, but he remembered Wylan’s evil grin when he mentioned Kuwei’s “‘I have a secret’ routine,” as he put it.

“That’s cool,” Jesper said. “Thanks for telling us. Hey Matthias, why don’t you tell Kuwei about your missionary work?”

Matthias lifted his head. His eyes lit up. “I’d be honored to.”

“Oh no,” Nina said. “Jesper, what have you done?”

Jesper cackled.

Kuwei didn’t get another word in for the rest of the lunch period.

# 

Wylan waited for Jesper in the library. His heart beat faster than usual. The last time Jesper had a test, he came in joking about how he deserved his kiss early. If he did the same this time, Wylan would take him up on the offer.

And drop the reward nonsense. God, he couldn’t play these games anymore.

The doors opened, and Jesper walked in. He looked a little down.

“Jesper?” Wylan’s plans vanished in light of the look on his face. “Are you all right?”

“Yeah.” The other boy sat across from him with a laugh that seemed forced. “I’m… I’m sure I did great on the quiz.”

“Oh?” Wylan closed his eyes and tried to muster Jesper-like bravado despite how badly he was blushing. “Um, early reward?” He puckered his lips.

Lord, he sounded like a complete dork, nothing close to Jesper’s smooth flirting style.

“You said you have to see the A first, remember?”

This _had_ to stop. Wylan opened his eyes. “Jesper, I…” Indecision made him freeze. If Jesper rejected him…

But they were friends, if nothing else. Jesper had just told his story about having a crush on Kaz. He knew what it felt like. If he didn’t return Wylan’s feelings, they could still be friends.

Wylan took a deep breath. “I want you to know that I—”

The doors opened.

He lifted his head, afraid of who it might be.

Kaz looked grim. He walked to their table and stopped. “Find something to do, Jesper. I need to talk to Wylan.”

“Could it wait?” Wylan asked, a little afraid of Kaz but still wanting to get his feelings out there.

“No.”

He sighed.

“Fine, I’ll go take a walk,” Jesper said. “If Kuwei steals me away, it’s not my fault.”

Once he was gone, Kaz sat in the seat he vacated. He passed a piece of paper across the table.

Wylan glanced down at the handwritten list. He sincerely hoped there was an explanation coming as well, so he wouldn’t have to explain why he couldn’t read it.

“They’re the ones reporting back to your father.”

His heart leaped into his throat. Even without being able to read most of the names, he knew this was bad. It was a _long_ list.

“Wylan.”

He looked up and met Kaz’s gaze. “Y-Yes?”

“Do you know your father told the school you’re prone to erratic behavior and paranoia?”

“He _what_?”

“As well as a few other concerns about your inability to properly interact with your classmates.” Kaz’s smile contained no humor. “It seems if you act even the slightest bit out of line, word gets back to your father… for your own good, of course.”

Wylan stared down at the list he couldn’t read and a cold chill swept across his skin. How long had people been reporting back to his father about him?

“I assume the paranoia claim is in case you come to school with any wild stories about abuse,” Kaz said.

Wylan squeezed his eyes shut.

“Teachers, staff, and a handful of classmates are all on that list.”

“Is Kuwei one of them?”

“No. Your father _did_ contact him recently, but as far as I can tell, Kuwei didn’t cooperate.”

Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all, even if he was trying to steal Jesper.

Kaz rapped his cane on the table.

Wylan looked at him.

“I don’t work for free. I got the information you wanted. Now it’s your turn to do something for me.”

“What do you want?” Wylan asked.

“Simple.” Kaz leaned back in his chair. “You don’t really have to do anything.”

“What is it, then?”

“I’m going to kidnap you.”


	20. The Plan

Surely even Kaz Brekker didn’t kidnap people, or if he did, he didn’t begin by announcing his plans in the middle of the library. Wylan stared at him.

“I believe your father has information I need. Therefore, I’m going to hold you for ransom.” Kaz shrugged. “Since you have no great love for him, I assume you’ll cooperate.”

Wylan’s heart sank. He shook his head.

The older boy’s eyebrows twitched. “You won’t be harmed. You could even hide out with Jesper for a while.”

Spending more time like yesterday evening sounded like heaven, but Wylan couldn’t agree to the plan in good faith. Kaz had treated him fairly, and he deserved an honest answer in return. “It won’t work.”

“Why not? I’ve planned it all out.”

“Because he…” Wylan swallowed and looked away. For a moment he was outside his empty house again, looking around in the darkness and realizing he couldn’t lie to himself anymore. “He won’t pay the ransom. He won’t give you anything no matter what you threaten to do to me.”

Kaz narrowed his eyes. “Van Eck is ruthless, but his reputation isn’t that cold.”

“He’ll put on a good show. Probably send the police out looking for me. Then he’ll talk about how he refuses to give in to the demands of kidnappers, all while secretly hoping you’ll kill me and save him the trouble.”

“You’re his _son._ ”

“Don’t hold it against me,” Wylan said, in a tone he hoped sounded lighter than he felt.

Kaz’s brow was furrowed, like this was the one outcome to the conversation he couldn’t have anticipated.

“I’m serious, Kaz. I don’t know what you want from him, but if I thought your plan would work, I’d go along with it. You’re Jesper’s friend… and more importantly, you welcomed me, too.” In his own special, brooding way. “But it won’t work. He hates me.”

For a moment, they just looked at each other in silence.

At last, Kaz spoke. “Why?”

Wylan blinked.

“Why do you believe he hates you so much he would want you to die?”

He looked away. Maybe if he didn’t say anything, Kaz would drop the subject and move on. Then he wouldn’t have to lie—or worse, be forced to reveal the truth.

Anger flared inside of him. What was the true reason he didn’t want to say it? Fear of his father? Despite the way Kaz acted, Wylan didn’t think he’d reveal his secret for no good reason. It wasn’t fear. It was shame.

Part of him still believed his father’s claims that being unable to read made him worthless.

Wylan took a breath to steady himself. “I’m dyslexic. Badly. I’ve never been able to learn how to read; I just disguise it in class. To my father, that means I’m an embarrassment holding him back.”

Silence.

He dared to look up. Kaz was frowning at him.

“But you’re his son,” he said yet again.

Wylan never expected Kaz Brekker to have a sentimental streak. “In his mind, I’m a burden. Now that Alys is having a baby”—again he stood on the doorstep, realizing he wasn’t worth any amount of effort—“he probably wishes I was dead.”

Kaz stared at him in silence for another long moment and then snorted. “Looks like we’ll have to turn to Plan B.”

“What’s Plan B?”

“That depends. How willing are you to work against your father?”

#

“We’re going to _what_?” Jesper asked.

Kaz shot him an irritated look.

“It’s all right,” Wylan said softly.

That almost made it worse. At least Kaz might be oblivious to just how horrible of a person Jan Van Eck was, but Wylan had to know they were playing with fire. Breaking into the Van Eck mansion…

“They’ll be out Saturday evening,” Kaz said. “It’s a formal affair, should take a few hours. The house will be empty, except perhaps for a few servants, because it’s the perfect sort of event for Van Eck to want his heir on display.”

Wylan’s cheeks colored, but instead of responding, he pulled out a notebook and began to sketch something.

“He says there are hidden microphones and possibly cameras as well, so we’ll need to wear disguises and stay as silent as possible.” Kaz spoke with the casual tone of one discussing a normal weekend’s plans, as if this sort of thing happened all the time. “Obviously if we do encounter Wylan, don’t give any indication that he collaborated with us unless you want to hand Van Eck his head on a platter. You’ll need to treat him as though we’re hardened criminals and he’s a stranger.”

Jesper glanced at Wylan. He continued to sketch with a steady hand, apparently undisturbed by Kaz’s comment. It looked like he was drawing blueprints.

Adorable little brat. Of course the guy who nearly fell to pieces at a few sly insinuations would be completely unfazed by this conversation. Jesper fought the urge to sweep him from his seat and kiss him.

Thoughts of kissing Wylan cast a gloomy pall over Jesper’s thoughts. He didn’t feel confident about the quiz. It would take a miracle to get an A.

No A, no kiss. That was the deal.

And that would be the end. Wylan would see he hadn’t really changed. He’d see Jesper couldn’t be the person he wanted him to be. He’d see—

Kaz rapped the table with his cane. “Are you paying attention?”

“Sorry.”

“If all goes well, this should be quick. We get in, we copy the information we need, and then we get out. Simple.”

“Copy?” Jesper asked.

Wylan finished his sketch at last and pushed it to the center of the table. “Main doors are here. My father’s office is here.” He circled the room in question. “Alys has a dog, but Rufus is a sweetheart who loves all humans, and he stays in his room when we’re all out anyway. Is there anything else you need to know?”

As he and Kaz went over the map together, Jesper watched in amazement. Maybe there was a tiny sliver of a diabolical criminal mind under all that innocence. It just made him want Wylan more.

Then he looked at the clock. His heart sank. It was a few minutes to four. “Wylan,” he said. “It’s almost time.”

Wylan looked as well. “Oh.” He sounded sad.

Jesper couldn’t bear it. “Maybe he won’t be there again, and you can come home with me.”

“I doubt it.” Wylan looked down at the floor. “I need to go. I can’t be late.” He stood, then stepped toward Jesper and abruptly took his hand. “On Monday, I need to talk to you about something important, okay?”

Jesper’s mouth went dry. “Oh.” He hated how tiny his voice sounded. “Okay.”

“Nothing bad.” Wylan squeezed his hand and gave him a shy smile. “I promise.” He glanced at the clock again. “I just… I don’t have the words… to do it in this little time.”

Relieved, Jesper stood and gave him a hug. “Then on Monday, we’ll talk about whatever you want for as long as you need.”

Kaz cleared his throat. “Focus on one thing at a time. We have a break-in to plan.”

# 

When Saturday evening arrived, Wylan put on his suit with trembling fingers. His father hadn’t said a word to him Friday about the field trip. It was like nothing happened at all. That was fine, he preferred that to a lecture… but it widened the gulf in his heart that had opened up Thursday evening when he realized his father really, _truly_ didn’t care about him.

A lump formed in Wylan’s throat, and he rubbed his eyes in irritation. He could practically hear Jesper asking why it took him this long to reach that conclusion.

It probably meant he’d still been trying to love his father all this time, and that annoyed Wylan even more. That had to change, and it would start tonight. Kaz would get whatever information he wanted.

Wylan finished putting on his tie and smiled to himself. It felt good, even if it was technically illegal, to know he’d done something to repay one of the students who offered him friendship.

Dressed and ready to go, he headed downstairs.

As he did so, he heard Alys’s excited chattering about her latest music lesson cut off by his father’s voice in the main hall. “Wait in the car. I’ll be with you in a minute.”

Wylan hesitated. Simple though it was, it filled him with a sense of foreboding. Sending Alys away often meant his father wanted to speak to him alone.

But he couldn’t do much about it, so he continued downstairs and braced himself as he approached his father.

His father’s gaze flicked over him with bored disinterest. “You don’t actually enjoy these events, do you, Wylan?”

Wylan stared at him. True, he hated them, not only because of how boring the conversations could get, but also because he wasn’t allowed to contribute anything—any attempt he made to join the conversation, no matter how much he paid attention or knew about the subject, was sure to earn a reprisal later. He just had to stand there on display, even more of a decoration than Alys was.

“There is no need for you to go tonight.”

He couldn’t possibly know their plans. It had to be colossal bad luck that he opted to leave Wylan at home on the night of the planned break-in.

“Won’t people ask questions if I’m not there, sir?” Wylan asked.

His father shrugged. “I’ll tell them you chose not to come. You’re old enough to stay home alone.”

That would sound quite reasonable if it came from a reasonable person. Wylan wondered if his so-called erratic behavior and paranoia would be used as the excuse.

“However,” his father said. “I don’t want anyone else to know you’re in here alone. You never know who might try to take advantage of such a thing.”

Wylan blinked at him in confusion.

“Therefore, you will keep all the lights off. Furthermore, you will not make a sound. I would prefer it if you stayed in your room until we return.”

Lights off, no sound, in short, he couldn’t do anything. He wouldn’t be able to use his computer, or practice music, or even do homework.

“Maybe I should go with you after all,” Wylan said.

“We both know you’d rather stay here.”

With nothing to do, while a break-in took place downstairs? Thanks to the microphones, he wouldn’t even be able to talk to Jesper. At least standing in silence among the stuffy businessmen had a _chance_ of something good happening.

And it would be practice for when he had to do it himself. Jesper’s comments about what a great businessman he’d be returned to Wylan’s mind and made him feel warm inside. Someday he’d be free and doing this on his own. With Jesper’s reassurance, he could admit to himself that he did enjoy it.

“I want to go.”

His father turned away. “Suit yourself. You can do what you like.”

Strange, he never gave in that quickly. Wylan took a step toward the door.

“By the way,” his father said, his voice casual, “how is Mr. Fahey?”

Wylan froze.

“Don’t bother denying it; I know that’s where you went Thursday night.”

“I had to go somewhere,” Wylan said, a tremor in his voice. “You left me on my own, sir.”

“Indeed. I do worry about how much time you’re spending with… Jesper, isn’t it?”

Wylan clenched his hands into fists.

“I don’t want to hurt them. I’d only act against them if I believed it was in your best interests. You _are_ making me worry about what sort of influence that boy has been.”

Wylan’s chest felt tight. “If I stay at home, sir, you’ll leave them alone?”

His father’s smile could almost be termed pleasant, under other circumstances. “Then I’d know you were still the obedient son I raised.”

So that was it. He’d hold a threat over Colm and Jesper in order to keep Wylan in line. Wylan forced a nod. “I’ll stay at home, sir.”

“Good. I knew you’d come around.”

At least it wasn’t anything too bad, but who knew what he might ask in the future? Without realizing it, he’d given his father greater control over him than ever.

“Remember,” his father said, “I don’t want to endanger you by letting anyone know you’re in here alone. Your safety is important to me.”

Liar.

“Lights out, stay in your room, don’t make a sound. Are those simple enough instructions for you to follow?”

Wylan gritted his teeth. “Yes, sir.”

“Good. We both know it’s for the best.” The pity in his father’s gaze was almost certainly false. “Since you’re never going to take over the business, we shouldn’t keep pretending.”

Then what was going to happen to him once he turned eighteen? If he wouldn’t be a figurehead, what would he be?

But he didn’t ask. Instead, he nodded and went upstairs to sit in the dark.

#

Wylan lay on his bed in the darkness and tried not to jump every time he heard a noise outside. Eventually Kaz and Jesper would show up, but if they were quiet enough, Wylan could easily pretend he never heard them break in.

Of course, he’d probably be punished… but that was preferable to attempting some sort of mock fight with Jesper.

He closed his eyes. His earlier panic had faded. Maybe whatever information Kaz was after would put his father in jail. That was a nice thought. He and Alys could get by fine on their own. They could even have friends to help.

And he’d have Jesper… Jesper would help him.

On Monday, he’d tell Jesper how he really felt. Maybe he’d get to kiss him again. It would be wonderful. Him and Jesper, together forever. The thought was enough to banish the rest of his fears.

He’d almost fallen asleep when he heard the gunshots.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, I don't like to interrupt the story flow too often (especially after a cliffhanger like that), but I'm making an exception this time. If any of you out there enjoy video games, in particular action JRPGs, I'd really appreciate it if you took a look at the game Destiny Chronicles on Kickstarter. Thanks!


	21. The Break-In

Wylan couldn’t breathe.

He’d stared out the window after the shots, desperate for any sign of what had happened, but although he saw some distant figures, they were too far away for him to figure out if they were Kaz and Jesper or not.

Nightmarish images kept flashing through his mind of an unknown assailant shooting Jesper. He wanted to go downstairs, but fear paralyzed him—what if he found Jesper’s body? The very thought made him cold and shaky.

Conflicted, he paced in his dark room until a new possibility occurred to him. What if he found Jesper alive but injured? If he didn’t go downstairs, his father would find him when he got home. That would be a disaster. If Wylan got there first, he could do something to help.

So he grabbed his flute case—hardly a practical weapon, but he didn’t have much on hand—in case someone other than his friends lurked downstairs, and crept out of his room. The dark hall gave no indication of what occurred. He held his breath and snuck down the stairs.

Then he turned on the lights.

Nothing.

He looked everywhere and even checked his father’s office, only to find it empty. Alys’s dog and birds were clearly distraught over the incident, but they were the only ones in the house. Whoever had been downstairs was long gone. Wylan breathed again.

Jesper would be okay. He had to be.

The door creaked, and Wylan froze. It was too late for his father and Alys to be back already. He wanted to run back to his room, but it might be Jesper. Even if Jesper had to threaten him for the benefit of any hidden cameras, like they planned, at least he’d know Jesper was alive.

Just in case, he lifted his flute case, prepared to throw it at any unexpected intruders.

The door opened, and his father walked in.

Wylan’s heart leaped into his throat.

Faced with Wylan prepared to throw a flute case at him, his father looked at a loss for words for once. Unfortunately, the mood passed. “What are you doing down here? I told you to stay in your room and keep the lights off.”

Wylan flinched. “I heard gunshots! I didn’t know what was going on, so I—”

“So you decided to come downstairs and fight the burglars, like you’d actually accomplish anything besides getting yourself killed?”

He could just as easily imagine his father yelling at him if he’d done the opposite, telling him he should have put his life on the line to prevent anything from being stolen.

“I gave you simple instructions. Stay in your room. Keep the lights off. Can’t you even obey something like _that_?”

He shrunk backwards. “I… I…”

“Of course you can’t. I should have known better.”

“Jan!” Alys darted past him and stood between them. “Why are you shouting at Wylan? Can’t you see he’s traumatized? This isn’t his fault!”

His father’s jaw clenched. The look in his eyes made Wylan’s stomach lurch. Things might go badly for both of them when the day came that he no longer needed to keep Alys happy.

She crouched in front of Wylan. “You’re not hurt, are you?”

“I’m fine. I didn’t even see whoever broke in.”

“And Rufus and my birds?”

He smiled. “They’re fine. Just scared.”

“Thank goodness. I was afraid this might be a petnapping.”

“No one breaks into a millionaire’s house to steal his wife’s pets,” his father muttered under his breath.

Alys looked indignant. “They could have held them for ransom!”

“As if I would pay—” He stopped, but the damage had been done.

“You wouldn’t pay to get my pets back?” Alys stared at him, wide-eyed. “You’d let them die?”

“No, I didn’t mean—”

“You would! You’d let them die!” She burst into tears and raced out of the room, shouting Rufus’s name along with promises that she’d never let him be killed.

Wylan’s father glared at him like this was his fault.

“What happened?” Wylan asked.

“A robbery. Obviously.” His father scowled. “What did you see?”

“Nothing. I just heard gunshots, like I said.” Wylan swallowed hard. “I suppose I’ll need to talk to the police.”

His father looked at him for a moment, and then his face grew calm. “That won’t be necessary.”

“What?”

“I know how much you hate confrontations and being put under pressure. You can stay upstairs in your room. You don’t need to speak to the police.”

Wylan blinked. “But since I’m the one who heard—”

“I’ll handle it, Wylan. Now stop arguing and go upstairs.”

#

If they survived this, Jesper was going to kill Kaz. “You said this would to be simple!”

“Just keep moving.”

“I got a part-time job this afternoon, you know. I’d really like to be alive for my second day at work!”

“Keep. Moving.”

Jesper obeyed, but he cast a surreptitious glance at his friend. With his leg, Kaz couldn’t run fast. He was managing a decent clip for the time being, and he’d be offended if Jesper offered to help, but it might become necessary. Regardless of Kaz’s issues about being touched, if it was that or be shot, Jesper would drag him the rest of the way.

Fortunately, as they got further from the Van Eck mansion, there was no sign of pursuit.

“Here.” Kaz beckoned him down an alley and opened a faded wooden door. It led into an abandoned building, which he entered as casually as if he belonged there.

Jesper followed and shut the door behind them. “What—”

“Not yet.” Kaz walked to the window. He looked out for a moment and then nodded. “All right. We’re clear.”

“What is going on?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t _know_?”

“No.” And from the tone of his voice, it irked him.

Jesper sank down against the wall to sit on the floor. “That was him, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. That was Pekka Rollins.”

Everything had started out smoothly. They arrived at the Van Eck mansion when night fell, and the entire place was dark. That boded well—no servants to worry about. They’d both dressed in black, with their faces covered, in loose enough clothes to make it difficult to judge their body types. Kaz got them inside with little difficulty. Everything was going according to plan.

It had definitely felt strange to walk through Wylan’s home under such circumstances. Still, at least he wasn’t there. Jesper would have felt sick pretending he was a criminal who didn’t care about sweet, gentle Wylan.

Wylan’s map proved accurate. Kaz located Van Eck’s office and from there went to his computer. He seemed pleased with whatever he found and copied the files to his flash drive. They’d just put the office back the way they found it and were about to leave when the mansion doors opened.

At the time, Jesper assumed it was Van Eck coming back early. But it wasn’t. It was Rollins, and while he seemed as surprised to see them as they were to see him, he apparently dealt with surprise by shooting.

Jesper took a deep breath and tried to stop shaking. Being shot at was not how he wanted to spend his Saturday evenings, thank you very much. “Why would he break into the mansion? Aren’t he and Van Eck working together? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Three possibilities,” Kaz said.

Jesper eyed him. He hadn’t figured out one plausible explanation for what happened yet, let alone three.

Kaz lifted a gloved finger. “One, Wylan sold us out.”

“No.”

“It’s only a possibility.”

“ _No._ ”

“You know his father is scum. If he suspected something, he might have forced Wylan to talk.”

The thought of Wylan being hurt and forced to reveal the plan made Jesper’s chest constrict. He jumped to his feet. He needed to get back to the mansion, or to wherever Van Eck went, or _anywhere_ until he found Wylan and made sure he was all right.

“Before you do anything stupid,” Kaz said, “that’s only one possibility and the one I find the least likely. Sit down.”

Jesper slowly sat. But his heart pounded. Wylan had to be okay. He had to be.

“Two, Van Eck hired Rollins as security. However, that makes no sense. Van Eck could afford top-notch security guards if he wanted protection.”

“What’s the third possibility?”

“Three, Rollins was breaking in for his own reasons, and it’s just a coincidence that we were there at the same time.”

“That’s an awfully big coincidence, isn’t it?” Jesper asked, still worried about Wylan.

Kaz shrugged. “He had his gun lowered when he entered. He didn’t react right away. He made no attempt to pursue us for any length of time. That sounds to me like a man who expected to be alone and acted instinctively when he saw us.”

“If he wasn’t expecting us, that means no one hurt Wylan.”

“Most likely.”

Not good enough. It wouldn’t be good enough until Jesper had Wylan in front of him to make sure he was safe and whole. Jesper drummed his fingers against the floor. He felt confined. He needed to get out, go somewhere—preferably to see Wylan, but if he couldn’t see Wylan, then he needed to gamble or drink until he could forget the terrible fear welling up within him.

“You’re not better.” Kaz’s voice was flat, his words a statement rather than a question.

Jesper jumped. “What?”

“You’ve had us all fooled, but you’re not over your addictions at all, are you? I can see it in your eyes.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” His friend had apparently read his mind. “I haven’t played cards or had a drink in weeks.”

“Only because you’ve become obsessed with Wylan.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

Kaz shrugged. “It’s your life.”

“Wylan is good for me. You’ve all said it.”

“Not if you’re suppressing your problems instead of solving them.”

“You’re one to talk,” Jesper said under his breath. Someone with as many issues and complexes as Kaz Brekker had no right to lecture anyone else on how they handled their personal problems.

And so what if he hadn’t actually solved his gambling addiction? As long as he devoted his energy toward Wylan instead, it was pretty much the same thing. Besides, he had a job. Tomorrow, he’d get his first paycheck. Then he could start building up his fund to save Wylan.

Jesper ignored his growing itch to find a card game and jumped to his feet. “Come on, let’s just get out of here.”

#

Wylan sat alone in his room. He couldn’t concentrate on anything. He kept thinking about Jesper and Kaz, and wondering if they were okay.

And why his father didn’t want him to talk to the police.

When the police car pulled up outside, Wylan hesitated, tempted to go downstairs and talk to them anyway. But it wasn’t like he _wanted_ to. If the police questioned him, he’d have to be careful to make sure he didn’t let it slip that he knew a break-in was supposed to occur. Talking to the police was actually the last thing he wanted to do.

All the same, it made him uneasy that his father suggested this. Was he going to use Wylan’s “erratic behavior” as an excuse, or what?

Finally, he compromised by leaving his room and sneaking out far enough to overhear the conversation. To his surprise, everything sounded pretty normal. His father explained that he and Alys were out all night, claimed a neighbor called about the gunshots—which could even be true; they arrived home early, after all—and said that nothing obvious had been stolen.

Maybe there was nothing to worry about.

They wrapped things up and headed to the door together. Just as the officer was leaving, Wylan heard his own name. He froze.

“No, Wylan wasn’t here at the time.”

“Where was he?”

“I don’t know,” his father said. “Actually, I haven’t seen Wylan all evening.”


	22. Belonging

Over the rest of the weekend, Wylan slowly relaxed again. Nothing came of his father’s claim that he hadn’t been at home, and he didn’t gloat about the intruders being caught. If Jesper and Kaz had been caught—or worse—he was sure his father would taunt him about it.

Still, when Monday morning came, Wylan asked other students until he located Jesper’s homeroom and waited by the door. The other boy had to arrive. He had to be all right. Wylan paced in the hall. Any minute…

“Wylan?”

He whirled around, and before he knew what he was doing, he wrapped his arms around Jesper in a tight hug. “Are you all right?”

Jesper squeezed him back. “Me? What about you?”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re sure? No one hurt you?” Jesper ran his hands down Wylan’s sides as if searching for injuries.

And while that felt _very_ good, they didn’t have time for it. Wylan stepped back.

“Oh!” Jesper pulled his hands away like they’d been burned. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to just start groping you.”

As if he’d ever been concerned about that before. Wylan ignored his inexplicable apology. “What happened on Saturday? I heard gunshots. So you’re all right? And Kaz, he’s fine too?”

“We’re both fine.” Jesper frowned. “But wait, the house was dark. I thought you were—”

“I was upstairs. I was…” Wylan shook his head, unwilling to explain what his father told him to do. “What happened?”

“Pekka Rollins broke in after us. If you have any idea why, Kaz would love to know.”

That man, the criminal, showed up at the mansion? He frowned. He never did find out what sort of deal his father made with Rollins. “Maybe my father was expecting him,” he said softly, as he thought about the odd insistence that the house remain dark.

And that Wylan stay at home. A cold chill swept over his skin.

No, he had to be overthinking things. It was a coincidence.

Jesper squeezed his shoulder. “You better get to class. If you’re late because of me, someone might report back.”

“You’re right.” Wylan stepped away, but paused. “And, um… don’t worry. No injuries. But if you don’t believe me, you can check me over when we’re in private!”

The shocked look on Jesper’s face was funny enough to make up for such an awkward flirting attempt.

#

Morning was Wylan’s favorite part of the school day. He got to attend math and then Economics, although all he could think about during his Economics class was how much he enjoyed the field trip with Jesper. When the teacher made an off-hand comment about going into business, Wylan straightened in his seat. Maybe it was a future he could make happen after all.

The first surprise came at lunch.

Wylan sat down at his usual spot, with an empty chair across from him and a table full of classmates who couldn’t care less about him, and staved off his sadness with the reminder that he was doing this for Jesper’s sake. He opened his lunch and started eating.

Then the chair across from him moved, and he looked up to warn Jesper away, only to find himself looking not at Jesper, but at Matthias.

“Hi?” Wylan tilted his head, wondering what this was about.

“It’s good to see you, Wylan!” Matthias sat down with his lunch as though they were old buddies and did this all the time. “I miss when you were able to sit with us. Jesper says you can’t anymore. Well, if you can’t come to us, then I will come to you!”

Wylan glanced from him to the Dregs’ table. “You don’t have to sit with me. I know you’d rather be with your friends.”

“You’re my friend, too.”

He ducked his head, unsure of how to respond to that when he’d gone so long without anyone who really considered him a friend.

Matthias lowered his voice to a whisper. “Your father can’t possibly object to you spending time with me.”

Wylan laughed. “Don’t underestimate him, he’ll find a way if he wants to. Religious fanatic trying to convert me, or something like that.”

“Hmph.” The other boy looked somewhat insulted.

But he had a point. If Wylan’s father tried to make a legitimate-sounding case for why Wylan couldn’t be around his new friends, Matthias would probably be the toughest to go up against. In a sense, he was the safest to be with in public.

“Thanks for sitting with me,” Wylan said. “I guess I was a little lonely.”

“No thanks needed. I told you, I missed you.”

 He ducked his head again. People didn’t _miss_ him when he wasn’t present. It just didn’t happen.

“I don’t know if Jesper has told you much about me,” Matthias said, “but I once had to deal with a very controlling authority figure in my life.”

Wylan blinked at him. “You did?”

“Yes. It’s difficult. You want to believe the best in them, and you find ways to rationalize their behavior.”

He thought back to his soul-crushing revelation on the doorstep. “Yeah.”

“There is always hope, Wylan. You’ll find a way out, and we’ll all be there with you.” Matthias cleared his throat. “And if you ever need a place to stay, I’ll take you in.”

Embarrassed, Wylan turned his attention to his food.

“Now,” Matthias said, his voice serious, “I have an important question for you.”

“Yes?”

“What are your intentions toward Jesper?”

Wylan choked on his sandwich.

“Are you serious about him? Does he know?”

“I don’t think he knows it yet.” His face heated. “But I’m… I’m going to talk to him about it soon.”

“Good. He’s more sensitive than he lets on.”

“I’m really new to all of this. I’ve never, ah…” He cleared his throat. “This is the first time.”

Matthias reached across the table and clapped his shoulder. “You can always come to me if you have any questions or need advice.”

Wylan wasn’t entirely certain Matthias had much more experience than he did on that front, but he appreciated the offer. All in all, it was a pleasant lunch.

#

The second surprise came after lunch, when he walked into History and found Inej sitting there.

“Oh, hi Wylan,” she said when he sat down. “I hope you don’t mind me sitting in on your history class today.”

“Uh…” He stared at her. “Is that allowed?”

“I got special permission. This is an area of history that particularly interests me, so I’m here to offer my own insights.”

“Does this have any connection to Matthias sitting with me at lunch?”

Inej flashed a smile. “Jesper said you’d catch on. We miss you, so we agreed that if you can’t risk being with us, we’ll have to find ways to come to you.”

There it was again, the claim that they missed him. Wylan hurried to get out his books to hide his embarrassment.

“I don’t know the whole situation,” she said, “but it sounds like things are rough for you at home.”

“Yeah.”

“We’re all here for you. You’re not alone anymore, Wylan.”

Wylan glanced up at her. “When I first met you, you were worried about Jesper. Now you’re worried about me instead?”

“I can worry about both of you. Besides, he’s doing much better lately. Although…”

“What?”

She shook her head. “Never mind.”

“But there is something, isn’t there?” Wylan thought back to the brief break in Jesper’s composure the night after the field trip. “Sometimes he seems… sad. Or… tense, or something.”

“Jesper would be quick to say he has nothing in common with Kaz, but they both hate to show weakness.” She smiled. “But if Jesper will open up to anyone, it’s to you.”

#

By Chemistry, it wasn’t so much of a surprise when, a few minutes into the lecture, Nina arrived with an excuse about needing to review the current lesson and took a seat right next to Wylan.

“Hey, Wylan. How’s your day going?”

“Much better than I expected,” he said with a smile.

“Good.” She leaned close and winked. “Looking forward to your tutoring session?”

He blushed. “I always do.”

“You and Jesper are so cute together.”

Wylan blushed deeper, but it didn’t feel bad. Did all of the Dregs recognize his feelings for Jesper so easily? At any rate, they seemed to approve.

“We miss sitting with you.”

“You’re the third person who’s told me that today.”

She shrugged. “You’re nice. It was fun to have you around.”

After hearing it so many times, he could almost believe it.

Throughout the class, his thoughts strayed to Jesper. The odd behavior he’d witnessed, Jesper’s explanation of how he first met Kaz, Matthias’s comment about him being sensitive, Inej’s claim that he wouldn’t show vulnerabilities…

When class ended, he turned to Nina. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure, what is it?”

“Did you know Jesper before high school?”

“We weren’t friends back then, but I knew him.”

“What was he like?”

“Different.” She laughed. “I honestly expected him to become a nerd. He paid attention in class much more, and I think he got pretty good grades.”

Wylan nodded. “Thanks.”

So Jesper used to be quite different. Then high school came, something changed, and he ended up in major trouble until Kaz found him. Now he was studying at Wylan’s request, but something was bothering him that he didn’t want anyone to see.

The pieces were starting to come together.

#

It was a little disappointing when English came and went without any surprise guests in his class, but Wylan shook off his loneliness. The Dregs couldn’t spend all their time finding excuses to see him—that would quickly become as obvious as him sitting with them at lunch.

Still, it was nice to know they cared. For the first time, he felt like he had a place where he really belonged.

As Wylan headed to the library, he turned on his cell phone and noticed he had an email. Strange, he almost never got email. Probably either spam or something related to his classes. Maybe something from the field trip.

Jesper wasn’t there yet, so Wylan sat down at their usual table and checked the email. His phone quietly read the contents out loud to him. An anonymous sender had given him the audiobooks for everything on his English syllabus he hadn’t been able to find on his own.

Who could have…? He checked the address, but it sounded like gibberish, a throwaway email account made to send this message and then never be used again. And whoever it was managed to find _his_ email address even though he never gave it out except for official purposes.

Well, there weren’t many people who had the means to obtain rare audiobooks, would be able to find his email address, _and_ knew about his dyslexia. Maybe Kaz wasn’t as cold and uncaring as his reputation claimed after all.

Wylan smiled and settled back to wait for Jesper.

And his kiss.


	23. Don't Be Afraid

Jesper trudged into the library. This was it.

This was the moment he’d dreaded.

He couldn’t look at Wylan, not with that C on his quiz paper. He’d tried so hard, and for what? Everyone saw his reaction, too. His classmates saw him get a lower grade and knew he was upset by it.

If he laughed it off, then everything could go back to normal… but he’d never have Wylan, and he wanted Wylan more than all the popularity and praise in the world.

“Is something wrong?” Wylan stood up and hurried around the table to stand in front of him. “What happened?”

“Got my quiz back.” Jesper tossed it onto the table. “So much for the new me.”

“It’s all right. We’ll take a look at the problems you got wrong, and—”

“No thanks. I’m done.”

“Done?”

He forced a laugh and avoided meeting the other boy’s gaze. “It was stupid to think it would work. I’m just plain old useless Jesper Fahey, and that’s all there is to it.”

“You’re not useless.”

He squeezed his eyes shut. “I wanted to do better for you, but nothing changed. I’m not… I’m not what you—”

Soft lips ghosted across his mouth, tentative and exploratory.

Jesper froze. His heart hammered. All the people he’d kissed, and yet this clumsy, unskilled kiss had him feeling like he might fall down. He opened his eyes just as Wylan pulled away. “You said only if I got an A.”

Inwardly he cursed himself as an idiot. All the seductive things he could have said, and he picked _that_?

Wylan stepped back, pink-cheeked but smiling. “I know you tried. That’s all I want, for you to try your best.”

This had to be a beautiful, glorious dream. Jesper stared at him, unable to speak.

A shadow crossed Wylan’s face. “No one ever told me that. I don’t want you to feel the pain I felt.”

“Wylan…”

“It’s okay to fail, Jesper.” Wylan looked up into his eyes, his gaze gentle and kind. “Don’t ever be afraid to try. It’s okay if there are things you can’t do.”

How had he ever thought this guy was an arrogant brat? Jesper’s heart was so full of need for him, he couldn’t bear it. He glanced away and tried to keep his tone light. “Aren’t you going against a thousand motivational speeches? You’re supposed to say ‘you can do anything you set your mind to’ and stuff like that.”

“But sometimes you _can’t_.” Wylan walked to the table and pulled his English textbook from his backpack. He opened it to a random page. “I struggle so much to read something like this. Does that mean I’m just not trying hard enough?”

“Of course not.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say. I want you to try. I want you to put forth your best effort. But if you still can’t do it, it’s okay _._ You’re not a failure and you’re not useless.” Wylan put down the book and stepped close to him again. “Don’t be afraid.”

“I’m not—” The protest died on Jesper’s lips.

He _was_ afraid. He’d been afraid ever since high school started, when his grades slipped and he realized he might fail. The fear of failure had haunted him ever since, until he convinced himself it was better to fail because he didn’t try, than to try and fail because he wasn’t good enough.

He’d been afraid ever since he saw where his future was headed, until he decided it was better to give up entirely and go out on his own terms.

And he’d been afraid ever since he looked at Wylan and saw someone he couldn’t live without, someone who could shatter his heart if he didn’t protect himself.

“I’ll try,” he whispered. “Thank you.”

“Do you want to go over the quiz, or not today? It’s up to you.” Wylan’s gentle gaze broke down the few barriers he had left.

“First, I have to ask you something.”

“What?”

Jesper’s mouth was dry, but his lips still tingled. “Why did you kiss me? Was it just to motivate me or make me feel better? Was it because my friends asked you to help me? Or…” He didn’t dare say the other option.

When Wylan spoke, his voice was barely above a whisper. “I like you a lot.”

Oh.

_Oh._

“Do you…” Jesper swallowed. “Do you want to kiss me again?”

“That’s what I wanted to talk to you about.” Wylan met his gaze, blue eyes filled with worry. “Do you want to kiss _me_ , or do you just want to kiss _someone_?”

A joke rose to Jesper’s lips, but he hesitated. As easy as it was to hide behind jokes, it might ruin everything. Worse, it might hurt Wylan. He’d rather do anything than that. Don’t be afraid of failure, Wylan said. Don’t be afraid to try. Jesper stared into the other boy’s face. The price of failure felt like too steep a cost, but the price of not trying was worse.

“You,” he whispered. “Only you.”

“Oh.” Wylan drew in a sharp breath and stared at him with wide eyes. “Me too.”

With an opportunity like that, Jesper couldn’t resist. “You want to kiss yourself too? I don’t know, Van Calculus, that’s pretty—”

Wylan silenced him with another kiss.

#

Things like this didn’t happen to Wylan.

He pulled back and looked into Jesper’s eyes. The excitement on his face made Wylan giddy. Jesper acted like this was everything he ever wanted. How could _Wylan_ be everything he wanted? No one wanted him, especially not someone like—

Jesper crushed him close and tangled his hand in Wylan’s hair. Then it was like their first kiss again, with Jesper’s tongue making him feel things he never thought possible as his knees wobbled and he clutched the other boy’s shirt. Wylan felt clumsy, a novice trying to keep up with a master, but Jesper’s other hand on his back steadied him. It didn’t matter if he messed this up, as long as it was happening.

_Don’t be afraid to try_ , the advice he’d given just moments ago. A giggle rose in the back of Wylan’s throat and he tried to mimic what Jesper was doing to him.

Jesper’s hand slipped from his hair as he reached for something behind him, then he pulled out a chair and sat. Wylan tumbled with him and landed in Jesper’s lap.

The sudden movement reminded him of where they were. He pulled his face away—with difficulty, because every nerve of his body was on fire with Jesper pressed against him—and checked to make sure the library was still empty.

It was, but for how long? Just because the librarian didn’t normally stay didn’t mean someone couldn’t walk in at any moment.

Kisses along his neck made him melt. Maybe it didn’t matter. Who really cared if someone saw them? Let everyone know Jesper wanted him and him alone. Their classmates, Jesper’s friends, everyone.

The informants.

His blood turned to ice. “Jesper.”

“Wylan.” Jesper nuzzled his neck and kissed him again.

“ _Jesper_ ,” he said a little more insistently.

“I love hearing you say my name.”

How could someone be so attractive and so exasperating at the same time? Wylan fought the urge to melt against him and reached up to touch Jesper’s cheek. “We need to stop.”

The sheer pain in Jesper’s gaze was like a lance through Wylan’s heart.

“I mean we need to stop doing it _here_ ,” he quickly clarified. “Someone might see us.”

“Don’t scare me like that,” Jesper said, his voice a little shaky. “If I have a heart attack and die, I won’t be able to kiss anymore, and that would be a tragedy this world isn’t prepared for.”

Wylan trailed his fingers along Jesper’s jaw. “Then take me somewhere private so you can keep kissing me.”

“Your wish is my command.” Jesper eased him down and stood. “Where to?”

Wylan tried to concentrate despite his pounding heart. “We could shut ourselves in a closet.”

“That’s a bit on the nose, don’t you think? Besides, have you seen our school’s closets?”

“Any better ideas?”

“The bathroom is private.”

Wylan wrinkled his nose. “Ew.”

“How about the roof?”

“Are you crazy?”

“It’s perfectly safe.”

“We have different definitions of safe.”

“All right, I’ve got it. It’s the perfect spot. There’s a place just outside the school. It’s in the shade, no one can see you from the outside.”

Wylan hesitated.

“It’s close to the door. Close enough to get you back inside when the time comes.”

The risk bothered him, but this was worth it. He smiled. “Okay.”

Jesper grabbed his hand and tugged him out of the library. Wylan followed with a smile. He felt like singing. They crept through the halls, careful not to let anyone see them, until at last, they reached the exit.

“This way.” Jesper led him to an alcove shaded by trees.

The moment they were safely hidden, Wylan pushed him against the wall and kissed him.

“Ooh,” Jesper murmured against his lips, “someone’s excited.”

Wylan answered with kisses instead of words. He’d wanted this so badly for too long. He kissed desperately, and Jesper responded with another kiss that showed him just how inexperienced he was in comparison. His knees buckled, but he didn’t stop. They kissed until they were out of breath, and even then, one look at the other boy’s face was enough to drive him forward to kiss him again.

At last, they separated and stared at one another, panting.

Jesper spoke first. “Does this mean… That is, do you want to go out with me?”

Wylan felt a huge grin spreading across his face. “Yes. Oh yes, _yes._ ”

A matching grin appeared on Jesper’s. “You’re sure? Even though I’m not the best student and I have some problems and I—”

“ _Yes._ ”

Jesper tugged him close in a fierce hug.

He was warm. It felt so good.

“Don’t worry,” Jesper said, “we’ll keep it a secret. I won’t let anyone find out.”

There was a touch of sadness in his voice, enough for Wylan to pull back so he could look up into his eyes. “If I wasn’t afraid of my father hurting you, I’d want the entire world to know about us.”

“You mean that?” Jesper asked.

“Yes.”

“What about my dad? And our friends? Can I tell them?”

Wylan’s heart swelled at the fact that they were _their_ friends. “Of course.” He grinned. “As long as Kaz won’t sell the information.”

“I think he’d rather shoot his own foot than help your father.”

Good. He wanted to say more, but every minute they spent talking was another minute of not kissing Jesper. He’d spent too much time already not kissing Jesper to let more go to waste.

So Wylan kissed him again, harder than before. They didn’t have enough time together. He wanted more of this, every day.

Jesper returned his kisses furiously, almost frantically. “God,” he murmured when they parted for breath, “I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

His words sent an electric thrill through Wylan. “Me too.”

“Seriously? Then why did we wait?”

“I don’t know.” Wylan kissed him again.

Jesper caught his hair again, almost hard enough to be painful, except that it couldn’t be when Wylan’s entire body was alive with the need to feel him. Somehow he ended up with his back against the wall, and a brief flash of anxiety crumbled as quickly as it came, because this was Jesper and he’d always be safe with Jesper.

“Oh,” Jesper said with a sly edge to his voice, “aren’t I supposed to check you over for injuries?” His fingers played with the edge of Wylan’s shirt.

Wylan leaned into his touch. “Yes.”

If only Jesper wasn’t so _tall_. It was hard to keep standing on his tiptoes, but he couldn’t reach his lips if he didn’t. He compromised and kissed Jesper’s collarbone, which earned a surprised gasp.

“What?”

“Getting bold, Van Calculus.”

“You bring out the best in me.”

With a soft chuckle, Jesper bent to kiss him again. Wylan returned it eagerly. He didn’t want this to end. Even as it became familiar, it was still dazzling and startling. He could never get tired of this, ever.

The ringing of his cell phone barely pierced the fog. He wanted to shut the world out and drown in Jesper’s presence, ignore everything else until nothing else remained.

But the sound persisted, and finally he pulled away with a sigh to check what he assumed was a wrong number.

Instead, his father’s cell phone number flashed on the screen. Wylan looked at the time. It was almost four, but not quite there yet. He certainly wasn’t late. A cold ball of dread formed in his stomach, and he answered the phone. “Hello?”

“I’m at the school, Wylan. Where are you?”


	24. The Favor

Wylan caught his breath, frozen with his fingers clenched around the phone. The library. That was what he should say. Except if his father had already gone to the library and knew he wasn’t there…

Jesper leaned close to whisper into his other ear. “Chemistry lab.”

“I’m in the Chemistry lab,” Wylan said, even as he gave his boyfriend a panicked look.

But Jesper wasn’t looking at him. He had his phone out, and his thumb flew across the screen.

“The Chemistry lab?” A cold edge to his father’s voice made Wylan stiffen. “I’m on my way.”

Wylan ended the call and shoved his phone into his pocket. “Jesper, are you crazy? We can’t possibly make it to the Chemistry lab before him!”

“Have a little faith in me, Van Calculus.”

“You have a plan?”

Jesper grabbed his arm and tugged him out of the alcove. “Don’t you remember? Thanks to my accident, the Chemistry lab has to be kept shut while an experiment is in progress. No one is allowed in.”

“But there _isn’t_ an experiment in progress.”

“There will be by the time your father gets there. Come on!”

Confused, but willing to trust Jesper, Wylan raced after him as he pelted around the side of the building. His heart hammered. Even if they kept his father out of the Chemistry lab for a few extra minutes, they couldn’t get inside the room without being caught.

When Jesper stopped running, Wylan nearly ran into him. “There.” He pointed up. “That’s the Chemistry lab’s window.”

Horrified, Wylan stared up at the second-story window and then at the brick wall and then at Jesper. “You’re not suggesting we climb up there, are you?”

“Do you have a better idea?”

No. With a sigh, he rested his foot against the bricks and flinched as he imagined himself slipping and falling all the way to the ground.

Jesper squeezed his shoulders. “Not yet. I’d like us to get through this in one piece, you know. Just give it one minute.”

For what? But he trusted Jesper, so he waited despite his questions.

A moment later he had an answer. Inej raced down the sidewalk and joined them. “You need my help with an emergency? What’s going on?”

Jesper pointed at the window. “Wylan’s father is outside the Chemistry lab right now. We need to get up there.”

She looked at Wylan.

He forced a weak laugh. “Even if I fall and break every bone in my body, it’ll be better than if he catches me out here.”

She sighed. “All right. Follow me, and do exactly what I say. Are you ready?”

He looked up at the wall he was about to climb. He thought about his father, mysteriously showing up to collect him from the school early.

He turned to face Jesper.

“What’s—”

Wylan cut off his question by kissing him, firmly enough to remind him that the past hour hadn’t been a dream. Jesper was his boyfriend, and no one could take that away from him. Then he turned back to face Inej, and met her gaze despite the heating of his cheeks. “Okay. Now I’m ready.”

#

Jesper crawled through the window after Wylan and collapsed on the floor of the lab. Climbing was more strenuous than he expected. Inej had to be some sort of superhuman to do that all the time. Once he caught his breath, he lifted his head.

The lab door was shut, thank God. As he’d requested—well, _begged_ , really—Kuwei stood by the door and explained in a patient tone that he couldn’t open it until they finished the experiment.

“I don’t care about your stupid rule,” Van Eck snapped from out in the hall. “Open this door right now!”

An almost imperceptible quiver ran through Wylan at his father’s shout. The sight filled Jesper with the burning desire to punch Van Eck’s face in.

“The last person who barged in on a Chemistry experiment got acid splashed in their face.” Kuwei kept his voice calm and steady, but glared at them and waved his hands frantically toward the lab tables. “I wouldn’t want to be responsible for that happening to you, Mr. Van Eck.”

Wylan started setting out Chemistry equipment. Jesper helped as fast as he could. Inej pitched in as well, until finally the lab table looked like they’d just finished a series of experiments.

She gave them a thumbs-up and departed through the window. Jesper shut it and returned to the lab table.

Wylan had put on a pair of goggles, and darn it if he wasn’t the cutest thing ever with his goggles on. Jesper beamed at him—how had this adorable ray of sunshine fallen into his life?—until the glare he earned in response reminded him that he couldn’t look lovesick when Van Eck entered.

So he pulled on his own goggles and tried to look studious instead.

Kuwei opened the door.

Van Eck burst in and glared around at the lab like he expected to find evidence of wrongdoing. A wave of pure hatred crashed onto Jesper. He ground his teeth and stared at the lab table so he wouldn’t have to look at that man. That man who hurt Wylan. That man who left him feeling unloved and unwanted. That man who told him he was worthless.

“Wylan,” Van Eck began, his tone cold.

“I—” The fear in Wylan’s voice made the hatred burn stronger.

But Kuwei jumped in before he could say anything. “I’m so, so sorry, Mr. Van Eck. This is all my fault.”

Jesper glanced at him in surprise.

So did Van Eck. “ _Your_ fault?”

“Yes, sir.” Kuwei bowed his head. “I have been tutoring your son’s math student in Chemistry, but I’m afraid I’m not very good at it yet. I wanted Wylan’s advice, so I asked him if he would come up here for a few minutes to help with an experiment. I never meant to cause any harm, sir. Please forgive me.”

Van Eck stared at him like he didn’t know what to make of him. Finally, he said, “Don’t let it happen again. Wylan stays after school to tutor the boy in math. Nothing else.”

Jesper ducked his head to avoid making eye contact.

“It will never happen again,” Kuwei said.

“Good. Wylan, we’re going home.” Van Eck walked to the door, then paused. He looked at Kuwei. “I hope you’ve been considering our earlier discussion.”

Kuwei nodded, but said nothing.

Strange… Jesper frowned. After they went over the plan on Friday, Kaz told him Van Eck had made contact with Kuwei, but that Kuwei seemingly hadn’t cooperated with him. Did Van Eck still hope to get him to spy on Wylan?

Wylan scurried to the door after his father, but glanced back at Kuwei and mouthed, “Thank you.”

Kuwei gave him a thumbs-up and leaned against the lab table with a casual grin.

It hurt to let Wylan walk away, but there was nothing Jesper could do. Once they were gone, he let out a long sigh. “Thank you.”

“I did you a pretty big favor,” Kuwei said.

Jesper got out his phone. “Uh-huh.” He needed to send some texts. First to Inej, to assure her that everything worked out, and then to all of the Dregs to tell them the good news, since he had Wylan’s permission.

“So you kind of owe me one.”

“Uh-huh.”

It should be a calm message, something that sounded mature and reasonable and—oh, who cared about that?

_WYLAN AND I ARE DATING OMG YES YES YES YES YES!!!_

Jesper sent the message to the Dregs and grinned at the screen, hardly able to believe he could type those words in complete truth.

“Are you listening?” Kuwei asked.

“Sorry.” Jesper lifted his head. “Right. I owe you one. What do you want?”

“Go out with me tonight.”

“ _What_?”

“Go out with me tonight,” Kuwei said again.

“But… But Wylan and I are…”

He glanced at the hallway. “Wylan can’t spend the evening with you, can he?”

“No, but—”

“I can.”

“Okay, but I don’t want to—”

“I did you a _huge_ favor.”

Jesper groaned. “Fine. But this is one time, you hear me? One time.”

Kuwei grinned like he’d won a gold medal. “I’ll start making plans.”

Great. This felt like a disaster waiting to happen.

Then replies started coming from the others.

First, Inej: _I’m so happy for you!_

Then Kaz: _I told you, keep those details to yourself._

But for some reason, Nina called instead of texting. Jesper answered. “Hello?”

“What do you mean, you and Wylan started dating?”

He blinked. Of all of his friends, he thought she would be the most on board with the idea. “What’s wrong with that? We both like each other, so why not?”

“Are you seriously trying to tell me you two weren’t dating before today?”

“What? Of course we weren’t. I wasn’t even sure he liked me—”

Nina’s hysterical laughter cut him off.

“What’s so funny?”

“You mean,” she said, in between bouts of laughter, “all those times you two sat at our lunch table making goo-goo eyes at each other, you weren’t together?”

“I have never made ‘goo-goo eyes’ at anyone in my life.”

“I know goo-goo eyes when I see them.” She started laughing again. “I honestly thought you spent your tutoring sessions making out and just restrained yourselves at lunch. And you didn’t _know_ if he liked you? I’m surprised the sexual tension didn’t cause an explosion!”

Jesper grinned. He liked the thought of explosive sexual tension between him and Wylan. “Thanks.”

As he ended the call, he thought back to the way Wylan had kissed him right before starting the climb. He liked the idea of a bolder Wylan willing to make a move on him. He’d worried about what things would be like between them if they took this step, but maybe everything would be okay after all.

Another text had come while he was talking to Nina. It was from Matthias, offering congratulations and mentioning that he’d attached a helpful guide.

Jesper looked at the guide. It was titled “Couples’ Guide on Staying Chaste Before Marriage.”

He groaned so loud Kuwei gave him an inquisitive glance, but he just shook his head and started to type a reply. _Why do I still talk to you?_

Before he could send it, another message from Matthias came.

_RULES FOR DATING WYLAN:_

  1. _Clothes remain on at all times when you are together. If you must use the same locker room or bathroom, one of you must wait outside until the other is finished._
  2. _You will have Wylan home by 8:00 PM. (Note: I know this rule may not apply, due to Wylan’s home situation.)_
  3. _Your hands will not go below Wylan’s waist._
  4. _When you and Wylan are sitting together, be it on a couch, in a car, or in any other location, neither of you will assume a horizontal position._
  5. _You will not date other people while dating Wylan. If you make Wylan cry, I will hunt you down._



Jesper stared at the lengthy message.

Then he deleted the reply he’d been about to send, and in its place, wrote, _What on Earth was that?_

Matthias’s reply came almost immediately. _His own father won’t watch out for him, so someone has to do it!_

Jesper laughed. Annoying or not, it was actually sort of sweet. He sent a quick message to Nina warning her that her boyfriend had apparently adopted Wylan.

“Are you done?” Kuwei asked. “We have work to do.”

“Fine, fine.”

It was a decent Chemistry lesson, although nowhere near as much fun as it would have been with Wylan. Still, despite Jesper’s irritation toward Kuwei for pressuring him into a pseudo-date, he had to admit he’d softened toward the other boy after how he helped them.

Finally, the session came to an end.

“Come on,” Kuwei said. “Let’s get out of here.”

“Yeah, fine.”

Jesper glanced through the congratulatory texts from the Dregs once more. At least it would only be a day before he saw Wylan again. But first, he had a “date” with Kuwei.

For both of their sakes, he hoped the others never found out.


	25. The Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be away during the usual time I'd post the new chapter, so instead of posting it late, I decided to post it tonight instead. Now you can enjoy Jesper's terrible life decisions even earlier! ;)

Wylan was tense for the entire ride back from the school.

When they got home and his father headed toward his office without a word, he couldn’t stand it anymore. “Why did you show up early, sir?”

His father’s expression gave nothing away. “Your behavior lately has concerned me. I felt it was time I checked up on you personally.”

So he wanted to catch him and Jesper in the act. Wylan slowly exhaled as he thought about how close he came to doing just that. “I’m sorry about going to the Chemistry lab, sir. When Kuwei asked me—”

“I understand. Don’t let it happen again.”

There was an odd note in his voice. Wylan burned with curiosity about what was going on between his father and Kuwei, but he knew better than to press the issue. “I won’t, sir.”

With a mental note to thank Kuwei again and give him anything he wanted—well, except Jesper—Wylan went upstairs to his room.

Alone, his worries faded. In the privacy of his room, it was easy to forget his concerns for the future and his father’s threats. Despite the situation, he felt better than he had in ages.

Whenever he closed his eyes, he could feel Jesper’s arms around him, his warm lips on his skin. Wylan tried to do his homework, but he couldn’t concentrate.

Instead, he got out the song he was writing and worked on that. His newfound joy inspired him as he dreamed of the day he could play it for Jesper.

#

“So,” Kuwei asked over the party’s loud music, “are we having fun?”

Jesper shook himself out of a reverie about Wylan’s hair. “Sure we are. This is a fun place.” He waved his hand around at all the people dancing and eating. “See? Everyone’s having fun.”

A note of hope entered Kuwei’s voice. “Do you want to dance?”

“You can if you want. I don’t really feel like it.”

Kuwei sighed. “I think I’ll just get some food…”

As he left, Jesper rested his elbows on the table. They’d been sitting in the same spot ever since they arrived. First they’d gone out for dinner, and then Kuwei let him pick what they did next. This club was a popular party spot, and it was Jesper’s best idea for how to put in some effort for the poor guy without doing anything romantic.

He’d spent many evenings there before, sometimes with company and other times on his own, always having a good time. It had been quite a while since his last visit. He’d missed it. Sort of.

Except the feeling in his heart wasn’t happiness, but rather yearning for Wylan. He wanted to gaze into Wylan’s eyes. He wanted more of his clumsy, heartfelt kisses. He even wanted to go over the quiz together.

Wanting to talk about math was a sign of just how far gone he was.

“I’m back!” Kuwei sat down with two plates of snacks. “I brought you some, too.”

“No thanks.”

As much as Jesper wanted to enjoy himself, it wasn’t as much fun as it used to be. Things would be different if Wylan was there. He’d…

He wouldn’t like it, would he?

It wasn’t Wylan’s sort of thing. He might tolerate it for Jesper’s sake, but he’d be quiet and uncomfortable, wishing they were somewhere else. And Jesper wanted to be with him, making him happy.

Maybe he’d changed more than he thought.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Kuwei asked, his tone gloomy.

“Sorry,” Jesper said.

“I don’t see how he’s worth your time when he can’t even be here with you.”

Jesper glared at him. “That’s not his fault. It’s his father’s.”

“Can’t Wylan—”

“No, he really can’t.”

“His father is that bad?”

“Yeah.”

Kuwei frowned and rubbed his chin. “Would you say he’s an evil man?”

“Yes.” _Evil_  was a strong word, but when Jesper thought about Wylan’s fear and the abuse he suffered, it didn’t seem strong enough. “If you hadn’t helped us today… I think things would be really bad for Wylan right now.”

The other boy started eating, but he looked lost in thought. “Van Eck… Van Eck… What kind of name is that?”

“What?”

“Is it German?”

“I don’t know.” Not only had Jesper never thought about it much before, he didn’t know why Kuwei was thinking about it now.

“No, that’s _von_ ,” Kuwei said under his breath. “Van Eck… It must be Dutch. He’s Dutch.”

“Does it matter?”

“Of course it matters! I thought the Netherlands was one of our allies.”

Jesper stared at him. “This has nothing to do with whether or not our countries are—”

“I thought he might be an enemy agent, but I couldn’t figure out who he’d be working for. The Netherlands? It doesn’t make sense, especially if he’s as evil as you say.”

Oh, right. Kuwei’s spy obsession. Jesper had almost forgotten about that. On the other hand, this was the most interesting turn their conversation had taken. At least it would give him something to do besides mope and wish he was with Wylan. “Fine, I’ll bite. Why do you think Van Eck is an ‘enemy agent’?”

Kuwei looked happier than he had all evening. He leaned forward. “I can’t really say much about this—it’s classified information, you know—but my father is involved in secret government work. Don’t ask me what it is, because I won’t be able to tell you.”

“I won’t ask anything.”

“No one can know what he does.”

Jesper nodded and waved his hand for him to continue.

“Anyway”—the other boy glanced around, then leaned closer and lowered his voice as though he thought enemy spies might have infiltrated the party—“Mr. Van Eck contacted me recently and asked for details about my father’s work.”

Wait… was he serious about this?

“Naturally, I refused, but then he contacted me again. This time, he asked me to set up a meeting with my father. You see, my father avoids contact with the outside world, since his work is so secret. I handle all calls. Of course, I refused again. Yet he keeps asking. He even offered me a great deal of money.”

Jesper stared at him.

While Kuwei’s dramatic concern about spies had to be exaggerated, he sounded completely serious about the actual events that took place. And that afternoon, Van Eck _had_ referenced some sort of offer he made to Kuwei. Jesper assumed it was about spying on Wylan, but given how little time the two spent together, that didn’t make sense.

But then, neither did this.

He shook his head. “Van Eck wants to meet with your father about his secret government work?”

“Shh!” Kuwei waved his hands frantically. “Not so loud. There could be spies anywhere.”

“Right. Uh, sorry about that.”

“And yes, that seems to be the case. Mr. Van Eck also indicated a third party might be involved. That’s why I was trying to figure out what country he’s working for.”

“That’s… weird.”

And creepy.

And uncomfortable.

Jesper’s unease about Wylan living in that house was growing stronger by the minute.

#

Alys’s increased interest in her music lessons meant she practiced almost constantly these days. While that did get grating after a while, it also brought an unexpected benefit: Wylan’s father couldn’t object to the sound of music until he knew which of them it was.

So Wylan sat at the piano, carefully playing through the start of Jesper’s song. It wasn’t quite ready yet, but it was shaping up well.

Footsteps made him freeze and prepare to flee, but it was Alys.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “Am I interrupting?”

“No, it’s all right.” Wylan stood and gathered his music together. “I was about to leave anyway.”

She joined him at the piano. “‘For Jesper’? What does that mean?”

He hid the composition behind his back. “It’s, um, just the name of a song.”

“I’ve never heard of it before. I could ask my teacher—”

“Don’t do that! It’s… That is…” He glanced down at the floor. “I wrote it.”

“You wrote a song? Oh, Wylan, that’s amazing. Wait until Jan hears about—”

“No!” Horrified, Wylan shook his head. “No, don’t tell him. It’s… It’s a secret.”

He anticipated a long, confusing argument, but instead she nodded. “He doesn’t understand music the way we do.”

“That’s right,” he said, relieved. Once, he wouldn’t have counted on Alys to actually follow through with keeping a secret, but ever since his father’s implication that he wouldn’t pay a ransom for her pets, she hadn’t been quite as oblivious to his faults. “Let’s make it our secret.”

“Our music secret!” She clapped her hands together. “Can I hear it?”

Wylan flushed. “What?”

“Isn’t that what you were playing when I walked in? Please, let me hear more.”

“All right…” He sat at the piano again and started to play.

“Oh Wylan, it’s beautiful! What does the title mean?”

Sweat rolled down the back of his neck. “It means, uh… well, I don’t know. You have to call it something, right?”

“It’s much cleverer than anything I’ve come up with. My music teacher asked me to write a song, and I just called it ‘Untitled Song.’ ‘For Jesper’ sounds so much nicer.”

Wylan managed a weak smile. “So you’ve been writing music too? Can I hear some of yours?”

“Yes!” She sat down next to him.

There was nothing Alys liked better than to practice. She picked up her music folder and searched through it until she finally pulled out a sheet of paper, which she set on the piano.

It was a basic C scale.

She played each note very carefully and then turned to Wylan.

He clapped politely. “It’s a good start.”

“I’m so happy you think so.” She played the scale again.

And again.

“You really like music, don’t you?” he asked.

“I do. I hope the baby turns out as musical as you.”

He smiled. It was a nice thought.

Harsh footsteps disturbed their peace, and Wylan flinched as his father entered the room. “What’s going on here?”

“I was showing Wylan what I’ve learned.” Alys played the scale again. “I wrote this myself. I call it ‘Untitled Song.’ What do you think?”

He ignored her and crossed the room to the piano. Wylan scrambled to his feet. He wanted to hide Jesper’s song, but he didn’t dare reach for it.

“You should be studying,” his father said.

Wylan lowered his head. “Yes, sir.”

“Thank you for listening to my music,” Alys said with a pout.

“Any time.” He edged toward the door. “Keep practicing, and you’ll do great.”

His father frowned, his gaze on the partly-written composition. “What is that?”

Wylan’s heart stopped.

But Alys grabbed Jesper’s song and shoved it into her music folder along with her scale. “My teacher wants me to have this memorized by next week. I can’t believe he’d ask me to do so much work!”

Wylan breathed again.

His father snorted and shook his head. He started toward the door.

Alys met Wylan’s gaze and winked. He smiled back. Maybe music really was the one thing that got through to her. Or maybe she’d finally noticed the danger in his father’s voice. Either way, the song was safe.

# 

“Sorry I wasn’t more fun,” Jesper said outside the club.

Kuwei shrugged. “I get it.” He kicked at a stone on the sidewalk. “You only want Wylan. I have no chance.”

Jesper reached out and clasped his shoulder. “I really do appreciate what you did for us today. And you know, I think we can be friends. So cheer up, all right?”

“I’ll try.”

“And if Van Eck does anything else weird, let me know.”

“I will.”

Well, that hadn’t been terrible. As Kuwei left, Jesper stretched and started down the street. In the morning, he’d go to school and see Wylan again, and probably kiss him some more. He grinned at the thought. And if Van Eck really _was_ up to something as shady as Kuwei’s story implied, then they might be able to take him down after all.

Even if that failed, there was still hope. While Jesper’s part-time job wasn’t exactly paying big bucks, he had his first salary to put toward his ‘Save Wylan’ fund. If necessary, they’d run away together.

Things were looking up.

Walking through the streets alone at night felt strange. It used to be Jesper’s regular routine—drinking, gambling, and partying the night away. Being there again after so long made him feel odd. A little restless.

Kaz’s admonition from the other night rang through his mind, but he shook it off. Once he was with Wylan again, everything would be all right.

“Hey, Jesper!”

He jumped and blinked at the boy who beckoned to him from a nearby alley. “What’s up?” He recognized the guy, although he didn’t know his name. They went to some of the same parties together.

“Where’ve you been? We haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I’ve been busy.”

“There’s a big poker game tonight.”

Jesper swallowed. He didn’t want to go back to that life. “Sorry, I have to do something.”

“Come on, can’t you join in for a hand or two? We all miss you.”

Of course they did, because they always won his money. He took a deep breath and tried to focus, suddenly too aware of the money in his pocket from his part-time job. But that money was for Wylan.

Not that it was enough. Who was he kidding? He could work for a whole year and still not have enough to help Wylan escape his father.

But a few bets—just a few—could double that money. Maybe even triple it.

Then he could save Wylan. He could get him away from his father and they’d be safe and happy together.

One bet, maybe two or three, depending on how his luck was. It shouldn’t take long.

“All right,” Jesper said. “Lead the way.”

Just a hand or two.


	26. Absence

Wylan went through his morning classes the next day in a happy daze. It was only a matter of time before he saw Jesper and could kiss him again, and even if they _didn’t_ kiss, just having him nearby made everything feel better.

But when he got to lunch, Jesper’s seat with the Dregs remained empty.

As on the previous day, Matthias joined Wylan at his table, so he wasted no time. “Where’s Jesper?”

The larger boy shook his head. “He’s absent today.”

“Oh.” Unease made Wylan’s stomach clench. “Is he okay?”

“We haven’t gotten in touch with him yet, but I’m sure he’ll respond to one of us soon.” Matthias reached out and patted his arm. “Try not to worry about him.”

Wylan managed a weak smile.

It couldn’t be his father’s doing. He didn’t know about the kiss, or Jesper’s role in the break-in, or anything else. It had to be a coincidence.

But he didn’t like not knowing why Jesper was absent.

# 

“Have you heard from Jesper?” Wylan asked the moment he reached History and saw Inej sitting in on their class again.

“Not yet.”

He took a deep breath and tried not to panic. If Jesper was sick, maybe he didn’t feel up to responding to messages. Or maybe he had a doctor’s appointment. There were countless reasons why he wouldn’t answer his friends that didn’t involve him hurt or _disappeared._

“Kuwei said he was fine last night.”

Wylan lifted his head and gave her a sharp look. “How would Kuwei know that?”

“Apparently they went to some sort of party after school and then split up in the evening. That’s what he said, anyway.”

“Oh.”

It was the only word Wylan could manage. He grabbed his notes and made a show of trying to find the right page, while the world blurred around him and his heart pounded. After all of Kuwei’s efforts to steal Jesper, they’d gone out together. _Out._ To a party. While Wylan was trapped at home, Jesper was out having a good time with another boy whose intentions toward him were hardly a secret.

While Wylan was composing music to convey his love, Jesper was at a party with someone else.

The images haunting him of Jesper sick or hurt or in danger faded into thoughts of Jesper laughing, having a good time with Kuwei despite all the sweet, sentimental things he’d said to Wylan after their kiss.

“Wylan,” Inej began.

“I need to take notes,” he said, and stabbed his pencil into the notebook so hard it cut through the first five sheets and then snapped.

Inej reached out and caught his arm. “ _Wylan._ ”

“What?” he asked, his voice harsher than he intended.

Her gaze was gentle. “When two people are in a relationship, they have to learn to trust each other.”

His first inclination was to snap at her, but he hesitated. He thought about the mingled hope and fear in Jesper’s eyes when they kissed, and the look on his face when he thought Wylan wanted to stop, and all the warm, tender things he did when they were together. The reading, the cuddling, the promises.

Wylan let out a long breath, and the pain eased.

“I trust Jesper,” he said. “I just…” He struggled to sort through the feelings that assaulted him when he thought about Jesper and Kuwei together. “I wish I could have been with him. And I know I couldn’t be, but thinking of him spending that time with someone else still hurts.”

“That’s natural.”

He took another deep breath and let it out. “I know he wouldn’t betray me.”

But it was hard to escape the nagging conviction that someday Jesper would find someone better and realize he didn’t want to be stuck with Wylan after all.

“If it helps,” she said, “here.”

She handed him her cell phone, open to a specific message. Wylan froze. It displayed yesterday’s date, so it couldn’t be a response from Jesper. He looked at the message and then looked at Inej.

It had been terrifying when Jesper found out his secret, but he felt so much better afterwards. It had been difficult to tell Kaz, but even he hadn’t scoffed.

“I can’t read,” Wylan said softly, and it was easier to say than he expected. “My father makes me keep it a secret, so only a few people know. What does it say?”

Inej looked surprised, but took her phone back. “It’s the message Jesper sent yesterday to let us know that the two of you had started dating. It’s in all caps, and the ending is just ‘yes, yes, yes, yes, yes’ with three exclamation marks.”

Wylan blushed. “So you think he really likes me?”

“I think you know the answer to that.”

He did. It felt good.

#

By the time Chemistry arrived, Wylan had almost forgotten his concerns. He sat down and smiled at Nina, hardly even surprised she was there again. He was dating Jesper and he had friends. Life was good.

Her worried expression snapped him out of it.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

She hesitated.

“Is it about Jesper?”

Nina sighed. “I, um, got in touch with his dad. He says Jesper never came home last night.”

“What?” Wylan jumped to his feet.

“This isn’t the first time it’s happened, you know.”

But it wasn’t supposed to happen anymore. Jesper was over that life, wasn’t he? Wylan sat back down and forced himself not to fidget.

“We’ll find him,” Nina said. “We always have before.”

But why would he do it again? They were _dating_. Arrogant though it might be, Wylan couldn’t help but think that Jesper shouldn’t need to go out and drink now that they were dating.

And what if it wasn’t that? What if it was his father?

To Wylan’s relief, it was a lab day in class. He hurried to their usual lab table and thanked whatever good fortune had given him Kuwei as a lab partner.

The moment the teacher let them get started, he cleared his throat. “You were with Jesper last night, weren’t you?”

Kuwei’s shoulders slumped. “You don’t have to gloat about it.”

Wylan blinked. “Um, what?”

“He’s in love with you. He was no fun the entire time.”

Wylan’s face grew hot. “I wasn’t trying to, uh, gloat. I just wanted to know if you have any idea why he didn’t go home last night.”

“He didn’t?”

“His dad says no.”

Kuwei frowned. Then he looked around and beckoned Wylan closer. “Maybe the other spies got him.”

“The _other_ spies?”

“Besides your father.”

“Since when is my father a spy?”

“Shh!” Kuwei lowered his voice even further. “Be careful. I told Jesper he was a spy and he disappeared. What other explanation is there?”

Wylan’s stomach clenched. Given the alternatives, the possibility of Jesper out partying was starting to look like the best he could hope for.

# 

When the end of the day came, Wylan trudged to the library by himself. He had nothing to do there without Jesper, but he couldn’t bring himself to go home early. The tutoring sessions began as an escape, and he still needed to make use of that.

He was only in the library a minute when the doors opened and Kaz walked in. “I need to talk to you.”

Wylan’s heart leaped. “Did you hear back from Jesper?”

“Not yet.”

Oh.

Kaz sat across from him and regarded him for a moment in silence. At last, he spoke. “Your father isn’t a very trusting man, is he?”

Wylan frowned. “I suppose not. Why?”

Again, the other boy was quiet for a while before speaking. When he did, his voice was even softer than before. “I took that data from your father’s computer because I hoped to find the information I needed to finally get Pekka Rollins.”

“What do you mean?”

“Rollins always gets away. He never leaves evidence that can be traced back to him. He always has an alibi, or evidence conveniently vanishes. When I learned he was working with Van Eck, I hoped there might be some saved communication that would implicate him.”

“But you didn’t find anything?” Wylan asked.

“Oh, I found it.” Kaz laughed without humor. “Almost too much.”

He didn’t sound happy about that. That made no sense. While Wylan didn’t know what his vendetta was about, he seemed eager enough to get Rollins. “I don’t understand.”

“Your father _is_ working with him, and he’s saving information. He has so many incriminating things saved, I barely needed to look.”

Wylan blinked. “Why would he do that?”

“Two options.” Kaz lifted a finger. “Either he has a deep sense of justice that hasn’t shown itself until now—”

“No.”

He lifted another finger. “Or he’s planning to throw his so-called ally under the bus.” He shook his head. “Maybe it’s insurance, in case someone ties their dealings back to him. Or maybe his plan from the start was to use Rollins and then pin everything on him. No doubt he’ll pretend it was all a trap to catch a dangerous criminal.”

“Why are they working together?” Wylan asked.

“I don’t know. That’s the one thing there isn’t information on.” Kaz’s smile was more than a little unsettling. “And that’s very interesting, because it’s probably what definitively ties your father into this.”

Disturbing, to say the least. Wylan didn’t like to think about his father working with a criminal, and the fact that he was ruthlessly preparing to betray him somehow made it worse.

Kaz’s phone buzzed, and his eyebrows lifted. He checked his phone.

A terrifying change came over his face. It made Wylan’s blood run cold, especially since he appeared to be the target of it. “Kaz? What—”

That was as far as he got before Kaz moved around the table and grabbed him by the throat with one gloved hand. “I warned you not to hurt Jesper.”

Fear of Kaz was only overshadowed by the sudden concrete realization that _something happened to Jesper._ “What is it?” Wylan choked out. “Did my father do something?”

“Your father?” Kaz released him. “You swear you didn’t do anything?”

Wylan rubbed his neck. “Not unless saying I want to date him counts as hurting him.”

The murderous gleam faded from Kaz’s eyes, but he still looked angry.

“What happened?” Wylan asked.

“Jesper went on a drinking spree last night. He never went home. He’s still there. And when I asked him why, he finally responded with a single word.” Kaz pointed an accusing finger at him. “Your name.”

But that didn’t make any sense at all. “If… if he changed his mind about me,” Wylan said, despite how painful the words were, “I’ll understand. Or if he thinks I’m angry about Kuwei, I know nothing happened.” He hesitated. “If something _did_ happen, I… I just want Jesper to be okay.” He swallowed hard. “Tell him we can be just friends, or boyfriends, or whatever he wants, just as long as he’s okay.”

Kaz typed something into his phone and sent the message.

“You can’t possibly have typed everything I said that fast.”

“I summarized.”

Wylan had a feeling the message Kaz sent was nothing close to what he said, but then again maybe he shouldn’t be surprised Kaz wasn’t going to be the middle-man for messages of love.

The phone buzzed.

He nearly jumped across the table at Kaz. “Was that him? What did he say?”

Kaz scanned the message and frowned. “Did you lend him money?”

“What?” Wylan thought about the shares they won from the field trip. “Technically, in a way, but I don’t think he’s had enough time to actually get it.”

“All he said was ‘I lost Wylan’s money.’”

“That doesn’t make sense.”

“I’ll ask.” After a too-long moment and another reply, Kaz shook his head. “Incoherent.”

“What?”

“Something garbled about letting you down.”

“But he didn’t let me down! I don’t even know what this is about.”

Kaz pocketed his phone. “Since he’s clearly incapable of taking care of himself, it looks like we’ll be playing the ‘find Jesper and drag him back to his house’ game. Again.”

“I’m going with you.”

“Don’t you have to stay here or your father will kill you?”

“I don’t care,” Wylan said. “Jesper needs me.”

Jesper had been out drinking since the previous evening, and it had something to do with him. Wylan couldn’t help but think back to how Jesper seemed convinced he wasn’t good enough for Wylan. Maybe telling him not to be afraid wasn’t enough.

He knew how it felt. Too many times, he’d convinced himself he was unlovable. If Jesper was out there alone, afraid he’d ruined his chances with Wylan… Wylan needed to go to him, to wrap his arms around him and assure him that whatever this was about, it wasn’t the end.

Kaz regarded him for a long moment in silence and then shrugged. “It’s your life.”

He left the library, and Wylan followed.


	27. Let Me Be Strong For You

Jesper had lost track of how much he drank.

He’d had to switch bars more than once, and he’d passed out sometime the previous evening, but he’d finally found another place where he could get good and drunk without anyone asking inconvenient questions.

The pain was coming back, the awful twisting when he thought about Wylan, and that meant he wasn’t drunk enough.

Wylan gave him so much. He wanted Jesper despite everything. All Jesper had to do in return was earn a little money in case he needed help escaping his home. He’d done it. He’d gotten a job, and at the end of the weekend, he’d earned his first paycheck.

And he’d already lost it.

Jesper punched the table in frustration. Stupid, stupid, how stupid could he be? What awful wreck of a person took money meant to save his boyfriend from abuse and gambled it away?

But when he lost, he thought he could win it back, and when he won, he thought he could get more, and one thing led to another until it was all gone.

The texts from his friends were getting annoying. Jesper went back to ignoring them and ordered another drink.

#

“We’ll go in pairs.” Kaz brought up a map on his phone. “Nina and Matthias, you take this corner of the city. That’s where Jesper was the last time we had to do this. Inej, check these alleyways here with Wylan. Kuwei, you and I will comb this section. Do exactly as I tell you and don’t speak to anyone.”

Kuwei looked gloomy. “Do I have to go with you?”

“You could stay behind.”

“No.”

“Then you’re going with me.” Kaz’s smile wasn’t pleasant. “I don’t trust you, and you’re the last person who saw Jesper last night. I want to keep my eye on you.”

Wylan realized with some surprise that Kaz hadn’t given _him_ one of those suspicious looks—aside from when he attacked him in the library—for quite a while. He must have risen in the older boy’s estimation.

“Whoever finds Jesper first contacts the rest of us, as well as Colm. Got it? Then get to it.”

Inej walked to Wylan’s side. “Stay close to me. We’ll be going into some dangerous places, and I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“All right.”

“There’s one more thing I should mention.” She sighed and put her hands on his shoulders. “Sometimes Jesper drinks while having a good time, but that’s not what this is. When he gets this drunk, it’s usually because he’s upset. And when Jesper is drunk and upset—”

Kaz cut in. “He’s pathetic.”

Inej glared at him, then returned her attention to Wylan. “He might be _very_ upset. It’s rough to see him like that. Are you sure you want to do this?”

Wylan swallowed hard. “He needs me.”

“All right. Let’s go.”

#

Maybe it was better to live this way. If Jesper stayed in places like this, he didn’t have to worry about anyone. He couldn’t let down Wylan, he couldn’t disappoint his dad, he couldn’t upset his friends—it would be like Jesper Fahey just ceased to exist, and maybe that was best for everyone.

The squeak of the door disturbed his contemplation. He looked, because it might be the police and then he’d have to make himself scarce if he didn’t want his fake ID under scrutiny. But it wasn’t the police.

It was like an angel had come to earth. Innocent-eyed and fresh, Wylan looked completely out of place in the bar. He didn’t belong in this part of Jesper’s life. Two worlds had collided.

Wait. Jesper rubbed his face and blinked. Wylan was still there. He was walking toward the table.

Wait, wait, wait! Wylan wasn’t supposed to be there. He should be at home or at school, depending on the time. He’d never seen Jesper like this before. He _shouldn’t_ see Jesper like this. Wylan seeing him in this condition was worse than losing his money.

Jesper considered hiding under the table, but his movements were sluggish, and before he knew what was happening, Wylan was standing right in front of him.

“Jesper…” The other boy’s voice was barely a whisper.

He was probably horrified. Disappointed. Angry. “This is me,” Jesper managed. “Sorry to disappoint.” He did a good job of keeping his voice casual and carefree, too, like this was exactly who he wanted to be.

Then he ruined it by bursting into tears.

#

Even Inej’s warning couldn’t have prepared Wylan for the sight of Jesper sobbing in front of him. She’d stayed back a few feet to give them time alone at Wylan’s request, but he felt helpless. Jesper looked fragile, like the wrong words might shatter him into a thousand pieces.

But if that happened, Wylan would take as much time as he needed to gather those pieces and put them back together.

He took a deep breath and stepped closer to him. “It’s okay. I’m here.” He gently touched Jesper’s shoulder. “I’m here for you.”

“I’m sorry,” Jesper said between sobs.

“What happened?”

“I was earning money for you… to save you… to get you out of that… house.” Jesper shook his head. “And I lost it all. I lost it!”

“It’s okay.”

“No! It was for you and I gambled it all away. I couldn’t stop. I should have, but I didn’t. I kept playing and playing, and…” He shook his head.

So that’s what this was all about. Jesper earned money for him, gambled it away, and reacted to his mistake by getting drunk.

“I couldn’t stop,” he said again. “I knew I shouldn’t keep playing, but I did anyway. Even though it was for you.”

Wylan sighed and crouched next to him. “You have a gambling addiction, Jesper.”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Shh…” He let his hand slide to Jesper’s back. “You can break it. I know you can. It won’t be easy, but we can get through it together.”

“You don’t deserve this. I don’t see why someone as wonderful as you would want a mess like me…”

Wylan wrapped his arms around Jesper and squeezed him as tight as he could. “Don’t talk like that.”

“But it’s true! It’ll happen again… I’ll hear about a game, and I’ll… It’ll happen again.”

“Maybe it will.” He held Jesper close and rested his head on his shoulder. “But you’re strong enough to overcome this. Let me _help_ you, Jesper. Please?”

Jesper didn’t answer. Maybe he was at least listening.

“You’ve done so much for me,” Wylan said. “When I started tutoring you, I barely felt alive. I thought I was worthless. You changed all of that. You gave me the strength to believe in myself.”

“Wylan…”

“Let me be strong for you now. Let me support you when you need it, just like you supported me. We _can_ get through this, I promise.” He ran his fingers through Jesper’s hair and took a deep breath. “But you have to talk to me, okay? Don’t be afraid to face me. Don’t go drinking because you mess something up. Trust me, and talk to me about it.”

Jesper burst into noisy tears again and pressed his face against Wylan’s neck. “I love you so much.”

Wylan froze. A blush crept to his cheeks. He would much prefer Jesper repeat those words while sober, but still, he’d said it. He loved him.

“I just wish I was good enough for you…”

“You _are_.” Wylan pulled back and managed a light kiss on Jesper’s lips despite the overpowering smell of alcohol. He squeezed him close again. “You’re already good enough for me, Jesper. I love you too.”

“Wylan…”

“It’s okay. I’m here.” He let Jesper cling to him for a long time and tried to convey through touch, if nothing else, that he wasn’t going to abandon him. His heart felt like it might fracture, but he knew he would go through this any number of times if it helped Jesper recover.

At last, he eased him to his feet and looked at Inej.

“Come on, Jes,” she said. “Your dad will be glad to see you.”

“Wait…” Jesper grabbed Wylan’s arm. “Your father… is up to something.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Something… else… Kuwei said… he wanted a meeting with… with his father… about secret government something…”

“Kuwei sees spies around every corner.”

“This is different… I’m worried…”

Wylan reached up and touched his cheek. “Then we’ll figure it out together, okay? For now, I want you to go home to your dad and rest.”

Jesper nodded, but he looked miserable.

“It’s okay,” Wylan whispered. “You’ve done so much for me. I’ll do everything I can for you. This isn’t the end, I _promise_.”

“I’ll be in school tomorrow.”

“I’m glad.”

As they left, Wylan glimpsed a watch on the arm of one of the bar’s patrons. It was well past the time when tutoring would have ended. He took a deep breath and braced himself for whatever he would find when he got home.

#

His father was waiting for him.

Wylan’s whole body tensed, but he didn’t have a choice. He walked inside. Whatever happened, he’d done it for Jesper. Jesper needed him. That was worth any punishment, and he knew the risks when he left the school with Kaz.

“I’m very disappointed in you,” his father said.

Wylan swallowed hard. “I’m sorry, sir. It won’t happen again.”

“I find that difficult to believe, with the company you’ve been keeping.”

His heart skipped a beat. “It wasn’t their fault, sir. It was all mine.”

“Do you expect me to believe your disappearance this afternoon had nothing to do with Jesper Fahey?”

“That’s right,” he whispered.

“You’re lying.”

Wylan flinched.

“I’m running out of options, Wylan. This can’t go on.”

His blood ran cold. He’d never seen such a look on his father’s face before—anger and triumph at the same time. He suddenly felt very small and very alone. He wished he’d gone with Jesper or Inej instead of returning to the mansion.

“I tried to be reasonable,” his father said. “I told myself you would do the right thing. It’s clear that isn’t the case.”

“Don’t do anything to him,” Wylan whispered. “Please, Father, I’ll do whatever you want.”

“I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I realized that there is nothing to be gained by removing the boy from your life. There would just be someone else, and I can hardly go after the entire school when clearly _you_ are the problem.”

Wylan drew a sharp breath. “Then you’ll leave him alone?” he asked, hardly daring to believe it.

“I won’t touch him or the others.”

He let out a relieved sigh.

“You’re going to change schools instead.”

#

All night long, Wylan planned how he might escape. He could sneak downstairs and leave, or climb out through the window. But he saw no escape plan that didn’t end with his father targeting Jesper. Even if Wylan disappeared, his father was vindictive enough to make sure Jesper ended up far out of his reach.

Jesper.

Wylan’s heart ached. He’d promised Jesper they would be together. He’d promised he would support him and help him through his gambling addiction. To Jesper, it would be like Wylan just vanished.

Without saying goodbye. Without explaining. Without promising they’d be together again as soon as he was able.

“Oh Jesper,” Wylan whispered in the darkness and wished his words could be carried across the town to reach the other boy, “I love you so much. I’m doing this for you.”

If he didn’t cooperate, his father would go after Jesper and most likely Colm as well. There was no escape.

When morning came, Wylan stood numbly through his father’s false well wishes and a tearful goodbye from Alys, and then he climbed into the black car that would take him to his new school. He didn’t try to fight. There was no point anymore.

His father had won.


	28. Transfer

Jesper was more nervous than he liked to admit when he got to school on Wednesday. His memory of the previous day was a mess, but it included Wylan talking to him while he was in his drunken stupor, impossible though it seemed.

He had no idea what he said. He didn’t know how Wylan reacted. All he knew was that Wylan had seen him like that. His fuzzy memories included a gentle smile and warm arms around him, but he didn’t know how he could face Wylan again.

So when lunch finally came and Wylan’s usual seat was empty, he almost felt relieved.

Then panic set in.

“Maybe he doesn’t want to see me,” he said, before he thought through what he was saying.

Nina raised her eyebrows. “Do you really think Wylan would skip school just to avoid you?”

“No, I guess not.”

“He cares about you,” Inej said. “Trust me.”

Her reassurance made Jesper feel a little better. “Thanks.”

Kaz snorted. “I knew leaving the school to go looking for you would cause trouble for him, but he wouldn’t listen.”

Jesper sat up straight in his seat, his momentary ease replaced by fear. “You don’t think he made it back in time? You think his father found out?”

“Jesper,” Inej said, “when we _found_ you, it was already evening.”

No, no, no. “That idiot.” He slammed his fist against the desk. “Why would he do something like that?”

“Because he loves you,” Matthias said, like it was the most natural thing in the world.

Jesper ducked his head. He couldn’t shake the mental image of Wylan’s father beating him until he wasn’t able to come to school. All because of him. Because he let Wylan down and then went off and got himself drunk because he was too scared to face him.

Never again. He’d never put him in danger like that again. Not for anything.

But God, just let Wylan be all right…

#

By the end of the day, Jesper’s nerves were on edge. He wasn’t sure how he would make it until the next morning. And then if Wylan was absent again—

“Jesper, can I talk to you for a minute?”

Surprised, he stopped on his way out of his math classroom and turned back to Miss Smith. This couldn’t be about his grades, since he’d been doing much better. Surely his performance on the quiz wasn’t enough to make her want to talk to him about it. He walked to her desk and waited.

“In case you haven’t heard,” she said, “Wylan transferred to another school.”

What?

She kept talking, something about studying and trying to find a replacement tutor, but Jesper barely heard a word of it.

Wylan… transferred to another school?

He wasn’t coming back?

He was _gone_?

Thoughts of going through day after day without seeing Wylan—maybe ever again; would he ever find him again?—made Jesper’s chest constrict. His body felt hot and wobbly. The whole world was shaking.

“Are you listening to me?”

He forced himself to concentrate on Miss Smith’s face. “Do… Do you know where?”

“What?”

“Where did he transfer to? What school?”

“I don’t know. We weren’t given that information.”

He didn’t even get to say goodbye. If Jesper knew he was spending his final few days with Wylan—not forever, it couldn’t be forever; he’d find him somehow, he _had_ to—he’d have treasured every moment. He wouldn’t have gotten drunk, for one thing. He’d have spent that time holding Wylan… or maybe just reminding him how special he was, in case there was no one at his new school who would value him.

Did he know how much Jesper would miss him?

“Jesper, I’m sorry.” Miss Smith looked stunned and worried. “I didn’t realize you two had gotten to be so close.”

He opened his mouth to make a joke, but the words wouldn’t come. The last time Wylan saw him, he’d been drunk out of his mind. That would be the memory of him Wylan left with.

“I’m sure he’ll get in touch with you.”

But he couldn’t. They never exchanged email addresses or phone numbers, because Wylan’s father was an abusive, controlling maniac. And a new image filled Jesper’s mind, Wylan trapped with his father telling him he was stupid and worthless, without anyone to assure him it wasn’t true.

Jesper stumbled out of the classroom feeling like the world had become a little darker.

#

As Jesper walked into his house and shut the door behind him, he remembered leading Wylan inside a week ago. His body trembled. Everything felt _right_ then. If only he’d recognized Wylan’s feelings for him earlier, then they could have had more time together.

Who was he kidding? Whether he and Wylan had been dating for a week or were still just friends, this sudden removal of him from Jesper’s life would hurt just as much.

“Jesper?” His dad hurried into the room, a frown on his face. “You’re home early. What happened?”

“He’s gone,” Jesper whispered.

“Gone?”

“Wylan transferred to another school.”

Sympathy softened his dad’s face. “Why don’t you call him?”

“I can’t. If I call him at home…” Van Eck would answer the phone, and this time he wouldn’t believe any excuses about why Jesper needed to talk to his son.

“Jesper, what is going on?”

He looked up.

His dad shook his head. “I caught a little of what you two were saying Thursday night, about how Wylan’s father doesn’t care about him. Now you’re afraid to call him on the phone. Is there something I should know about?”

Jesper sighed. Wylan never said he couldn’t tell, as long as they didn’t try to oppose Van Eck and put themselves in danger.

So he told his dad how Wylan’s father kept him under strict control, how he belittled and mocked him—leaving out the reason why, since Wylan never gave him permission to tell that—and how he abused him. He repeated Wylan’s story of what happened when people tried to help him, and how Van Eck had threatened to make Jesper disappear.

“Maybe Wylan doesn’t want to see me again,” Jesper said, “because of what happened yesterday. It’s… it’s possible. But I’m afraid this is his father’s doing. I just need to see Wylan, to hear for myself what’s going on… and to tell him I’ll wait for him, if that’s what he wants.”

“Wait for him?”

“We started dating. But we probably won’t be able to see each other anymore.” Jesper swallowed past a lump in his throat. “After this year, he’ll have another year before he graduates, too. But after that, if he still wants to be with me… I’ll wait for him.”

Of course he could wait two years. He’d wait ten years, if necessary. Twenty. He’d wait a lifetime for Wylan if Wylan wanted him.

“You know,” his dad said, “if Jan Van Eck left town, it would cause quite a stir. I haven’t heard anything like that. That means there’s a good chance Wylan is at home.”

“Then…” Jesper drew in a sharp breath. “I might be able to get in to see him. Someone as rich as Van Eck probably doesn’t answer his own door, right? I can find an excuse to get inside and talk to Wylan!”

“I’ll drive you there.”

“Dad, you don’t have to get involved.”

“I’ve never heard you talk about anyone the way you talk about Wylan.” His dad walked to the door. “I know how important he is to you, and I don’t believe he’d leave without talking to you if he had a choice. Let’s go.”

#

After a brief argument about the potential danger, Jesper’s dad parked down the street from the mansion so his car wouldn’t be seen. Then Jesper got out and approached the imposing building. A week earlier, Wylan had looked so sad when he stood on the doorstep and realized his father had abandoned him.

God, did everything have to remind him of Wylan? Less than a month together and already memories haunted Jesper with ever step.

He hesitated as he looked at the mansion. This could be dangerous. Van Eck would recognize him. He had to figure out what he would say to get inside and what he would do if things got dicey.

All right, it would depend on who answered. He’d try to gauge their feelings toward Wylan. If they were on Van Eck’s side, he’d pretend he was there to inspect something.

Jesper started up the drive toward the mansion doors and went over in his mind what he would say. When he felt ready, he knocked.

After a minute, the door opened. “Yes?”

The man who answered looked like a servant. Jesper took a deep breath. “I’m—”

A woman’s voice cut him off. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of it!”

The servant turned. “Certainly, ma’am.”

He walked away, and Jesper found himself facing a young woman who beckoned him inside. Confused, but cautiously optimistic, he entered. Step one complete. Now he just had to find Wylan.

“Thank you for coming,” the woman said. “It’s the purple.”

“What?”

“Purple. Don’t you like it?”

Jesper cleared his throat. “Oh, um, purple’s great.” Who was this woman and what was she talking about?

“I’m glad.”

Neither of them said anything.

She tilted her head. “Is there something else you need? I thought I just had to tell you the color.”

“No, I need to, ah… see the… spot?” Jesper held his breath and hoped she was buying furniture.

“You need to see the room?” She shrugged. “All right, follow me.”

Jesper hurried after her as she led him through the mansion. “By the way, do you have a brother named Wylan?”

She giggled. “Now that would be strange, wouldn’t it?”

“Why?”

“If I had a brother with the same name as my stepson?”

_Stepson?_ Jesper hid his shock with difficulty. She looked like she was only a few years older than him. Wylan never said much about his stepmother at all, let alone that she was so young. This woman had married Van Eck? But she seemed so nice.

“It would be fun, though,” she said after a moment. “Wylan is a kind boy. I wouldn’t mind having a brother like him, although that would make things very confusing. And what would the baby think, having a brother and uncle with the same name?”

Jesper decided to take a chance. Married to Van Eck or not, she sounded genuinely fond of Wylan. “Actually, I’m here to see Wylan.”

“What?” She stopped. “You mean he ordered paint before he left?”

The word _left_ made his heart sink, but maybe he could at least get information from her. “I’m not here about the paint. I’m sorry. That was a misunderstanding.”

She looked crestfallen. “Then you’re not Miguel from the paint store?”

“I’m afraid not.”

“Are you sure? They said he’d be here today.”

“I promise,” Jesper said, “I’m positive I’m not him. I’m a friend of Wylan’s. I heard he switched schools, and I was hoping to see him.”

“He’s already gone,” she said. “He left this morning. He was in such a rush for some reason.”

“Oh.”

“I miss him, but I understand. He’s going to the Belendt School of Music. It’s a wonderful opportunity, and he’s such a good musician. Jan and I are both so proud of him.”

It would be a safe bet that half of that statement wasn’t true. Jesper cleared his throat. “The Belendt School of Music? Thanks.”

The name wasn’t familiar. It was probably far away. He’d have to travel to reach him, and did Wylan even want to see him again? The lurking fears returned. Maybe Wylan was glad to leave. Maybe after seeing Jesper at his lowest, he wanted to be rid of him and couldn’t bear to let him down to his face.

Maybe it was time to let Wylan go.

“If you see him,” the woman said, “tell him I’m rooting for him to do well. Oh, I’m Alys, by the way. Tell him Alys is rooting for him. That’s me.”

“Okay.”

She tilted her head. “I suppose your name isn’t Miguel after all.”

He forced a laugh. “No. I’m Jesper.”

“Jesper?” She blinked. “As in ‘For Jesper’?”

“What?”

“The song, ‘For Jesper.’”

He shook his head. “Sorry, I’m afraid I’ve never heard that one.” And he was ready to leave. He turned back the way they came. He had all the information he’d get from the mansion. He needed to get out and go somewhere where he could think about whether or not it was worth pursuing this.

“Of course you haven’t heard it,” she said. “Wylan didn’t finish it.”

He froze. “What?”

“The song he was writing.”

“Wylan wrote a song about me?”

She frowned. “Well, he wrote a song called ‘For Jesper.’”

“That’s me! I mean, I’m Jesper.”

“Would you like to see it?” she asked. “He left so quickly I never got to return it to him, and I can’t quite play it yet, but—”

“Yes!”

“This way.”

Jesper followed her to a large room with a piano in it. She walked to the instrument and opened a folder sitting on the music stand. From behind several sheets of music, she pulled out a handwritten composition.

At the top, large letters spelled out _For Jesper._ He recognized Wylan’s handwriting. He could almost picture the boy painstakingly spelling out his name. Music notes covered each sheet, page after page.

“I wish I could play it for you,” Alys said. “I heard him practicing it once, and it was so beautiful.”

Tears blurred Jesper’s vision. He ran his fingers over the notes. Wylan had written this for him. He cared that much. Any lingering doubts Jesper had vanished. It didn’t matter that the last time they saw each other, he was drunk. He needed to talk to Wylan again.

He looked up at Alys. “Can I—can I keep this?”

“You’ll give it back when you see him, won’t you?”

“Yes.” He clasped the precious composition to his chest. “Of course. Just… I’d like to keep it a little while longer.”

“Then I don’t see why not.”

“Thank you.”

#

At home, Jesper searched online for the Belendt School of Music. Wylan’s composition sat on the desk in front of him. From time to time, he touched the pages and prayed he’d someday hear Wylan play it.

His anxiety diminished when he found the school’s website. It looked like a classy place, the sort of posh atmosphere Wylan would fit right in with. They had an impressive track record, too, with many successful musicians among their graduates. It could be a front, but on the surface, it looked like a place where Wylan would be all right.

The website included a page publicly thanking the school’s generous donors, and Jesper scanned the list. No sign of Van Eck. It was unlikely he had them in his pocket, then.

Jesper let out a long, slow breath. Maybe Van Eck was content to send Wylan away. As long as Wylan wasn’t around, that might be all Van Eck needed.

He found a phone number on the site and dialed it. This could be a blessing in disguise. He and Wylan might be able to find a way to talk regularly with his father no longer monitoring him.

After a few rings, a woman answered in a cheerful voice. “Belendt School of Music, main office. How may I help you?”

“Hi, I’m friends with one of your students, but I don’t know how to get in touch with him.” He held his breath, prepared for an argument.

“You’ll want to contact the dorms,” she said, “but I can transfer your call. Which student is it?”

Jesper was feeling better about this by the minute. This posh school had its own dorms, and they seemed quite friendly. “Wylan Van Eck.”

There was a pause. “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t find anyone with that name in our records.”

His anxiety spiked, but then he remembered something. “What about Wylan Hendriks?” If Van Eck wanted to erase the connection between him and his son, then maybe Wylan wouldn’t be enrolled under his real name.

“I’m sorry, I can’t find that name either.”

Oh no, oh no, oh no. “He would have just showed up recently, or he will in a couple of days. The transfer just went through.”

“Let me check.”

Jesper drummed his fingers against the desk. He ran his fingers over the precious musical notes and his own name on the page in Wylan’s handwriting.

“I’m sorry,” the woman said, “I’m afraid we have no record of any new transfer students.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NaNoWriMo is here, but don't worry, I should be able to manage this and my new NaNoWriMo novel at the same time! (Also, if any of you do NaNoWriMo as well, my username on the site is the same as my name here.)


	29. Marya

Jesper wasn’t sure how long he sat there, horrified, as countless scenarios flashed through his mind of what might have happened to Wylan. Locked up by Van Eck, injured somewhere, kidnapped on his way to the school—the terrible possibilities were endless, and they brought with them the reminder that Van Eck wanted his son erased from his life.

Wylan once sat in the library with him and whispered his fears that he would simply disappear before he could become an “embarrassment” to his father as an adult.

And he had.

“Jesper?” His dad’s voice stirred him from his thoughts. “Are you all right?”

He blinked and looked up. His dad stood in the room to his room, face creased with concern. Jesper glanced back at the computer, still open to the music school’s webpage, and shook his head. “He’s not there. He’s not a student at the school his stepmother said he transferred to.”

“Do you think she lied?”

Jesper thought about how Alys acted in the mansion. “I don’t think so. She told me what she believed was true.”

Which undoubtedly meant what Van Eck told her.

“If you think Wylan is in danger, we have to do something about it,” his dad said softly. “We should call the police.”

“We _can’t._ ” Jesper put his head in his hands. “We have no proof.”

“Your testimony—”

“I can testify all I want about Wylan being abused, but without more witnesses or evidence, Van Eck will just say I’m lying.”

His dad was quiet for a long moment. At last, he said, “With a strong enough case, even someone like Jan Van Eck can be taken down.”

It wouldn’t be that simple. But maybe they didn’t have a choice. With a sigh, Jesper got out his phone to let his friends know what happened.

#

“He’ll be okay,” Inej said at lunch.

Jesper stopped drumming his fingers on the lunch table and scowled. “You don’t know that.”

“If he’s not okay,” Matthias said, his voice dangerous, “then we’ll find him and bring him back.”

Jesper had underestimated how badly Matthias would take Wylan’s disappearance. He hadn’t stopped looking like a thundercloud since Jesper explained his worries that Van Eck had hurt Wylan.

That, of course, had raised questions. While he felt guilty for breaking Wylan’s confidence again, he’d had no choice but to tell them about some of the abuse, although he kept as much of it private as he could.

“I told my father what’s been going on,” Kuwei said. “He’s going to look into it.”

Unless this really _did_ involve enemy agents, a government scientist was hardly their best hope for finding Wylan. On the other hand, Jesper would take any help he could get.

Kaz hadn’t said anything yet. He’d been looking at something on his phone the entire time. It was beginning to annoy Jesper. Could he really be so cold that he didn’t care what happened to Wylan?

“I can get social services involved,” Inej said.

“I contacted Genya,” Nina said. “She wants to help.”

Jesper rubbed his forehead. If they did end up with a case against Van Eck in court, having a prosecutor like Genya on their side increased their chances of winning. But was it worth trying? If they failed, Van Eck would take it out on Wylan.

His stomach churned. The thought of making things worse for Wylan terrified him. And he still didn’t know what happened. He sighed and shook his head. “Maybe we shouldn’t try to go up against Van Eck at all.”

“Jesper!” Inej looked shocked. “What about Wylan?”

“All I need to know is that he’s okay.” If Wylan was okay, maybe he could tolerate another year with his father. Once he turned eighteen, he could escape.

“We can’t just leave him there to be abused!”

He shook his head again. He felt helpless.

“Look,” Nina said, arms folded, “when Genya gets here, she’s going to want an answer. Are we going to take Van Eck to court, or not?”

“I don’t know!” He would do anything for Wylan, but what was the right choice?

“We have resources,” Matthias said. “Between all of us, together with Wylan’s testimony once we find him, we can stop Van Eck. That is how the justice system works.”

Jesper glared at him. “Sometimes it works all too well for the Van Ecks of the world, and then Wylan will be the one who suffers for it!”

Kaz cleared his throat. “I hate to interrupt this rousing debate, but do you have any idea why Van Eck would make regular donations to a ‘St. Hilde’s’ multiple times a year?”

Irritated by his attitude, Jesper shrugged. “Sounds like a church. Maybe he’s religious.”

“Hmm.” Kaz returned to looking through his information in silence.

“St. Hilde’s?” Inej gave him a sharp look. “There’s a St. Hilde’s around here, but it’s not a church.”

“What is it?” Jesper asked.

“It’s a mental hospital.”

#

Jesper took the bus to St. Hilde’s as soon as school was over. He would have gone right after lunch if he was able to, but the last thing he needed was to get in trouble when Wylan needed him.

When he left the bus, the imposing white building sent a chill through him. It was insane to think Wylan might be in there. Surely even Van Eck wouldn’t go so far as to have Wylan committed, even if he did tell the teachers he suffered from erratic behavior and paranoia. But Kaz’s data indicated Van Eck was paying them off for some reason, and that was worth investigating.

His heart hammered as he walked through the visitors’ entrance. He wasn’t sure if he hoped he’d find Wylan there or not.

At least if he was there, Jesper could help him. If he wasn’t, he’d be at a loss again. But to be forced into a hospital… he was probably so scared.

“May I help you?”

The woman at the reception desk looked kind, which made him feel a little better. “I’m here to visit a patient,” he said.

“Certainly, sir. Could you give me the last name?”

“Van Eck.”

She checked through something on her computer and shook her head.

“Hendriks,” he said quickly. “What about Hendriks?”

She looked dubious, but a moment later she nodded. “Oh, I understand now. So you’re here to visit Marya?”

Marya? That definitely wasn’t Wylan. He opened his mouth to say as much, but the name tugged at his memory. Marya Hendriks?

_If I change my name, it’s not going to be to “Van Calculus,” all right? It would have to be something normal, like Hendriks._

_Hendriks? Where did you pull that from?_

_It’s my mother’s maiden name. Her name was Marya Hendriks._

Jesper stared at the receptionist. That was impossible. Wylan’s mother was dead. But the name was the same, and the receptionist said she understood, as if using the name Van Eck made sense in connection with Marya Hendriks.

“Sir?” she asked. “Is something wrong?”

He gave himself a shake. “Sorry, I’m fine. And yes… I’m here to see Marya.”

“Very good.” She indicated a book on the desk. “Please sign in here.”

While Jesper obeyed, the woman called a nurse and spoke to her briefly. Then she turned back to Jesper and handed him a visitors’ badge. He pinned it to his shirt and wondered if he should have used a fake name. Well, too late. If Van Eck followed up on it, he’d deal with whatever happened. If this meant what he thought it did, Van Eck was going down.

“Follow me,” the nurse said. “Marya is in one of the common areas now, so we can go right in. She’s painting, but she loves showing people her art.”

“Oh, she paints?”

“Yes, and she’s quite good at it.” As the nurse led him down a bright white hallway, she smiled. “I’m glad you’re here. Marya never gets any visitors.”

No wonder, since Van Eck told everyone she died. Jesper clenched his hands into fists.

She reached a large set of doors and unlocked them, then ushered him in. He followed and looked around. There were a few people in the room, some sitting by themselves, others talking together. One sat with an easel, painting.

Jesper slowly walked toward her.

Even without the art, he might have guessed. Her red hair looked like it had faded with age, but he saw hints of the color he knew and loved. And when she looked up at him, her clear gaze was also Wylan’s.

His heart pounded as he looked at her. Wylan should be here for this. It wasn’t fair that Jesper got to meet his mother while Wylan believed her to be dead.

“Marya,” the nurse said, “you have a visitor.”

Jesper forced himself to move closer. “Hi. I’m Jesper.”

She didn’t answer. Instead, she turned her attention back to her easel.

“What are you painting?” Silence. “May I take a look?” He glanced at the nurse, who nodded in encouragement. He stepped to Marya’s side so he could see the painting.

It was largely a landscape, grassy fields and clear blue skies, but at the center of it all, there was a boy. A boy with red-gold hair and eyes as blue as the sky. Jesper would have known him anywhere, even so many years younger.

He swallowed hard. “Marya, I’m… I’m a friend of Wylan’s.”

That got a reaction at last. She lifted her head, her eyes wide. “You know my son?” she whispered.

“Yeah.” Jesper grabbed a chair and pulled it up alongside her. “He’s wonderful. He’s an artist too, you know, although I think he likes music better.”

Her smile was faint, her gaze distant. “He always loved music.”

“He still does. And math.” Jesper chuckled. “That little genius actually _enjoys_ math.”

She laughed softly, her love for Wylan visible on her face.

But she had yet to ask any of the questions that made sense when a stranger showed up to visit her and talk about her son. She should be questioning his visit or asking to go home… or _something_. This surreal reminiscence unnerved him. Jesper took a deep breath. “How long have you been in here?”

Something like fear flitted across her features, but then her gaze grew unfocused. “I remember planning for his eighth birthday…”

Eighth? Then she’d been in there for a lot of years. “That’s right,” Jesper said under his breath, “he said he was young when you died.”

Marya gave him a sharp look. “Died?”

“Wylan thinks you’re dead. His father told him you died.”

She stared down at the floor. “I always wondered why Wylan didn’t visit. I thought he didn’t want to see me either.”

Jesper’s heart broke at the thought of Marya in there for years, thinking her son had abandoned her as much as her husband had. “Oh no, no.” He shook his head. “Wylan loves you. He misses you so much. If he had any idea you were alive, he’d be right here, spending every minute he could with you.”

And if Marya’s commitment was phony, he’d be fighting Van Eck with everything he had.

She offered a tentative smile. “Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“Does this mean he’ll visit me now, once you tell him I’m here?”

Jesper hesitated. He couldn’t tell her he currently had no idea where Wylan was, or that he’d only found her because he was looking for him. “Wylan doesn’t leave home often,” he said, which was probably the safest, mildest explanation of his home life.

But her gaze clouded. “Did _he_ hurt my son?”

No need to ask who she meant. Jesper swallowed. He didn’t want to lie to Marya. But he couldn’t tell her that Wylan had been abused and derided for years after Van Eck sent her away. “Wylan is strong,” he said instead. “He’s wonderful and compassionate.”

His lack of an answer to the actual question was too obvious.

Jesper sighed and met her gaze. His dad and Inej were right. This had gone too far. “Marya, if the time comes when we need your help—when Wylan needs your help—will you be willing to testify in court?”

She nodded.

And in her gaze, he saw the fire of hope where hope had been in short supply for far too long.

#

As Jesper rode the bus back home, he thought over the situation. On one hand, it was _terrible_ to know Van Eck was evil enough to do this to his wife. On the other hand, Wylan’s mother was alive. She might be the witness they needed to finally take down Van Eck, and Jesper could reunite her with her son as soon as he found him.

And that was the biggest problem.

Belendt was a dead end. St. Hilde’s had been his only other lead.

He had no idea where Wylan was.


	30. Just Business

Wylan was exhausted. More importantly, he was terrified.

Of all the criminals in the world, his father had to hire one this well-prepared. Wylan was starting to doubt he’d ever make it out. He looked around his tiny cell. The thick walls were seamless, with no gaps or weaknesses he could hope to exploit. The floor was solid. Instead of bars, it had a solid metal door, and while there was a flap Pekka Rollins routinely opened for food, Wylan didn’t see any way he could use it to his advantage.

He sat back against the wall and sighed. Deep breaths. He wasn’t dead yet. As long as he remained alive, there was a chance he could escape.

No one would come for him. Alys thought he was at the Belendt School of Music, his teachers thought he’d transferred, and even Jesper would have been told that lie. Only his father knew the truth, and he wouldn’t tell anyone. No one would save Wylan, he’d have to save himself, and Kaz’s words about Rollins being an expert at making people disappear rang through Wylan’s memory over and over. If _Kaz_ thought the man was dangerous, Wylan had no chance on his own. This was the end.

No. Focus. He had to keep a clear head.

Wylan drew a shaky breath. He’d cried more times since his kidnapping than he liked to admit, but whenever the worst panic and hysteria threatened to overtake him, he focused on Jesper.

Sweet, wonderful Jesper. The way he laughed, the way he teased. How good his arms felt wrapped around Wylan and how warm his lips were. If Jesper were with him, he’d say something outrageously inappropriate and kiss Wylan until he didn’t feel the pain or fear anymore.

At least Jesper was safe.

Jesper had been the only one in Wylan’s thoughts when he entered the car to supposedly go to his new school. He’d hoped for a miracle—maybe their journey would take them past the Faheys’ farm and Wylan could somehow communicate to Jesper what happened. At any rate, at least his father would leave Jesper and the others alone with Wylan out of the picture.

He’d even started to make plans for what would happen when he got to the school. No matter how strict the rules were, they’d probably make some allowances for students to communicate. Wylan dreamed of how he might get in touch with Jesper once he was out of his father’s reach.

Until he’d realized they weren’t going to the Belendt School of Music.

While he’d never actually been there before, he’d read about it in the past, sometimes daydreaming about a future where he got to study music. Before he met Jesper, nothing tied him to his current school. He’d spent hours looking at pictures of the school and the route to reach it, all to plan out his fantasy.

Even though he couldn’t read the street signs they passed, he would have recognized the way to Belendt. And when he asked the men driving the car, they ignored him.

As he’d watched the unfamiliar surroundings outside while the car took him further away from home, he thought back to the look on his father’s face before he left and realized that maybe he didn’t just want him gone, maybe he wanted him _dead._

But the car had locks that could be opened manually, and so Wylan waited until the traffic around them was clear and then threw open his door. He leaped out before the men could react and hit the ground with a jarring impact. He rolled, and although his whole body felt bruised, scrambled to his feet and started running.

He ran as fast as he could, hoping to reach someone who could help him, but the men caught up with him. To his surprise, they didn’t hurt him, just dragged him back to the car.

One of them sat with him in the back from then on.

Wylan had studied his unwanted companion in the hopes of figuring out who exactly he was with. Neither of them looked familiar. They weren’t people his father normally employed. He must have hired them special for this task. Common criminals, maybe. He spotted a glint of metal at the man’s waist. Guns for hire.

_Pekka Rollins._

The name drifted through his thoughts as he considered his father’s recent behavior. Kaz said Pekka Rollins made people disappear. Wylan had been worried for Jesper—but maybe the entire time, his father intended for Wylan to disappear.

His kidnappers mainly stuck to back roads when they weren’t on the highway, but eventually they had to cross through a town. Wylan took that as his next opportunity.

Once again, he lunged for the door and opened the lock. His guard grabbed his arm in such a hard grip the pain brought tears to his eyes, but he wrenched the door open and screamed for help as loud as he could.

The man slammed the door shut and the car zoomed into motion again as people all around them looked to see what was going on.

“Should have done this from the start,” the guard said under his breath, and before Wylan had time to do more than look at him, he clamped a handkerchief over his nose and mouth.

Wylan struggled and twisted, but whatever was in the handkerchief made him dizzy and disoriented. The world faded, and his next lucid memory was waking up in a dark cell. He’d searched for a way out futilely, and then his captor visited him. Pekka Rollins, just like he expected. With the appearance of Rollins, Wylan surrendered his last faint hope that his father wasn’t responsible for this.

In the time since then, he’d tried to escape twice more, with no success. The first cell hadn’t been quite so secure, and he managed to force his way past his guards when they brought him food. That was when he came to his current cell. He’d started to stockpile metal, as well as food he might be able to get chemicals from—unlikely though it was to work, at least it was _something_ —but those were quickly replaced with bland food and no silverware.

It crossed his mind that at least Rollins gave him credit for intelligence. His father never would have believed him capable of escaping. Small comfort. For once, he wouldn’t mind being underestimated.

But he wasn’t dead yet. Wylan took another breath to steady himself. Every day he remained alive was another day he might find a way to escape, another day the people who heard him scream might get the police on the right trail, another day Kaz might hunt down his nemesis and rescue Wylan in the process.

At the same time, though, it was unnerving. While Rollins’s men had no compunctions about roughing him up enough to drag him back, it seemed like they were taking care not to hurt him too badly. He’d expected broken bones and beatings in return for his boldness, but they never did it. He’d gotten worse injuries from his father than from Rollins’s men, which made him wonder what the end-game was.

The cell door opened, and Wylan scrambled to his feet.

Pekka Rollins stepped in with a gun in his hands.

Wylan’s stomach lurched, but the man didn’t shoot. Just a precaution then, he supposed. Ludicrous though it seemed, Wylan had made himself appear to be a threat. He almost wanted to laugh.

“No escape attempt today,” Rollins said. “What are you plotting?”

Wylan shook his head.

“Did I finally break your spirit? You put up more of a fight than I expected. From your father’s description of you, I expected you to fall to pieces the moment you were threatened.”

So his father even derided him when ordering his kidnapping. On top of everything else, it barely stung.

Rollins looked over the cell as if he expected Wylan was hiding something, then turned back toward the door.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” Wylan asked, his voice hoarse.

The criminal paused. “I didn’t know you were that eager to leave this world.”

“You can’t be holding me for ransom. My father is the one who hired you. So the only other thing I can think of is that he hired you to kill me, but you haven’t done it yet.”

“We’ll get there in time.”

Cold dread at the confirmation warred with Wylan’s growing unease. “What’s taking so long?”

“You _are_ eager to die, aren’t you?” Rollins shrugged. “Your father was specific about the manner of your death. It’s taking me a little while to get everything ready, that’s all. It shouldn’t be much longer now.”

Wylan’s heart leaped into his throat. “He told you _how_ to kill me?”

“That’s right. Paid extra for it.”

“How…” He swallowed hard. “How does my father want me to die?”

Rollins regarded him for a moment, then folded his arms. “You’re going to die of alcohol poisoning—which won’t be fun for either of us, but he’s paying quite well. Then your body will be deposited in an alleyway in Ketterdam.”

Alcohol poisoning? An alleyway? Wylan stared at him, and then his heart stopped.

It explained everything. Why his father let him go on the field trip, why he abandoned him that night, why he told the police he hadn’t been home on the night of the break-in, why he ordered his death in such a fashion.

He was going to pin Wylan’s death on Jesper.

“Soon the report will get back to him that you ran away while being driven to your new school.”

He could almost hear his father talking about how his son had been corrupted by the students he started hanging out with at school. He’d explain that he tried to transfer Wylan in time, but it must have been too late, and the boy he spent so much time with did have a known drinking problem…

Hot tears filled Wylan’s eyes and spilled over onto his cheeks. “This is about Jesper. He said he’d leave him alone. I only cooperated because I thought it would save Jesper!”

Rollins shrugged and walked to the cell door.

“No!” Wylan ran to the door and tried to escape, but the criminal forced him back and slammed him against the wall. The impact jarred his face and made his vision go black. He sank to the floor. “You can’t do this. You _can’t_! Kill me if you have to, but leave Jesper out of it!”

“Your father is paying me a lot of money. It’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”

With that, Rollins left Wylan alone with the darkness and his thoughts.

Wylan sobbed into his hands. He felt more defeated than when his escape attempts were foiled. Everything made all too much sense. His death would be ruled an accident, and his father would claim it was because of the new friends he’d made—particularly Jesper.

Being blamed for Wylan’s death would destroy Jesper. He’d have to deal not only with the loss itself, but also with everyone thinking he was responsible. Too many people would believe it. Their hatred and accusations would tear Jesper apart, and he’d never be free of the memories.

And Wylan’s father would make sure to hurt him as much as possible. He’d pretend to be acting out of grief and go after Jesper as much as he could, just to remind him over and over again that Wylan was dead.

Wylan screamed and punched the cell wall so hard his knuckles bled. Stupid, stupid, he should have known better than to trust his father about _anything_ , let alone something as important as leaving Jesper alone.

Strange, but he felt more antipathy toward his father than toward the man who would actually kill him. Rollins was doing it because he was being paid. There was something more respectable, in a way, about a hitman who would kill a stranger for money than there was about a father who would orchestrate his son’s death just because he wasn’t the son he wanted.

For years, Wylan thought his father’s hatred of him was justified, because he was worthless, a burden to him. Jesper changed that, but Wylan still believed his father acted the way he did because he _thought_ it was justified.

But there was something twisted and petty and cruel in Wylan’s father, something that left him unable to resist twisting the knife to cause as much pain as possible. He would enjoy making Jesper suffer, one final revenge against his dead son and the boy who loved him.

Yes, in comparison to that, Wylan could almost respect a hired murderer. Just business, as he’d said. It made no difference to him who his employer was. The first day they met, he’d even hinted that Wylan himself could hire him.

Wylan froze. It was just business.

Just business.

_You’ll start your own business,_ Jesper had said to him that day on the bus, when Wylan said his father would never let him work with him. _And from what I saw back there, you’ll drive him right out of the market._

Kaz’s words echoed in Wylan’s mind too. _Your father isn’t a very trusting man, is he?_

Wylan’s heart pounded. He wiped his bleeding knuckles on his pants and rubbed at his face, trying to erase the recent traces of tears. The next time he spoke to Rollins, he needed to present himself as something other than a frightened teenager.

Jesper thought Wylan was a better businessman than his father. For both their sakes, Wylan hoped he was right.

Because he’d be bargaining for his life.


	31. The Man from Ketterdam

After Jesper reported to his friends that Wylan’s supposed new school had never heard of him, they all met up the next afternoon at Kaz’s place.

They gathered in his office—Jesper would bet no other student at their school had an _office_ —where he turned on his computer and opened up a list of files. A quick look revealed it to be the information he’d swiped from Van Eck’s computer.

Jesper’s heart leaped. “Did you find anything that could help us?”

“No.” Kaz sat down in front of the computer. “When I took this data, I’d hoped it would give me the information I needed to finally pin something on Pekka Rollins.”

There he was with his vendetta against Rollins again.

“While I have plenty of incriminating evidence against him—as I told Wylan, I believe Van Eck intends for Rollins to take the fall—there’s something far more interesting at work here.”

Jesper really didn’t care about his attempts to catch Rollins, only about helping Wylan. He rubbed his head. Once Wylan was safe, then maybe he’d help Kaz with whatever he was up to.

“Here’s what I know.” Kaz opened restored emails from the list of files as he spoke. “A little over two weeks ago, Van Eck made contact with Rollins and asked for a meeting. This was shortly before Wylan reported their conversation to us at lunch.”

“Why would a man like Van Eck work with him?” Nina asked.

“Maybe Van Eck wanted someone to disappear.”

Jesper’s head snapped up. “Kaz! You’re not saying that he—”

“The next suspicious email is from a few days later, with vague comments indicating something didn’t go as planned and requesting another meeting to renegotiate.”

This didn’t sound good.

“That Thursday, they met again.” Kaz scrolled through his files. “It seems they set something up for the weekend—Van Eck sent him a time when he would be out of the house, the same time we made our unfortunate break-in.”

Jesper’s blood ran cold. “Then when he ran into us, it was because Van Eck wanted him at the mansion? Did he know Wylan was going to be there?”

Kaz turned to face them and spread his arms. “Since that’s when we grabbed the files, I don’t have any newer data… but the facts line up. Pekka Rollins is responsible for Wylan’s disappearance.”

“And you can’t find him?” Inej asked. “There’s not enough there for you to track down Rollins?”

“Unfortunately not.”

Jesper frowned at Kaz. “You’ve been hunting Rollins for years now. Are you actually telling me you don’t have any idea of where he might be holed up, or where he would take a kidnapping victim?”

Kaz’s gaze bore into him. “You don’t want to try the places I know.”

“Why not?”

“Because if he took Wylan there, he’s almost certainly dead by now.”

Jesper flinched.

“There must be a way,” Nina said. “Could there be more clues in the house?”

Jesper drew a sharp breath. “The microphones! Wylan said the mansion had hidden microphones so Van Eck would know what he was doing, right? What if they picked up conversations between Van Eck and Rollins? What if Van Eck hasn’t wiped the tapes yet?”

“Yes!” Nina met his gaze with a triumphant grin. “All we have to do is break in, grab the tapes, and see what we can find!”

Matthias cleared his throat. “I don’t approve of stealing, but under the circumstances, it might be our only option.”

“It won’t work,” Kaz said. “I took a look at the place. He’s tightened security. We won’t be breaking in.”

“I could find a window,” Inej said.

“Alarm systems. It won’t work.”

Silence fell over the group. Jesper wasn’t sure if the frustration on Kaz’s face was because of Wylan, or because he couldn’t stop Rollins, or just because his plan wasn’t working as he’d hoped, but he could see the others felt his own fear for Wylan. Inej started pacing, Nina covered her face with her hands, and Matthias pounded his fist into his palm repeatedly.

And Jesper just felt hopeless. He should cry, or pace, or do something… but he was numb. All he could think about was Wylan out of reach, possibly hurt, probably scared, with no one to help him.

“Um.”

Everyone looked up.

Kuwei had sat in the corner, so quiet Jesper almost forgot he was there, but he cleared his throat and edged forward. “All you need is for someone to get inside the mansion and look for these tapes or something else that will help us find Wylan, right?”

“Wait,” Nina said, “you’re not going to suggest something you saw in a spy movie, are you?”

He shook his head. “Van Eck wants me to cooperate with him. If I can convince him I’ve changed my mind, I should be able to talk him into meeting with me in the mansion.”

Kaz gave him a sharp look. “His attempts to contact you weren’t in regards to Wylan?”

“No. It was about my father’s top-secret, classified—”

“And he’s still interested?”

“He was on Monday.”

“It might work,” Kaz said.

Inej lifted her hand. “Wait a minute. Kuwei, you don’t know what you’re getting into. This is dangerous, and you don’t have any experience with this sort of thing.”

“But no one else can do it.” Kuwei folded his arms and pouted. “Besides, I know all about sneaking around and finding evidence. I watched _Dr. No_ thirty-seven times.”

She stared at him for a moment and then turned toward Kaz. “Kaz, you have to see how much danger he’d be in.”

“Yes, but he’s right,” Kaz said. “He’s the only one who has an easy way into the mansion.” He looked at Kuwei. “You’re sure you’re ready for this?”

“I want to help Wylan.”

“All right. Then let’s start planning.”

Jesper glanced at Kuwei. “If you can find Wylan, I’ll owe you one again. But this time, no dates.”

Kuwei laughed. “Understood.”

#

Kuwei took a deep breath. He’d contacted Van Eck and claimed he wanted to meet with him in person to discuss his proposition.

Once he was inside, the others would cause a distraction. Then he’d be free to search the mansion for anything that might tell them where Wylan was. Of course, he’d have to make sure he wasn’t caught.

He’d watched _Dr. No_ again the previous night in preparation, as well as his favorite episodes of _The Man from U.N.C.L.E._ Those men went up against dangerous enemy agents; he could handle Jan Van Eck.

Kuwei dusted off his fine suit and gave Jesper his coolest secret agent look.

“Please,” Jesper said, “find Wylan.”

That was the one thing that didn’t seem to be working out. James Bond and Napoleon Solo always got the girl. Granted, Jesper wasn’t a girl, but Kuwei would bet good money that if Bond and Solo were gay, they would always get the boy. But he could do the best job in the world and Jesper would run straight to Wylan’s arms instead of his.

Maybe he wasn’t quite Bond or Solo yet, but at least their skills would still help him.

So he adopted his most dashing look and said, “Don’t worry, young man, I’ll bring him back alive.”

Inej was staring at him the same way she had the previous day when he suggested the idea. She turned to Kaz. “We _can’t_ let him do this.”

“He’ll be fine,” Kaz said.

He said it like he might murder Kuwei if he messed it up, which was very good motivation. Kaz had that effect on people. Sometimes Kuwei wondered how he’d gotten mixed up with this lot, but then he thought about how he’d never realized Wylan needed help, and how nice Jesper was, and besides, he had trouble making friends and they weirdly seemed to accept him.

“I’ve got this,” Kuwei said.

With one last nod to Jesper, he set off across the street to the Van Eck mansion. He took a deep breath on the doorstep to compose himself and then knocked.

A servant answered. “Yes?”

 “Kuwei Yul-Bo,” he said. “I have a meeting with Mr. Van Eck.”

“Come right this way.”

He strode in as though this was exactly where he wanted to be. He would never, _ever_ sell out his father to anyone, but he needed Jan Van Eck to think he would, much like when a secret agent infiltrated the villain’s lair.

Half of those stories resulted in the villain actually knowing the spy’s identity the entire time, but Kaz was probably the one person whose intelligence network couldn’t be infiltrated by Van Eck.

So when Van Eck entered the room, Kuwei quashed his worries about Wylan and confidently shook his hand.

“I’m glad you reconsidered,” Van Eck said.

“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” Kuwei said, “but I realized it was worth at least hearing you out.”

“You’ll make the correct decision, I’m sure.”

Together, they walked out of the main hall until they reached his office, where Van Eck offered him a seat in front of his desk. Pleased he wasn’t locked up or handed over to enemy agents yet, Kuwei sat down.

“As I’ve said before,” Van Eck said, “this will be profitable for all of us.”

Kuwei leaned forward. “There is one small piece I need to clarify.”

“Oh?”

“Who is the ‘third party’ you want to join us?” He’d debated about whether or not he should include himself in the deal, but finally decided it would make him appear more confident. “My father won’t meet with anyone without knowing who it is.”

Van Eck regarded him for a long moment, and then said, “My associate is a man named Pekka Rollins.”

In spite of himself, Kuwei drew back. “He’s a criminal.”

“He’s interested in more legitimate ventures, or so he’s assured me.”

Sweat rolled down the back of Kuwei’s neck. “I’ll need to find out what my father thinks about this, but I’m sure we can come to an arrangement.”

“Why don’t I—” Van Eck cut off with a scowl as a servant entered the room.

The servant bowed. “Sir, there are people at the door insisting they speak with you. They won’t go away.”

“What do they want?”

“I don’t know. They said it was urgent.”

With a sigh, Van Eck rose. “Please wait here, Mr. Yul-Bo. This shouldn’t take long.”

If all went as planned, it would take much longer than he thought. Matthias and Nina promised they’d be able to buy him at least fifteen minutes. The moment Van Eck and the servant were both out of the room, Kuwei jumped to his feet.

There had to be something in the office. It was the most logical spot. He’d researched eavesdropping devices the night before after his marathon of spy shows, and from what Wylan told Kaz, it seemed most likely that Van Eck had some sort of central device.

With a nervous glance at the door, he walked around to the other side of the desk. If he didn’t find anything, he’d have to check the computer, but that seemed less likely since Kaz hadn’t found audio files.

In a stroke of luck, the desk drawers weren’t locked. He opened each one and looked for anything that might point toward Wylan’s location. Nothing. No wonder Van Eck didn’t lock his desk, if he didn’t keep anything incriminating around.

Kuwei opened the final drawer and found a small black electronic device. He picked it up and studied it. It could be a recording device.

Yes, this was the life he was made for. He felt like he stood with his greatest heroes as he carefully turned on the device and figured out how it worked. It did seem linked to other devices somewhere in the mansion—the hidden microphones, no doubt. He searched the menus until he found a section to replay recorded messages.

Which was entire empty save for one file. He took another look back at the door and played it.

_“I’m glad you reconsidered,” Van Eck said._

_“I haven’t made up my mind yet,” his own voice said in response, “but I realized it was worth at least hearing you out.”_

Kuwei stopped the recording. Good news, it definitely was what he’d been looking for. Bad news, Van Eck must regularly erase all recordings. He returned the device to the drawer and shut it.

What now? That was their best chance for finding evidence. Kuwei hesitated, then moved toward the door. Maybe Wylan was actually still inside the house, and his stepmother just didn’t know. Maybe he was being held prisoner, and Kuwei would rescue him, and then—

The ringing of the telephone nearly made him jump out of his skin.

It stopped after two rings. Kuwei hesitated. But he’d seen this done a thousand times in movies. He crossed the distance to the desk, picked up the phone, and covered the mouthpiece so he could listen in without being heard.

“One moment,” a servant’s voice said on the other end.

Kuwei waited.

After a brief period of silence, Van Eck joined the call. “Yes?”

“It’s done,” an unfamiliar voice said.

“You’re sure?”

“There’s no doubt at all.”

“Good,” Van Eck said. “Now, about our second venture—”

“I’ve changed my mind,” the man said. “We’re through. Once you send my payment, that’s the last I want to work together.”

“What?”

“It’s too risky. I’m out.”

Van Eck sounded furious. “You can’t back out now! I’ve got Yul-Bayur’s boy waiting for me right now; he’s willing to make a deal.”

His father’s name sent a jolt through Kuwei. This must be Pekka Rollins on the other end of the phone, then, calling Van Eck about their business together. He held his breath, not daring to do anything that might give himself away.

“You make the deal,” Rollins said. “I have no interest in his work any longer.”

Van Eck’s sudden laugh made the hair on Kuwei’s neck stand on end. “Am I too cold for you, Rollins? I didn’t know you were sentimental.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. If I was sentimental, I wouldn’t have killed the boy.”

Kuwei’s stomach dropped. He must have heard wrong. Van Eck couldn’t have…

“Fine,” Van Eck said. “As much as I dislike dissolving our partnership, you’re under no obligation to me. I’ll send your payment shortly.”

“That’s all I wanted to hear. I’ve done my part, Van Eck. It’s all up to you now. Just remember to look shocked.”

Look shocked about what? Kuwei gripped the phone so tightly his knuckles turned white as Rollins continued.

“Play the role of a grieving father, and no one will ever suspect a thing.”


	32. Shattered

Jesper paced in Kaz’s office, their agreed upon meeting spot. Surely Kuwei should have been back by then. Something must have gone wrong. Van Eck got suspicious, or that nut started rambling about spies and got caught, or…

Inej, who sat by the window, abruptly stood up. “He’s on his way.”

“How does he look?” Jesper asked.

She shook her head. “Not good.”

His stomach twisted, but he led the way out to the front door and opened it, with the others right behind him. As soon as he saw Kuwei, he knew what Inej meant. The other boy was pale, his eyes wide. His gaze locked with Jesper’s, and he opened his mouth, but nothing came out.

“What is it?” Jesper asked. “Did you find Wylan?”

Kuwei walked inside and stared at them all.

“Where is he?” Matthias asked, no doubt already planning his rescue attempt.

“He…” Kuwei looked like he was having trouble breathing. “He…”

Nina put her hand on his shoulder. “Hey, are you okay? Did Van Eck do something to you? We distracted him for as long as we could, but he had to go take a phone call…”

Kuwei shook his head. He ran his hands over his face and then looked up at them again. “I think Wylan is… dead.”

The world spun out of control around Jesper. His body went hot and then cold as he struggled to focus. Kuwei couldn’t have said what he thought he did.

“When the phone call came, I…” Kuwei’s voice shook so bad he sounded like he might start crying. “I listened in. It was Pekka Rollins.”

Kaz’s eyes narrowed.

“He said… He said…” Kuwei rubbed his face again. “He said he’d killed someone for Van Eck and told him to act like a grieving father.”

Jesper’s knees buckled.

Wylan…

Matthias stepped toward Kuwei. “If this is your idea of a sick joke—”

“It’s not, it’s not.” This time, Kuwei really did start crying. “That’s what I heard, I swear. I think Van Eck hired Pekka Rollins to kill Wylan.”

Everyone looked shocked, even Kaz looked stunned, although their faces became blurred and hazy as Jesper’s world shattered. He tried to remember how to breathe.

Wylan…

No…

The other boy’s smile drifted through his memory. His laughter, the touch of his hands, the taste of his lips, his fear when he thought he was worthless, his quiet joy as he gained confidence in himself. Their promises to one another, Jesper’s dreams of a future together, the beautiful handwritten music he kept safely in his room.

Wylan… gone forever? Dead?

“No…” Jesper shook his head. Any minute, someone had to say it was a mistake. Kuwei would admit he was just joking after all, or Kaz would reveal someone else Van Eck wanted killed, or this nightmare would end and he’d wake up the morning before Kuwei was to attempt his infiltration. “No!”

“Jesper…” Nina’s eyes were wet with tears, but she reached toward him as if to comfort him.

He pulled away. Tears blurred his own vision and he let them run free. “I love him. Do you get it? I _love_ him.”

“Maybe he’s all right,” Inej said. “Maybe there’s been a mistake.”

“How?” he asked, the word an angry scream wrenched from his throat even as his heart leaped at the slightest shred of hope that Wylan was alive.

“I…”

Kaz interrupted her, his voice harsh. “Don’t waste Jesper’s time with false hopes.”

She looked shocked. “Kaz!”

“False hope will just hurt him more in the end.”

What he said was logical, but Jesper hated him for it. He wanted Inej to tell him everything would be okay. He wanted them all to say they’d find and save Wylan, and keep saying that until Wylan showed up safe and sound. But Kaz… Kaz acted like there was no point in hoping. It was like he’d already accepted Wylan’s death, shrugging it off like any other piece of news.

“What’s wrong with you?” Jesper screamed. “Don’t you care about Wylan?”

“Pull yourself together,” Kaz said. “People die all the time.”

Like Wylan meant nothing to him at all. Jesper lunged for him, intending to punch Kaz in the nose, but the other boy stepped out of the way, and Jesper’s momentum carried him forward into the wall instead.

The impact hurt, but it only emphasized the hollow void inside of him. Wylan… He sagged against the wall. What did anything else matter anymore?

“Van Eck will pay for this,” Matthias said.

Jesper looked up. Yes. Revenge. He could focus on that. It wasn’t what he wanted. What he wanted, more than anything else in the world, was for Wylan to be all right.

But if he couldn’t have that, he’d settle for destroying Jan Van Eck.

# 

“You’re accusing Jan Van Eck of first-degree murder. That’s not a decision to make lightly.”

Jesper blinked and realized she was addressing him. He lifted his head and looked up at Genya. Prosecutor Genya Safin. Part of Nina’s large extended family and one of the few people who might be able to help them.

“If he hired a hitman,” she said, as if she thought Jesper’s silence was because he didn’t understand, “he’ll be charged with first-degree murder even though he didn’t do it himself. Van Eck has influence and resources. It won’t be an easy battle.”

“It has to be possible,” Jesper said. “I don’t care if it’s _easy_.”

He didn’t care about much of anything, in fact. He’d been in a daze ever since he heard the news from Kuwei. He had to take Van Eck down. After that… he wasn’t sure what he’d do. Going back to the way life was before he met Wylan felt impossible.

Genya nodded. “A man like Van Eck will benefit if we delay. It’ll give him time to pull strings and manipulate the case. So we’ll need to move quickly. Marya Hendriks is a valuable witness. Of course, the defense will call Alys Van Eck to testify. Do any of you know her? What is she like?”

“I think she loved Wylan,” Jesper said. How could anyone _not_ love Wylan? “She seemed… a little odd. I don’t think she knows about the abuse.”

“So if she defends Van Eck, it will be because she’s oblivious, not malicious. He’ll probably coach her on what to say. We can work with that; we just need to ask her questions he won’t have prepared her for.”

As she continued to go over what they’d need to do and how they should handle the situation, Jesper felt like he was in a fog. He wrapped his arms around himself, but it didn’t change the cold feeling inside.

He didn’t remember ever feeling this miserable before. Even at his lowest, it wasn’t this bad. Never before had he had something so beautiful and precious snatched away from him. And Wylan deserved better. He deserved _so_ much better. Jesper wanted to drink to make the pain go away, but it made him think about the last time he saw Wylan. If he’d been sober that night, maybe he could have saved him.

At last, Genya left.

“Jesper…” Inej touched his shoulder gently.

He jumped and looked at her. She had better not say anything about how things would be all right or that he’d feel better once time passed. He wouldn’t. He couldn’t.

“You’ll need to get some sleep before we face Van Eck,” she said.

Jesper looked away. The night before, he’d barely slept a wink. Every time he fell asleep, it was into nightmares where Wylan was screaming for him, begging him for help, but by the time he got there, it was too late. He watched Wylan die in his nightmares so many times he finally decided it was better not to sleep at all.

Still, she had a point. He needed to be at the top of his game to take down Van Eck. And Wylan deserved justice. At least he could tell Wylan in his nightmares that he was going to fight for him.

God… Sweet, gentle Wylan… Jan Van Eck was a monster.

“Genya wants to bring this to trial immediately,” Nina said, “before Van Eck has a chance to cover his tracks.”

“He can be defeated,” Matthias said.

Jesper looked at his friends, and at Kuwei, who seemed to be avoiding him, like he was afraid to even go near him after what happened. He couldn’t help but think back to how Kuwei flirted with him before. Back then, he’d probably thought it would be nice if Wylan wasn’t in the picture. He must feel so guilty for those thoughts.

Then he looked at Kaz, who had remained silent through the whole thing.

Kaz met his gaze and stood. “Well, you don’t need me for this.”

Wait… what? Jesper also stood. “What are you talking about?”

“Court. You don’t need me there.”

“You’re walking out on us at a time like this?”

Kaz shrugged. “I barely knew Wylan. I can’t testify.”

That wasn’t the point. Jesper clenched his hands into fists. “You could try.”

“I have things to do.”

“Kaz! What could be more important than getting justice for Wylan?”

“No one ever catches Pekka Rollins. He’s probably hiding the evidence as we speak. This might finally be my chance to take him down.” His eyebrows twitched. “Maybe I’ll even find Wylan’s body before he has a chance to plant it somewhere favorable for Van Eck.”

And then he walked out the door before Jesper had a chance to stop him.

# 

“…and so when I picked up the phone, I heard my father’s name and realized Mr. Van Eck must be talking to Pekka Rollins,” Kuwei said from the witness stand, “and so I kept listening because I was uncomfortable not knowing more about the deal. Then I heard Mr. Rollins say he’d ‘killed the boy’ and told Mr. Van Eck to act like ‘a grieving father’ when he heard the news. Since Wylan had transferred schools, I got scared about what that meant, so I pretended everything was okay until I could leave.”

“Thank you,” Genya said to him. “That’s all the testimony I need from you right now.”

Jesper thought Kuwei’s testimony was pretty damning. But then again, he’d thought the same of the evidence that Wylan had never transferred to his new school and the report that the men seen at the Van Eck mansion that morning had criminal backgrounds, yet somehow Van Eck was still getting away with things.

Wherever Van Eck had dug up Cornelis Smeet, he was the sort of slimy scum that gave lawyers a bad name. He had a lie for everything. His client had intended to let Wylan get used to his new surroundings before putting through the official transfer, he’d hired the men on a good recommendation and had no idea of their pasts, lie after lie, and worst of all, he was painting Van Eck as a loving father who wanted nothing more than to find his missing son.

“Mr. Yul-Bo,” Smeet said, “you repeatedly declined my client’s offers to work with you, did you not?”

Kuwei tilted his head, as if trying to see where there could be a trap in that. “Yes…”

Smeet nodded, like that was all he needed to know. He turned away from the witness stand. “It’s obvious what happened here. Due to the company Kuwei Yul-Bo kept, he’d heard unpleasant lies about my client. Afraid to back out of the deal, he devised a story that would make Mr. Van Eck look bad, allowing him a way to safely cut contact. Rash, but understandable. He’s young, after all.”

“That’s not what happened!” Kuwei said.

“No one else heard this supposed phone call. The call my client took that day was completely unrelated to Wylan Van Eck’s unfortunate disappearance.”

“Mr. Smeet,” Genya said, “you have yet to deny his allegation that Mr. Van Eck and Pekka Rollins wanted information from Bo Yul-Bayur, a scientist whose work for the government is strictly classified.”

Smeet spread his arms. “I was getting to that. For quite some time now, my client has been working to trap Pekka Rollins…”

Sudden pain made Jesper realize he was digging his fingernails into his palms so hard he’d drawn blood. He tried to relax. Eventually it would be his turn on the stand to testify about his knowledge of Wylan’s abuse, and if that creepy lawyer turned it around on him, he wasn’t sure he’d be able to resist punching him.

But he could already hear the sorts of things Smeet would say. He’d claim Wylan lied, or exaggerated, or Jesper wanted to lure him away from his home so bad that he was twisting things… And above it all, even if they proved Rollins had murdered Wylan, Smeet would simply dismantle any proof that Van Eck was in on it.

Just like Wylan warned him in the library that day, everything would fall in his father’s favor. Jesper wasn’t sure even Marya’s testimony could save them.

His nails dug into his palms again. He couldn’t bring himself to care. He was numb. All he had left was the need to destroy Van Eck, and at the rate things were going, he wouldn’t even get that.

He drew a deep breath. If Van Eck won the case, Jesper would kill him.

The decision settled in on him like a deep freeze sinking into his bones. He’d fired a gun before, while hunting. He’d get it and put a bullet through Van Eck’s brain. Then he’d turn himself in. He’d go to prison, but it didn’t matter.

Van Eck had beaten Wylan, left him emotionally scarred, and ordered his death. That man would _not_ walk free.


	33. Ghosts

Marya’s testimony didn’t help as much as Jesper expected it to. Although she testified about being divorced and falsely placed in an institution, and Genya produced the records of Van Eck’s regular payments to St. Hilde’s, Smeet dismissed it all as a product of Marya’s supposed paranoia. He claimed she really did need to be institutionalized and that the payments were meant to ensure she would receive the best possible care. As for the lies about her “death,” he insisted Van Eck thought it would be too traumatic for Wylan to know the truth.

Then he “kindly” suggested Marya not have to remain in the courtroom unless they needed further testimony—which was probably a good thing, since she looked like she might break down every time she saw Van Eck, but Smeet was almost certainly doing it to remind the jury that she was unstable.

If there was one thing in their favor, though, it was that they had so _much._

Smeet and Van Eck deflected every piece of evidence and every witness testimony they brought, but Jesper could tell the jury was disturbed by just how many things _needed_ to be refuted.

It was almost time for Jesper to testify. He took a deep breath to brace himself. He’d do his best for Wylan, but they needed a miracle.

#

The sun beat down on Wylan’s head. With every step, he realized his brilliant plan had some flaws—especially when he had no money with him and didn’t know how long his kidnappers had traveled once he lost consciousness. He had no idea where he was. Home could be a few miles away, or hundreds.

But he was alive and free, and that meant he had a chance. He stopped to catch his breath. Eventually he’d reach a town and make his way back to Jesper.

After he’d realized his only chance of survival was to outmaneuver his father in a deadly business deal, he’d composed himself and called Rollins back the next time he was nearby. Wylan had injected as much confidence into his voice as he could, and when Rollins entered the cell, faced him with as much outward calm as though they were in a business meeting.

All the bluffing from class, the pretense and excuses whenever his ability to read came into question, combined with his burgeoning interest in being an actual businessman made him feel almost like a stranger as he addressed Rollins.

“Working with me will be much more beneficial,” he’d said, with a concerted effort to keep terror from his voice. “I’d like to offer you a deal.”

At first, it just made Rollins laugh. “Your father has the money to pay me. You’re just a disinherited boy with no bargaining power.”

“Not if my father goes to jail,” Wylan said, and his attempt to sound in control reminded him absurdly of Kaz, and so he went with it, adopting a persona that was not quite Wylan so much as a mask of people he trusted.

The Dregs believed in him. He could imagine Kaz seizing control of the situation, Inej facing her enemy with no fear, Nina defusing the situation with a lighthearted air, Matthias standing strong in his quiet confidence, and Jesper, sweet Jesper, laughing off any fear he might have felt. Even Kuwei had lied to Wylan’s father when it counted, and all of them wanted Wylan to return safely.

He had to return, for their sake.

So with all of them in his thoughts, Wylan said as casually as if it was an afterthought, “My father is planning to betray you, after all.”

From there, it was merely a matter of negotiations. He knew what his father planned to do to implicate Rollins. If his father went to prison instead, Wylan would one day hold the Van Eck fortune—or make his own way in business. All he wanted in return was his life.

“You want your life in exchange for promises,” Rollins said.

“If nothing else convinces you,” Wylan said, “think about this. You can kill me, but you risk everything in the process. People will be searching for me. My father will give up your name the moment it becomes most convenient for him. If you let me go, you’ll have time to get away.”

“I could kill you now.”

He didn’t let his jolt of fear show. “You could, but not the way my father asked you to. Then you wouldn’t be paid. You wouldn’t gain _anything_ then—you’d just lose the possibility of working with me.”

He hadn’t won yet. But Rollins was considering it. It was visible in his face.

Wylan took a deep breath. “The more time we waste here, the more dangerous things become. My father hates loose ends. I can’t guarantee his plan to betray you is just a failsafe. He might be planning to set you up in advance, to make it harder for you to testify against him.”

Did his father actually intend to do that? Wylan wasn’t sure, but it made sense. If the cops caught Rollins, they’d probably offer him a plea bargain in exchange for testimony. His father would want to create as much distance as possible between them.

Rollins frowned. “He can’t do that. You know he intends that other boy to take the blame for your death, not me.”

“I wasn’t talking about my death,” Wylan said, taking a gamble based on what Jesper had told him that night in the bar. “I’m talking about your meeting with Bo Yul-Bayur.”

His heart hammered wildly as he said the name. If Jesper was wrong, or if his father’s desire for a meeting with Kuwei’s father was unrelated to his dealings with Rollins—

But the criminal’s face darkened with anger. “That meeting is a secret. How do you know about it?”

“How do you think?” Wylan asked, with a laugh to disguise his nervousness. “Due to the way my father handled it, I’d be surprised if there isn’t already an investigation underway. With, of course, my father preparing to deny everything and place it all on you.”

Rollins looked at him for a long time. Wylan mustered his nerve and met his gaze, determined not to falter after he’d come so far.

Something he said must have done the trick. Rollins made a deal with him after that. He would let Wylan go free and clear out with all the evidence. He’d report Wylan’s death to his father to make sure he didn’t suspect a thing. After that, he would be in touch with Wylan for his payment and to discuss further deals.

A hint of mockery in his tone suggested he knew perfectly well Wylan would never deal with him again after this, but it didn’t matter. As long as it worked.

But that left Wylan in the middle of nowhere. He’d taken a day to rest and eat, but he didn’t linger, especially once it occurred to him that his father might send someone to check in on Rollins. Wylan left, and ever since then, he’d been trying to figure out where he was, how long it would take him to reach civilization, and who he could trust once he did.

A black car drove up the road toward him.

Wylan moved to the side and kept his gaze downcast. He didn’t have the nerve to attempt hitchhiking, and every vehicle he saw filled him with fear that it was someone coming to finish the job. Most drove on without a care.

This one didn’t.

It slowed as it neared him.

His heart leaped to his throat. No doubt about it, the car was slowing down, and if after all this he got murdered anyway, that would be so—

He got a good look at the driver and stopped dead in his tracks.

The car pulled up alongside him. The window rolled down. And in as casual a voice as if they’d simply met up somewhere for coffee, Kaz said, “Need a ride?”

Wylan gaped at him and then rubbed his eyes, unable to believe this wasn’t a stress-induced mirage. But the car and its driver remained, so he slowly reached for the passenger side door.

And then he stopped.

It was stupid and paranoid, he knew it was. But after what happened the last time he let someone drive him, his mind rebelled against the idea of doing it again. It screamed that once he got into the car, he’d have no control, and no matter how hard he reminded himself that this was someone he knew and sort of almost trusted, the memories of that terrifying ride assaulted him whenever he tried to move toward the door.

He expected Kaz to demand to know what the problem was or even drive away without him, but instead, the older boy got out of the car.

“How did you find me?” Wylan asked.

“Pekka Rollins brings people here to die.”

“I thought you said he never left evidence.”

“He doesn’t. No evidence, no witnesses.”

“Then…”

“Once, long ago, a ghost escaped to haunt him.”

Wylan stared at him. “Wait, are you saying he once tried to kill _you_?”

“It’s ancient history now.” Kaz shrugged. “Hardly matters. No one believed it anyway.”

Despite his casual demeanor, a hard edge to his voice told Wylan not to press the matter. This wasn’t something Kaz wanted to talk about. That was fine. He understood. “So you came here looking for Rollins? Or did you expect to find my body?”

Kaz regarded him with a strange expression that wasn’t quite a smile and wasn’t quite a smirk, but seemed somewhere in between. “I knew there was a chance of that, but I thought you might just be smart enough to talk your way to safety.”

The unexpected compliment made heat rise to Wylan’s cheeks. Kaz had called him smart. _Kaz Brekker_ had complimented _him_ and called him _smart._ It shouldn’t have made him as happy as it did, but he found himself foolishly grinning at the other boy.

“So,” Kaz said, “are you going to pay him?”

“What?”

“Pekka Rollins. I assume if you made a deal with him, you promised him money once you have control of your own funds. Are you going to go through with it?”

Wylan glanced away. “It’s stupid, isn’t it? He’s a criminal, he was going to kill me, and yet I feel guilty when I think about cheating him.”

Kaz snorted. “You’re one of a kind, Wylan Van Eck.”

Unlike the previous statement, he wasn’t so sure that was meant as a compliment. “Then I guess I should—”

“Pay him,” Kaz said.

Wylan blinked. “What? You think I should?”

“If I get all the data from your communications.”

He laughed. There was the Kaz he knew. Then he moved toward the car again. Their conversation had relaxed him enough to make it easier. He could do this. God, he’d bargained for his own life and escaped death; getting into a car shouldn’t make him nervous at all.

“We need to get to court,” Kaz said. “You’ll make a lot of people very happy. And a ghost interrupting the trial should shake up your father.”

Soon, he’d be back with Jesper. And his friends. Wylan looked at Kaz again. He’d complimented him, sure, but that wasn’t the same as enjoying his company. “Kaz?”

“What?”

“Do you consider me”—but he couldn’t ask _Kaz_ if he considered him a friend, so he quickly changed what he’d been about to say—“one of the Dregs?”

Kaz regarded him for a moment in silence, and then his lips twitched. “Let me put it this way.” He opened the door on the driver’s side. “Once we get back, we’ll make your father wish he’d never been born.”

#

Jesper managed to keep himself from screaming as he testified about his friendship with Wylan and everything Wylan had told him. This time, he was glad they’d had Marya leave the room, since he didn’t want her to hear about how her son was abused. Every word made his heart clench, but he talked about Wylan’s self-esteem issues, his bruises, and all the other signs.

All he left out was the reason. Wylan had sworn him to secrecy about his dyslexia, and Jesper couldn’t bring himself to break his trust. If it was the only way to get justice for him, he’d talk, but until then… he remembered the way Wylan had looked at him when he asked him to keep it a secret, and Jesper just couldn’t say it. Talking about the abuse was painful enough.

He should have done more. God, he should have done more to get Wylan out of there.

The rest of Wylan’s friends looked horrified. Matthias in particular appeared to be debating the morality of decking the defendant during a trial.

At last, Jesper finished answering Genya’s questions and let out a long sigh. That should have been the hard part, but it wasn’t. He still had to face Smeet.

“What the court needs to understand,” the lawyer said with a shake of his head, “is that the boy testifying before you had a strong and decidedly negative influence on Wylan Van Eck.”

Jesper clenched his hands into fists.

“There are countless incidents we can discuss from the past month. On one occasion, Wylan spent the night at his house instead of going home.”

“That wasn’t his fault,” Jesper said, furious. “Van Eck refused to—”

“That same weekend,” Smeet said over him, “Wylan disappeared Saturday evening and did not return until late in the night. And just this past week…”

As he rambled, Jesper frowned. He didn’t remember spending a Saturday evening with Wylan, and that really wasn’t the sort of thing he would forget.

“Therefore, we can come to one inescapable conclusion. Having had something to do with Wylan’s disappearance himself, Jesper Fahey is instead trying to divert suspicion by blaming my client.”

Jesper jumped to his feet. “That’s a lie!”

“Oh,” Smeet said, “I think you’ll find we have enough evidence to disprove whatever false claims you make.”

_What?_ This was ridiculous. Jesper made the mistake of looking at Van Eck, and the cold triumph on his face made Jesper feel sick. Did the man have no compassion at all? No humanity? Was the life of his son really so meaningless to him?

Smeet folded his arms. “I believe we should conduct an immediate search of the areas you two frequented together. No doubt the results will be… enlightening.”

Genya scowled. “If you’re trying to insinuate something, just come out and say it.”

“Very well.” Smeet pointed at Jesper. “My client and I fully believe that this boy is responsible for Wylan Van Eck’s disappearance, and if it should come to pass that he is dead as the prosecution claims, Jesper Fahey is responsible.”

Hatred welled up inside of Jesper. To blame him for Wylan’s death… as if everything else wasn’t bad enough…

“This is outrageous!” Genya snapped.

“You say that now, but I think you’ll find—”

Sudden commotion outside the courtroom made the lawyer stop with a frown. The courtroom doors opened, and two people walked in.

One of them was Kaz. Then a glimpse of red-gold curls beside him drove every other thought from Jesper’s mind.

Wylan. Wylan was there. He was _alive._

Jesper’s legs gave out and he collapsed against the witness stand. For the first time since Kuwei told them what he’d overheard on the phone, Jesper could breathe again.


	34. Reunion

A huge grin spread across Jesper’s face. Wylan was alive. Nothing else seemed to matter much. Even if they lost the case, he’d find a way to get Wylan to safety. They’d run away together if they had to. He was _alive._

Jesper felt like he could do anything.

“Mr. Van Eck,” Genya said, her voice sharp, “aren’t you happy to see your missing son?”

Van Eck’s triumphant look had faded to one of mingled horror and fury. He quickly masked it with a smile. “Of course I’m happy,” he said, his voice filled with false warmth. “Come here, son.”

Wylan stiffened. “No. Stay away from me, _Father_.”

The courtroom erupted into chaos. Jesper couldn’t stand it any longer. He jumped up from the witness stand and raced to Wylan, pushing past everyone in his way. “Wylan, Wylan!” He embraced him and pulled him into a tight hug.

Wylan pressed his face against Jesper’s shoulder. “I’m glad you’re here.”

He was alive. And he looked… fine. Bruised, a little weak, but pretty good for someone who was supposed to be dead.

As the judge called unsuccessfully for order, Genya shouted, “I want Wylan Van Eck added to the list of witnesses.”

“The defense has no objections,” Smeet said, his voice clipped.

The judge banged his gavel. “Court is adjourned until tomorrow, so that both the prosecution and the defense have time to respond to the latest developments.”

People were still shouting. Jesper glanced back and saw Van Eck and Smeet urgently whispering to one another. Neither looked pleased.

“I seem to have created quite a stir,” Wylan said with a weak laugh.

Jesper thought he’d never hear that laugh ever again. He buried his face in the other boy’s hair. “Wylan… I thought… I thought…” And then he was sobbing, all the tears that had dried up over the past few terrible days returning and exploding out of him as the pain crashed into him through his fading numbness. “I thought you were dead.”

Wylan went still and then wrapped his arms around Jesper in return. “I’m here, Jesper. I’m here.”

Jesper couldn’t stop the tears. His breath came in choked gasps as he held Wylan against him. He was real. Warm, solid, _alive_. “Kuwei heard”—he could barely breathe; how was this possible?—“Pekka Rollins tell your father he’d killed you.”

“Oh, Jesper…” Wylan pulled back to look into his eyes. “I had no idea you’d hear about that call.”

“You knew?” he asked, struggling to comprehend how any of this was possible.

“I’ll tell you all about it soon.”

He nuzzled Wylan’s neck, heedless of who saw, then froze. “Are we, uh, still keeping our relationship a secret?”

“No.” As if to emphasize it, Wylan stretched up onto his tiptoes and kissed him. “I really don’t care if my father sees us now.”

Jesper grinned and kissed him back. He hoped it caused Van Eck extra fury.

“Let’s go.” Genya joined them. “Wylan needs to talk to the police, and he should be seen at the hospital.”

As they left the courtroom, Kaz fell in alongside them. He didn’t say a word, but his self-satisfied smile irritated Jesper.

He rounded on Kaz. “You knew he was alive, didn’t you?”

“No. I just had suspicions.”

“You should have told me. Even if I knew there was a chance, it would have helped.”

“And that’s exactly the problem.” Kaz’s voice grew dark. “Van Eck knows Wylan would have gone to you. He must have watched you every minute in the courtroom. If you showed any sign of hope, he would have started preparing himself for the possibility that Wylan was alive. But with you falling to pieces, he had no reason to believe his plan failed. You saw his reaction when Wylan walked in—and so did the jury. They’ll remember this.”

Painful though the past few days had been, his reasoning made sense. Jesper wrapped his arm around Wylan’s shoulder to hold him close as they walked. He didn’t have it in him to stay angry at Kaz. He had Wylan back, and nothing else mattered.

#

Once they were outside the courtroom, Wylan found himself in a whirlwind of hugs. Jesper relinquished his grip long enough for Inej to hug him, Nina tackled him like he was her long-lost best friend, Matthias squeezed him so tightly he was afraid his ribs might crack, Kuwei hugged him with a babbled comment about spy work, and even Colm squeezed his shoulders and promised any support he could give.

Everyone was talking at once, promising him they wouldn’t let his father hurt him again, telling him they’d help in any way they could, and offering him places to stay. Wylan felt so surrounded by love he thought he might explode.

Then Jesper drew a sharp breath.

Wylan looked at him, certain something bad must have happened, but the other boy offered him a tremulous smile.

“I should say something to prepare you,” Jesper said. “But I don’t know what you say at a time like this.

“What do you—” Wylan froze.

A woman was staring at him with wide eyes, her expression torn between hope and fear. The world around Wylan trembled. He looked at her, at her faded red hair and lost gaze, while his mind said it was impossible, she was dead… she’d been dead for years…

Their gazes met. She looked afraid, like she thought he might disappear. “Wylan?”

“Mom?” he whispered.

He ran to her.

Why his mother was alive could wait. He threw his arms around her, and when she tentatively hugged him back, he started crying. His mother had been dead for years, but impossibly, she was back.

“I missed you,” he whispered. “I missed you so much!”

She clung to him, and he tightened his embrace.

Then a woman beside them cleared her throat. “Miss Hendriks is not supposed to have this much excitement.”

Wylan pulled away with a frown. Who was this… _interloper_? From her clothing, she looked like a nurse. Why was a nurse trying to take his mother away from him?

“She needs to go back,” the nurse said.

“Back?” Anger filled him. He had _not_ reunited with his mother after all these years just to lose her again. “Back where? She’s not going anywhere except with me.”

“I’m afraid that’s impossible, sir.”

_Impossible?_ She was _his_ mother.

Before he could explode, Jesper hurried to his side and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Wylan, your father had her committed to an institution.”

His anger turned to pure rage. “She doesn’t need to be in an institution!”

The nurse lifted her hands in an apologetic gesture. “I-I’m sorry, sir, but only Jan Van Eck can reverse the decision…”

So close to his mother, he felt it when she flinched at the sound of his father’s name. Wylan had felt that same fear too many times. His father would pay for everything he’d done to them.

With difficulty, Wylan got himself under control. This wasn’t the nurse’s fault, and she couldn’t do anything to change it. “I understand.”

Once his father went to prison, they could take care of this easily. Either they’d investigate her commitment and determine it was unnecessary, or he’d gain the authority to bring her home—or possibly Alys would, and while that might be awkward, he doubted she would ever intentionally keep his mother from him.

Wylan took a deep breath and looked up into his mother’s worried face. “Don’t worry, Mom. I’ll take care of everything. You’ll be home with me soon.”

Because he hadn’t faced down Pekka Rollins just to let his father win. Oh no. It was high time the whole world learned what a monster his father truly was.

#

After Wylan spoke to the police, he went to the hospital to be checked. Even though he was largely fine, it was decided that he should stay there overnight with guards outside his room, just in case Van Eck would try anything.

Jesper would also be staying, because unless Wylan asked him to leave, he had no intention of letting his precious boyfriend out of his sight. He sat in a chair alongside the hospital bed with Wylan’s hand in his.

The others had long since left, and only Genya remained with them. “Wylan, I have good news and bad news. The good news is the defense loudly waived their right to see your testimony in advance.”

Jesper tightened his grip on Wylan’s hand. Good. Van Eck’s scummy lawyer didn’t deserve to have any contact with Wylan.

“Of course,” she said, “they’re clearly trying to undo the damage from Van Eck’s reaction to your arrival. They’re making it appear like he has nothing to fear from your testimony. The bad news, then, is that they probably have a plan for countering whatever you say.”

Wylan nodded. “Of course. He’ll do what he always does. He’ll deny everything and pretend he has my best interests at heart.”

“You don’t seem worried about that.”

“I’m ready to face him,” Wylan said quietly.

Genya regarded him for a long moment and then nodded. “All right. I’ll let you get some rest now.” She glanced at Jesper. “Take care of him.”

“Always.”

She left the room, and finally, they were alone.

Jesper looked into Wylan’s eyes. “Wylan…”

“Yes?”

His smile made Jesper’s heart sing. “I want to talk to you about something.” He took a deep breath. “I know it might sound stupid for a teenager to say this, since we’ve got our whole lives ahead of us and whatever, but… when I thought you were dead, it was like part of me had been ripped away.”

“Jesper…”

“So now that you’re here again, I have to tell you… I love you. I love you so much.”

Wylan’s wide eyes were like deep, beautiful pools. He slipped out of the hospital bed and embraced Jesper. “I love you too.”

“Are you sure?” Jesper asked, before he could help himself.

Wylan’s eyebrows lifted. “What, you think I’d say that to just anyone?”

“No, but…” Jesper looked away. “I don’t want…” He couldn’t find the words.

“I’m sure, Jesper. I love you.”

“But what happened to you is partly my fault!” he blurted before he could stop himself. It was a terrible time for this conversation, but Jesper couldn’t stop the words from coming. “You went looking for me that night, and that’s when your father sent you away. I know he probably would have done it anyway eventually, but I keep thinking it wouldn’t have happened so soon if I hadn’t been so drunk you had to go searching for me…”

“It’s not your fault,” Wylan said.

“I just don’t want you to… be chained to someone like me.”

It was a long time before he worked up the courage to look at Wylan. When he did, the other boy’s gaze was so warm and gentle, Jesper looked away again in embarrassment. Wylan reached out and took his hands. “Do you remember what I said when we found you that night?”

“I don’t remember much at all except seeing you there.” Another shame to add to the list.

“Then let me tell you again.” Wylan drew him close. “I want to stay by your side. I want to support you like you supported me. I want to help you through everything. Just please, trust me enough to come to me if you make a mistake.”

Jesper’s heart melted. He couldn’t deny him anything. “I will.” He swallowed past a lump in his throat. “I promise.”

Wylan kissed him, and Jesper ran his fingers through his hair. It was a long, slow, tender kiss that seemed to stretch on forever. It filled Jesper with a peace he wasn’t used to, a certainty that he was exactly where he needed to be.

“I love you,” Wylan whispered. “Will you stay with me?”

Jesper wasn’t sure if he meant there in the hospital, or forever. It didn’t matter; the answer was the same. “Of course.”


	35. Warmth

Wylan woke up in Jesper’s arms. They’d slept together in the hospital bed after securing permission for Jesper to stay—the staff had provided a cot for him, but it sat unused. The warmth and sense of security let Wylan keep his eyes shut in bliss. He was safe. He was with Jesper. He was loved.

After the past few days, where he was either tense with fear or putting up the strongest front he could to negotiate with Pekka Rollins, it felt good to finally let everything go. With Jesper, he didn’t have to be Wylan the Businessman. He could be a scared teenager who nearly died and needed someone to comfort him, and there was something oddly relaxing about that.

Jesper mumbled something in his sleep and pulled Wylan closer, and Wylan was more than happy to oblige.

He hated that he’d put Jesper through so much pain, however unintentional it was. Some sort of twisted bad luck placed Kuwei in a position to overhear the phone call when Rollins called Wylan’s father to falsely report his death. Without that, only his father would have assumed him dead.

On the other hand, though, maybe they wouldn’t have pushed for the trial if they only thought he was missing. Additional time to prepare could have given his father more of an upper hand than he had already. This might have been for the best.

Another sound came from Jesper, but this time it was a whimper followed by his name. Wylan opened his eyes and pressed a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I’m here, Jesper. It’s okay.”

Jesper stirred and looked at him. “You’re really alive,” he whispered, and then he crushed Wylan against him and buried his face in his hair like he had the other day.

It was upsetting to see him so serious about this. The Jesper he was used to would tease him for sharing the same bed and make inappropriate remarks, or at least say something silly to make him laugh. He must have really been scared.

Wylan squeezed him tightly. Part of him marveled at the situation. Someone cared about him enough to feel this much pain at the thought of losing him. But the part of his mind that didn’t believe it was possible grew weaker by the day.

Jesper shuddered against him. Was he crying again? Back when they first met, he never would have let that much emotion show. If he felt it, he would have kept it locked away inside rather than admit he cared. As for Wylan, he wouldn’t have been in this position. He would have flinched away at the slightest touch rather than risking showing his attraction.

“I love you,” Wylan said. It felt good to say that and not be afraid. He spoke a little louder. “I love you.”

And he could trust Jesper with anything.

“I love you and I can’t read,” Wylan said, experimenting to see how it felt. Liberating. Like a weight had been lifted from him. No more secrets.

No more shame.

“I love you and I can’t read and there’s nothing wrong with that.” He giggled. “Also I hate my father and I’ll never let him intimidate me ever again.”

Jesper pulled back, eyebrows raised. “You feeling all right, baby?”

Someone whose eyes were puffy from tears just because they woke up together had no right to question him for giggling over his newfound freedom. And for that matter… “Baby?”

“Can I call you that?”

“You can call me whatever you want.”

Jesper wiped his eyes and grinned. “That’s a dangerous offer to make, my darling little sex muffin.”

“Darling little…” Wylan shook his head. “What happened to plain old simple ‘Van Calculus’?”

“Aha! I knew if I tried hard enough, I’d get you to accept ‘Van Calculus’!”

Wylan snorted, then giggled, and then started laughing hysterically, like his tension and stress had built up until he had to let it all out at once.

“I missed your laugh so much,” Jesper said, and then he started crying again.

By the time they were done laughing and crying together, Wylan snuggled up against his chest, more relaxed than he could remember being in a long time. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“Did any witnesses at the trial testify about my dyslexia?”

Jesper shook his head, his expression serious. “I wasn’t sure if I should. I’d promised—and part of me felt I should keep my promise even if you were…” His voice cracked. “Even if you weren’t coming back. I would have testified about it if I thought it would help, but then you showed up and that was the end of that.”

Good. That was exactly what Wylan hoped to hear. He’d testify about it himself when he was on the stand. Once, the thought would have terrified him, but he’d gone through too much for that. He would stand in front of the entire court and tell them he couldn’t read. It would no longer be a dark secret to keep him down. Never again.

Emboldened by his confidence, he leaned in for an open-mouthed kiss.

Jesper responded instantly, passionately. Dizzy, Wylan tried to keep his focus, but when Jesper kissed him like _that_ , he felt like he’d been tossed into a maelstrom of pleasure. It didn’t make sense that something so simple should feel so good. How in the world did he do it?

“Needy Van Calculus,” Jesper murmured against his lips. “When do I hear the story of your great escape?”

Once he learned how things had gone with the trial so far.

At last, that was what Wylan intended to say, but somehow what came out was, “I’ll tell you if you teach me to kiss like that.” His cheeks heated. Of all things to accidentally say out loud…

But he didn’t take it back.

Jesper cackled. “Oho, so I get to be the tutor for once.”

“Looking forward to it?”

“Well, it’s true that I have more experience,” Jesper said, with a gaze so heated it made Wylan squirm, “and since you’re the only one I’ll be kissing from now on, it’s only fair that I bring you to my level.”

Wylan laughed. The only one Jesper would kiss. Oh yes, he liked that a lot.

“Practice makes perfect.” Jesper’s grin grew lascivious. “And dear Van Calculus, I think you might need a _lot_ of practice.”

Kissing Jesper felt like the perfect way to unwind before he had to face the court. And it felt good to see the old, flirtatious Jesper emerging again.

Wylan reached up to touch Jesper’s cheek. “Then we’d better get started.”

#

Two hours later, Wylan had told Jesper the entire story of how he survived, heard his dismal account of the trial so far, and enjoyed several lengthy kissing “lessons” that Jesper promised were just the beginning.

They had eventually remembered where they were and got ready for the day, but that didn’t stop Jesper from drawing him close for one more “lesson” as they waited. Not that Wylan had any objections.

Then Genya arrived, and Wylan pulled away to sit at a respectable distance from Jesper.

She looked at the two of them and shook her head. “The courthouse is surrounded by protesters, Smeet is pulling character witnesses out of his ears, and when I get here, I learn that my star witnesses have been making out in a hospital bed. Nina warned me it would be one of _these_ cases, but I didn’t believe her.”

Wylan’s face heated, and he didn’t need Jesper’s snickering to know he’d turned scarlet. “We weren’t—that is… Were the nurses _watching_?”

“As I understand it,” she said, “the nurse on duty came in to check on you and found you, ahem, occupied. She waited, and then tried again. And then again. As I understand it, there’s no cause to be concerned about your energy level.”

Jesper’s snickering erupted into all-out laughter. He looked like he was having the time of his life.

“We were just kissing a little,” Wylan said, face still hot.

“I’m sure,” Genya said.

This was so embarrassing. On the other hand, if a prosecutor and some nurses giggling over him kissing Jesper was the worst he had to worry about, he’d take it. “What was that about character witnesses?” he asked. “Should we be concerned?”

She sighed. “Your father is a very influential man. He and Smeet have been pulling strings like crazy. They’re doing their best to wash away our case like it’s nothing more than the lies of a misguided boy and his troublemaking friends.”

Jesper’s laughter faded. “I won’t let him take Wylan back.”

“We’ll do everything we can,” Genya said.

Despite their words, both of their voices carried a tinge of fear. They were afraid his father couldn’t be beaten. Wylan closed his eyes. He’d been thinking about this ever since he stepped into the courtroom—no, earlier, ever since Rollins let him go and he knew he would have to face his father next. Everyone saw the respectable Jan Van Eck he wanted them to see. He’d built up his image so carefully, any shred of evidence that supported his good reputation would seem more compelling than mountains of testimony against it.

The only way they could win was if that image crumbled. Jesper and the others testifying wasn’t enough. His mother testifying wasn’t enough. Maybe even his own testimony wouldn’t be enough.

But Wylan wasn’t the same scared child his father expected him to be. He’d faced down Pekka Rollins and came out of it with the upper hand. He’d finally come to terms with himself and his own shortcomings, and realized Wylan Van Eck wasn’t such a bad person to be. That was one thing his father still didn’t accept.

“You’re smiling,” Genya said. “Do you know something we don’t?”

Wylan opened his eyes. “My father isn’t invincible. I’m not afraid anymore.”

She looked skeptical, but nodded. “We should leave soon. I’ll wait until you two are ready—but try not to take too long.”

Once they were alone again, Jesper’s eyebrows lifted. “I know I’m a master of false bravado, but I really hope you have a plan.”

Wylan grinned. “Trust me.”

With a snort, Jesper tapped Wylan’s nose. “Not used to seeing that scheming face on you, Van Calculus. I think we’ve been a bad influence.”

“You mean a good influence.”

Jesper chuckled. “If you say so.”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll believe in you. I trust you, Wylan.”

“Good,” Wylan said, his tone mock-serious. “I expect a nice celebration when we’re done with this.”

“We’ll have the _best_ celebration.” Jesper smiled. “Do you remember the day we had ice cream?”

“How could I ever forget it?”

“That was the first time I thought something might be possible between us. So once we win this, let’s celebrate with ice cream.”

Wylan opened his mouth to accept, then considered that innuendo-laden afternoon and narrowed his eyes. “ _Ice cream_ ice cream, or ‘ice cream’?”

Jesper chuckled and pulled him close into a warm, tight embrace. “Whichever you want, darling. Whichever you want.” He paused. “You’re going to pick regular ice cream, aren’t you?”

Once, his teasing would have frustrated Wylan, but instead it made him laugh. “I guess you’ll just have to wait and find out.”

“Wait, have I been _that_ bad of an influence on you?”

Wylan laughed again and rested his head against Jesper’s shoulder.

“Hey…” Jesper’s tone grew serious. “It’s one thing to joke around, but… no matter what happens in the trial, I’ll keep you safe. I really mean that.” Sincerity filled every word. “I thought about killing your father, you know. If he won.” He looked away. “But now, you’ll need me. So I won’t shoot him. Instead, we’ll run as far as we have to. Unless you’d rather me shoot him.”

Wylan reached up and touched his cheek. “We’re not going to shoot anyone _or_ run away, Jesper.”

“We aren’t?”

“No.” He took a deep breath. “We’re going to _win._ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you're all having a wonderful holiday, winter vacation, etc. (And I know you all probably wanted to see Van Eck taken down as a Christmas present, but instead have some happy fluff ahead of the confrontation.)
> 
> Speaking of Christmas, I was watching the old 1955 movie We're No Angels recently and realized that it surprisingly might appeal to a lot of you. So if you like the idea of a Christmas movie filled with dark comedy that features three dangerous-yet-likable convicts who end up facing a corrupt businessman... seriously, go look it up!
> 
> Merry Christmas!


	36. The Mask

Protesters had the courthouse surrounded. Most of them were carrying signs about bringing down Van Eck, but Jesper still shielded Wylan on their way inside, just in case Van Eck had sent counter-protesters.

And because any opportunity to have his arms around Wylan was worth taking.

Inside, the rest of the Dregs stood waiting along with Kuwei. Jesper looked around and spotted his dad, oddly standing with Marya and her nurse. He hadn’t been sure if Marya would return today or not, since she’d already testified.

Wylan ran to her immediately and hugged her. “You didn’t have to come.”

“I want to be with you,” she whispered.

As they spoke together, Jesper’s dad walked over. “Marya wants to watch the trial for Wylan’s sake, so I’m going to sit with her. I think it will do her good to have someone familiar nearby aside from just that nurse.”

“That’s a good idea.”

After another moment of whispered conversation, Wylan returned to his side. “Mom seems to like you.”

“I’m glad.” He smiled. “Don’t worry. I’ll make sure she’s all right.”

As the two adults left together along with the nurse, Jesper couldn’t help but suspect this wasn’t just an act of goodwill toward Marya, but partly motivated because his dad saw Wylan and Marya becoming part of their family in the future.

Not that Jesper had any objections to that.

Outside, someone began chanting about Van Eck abusing his power, loud enough to be heard inside. It was quickly taken up by the others.

Nina turned to Inej with a frown. “Don’t you think you overdid it with the protestors?”

“They’re not all mine,” she said. “Twice as many people showed up as I expected.”

Kaz cleared his throat. “Half of them are carrying Bibles.”

They all looked at Matthias.

He lifted his hands. “I did not tell anyone at my church to organize a protest!” He paused. “However, the matter of Van Eck’s crimes did come up, and I just _might_ have mentioned the exact place and time of the trial in case anyone thought up the idea on their own.”

Wylan smiled. “You guys are the greatest.”

“Can we really do this?” Kuwei asked. “Is anyone powerful enough to stop your father?”

He nodded. “There’s exactly one person powerful enough to do that.”

Jesper blinked. “Wait, there is? Who?”

“Trust me.”

Could he be talking about himself? But that didn’t seem like the sort of thing Wylan would say.

Genya stepped forward. “We should get going.”

As everyone filed into the courtroom, Jesper admired Wylan for a moment. He’d changed so much since they first met. The shrinking, blushing tutor who could barely look at him without getting flustered seemed almost a completely different person from the confident young man preparing to take down Van Eck.

Sometimes Jesper almost missed how easy it used to be to make Wylan blush. _Almost_ , except—he bent to give Wylan a quick kiss, which earned a surprised look but also a kiss in return—now he could do that whenever he wanted.

“You ready?” Jesper asked.

“I’m ready.” Wylan closed his eyes. “Let’s finish this.”

#

Alys Van Eck was on the witness stand. So far she’d proven to be remarkably unhelpful, swearing with wide eyes that she didn’t know anything about any abuse and that as far as she knew, her husband loved Wylan.

Jesper would have been furious if Wylan didn’t look so sad for her as she spoke.

“Mrs. Van Eck,” Genya said, “can you think of any incidents where your husband seemed unusually angry with Wylan?”

“Well…” Alys glanced at Van Eck.

“You’re under oath,” Genya said.

“It’s just one time. It’s nothing, really.”

“Tell me about it.”

Alys ducked her head. “Well, it’s just that on the night of the break-in, he was upset with Wylan for some reason when we got home—upset with Wylan for coming downstairs. But I’m sure it was just because he could have gotten hurt…”

“Yes,” Smeet cut in smoothly, “it’s obvious what that was about. Any parent becomes upset when their child is in danger, and in this case—”

“Wait a minute.” Genya frowned at Alys. “The night of the break-in? I have a sworn statement here—and the defense repeated it yesterday—that Jan Van Eck told the police Wylan wasn’t home that night.”

Alys frowned. “What? But that’s impossible. He was definitely home.” From the defendant’s seat, Van Eck sharply shook his head, but Alys nodded just as sharply in return. “Yes he was, Jan, because I remember asking him about Rufus!”

“Interesting,” Genya said. “Would the defense care to explain this lie to the police?”

Smeet folded his arms. “My client already discussed this incident with me. He didn’t want to put Wylan through the trauma of being questioned by the police, so he asked him about the incident personally and then pretended he wasn’t home.”

Great. He had an excuse for everything. Jesper rubbed his forehead. If Smeet had his way, the entire court would think Van Eck only ever broke the law or lied to protect his beloved son. It was sickening.

He glanced at Wylan to see how he was taking it. But Wylan didn’t look upset or annoyed. He seemed calm. Almost amused. Definitely scheming.

Wylan’s testimony would be soon. Jesper settled back in his seat. Wylan had asked him to trust him. Well, Jesper trusted Wylan more than anyone else on the planet. This should be interesting to watch.

#

Wylan felt like he was going to pass out as he answered Genya’s questions and gave his testimony. By rights, testifying in court should be less nerve-wracking than trying to make a deal with Pekka Rollins, but despite managing the latter, every time he saw his father staring at him, he wanted to shrink away and recant everything.

But he forced himself to keep talking. He told them everything about how he’d been treated over the years.

“It really started when I was eight,” he said. “Shortly after my mother died—after he _told_ me she died.” Wylan gritted his teeth. “I believe he did it because of me.” His voice cracked. “He blamed her for me.”

“Blamed her for you?” Genya asked. “What do you mean?”

He took a deep breath. “That was right around the time it became clear I couldn’t learn to read.”

Telling his friends was one thing. Saying it in front of the entire courtroom was quite another. He felt dizzy; his stomach lurched like he might be sick. It had been drummed into him over and over that he couldn’t tell anyone. He risked a glance at his father, whose jaw had clenched with anger.

Years of defensive instincts rose up in Wylan and told him to take it back, do whatever it took to appease his father, but he forced his fear away and kept talking. “At first, everyone thought I was just picking it up slowly. Mom helped me with my homework and my father hired special tutors for me.”

He remembered how confused he felt back then. Every other subject, he learned quickly, with a special knack for math despite everyone in school acting like it was the worst subject. But reading never made sense. For a while, he hadn’t understood _why_ they expected him to learn it, until he realized they didn’t see it the way he did.

“Whenever one of my tutors failed, he found a better one. Finally, when I was eight years old, my current tutor told my father I was dyslexic.” Wylan swallowed hard. He felt like his throat was closing. “That tutor disappeared; I never saw him again. Then my mother ‘died.’ My father told me to never reveal to anyone that I couldn’t read, and that’s when it all started.” He took a breath despite feeling like he might choke. “At first it was punishment when my reading skills didn’t improve, but eventually it was just to keep me under control. That’s what all of this is about—he doesn’t want anyone to know that a Van Eck is dyslexic.”

Silence followed his explanation. Genya looked like she didn’t know what to say. Come to think of it, when he said it like that, it made his father sound rather ridiculous.

Smeet cleared his throat. “The defense objects to the claim that Wylan Van Eck has dyslexia. You’ll find no supporting evidence for this whatsoever.”

On trial for child abuse and attempted murder, and his father’s immediate concern was making sure no one knew Wylan was dyslexic. Wylan bit his lip and tried hard not to laugh. His father called _him_ pathetic?

“The defense raises a good point,” the judge said. “If there is no documented proof—”

Wylan raised his voice. “It’s never been made official, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t proof. You can probably track down those old tutors. Or maybe my English teachers would like to testify. I’m sure a lot of my behavior makes a lot more sense to them now.”

His father met his gaze. The look on his face made Wylan instinctively want to do whatever it took to calm his anger, but he steeled himself to do the exact opposite.

“In fact,” Wylan said, “you could bring me something right now to read. Anything you want. I won’t be able to read most of it.”

“Stop.” His father’s whisper made Smeet turn to him with a frown, but he continued. “I don’t know what you want, Wylan, but it’s time to stop this nonsense.”

Still a veneer of politeness. That had to go. Wylan forced himself to hold his father’s gaze. “But you know it’s true. They could bring me a children’s book and I wouldn’t be able to read it.”

“What are you doing? Are you _trying_ to humiliate yourself?”

“Humiliate myself?” Wylan asked. “Is that what it would mean? Admitting my dyslexia would mean humiliating myself? Or do you mean it would humiliate _you_? It’s never about me. You’ve never done anything to help me.”

“ _What_?” His father leaped to his feet. “How can you be so ungrateful?”

With an alarmed look, Smeet tried to tug him back into his chair. Wylan held his breath.

His father batted Smeet’s hand away and glared at Wylan. “You ungrateful brat, I’ve done _everything_ for you. I clothed you, I fed you, I put a roof over your head! I could have thrown you onto the street or had you put away like your mother! Instead, I called you my heir and let everyone see you as the one who would inherit my business.”

“But I wouldn’t have,” Wylan said softly. “I would have been a figurehead.”

“That’s what this is about?” He sneered. “I’m a bad father because I didn’t want you to run my business into the ground?”

Wylan’s jaw clenched. “You made me lie about my dyslexia for years. You—”

“To protect you! Don’t tell me you _want_ everyone to know you’re a blithering idiot.”

“I’m _not_ an idiot.”

“Your reading ability is stunted at the level of a second-grader, if that. Anyone with sense would have gotten rid of you years ago. Out of the goodness of my heart, I kept you as my son. All you had to do was obey a few simple rules, but that was too hard for you. Now you can’t even be grateful for what I tried to do!”

Wylan had prepared himself for the storm he knew would come. He spent years fearing his father’s anger. It wasn’t an easy thing to intentionally bring it upon himself. He’d known it would be rough. He’d been ready for the fear.

But his father’s claims that he’d done everything for him sent prickles of doubt to pierce Wylan’s shield. Suddenly it was like no time had passed, and he was once again a confused child wondering what he needed to do to make his father love him again. And another fear rose up inside of him, a fear he didn’t want to even consider.

He tried to respond, to keep his father talking, but tears blurred his vision.

“Stop crying!” his father shouted. “If you want to talk back to me, at least act like a man. Don’t be so…” He trailed off, as if he realized where he was at last, as if he finally remembered that they weren’t alone in his office as they had been for so many similar conversations.

Wylan gasped for breath and tried to focus in case he needed to return to his testimony. He’d done what he set out to do. He’d torn down his father’s carefully-crafted image, destroyed the mask he wore for the public. The entire court had seen the true Jan Van Eck, and the members of the jury looked both alarmed and horrified.

The only person powerful enough to destroy Jan Van Eck… was Jan Van Eck.

Smeet had the forlorn expression of a man who just watched his legal career go down the drain. He stepped forward. “What my client meant to say is that the relationship between him and his son is slightly strained.”

Genya rolled her eyes.

# 

In the end no one felt the need to pull in Wylan’s teachers to prove his claims about his dyslexia. With all of the testimony and evidence no longer clouded by the polite mask Van Eck showed society, the jury reached a decision quickly.

Jan Van Eck was found guilty of all charges, with a sentencing hearing scheduled for later that week.

After years of suffering under his control, Wylan was free.


	37. Celebration

After the trial, Wylan found himself in yet another whirlwind of hugs. “You were brilliant,” Jesper whispered, as he squeezed him against his chest. “You’re so brave, and you’re amazing.”

Still shaky from his testimony, Wylan savored his embrace for a moment and then turned toward his mother, who stood with her nurse nearby. “It doesn’t matter to do you, does it?” When he spoke in front of the court, the fear rose up in him despite his efforts to control it. “That I… can’t read?”

She started crying and wrapped her arms around him. “Of course it doesn’t matter. I love you, Wylan. I love you.”

He hugged her as tightly as he could. “Mom…” He didn’t want to let go.

“My son, my poor son, what did he do to you?”

Wylan blinked away tears. “We’re safe now, Mom. We both are.” He stepped back and offered a tremulous smile. “Don’t worry about a thing.”

His father was going to jail. He was _free._ Despite Wylan’s confidence going into the trial, it still felt unreal. His father cast such a long shadow over his life, but it would finally be dispelled.

“Wylan, I…”

The hesitant voice made him turn around.

Alys looked at him with wide eyes, her lower lip trembling. “I didn’t know… I never knew he…”

The trial must have hurt her. Wylan stepped closer and gave her a hug. “I know, Alys. He made sure not to do anything where you could see. It’s not your fault.”

“Those horrible things he said about you… Why? I don’t understand. You’re such a sweet boy.”

Wylan wasn’t sure he wanted to try to explain his father’s motivations to Alys, especially not when she looked so lost and unhappy. She was always bubbly and excited, but she looked like her world had been ripped away.

“Can’t I do something to help you?” she asked. “Isn’t there anything I can do?”

Many things, such as making sure his mother was brought home. But maybe it was best to start out with something small. Wylan smiled. “Well, we have a lot of people here who would love to celebrate, and we do have a very large house.”

Alys brightened. “A party? I can throw a party!”

# 

Wylan couldn’t remember the last time his home had so much happiness in it. The large dining room previously reserved for his father’s important business dinners—where Wylan was forced to attend on occasion but was usually warned to stay out of sight—was currently packed with people he loved.

Alys had called home ahead of time to instruct the servants to prepare a celebration dinner, which caused a bit of confusion when they arrived home without his father. But Wylan suspected most of the servants didn’t mind celebrating a guilty verdict, even if it did take them by surprise.

“Thank you for inviting me,” Kuwei said from where he sat across from Wylan. “I called my father to see if he’d like to attend, but he can’t. He has to work.”

Colm, sitting alongside Marya and her nurse, gave Kuwei a curious look. “I’m sorry to hear that. What does your father do for a living?”

“I can’t tell you. It’s so secret I shouldn’t have mentioned it at all.”

“Don’t mind him,” Inej said. “He’s always like this.”

Kuwei nodded solemnly. “One day, I’ll follow in my father’s footsteps. I won’t be able to tell you what that means, but I’ve already gotten in some practice. My infiltration of this very mansion helped us save Wylan!”

Actually, it led Jesper to believe he was dead, but Wylan didn’t correct him. Kuwei wasn’t so bad. As long as he stopped chasing Jesper, they might become friends.

Wylan reached out for a napkin, and Jesper’s hand brushed his.

Jesper winked. “Accident.”

“That’s the third time it’s happened.”

“I seem to be clumsy today.” Beneath the table, his leg looped around Wylan’s.

Wylan raised his eyebrows. “Another accident?”

“Maybe.” Jesper leaned close. “Is it all right to kiss you at the table?”

Certainly not, not with everyone watching… Wylan glanced around at all the people who loved them and threw caution to the wind. “You can kiss me any time.”

Jesper pulled him close for a long, warm kiss, which earned a delighted squeal from Nina and proud smiles from Inej and Matthias.

Kuwei let out a long sigh. “Oh well, Illya is most people’s favorite character anyway.”

“What?” Wylan asked.

“I just mean I hope you two will be happy.”

They would be. Wylan had no doubts about that.

While the nurse warned them that his mother wouldn’t be able to stay long—oh yes, that situation would have to be fixed as soon as possible—Alys walked to Wylan’s seat.

“Wylan, these are your friends, so you know them better than I do… Is that boy over there having a good time?”

He followed her gaze to Kaz, who sat at the end of the table not talking to anyone. His eyebrows twitched and he met Wylan’s gaze with a slight nod. Inej asked him something, and Kaz gave a short reply before returning to his usual silence.

Wylan looked at Alys. “For him, yes.”

Seeing all of his friends together made Wylan realize how much his life had changed. Not too long ago, having even one real friend would have shocked him.

He really wasn’t much of one for parties, though, and as the celebration wore on, it started to wear him down. Everything had happened so fast. With a mumbled promise to be back soon, he slipped away from the table and into the hall.

There, in the peace and quiet, he closed his eyes and relaxed. It felt strange to stand in this house and not be afraid, but there was nothing to worry about anymore. His father could never hurt him again.

The dining room door opened, and Jesper stepped out. “Hey, you all right?”

Wylan opened his eyes and smiled. Leave it to Jesper to worry about him enough to leave the party. “I’m fine. Just needed some time alone.”

“Does that mean I should go?”

“You looked like you were having a good time in there,” Wylan said.

Jesper grinned. “I’ll have a better time if I’m with you.”

“Really?”

“Completely.”

Words alone weren’t enough to express how much Jesper meant to Wylan. Every moment they spent together was a beautiful, joy-filled one, and now that he was free, they’d have as much time together as they wanted.

They could sit together at lunch, hang out after school, meet up on the weekends… Maybe they’d even spend the night at each other’s houses again.

“You know,” Wylan said, “I’ve seen your house, but you’ve only seen a little bit of mine. Do you want to see the rest?”

“A tour of a mansion? How could I turn that down?”

Wylan reached out and took his hand, then led him away from the dining room. The mansion grew quieter the further they got, but with Jesper alongside him, that wasn’t a bad thing. He opened a door onto a room with a couch and two chairs arranged around a small table.

“This is one of our parlors.”

“Just one of them,” Jesper said with a grin. “Because everyone needs more than one.”

Wylan elbowed him. “We didn’t use this one often, so I used to come here to hide when…” His voice caught in his throat. “…when I wanted to be alone.”

Jesper’s smile faded.

Great. They were off to a fantastic start. Wylan rubbed his head. Even if the whole mansion was filled with unhappy memories, he could have at least picked something better than—

Jesper pulled him close and kissed him.

“Now you have a happy memory in this room,” he whispered when they pulled apart.

Wylan blushed, but it was true. All the bad memories remained, but whenever he’d enter the parlor, he’d think about Jesper, too. He squeezed his hand and led him to the next room.

“This is the regular dining room.” Once, long ago, Wylan’s mother had sat in that dining room with them. That was the last time it had been anything besides a miserable experience. “Sometimes I had meals here alone…” Other times, his father insisted on a family gathering, and Wylan had no choice but to sit there under his cold stare, thinking about what a disappointment he was.

Jesper cleared his throat and kissed Wylan again, a little harder this time.

This was _much_ more fun than the party.

The next room they reached was the library. Even walking inside was difficult. It had so many memories, first of confusion, then of sadness, and then of fear. The library was the place where Wylan failed to read so many times, both when his tutors tried to teach him and when his father demanded demonstrations of his progress.

It was a place of nightmares and self-loathing, and as much as he tried to distance the room from its memories, he couldn’t look at all those books without feeling tiny and helpless.

Jesper pressed him against the wall and kissed him so passionately, Wylan’s mind went blank. The bad memories faded into a haze. Nothing existed anymore except for Jesper’s strong hands on his shoulders and questing tongue in his mouth. Wylan’s legs turned to jelly, and he melted against his boyfriend’s tall frame.

At last, Jesper pulled back with a soft smile. “Better?”

“Wait,” Wylan said, “are these kisses proportionate to how unhappy the room made me?”

“Mmhmm.”

He blushed, but then he thought again about all those horrible confrontations in the library over the years. He closed his eyes. “More, please.”

# 

Jesper had thoroughly corrupted Wylan, not that he felt bad about it at all once he compared Wylan’s forward requests for more kisses with his shrinking, self-doubting behavior when they first met. It was about time he had enough confidence to ask for what he wanted.

He glanced at Wylan as they left the library. “Where to next?”

Wylan blushed. “My father’s office is nearby, but since that’s even worse than the library, I’d better not take you there.”

Jesper cackled. “Take me wherever you want, but if you need happier memories than this, at least one of us will have to take our clothes off.”

Wylan elbowed him, then grabbed his hand. “I’ll show you the music room! Come on!”

The moment they entered the music room, with its large piano at the center, Jesper remembered the last time he’d been there. Searching for Wylan, meeting Alys, learning about Wylan’s song…

His breath caught in his throat. The song. He’d almost forgotten about it.

In sharp contrast to his behavior in the parlor, dining room, and library, Wylan smiled as he looked around the room. It must have been a place of solace for him, one of the few places at home where he could find some measure of happiness.

“What, no kiss?” A teasing note entered Wylan’s voice. “Just because I was happy here, I don’t get a kiss?”

Jesper chuckled and shook his head. “Hey, wait here for a moment, all right?”

“Huh? Sure, all right.”

He hurried back out of the music room and retraced their steps until he reached the grand dining area where the celebration was taking place. He walked inside to the sound of laughter—apparently Matthias had told a joke no one else understood and Nina was attempting to explain it with little success—and went to his dad’s seat.

“Dad, do you still have that song I asked you to bring?”

His dad blinked and then reached inside his coat. He pulled out a sheet of paper with a partially-written composition on it. And at the top, of course, its title.

_For Jesper._

# 

Jesper burst back into the music room and found Wylan waiting. He took a deep breath and held out the song.

Wylan’s eyes widened. “How did you get this?”

“Alys gave it to me when I was looking for you.” Jesper hesitated. “I was hoping you’d play it for me.”

Wylan blushed and ducked his head. “It’s not finished.”

“I want to hear what you’ve written so far. Please?”

After a moment of hesitation, Wylan sat down at the piano and set the music on the stand. He patted the space on the bench next to him, and Jesper sat down. He’d dreamed of this moment ever since he saw the music.

“It’s not great,” Wylan said, “especially since I couldn’t practice often…”

Jesper winked. “Then you’ll just have to do a second concert for me later.”

Wylan laughed and started to play.

The music started out slow and quiet, but gradually grew in volume and speed. It was a sweeping melody that made Jesper imagine birds soaring through the sky. Some parts were slower, others were upbeat, but every piece of the song was filled with happiness and warmth.

It was the most beautiful thing he’d ever heard.

At last, Wylan finished. “That’s all I have so far.”

“It’s amazing,” Jesper whispered. He knew Wylan was brilliant, but that he could sit down and create something so beautiful was mind-boggling. “So that song… represents me?”

Wylan gave him a shy smile. “It’s how I feel when I’m with you.”

Jesper had planned to tease his boyfriend a little more about not getting a kiss in the music room, but hearing that beautiful song and knowing what it meant made it impossible. All that beauty, all that joy… was how Wylan felt when they were together.

He wrapped his arms around Wylan and kissed him deeply. If he had his way, Wylan would feel that same joy every day for the rest of his life.

#

Three weeks later, Wylan sat with Jesper under the shade of a tree after school. They’d finished their ice cream already, which mean that no matter how much Jesper protested, it was time for tutoring.

“But it’s such a beautiful day!”

Wylan wagged his finger in mock outrage. “If you keep this up, we won’t be studying outside anymore.”

“You’re _cruel_ , Van Calculus.”

He opened Jesper’s math book to the current chapter. “A fine tutor I’d be if I stopped watching out for you now. Matthias warned me to keep a close watch on you.”

“Yeah, and he also told me not to assume a horizontal position near you.” Jesper flopped backward into the grass. “I don’t listen, so why should you?”

Wylan rolled his eyes. “Because you’ve been doing well, and we want to keep that up as we get closer to the end of the semester.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jesper laughed. “Finals and graduation and all that stuff, I know.”

It was the first time in a while either of them had mentioned graduation. Wylan remained quiet for a moment. The word brought so many hopes and fears with it. Next year, he wouldn’t have Jesper at school with him.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do?” he asked.

“Not yet.” Jesper snorted. “I know, you want me to go to college, just like my dad does.”

Wylan leaned over him so he could look straight at him. “I want you to do what’s right for you, Jesper. If that means going to college, or getting a job, or working on the farm, or something else entirely, I want you to take the path you really want.”

Jesper sat up again and gave him a gentle kiss. “Thanks.”

Wylan hesitated. “It won’t change anything between us… will it?”

“What?”

“I mean…” He glanced down at the ground. This had been preying on his thoughts ever since things settled down and he had time to think about the future. “You’ll graduate, and I’ll still have a year of school left. We won’t see each other as often. I don’t want…”

He didn’t want to lose Jesper.

Jesper took him the shoulders and looked into his eyes. “For someone so smart, you sure can be silly at times.”

Wylan frowned. “Silly?”

“Your father couldn’t keep us apart. Pekka Rollins trying to murder you couldn’t keep us apart. Do you really think something like _high school graduation_ is going to do it?”

He laughed. “Okay, when you put it like that, it does sound silly.”

“Trust me, Van Calculus, you won’t get rid of me that easily.” Jesper leaned back against the tree. “Anyway, that’s enough talking about me. How are things going for you?”

Wylan smiled and nestled against his side. “Pretty good. I was a little worried when Mom first came home, but she’s settling in now. She and Alys are becoming friends, too.”

Between his music practice, Alys’s singing, and his mother’s painting, the mansion had never seen so much art. It was starting to feel like a completely different place than the somber home where Wylan grew up.

“And now that my dyslexia is documented, I don’t have to fake my way through classes. There’s all kinds of resources and support I never had access to before.”

In a way, it was amazing. His father had gone to such efforts to suppress his secret, when if revealing it would have made it so much easier to handle. But then, it never had been about helping Wylan, only about his father’s reputation.

 Jesper grew quiet. After a moment, Wylan glanced up at him. The other boy was staring at the ground, his expression unreadable.

“Is something wrong?” Wylan asked.

“Oh, no, of course not.” Jesper twisted a few blades of grass between his fingers. “Just, ah… with all that, I guess you won’t need a business partner to read to you after all, huh?” His quick laugh sounded forced.

Wylan turned to stare at him. “Jesper, I’ll _always_ need you.”

“I guess.”

“If you really do want to help me with the business once I take over… I’d like that a lot.” He grinned. “Besides, you have a wonderful reading voice. Why would I choose anything over listening to your voice?”

Jesper smirked with a bit of his usual bravado. “Well when you put it like that, I understand. No one should be deprived of this voice.”

“Then I still have a business partner?”

“Absolutely.” Jesper winked and looked Wylan up and down. “Not sure what I’ll ask for as payment, though…”

Wylan blushed. “We’ll see.”

“Wait, _really_? Maybe I’d better go to college after all and learn something about business. That way I’ll have at least something besides my outrageous good looks to bring to the table.”

“You already know about investing.”

“Hey, I thought you were going to try to _break_ my gambling habit.”

“It’s not gambling!”

“Whatever you say, Van Calculus…”

Wylan grinned. “If you want to get into a business program, you’ll definitely want good math grades. And you know what that means…”

“Back to math already?” Jesper let out an exaggerated groan and put his hand over his heart. “You’re killing me.”

Wylan rolled his eyes. “All right,  all right. For every problem you do with me today, and every problem you get right on your next quiz, you get a kiss.”

Jesper grabbed his notebook with a wicked laugh and another leer. “Now this is the kind of studying I like. Tougher problems are worth longer kisses, by the way.”

As he got to work on the first problem, Wylan rested his head on Jesper’s shoulder. To think this had all started when he signed up for the tutoring program, just so could escape his house for an extra hour each day. That turned out to be the best decision he ever made.

“Done with the first problem,” Jesper said.

Wylan glanced at the notebook. One math problem was complete, and a promise was a promise. He snuggled close against Jesper and kissed him.

It turned into a long, passionate kiss.

Breathless, Wylan met Jesper’s amused gaze. “Tough problem, huh?”

“Nope.” Jesper smirked. “That was one of the easy ones.”

Wylan laughed and got out his phone. “I’d better send a message home. I have a feeling we’re going to be here a while.”

“That’s right, I need a long, _long_ tutoring session today.”

“Here’s a bonus for trying so hard.” Wylan kissed him again. He would never get tired of kissing Jesper.

Yes, a long tutoring session sounded exactly like what they needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we are, finally at the end.
> 
> It's been a long journey... much longer than I expected when I started writing this story. I expected it to be a bit shorter than my previous modern AU, but instead it ended up being over twice as long. A lot of that happened because of character development--originally Wylan's disappearance would have occurred earlier and the Dregs would have rescued him. Once I got into it, though, I really wanted Wylan to be stronger.
> 
> Kuwei also ended up making the story longer. At first, I only planned for him to be a source of jealousy for Wylan, to cause a bit of extra conflict in the romance... but he ended up with such a better role than that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the story! Thank you all so much for your comments. I loved reading them, and it made me happy to know my fanfic brought you happiness.
> 
> What's coming up next? More Wylan/Jesper? Another modern AU? Will I ever write the fanfic about Wylan and Jesper playing video games that this story started as?
> 
> We'll just have to wait and see...


End file.
